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mama, free, anyone i need help
November 26, 2006
9:32 pm
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free
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Hi Kassie

You're soundin' really good today!

When you get the chance, start googling and reading about stalking online. I've a feeling this man is gonna stalk. It's freaky, but survivable.

I know the feeling of being terrified Kassie. Sometimes it's overwhelming.

Somedays you sound so strong, like today. Hang on to that.

free

November 26, 2006
10:59 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Kasie:

I agree w/ Free. Do your homework. Know what the stalking laws are for your state. The DV thread I posted has some about stalking. Go to womenslaw.org. It has almost anything you want to find out. There is also info on these things here on this site when you sign in I think it is or in support at the very top right maybe. Click the down arrow and there is so so much valuable info there also.

November 27, 2006
8:44 pm
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armyleo
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Kassie,

I'm sorry I wasn't here I shouldhave supported you at least or encouraged. I don't know, I feel bad that I wasn't...

Please write back, I'm here now. I don't know what else to say, I'm not very good with words now. But know that I am thinking of you. and crying right along with you.

Again sorry, I'm sort of disappeared for days.

((((Kassie))))

November 27, 2006
9:00 pm
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kasie919
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Mama,

i just wanted to check in, let you know i am ok, was very tired today, very busy at work, been trying to sort things out,financially, im not gona make it, I need help, so i have contaced dss again about my support, never called me back, i have heard this is typical in this state,

I want some advice, be honest and tell me what you really think..

I have no custody, there is no court papers, nothing, we have no legal seperation, and nothing to prove that we have any kind of agreement..
After i talked to the lawyer today, she asked me why didnt i just go back home, i explained to her about the last few months and the police and what not..
She told me that even if there were reports, yes i may be a flight ridk and they may make if difficult on me IF he chooses to chase me down and fight, she says all they will do is make me come here for the hearings and then work out some kind of arrangement, ..
Now with that being said....

I have seriously been thinking that id like to go, id like yo go some where, not to far, so that i could drive and meet lucifer if need be, but yet far enough away he cant hurt us any more.. I would like to cross the boarder and not be in this state,

Can you or any one else who reads this, tell me honestly if they have first hand knowledge, or some one who has done this, if they have made it and still have custody of there children?

I seriously believe that he wont fight for long he will just give up, the accusations he has been tossing latley make me know he isnt in it for our son, hes in it to make me hate, and hurt...

Thats ok, I am numb to all of his pain, but not to the hurt of loosong my son...

If i go, i know ill have a job, i know i will have transportation, i wont need the truck, id leave it for him to worry about,

Im just trying to look through all my options,

he cant stalk me if im far enough away,he wont drive by my house if im not close enough, and he wont know wher i will be living, that i know for sure i can keep away from him, in any other state, that i have been thinking about going to, even if i go home,he is not allowed to have my home address, if visitation comes up, i will plan a public meeting..

I jsut need some input on any one who has done this and succeeded...

I love you all,

kasie

November 27, 2006
9:03 pm
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kasie919
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Hey Army,

Good to hear from you, we must have been posting at the same time..

Im ok, very hurt confused and at times distraught..

How are you? where ya been ? whats happeneing??

any move forward?

November 27, 2006
9:06 pm
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kasie919
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And you know Army, there wasnt a day that hasnt gone by that i have thought about you..

I worry cause you fall silent, i dont knwo whats worse, knowing or not knowing..

November 27, 2006
9:07 pm
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armyleo
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Kasie, I don't think I'm moving forward...

I just posted about my week-end next door.

Kasie, I'm still holding on, holding on to that thread of hope, that maybe I don't know, maybe things will change.

I know, I know people reading will say enough, it's up to me, but I don't know when.

Kasie, I think of you everyday, I wish I would have been here, but kow you have my support.

I keep telling myself, I'm good, things will change things will work out??? I don't know...

November 27, 2006
9:11 pm
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armyleo
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Ha we think alike, cross posted tht we think of each other...

Seriously I do think about you and pray for your safety, and that you will make it and be truely free.

November 27, 2006
9:18 pm
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kasie919
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where did you post on the other side?

