Avatar

Please consider registering
guest

sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register

Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search

— Forum Scope —




— Match —





— Forum Options —





Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters

No permission to create posts
sp_TopicIcon
Ma Strong's Corner
April 11, 2008
10:13 pm
Avatar
free
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 433
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

http://www.uspapalvisit.org/vi....._audio.htm

and clicking on Seton School.

That's my niece singing. I'm not Catholic, but they are. What a blessing for them! this video will be played before mass when the Pope visits.

free

April 12, 2008
9:49 am
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

razor-

Check out an organization called "Adult Children of Alcoholics [ACOA]"." Many great books have been written, to address the specific needs and problems of ACOA's. One of them is -- of course -- a dread of conflict. They run...hide...isolate...avoid...because they learned in early childhood that conflict rendered them UNSAFE. There was no predicting the outcome, should the alcoholic parent(s) become enraged, offended or moody.

So, I am not surprised to learn that you dread such conflicts. It is a very normal reaction for someone with your background. However, it is MANAGEABLE and can be vastly improved with counseling and support. So, please do check into those ACOA books/materials and meetings.

- Ma Strong

April 12, 2008
1:21 pm
Avatar
red blonde
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ma Strong

I am in need of some help. I am so tired of starting over again and again and again... Now I am like lost and floundering. I have been trying to set up a schedule for myself and a routine because all my efforts seem to be unfocused.

Just as I seem to be get everything all together - BAM - something happens and I have to take care of it right away and everything else just goes to hell.

This is when I start to get down on myself, and life, and start feeling that God hates me or is playing a cruel joke on me.

And it really is hard trying to get everything (and myself) going again!

My nerves are still somewhat frayed from the accident and there was so much I had to do which followed the accident, that I just feel like I am picking up the pieces again and do not know where to start! And I just break out in tears.

I have great friends where I live and they help me as much as they can, only problem is that I have been conditioned all my life to not ask for help..to do everything on my own. I am just so tired..spirit wise..soul wise.

April 14, 2008
10:59 am
Avatar
red blonde
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Geesh! I have no idea what happened to the site over the weekend - maybe they were just updating everything....but I think I am going to have to cut back on posting here for awhile...Didn't think I could be codependent on a website!!!! Or maybe it is an addiction!

I really did miss the site though.

April 14, 2008
11:59 am
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Dear red blonde -

I could not access this website all weekend. Must have been "under construction," or something. So, I apologize for taking so long to respond, but it was beyond my control.

If you are experiencing discouragement, exhaustion, confusion, difficulty "organizing," breaking into tears easily and/or sleep difficulties, you may be experiencing post traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) from prior traumas, compounded by the accident. I cannot remember if you are currently seeing a counselor? (How's that for post-menopausal memory problems???) If you are, please ask about the possibility that you are contending with PTSD and get his/her input on whether some transitional support medication would help you.

If you are not seeing a counselor or therapist, you might want to check with your regular physician, describe what you are experiencing and get his/her input regarding medical support while you heal.

= Ma Strong

April 14, 2008
12:25 pm
Avatar
red blonde
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

((((Ma Strong))))

I am seeing a counselor...and she doesn't think that I need meds.

I think it just basically fears and worries that I have to get over. This accident just put a really big dent in my life...I was in the process of trying to set a schedule, to set my priorities and to start focusing on what I have to do...when BAM...everything just went ka-bluey
I had to focus on the accident and all the stuff that it involved and had to push back my other stuff. Just feel horribly disorganized at the present time..car was totalled so I had to get new one...so much paper work and time lost there...then return the rental...fill out more paperwork...then fill out more paperwork that the insurance co. sent..

So instead of doing what I had planned on doing and wanted to do...especially setting up my Children's Workshop...now everything is pushed back. Being 'old', I guess I don't bounce back as good as I did when I was younger..I am more resistant to change.

THank you for responding....I always enjoy your posts...

I got a book while the site was down...complete idiot's guide to organizing your life...how it helps me. I sure could use it. LOL.

Red

April 15, 2008
8:49 am
Avatar
razor
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 140
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks Ma,
I have borrowed a book about ACOA.
I guess that is what I need to concentrate more on.

I have ususally been so obsessed with the goofy men in my life that I don't read that much about myself as a child.

But I think those days are behind me. I have given up in the love department and don't even feel bad about it.

I can't even dream up a good fantasy man anymore! I tried to yesterday evening just to pass the time and it fell flat. hahaha.

So glad the site is back up, I thought the SC has gotten annnoyed at all of us and cut us off!

I went to my alanon meeting last night and came away annoyed because of all the talking out of turn and the same people taking their turn more than once and yakking on and on about things I thought were a waste of time.

I realize I could fight for my spot in the conversation but I don't usually do that. I just shut down and I know that is totally on me.
That doesn't happen a lot anymore...I thought I was getting healthier......oops!

But we only have an hour and I hate to see the time wasted when the same few people go over the same thing a lot of the time.

Oh well just needed to get that off my chest thanks for listening.

You remind me a lot of my alanon sponsor. People just seem to gravitate towards her. Maybe I should call her huh! 🙂

April 18, 2008
7:04 pm
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Razor I don't know which of your parents was an alcoholic or both. My mother was an extremely non functioning alcoholic. I found the best book called Perfect Daughters about the Adult Daughters of Alcoholics and for the first time it went into how things are different if it was your mother. I read it. Cried. Read it. Put it down. Cried. Read it. It really helped me and I haven't had my mother in 23 years.