I try not to go any where else any more, it seem s to much drama..

i dont need it so i focus on this side..

I always think about you, i worry so damned much,

you see, im still having difficulty, and im out of that hell whole...

but if you stand tough, you will make it..

I promise you...

November 27, 2006
9:21 pm
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armyleo
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Kasie, I just read your thread, sorry I'm not much help...we will wait for MamaCin, Free and maybe others to help you out.

You are so strong, keep up the fight, when you feel lost, confused and distraught just write, write to me, and others here, Let it out, and then you will feel better.

It's okay if things aren't going well that is why we are here to support, you while you go through this.

November 27, 2006
9:22 pm
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armyleo
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ArmyAngel's ramblings.....

November 27, 2006
9:24 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Armyangel:

I'm so glad to see you. Have not yet read the posting in support. I will soon as I'm finished talking to Jigs.

Not a day goes by that I don't look for a posting from you and from kasie to let us know how you are.

(((holding you close as always)))

November 27, 2006
9:26 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Kasie:

I will give you an honest answer to the best of my ability, but I wqnt to look into the statues first. I'll get back w/ you soon as I can.

November 27, 2006
9:28 pm
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armyleo
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MAMACIN...

I Missed you!!!!

November 27, 2006
9:29 pm
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kasie919
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Hey girl,

Just read your thread, you sound so strong..

you know you are opening up so very much and thats good, your expressing what has been bottled up in you for so long... Im so proud of you..

I know all to well about the crying, i have been a mess since last week..

You know I was home alone on Thanksgiving becasue i was being nice and letting lucifer have his son, so they could go to his bosses for some special thing..

then he pulls that shit.. damn him!!

you know hate is a very harsh word, i tell both my kids not to use it, but latley ive been feeling alot of it towards him, and i dont like that, i feel that nubness coming back, that hurts, cause i know the wall is building and im gona be shut in, no freinds no one to talk to etc..

and you listen here,, there are gobs of men out there looking for some one genuine like you,
I think its kinda funny he thinks your running around, do you know that saying??

"those who accuse are usually the point of the accusation, seeing the reflection in the mirror?"

meaning he has to accuse you to feel good about what he is doing..

im sorry baby, you need to let him go..

Im glad you and the girls went to the movies, see i told you they would be ok, they can see right through him , they love you, they are just as scaired as you..

when you are strong they will be strong...

November 27, 2006
9:31 pm
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kasie919
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Thank you mama,

Ive googled and read as many stautes as i could, i have found none that would deter me,

Im lookin in certain places....

November 27, 2006
9:34 pm
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HI honey. I'm so glad to see you. I hope you are faring ok. i've not yet read the post on support.

Jigs says to tell you Hi and she hopes you are ok. (she doesn't know much of your story). She sends love and kisses to you.

BIG HUGS to you from both of us.

November 27, 2006
9:38 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Kasie:

Also look up the statutes in other states you are considering. I found a new site that I think is easy to use and great at helping you find things. It is.... http://www.divorcenet.com/

you can jump state to state easily.

November 27, 2006
9:39 pm
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kasie919
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Well My little man isnt feeling well, and wants his mama, so im gona call it a night..

Angel, my cyber sister, you know im always thinking about you, I miss talking with you and hope soon we can talk longer, keep up the positive, and keep thinking goals, small ones, your doing just great,

Mama, I will check later on, little man is running a fever and he has seisures if they get to high so i wil lbe giving him a bath,

thank you for caring,

Love Kasie

November 27, 2006
10:13 pm
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Hi Kassie

To stay or to go. It's a tough decision. I stayed kuz I had just landed a full time position and kuz I felt my kids needed their dad in their lives. I figured that things would settle down after awhile. But for me, they did not. My ex husband stalked. It was a nightmare. He just would not stop.

Sometimes I wish I would have gone. Sometimes I'm glad I stayed.

The problem with going is that you're son will spend long lengths of time with lucifer. Like, 6 weeks in the summer, one week at Christmas, Spring Break. He'll be brainwashed during this time. And, he probably won't come home. He'll miss the plane for one reason or another, he'll not show up kuz of car trouble, yada yada yada. Getting him back from his dad will be a problem. But then, that's liable to happen anyhow. My son spent three weeks with his dad just this past summer and I had to go to court to get him back for us to travel to see my family. He lives a few miles away. Ex-monster just wouldn't give him back. And, my son had been brainwashed. During the time with his dad, I was not permitted to speak to him, nor him to me.

Either way, you're gonna have to deal with this most likely. Guys like your husband don't just give up Kassie. He'd have done that already. In his eyes you are guilty of stealing from him what is rightfully his- you and your son. He's gonna be a pain in the ass. to what degree is yet to be seen. the court system is a maze, expensive, and all the threats they might make to Lucifer are just that- threats. There is little accountability. He will always have an excuse, and will appear the victim in front of a judge. It's difficult to get ANYTHING done, ordered, enforced, etc. Sometimes I think our legal system is but a giant multibillion dollar industry that feeds on situations like ours. You said yourself you can't even go to court without an attorney.

If I could do it all again- I would stay and use the level headed, tempered thinking that I've come to learn over the years.

It's a tough decision. Go where you have the most support and best chances financially. If your family is a headache, then it's not with them.

free

November 27, 2006
11:51 pm
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Kasie,

"he grabbed my son and tossed him in, then through me down on the ground..."

Alright he physically abused your child then assaulted you. Then the cops came?

Where I live, that is enough to get you a DV protection order, with NO lawyer and NO money required.

That order can give you:

1) Temporary custody of your child.

2) The right to throw him out of the house and move you and the kid in.

3) The right to his car, and maybe his cell phone.

If you lived here, I would march you to the courthouse tomorrow, and the next day you would have custody of your kid, just like that.

What state do you live in again?

November 28, 2006
1:37 am
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I've not looked up any statutes yet for you kasie. i will get to it tho. You have Free's perspective of living far away. I'll give you my story too. I stayed w/n an hour and a half away and had the same problems Free had. He broke into my home constantly even w/ a protection order. He tried to kidnap my son. He would refuse to bring them home. I'd get the sheriff to take me out to get my kids (coz I knew minute I stepped one foot on his property he'd call and press trespassing and lie) and we'd go to get them and he'd lie and say he had taken them home and I wasn't there. Thing was I knew a few guys on the force and that definitely makes a difference. The city police chief joked that he moved onto my block to watch my house so he'd not have to go home to a cold dinner again. lol. So not funny at the time.

When I remarried we moved an hour and a half away and he still caused as much trouble as he could. it didn't stop till the last graduated from high school and was over 18. Well, he did try again when my son was just out of rehab. That was just a few months ago. I just told him my kids are grown and he has no reason to speak to me so go abuse someone else. Then felt bad I said that last partl.

Free... did you have sole custody or joint custody? I know in this state the police don't want to get involved in domestics but if you have full custody it is blsck and white and there is NO room for question so they will intervene w/ no problems. Sole custody Kasie is the only thing you should agree to and you should be able to get it easily enough. That doesn't mean weenie cannot see his son, but I'd see if you cannot force parenting classes before he gets him again. You may be asked to attend also, but that's ok. If it gets him into them then it's worth the headache if you have the time for it. Make it a class he is not in tho.

November 28, 2006
1:44 am
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Worried_Dad
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South Carolina...is this the right state?

How can an Order of Protection help me?

An Order of Protection can:

Order the abuser not to abuse you or threaten to abuse you

Order the abuser not to communicate with you or try to communicate with you

Order the abuser to stay away from any place you request including your school, home, day care, or workplace

Award temporary custody and visitation rights of your children
Order your abuser to pay temporary financial support for you and/or your child

Grant temporary possession of your shared residence

Prohibit the abuser to get rid of income or property you share

Order the abuser to pay for costs and attorney's fees

Order anything else you ask for that the judge thinks is necessary to keep you safe.

http://www.womenslaw.org/SC/SC.....w_to.htm#2

November 28, 2006
2:35 am
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Great site WD... One of my most fav to use.

November 28, 2006
11:14 pm
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armyleo
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Kasie, your an awesome mom!!!

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