Bitsy

April 18, 2008
7:08 pm
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ma, I have a blog site I go to that is Christian based. Today the article up for discussion is a book on Marriage; It Isn't About You and how the good Christian puts his or her mate first and especially the man being the "Christlike Bridegroom" How does the Christian Marriage weigh in with Codependency. I once read an article that "codenpendency" had ruined marriage because that partnership and interdependency was what Christian Marriage was based on. Can you comment and clarify based on Theology?

Bitsy

April 18, 2008
10:09 pm
Avatar
free
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 433
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

"wow, free, that really IS a blessing! How often we count our challenges and forget about the blessings."

Thanks free.

lol

April 25, 2008
1:12 pm
Avatar
horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ma Strong, Missed you and love you. Miracles are happening in my life...........thank you you for all of your prayers ! I pray for you too. horsefly

April 25, 2008
2:14 pm
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

horsefly -

Miracles did not stop 2000 years ago! I am glad that you are seeing some wonderful breakthroughs. It has been a long, hard push for you.

Bitsy -

My apologies for not responding sooner. I have been very distracted with the passing of a close friend and failed to notice your posting.

So, you would like my theological take on Christian marriage and codependency? I'll give it my best shot, hoping that I truly understand your posting.

First, I do not believe that Christian marriage is based on codependency. This would imply that one partner controls the other through inappropriate behaviors and that the "codependent" spouse (presumably the wife?) not only tolerates, but ENABLES the inappropriate behavior(s) of the husband. That is hardly a Godly partnership.

For the Christian, marriage is not just a physical union and a legal, contractual agreement of public partnership. It is a spiritual union...a COVENANT relationship, as well. In a covenant relationship, the well-being, success and needs of the partner with whom one is in covenant come first...above your own well-being, success or needs. Should your covenant partner require anything, (support, protection, defense, loyalty, etc.), the covenant union requires that you provide it from your own resources, even if doing so proves "sacrificial" on your part. This does not imply domination or control on the part of one partner and acceptance of being dominated or controlled by the other.

A perfect example would be Christ's relationship to His Bride, the Church. He was willing to lay down his own life, dying in agony on the cross, to pay the price for His Bride's sinful state and provide her with a means to salvation. In short, His union with His Bride was truly sacrificial. This is the attitude and position of a truly Christiain husband towards his wife: sacrificial love. In return the wife will respond with Godly love and equally unselfish loyalty, care, commitment, etc. Do you follow where I am going with this analogy?

I have always kidded (when speaking on marriage) that Godly marriage is the single, greatest breaker of selfishness God ever invented. It is not based on codependency, but on Godly, selfless and sacrificial love for one another, not on domination, control, enablement, etc. Alot of faulty teaching on "submission" has distorted true, Biblical understanding of the roles of husband and wife. The wife is NOT called to be a meek, mild, obedient little slave to a domineering husband. Rather, she is to be honored, respected, cherished and loved sacrificially by her husband, just as Christ loves the Church.

- Ma Strong

April 25, 2008
5:01 pm
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks Ma. That was sort of my understanding but I can see how someone struggling with Co-dependency could get confused.

Bitsy

April 25, 2008
5:02 pm
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

By the way you can read my news on Decisions made after a night of tosing and turning and bankruptcy on the other side.

Bitsy

April 25, 2008
11:35 pm
Avatar
horsefly
this is off....be on this forum for years....not just since last year..we can email each other Now? that Nappy is long gone....
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ma S. I need to tell you about a few of my (little miracles) ....One Huge One is You!............anyway, I touched my son today and his wife was there and the whole thing was beautiful. He smiled in my eyes and the whole world fell into place for me. (sigh).. The boys are back!...I also have seen changes with my own self....which have been a total miracle. I know that God and the good spirits have given me the strength to make it till ....? Love, horsefly

April 27, 2008
11:34 am
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Bitsy-

I must be blind...can't seem to find your thread "Decisions made after a night of tossing and turning..."

I will keep looking. Have I got the title right?

Horsefly-

What a great joy to hold your son in your arms again!!! I share your happiness, dear friend.

- Ma

April 28, 2008
3:46 pm
Avatar
samantha2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 47
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ma - could I ask your help? Could you please read my post on the other side and give me your honest input. I really appreciate your wisdom and honesty. Thanks.
Sam

April 28, 2008
11:36 pm
Avatar
needtoheal
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ma--
Just wanted to say hi..

I know its been a while since we last corresponded.

I know you might be familiar with my story. it's on the needtoheal how are you? thread on the support side.

Hope that things are well with you.

My life was unmanageable but now i am taking control and it feels good...

April 29, 2008
7:57 am
Avatar
samantha2
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 47
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((((Ma)))))
Thanks so much once again. You are always in my thoughts and prayers (I can say that over here!)Your advice gets through my brain and heart like a beam of light in the darkness and confusion. Thank you.

April 29, 2008
10:18 am
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Decisions after a night of tossing and turning. Bankruptcy. Enough was finally enough.

Bitsy

April 29, 2008
12:27 pm
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Bitsy -

I read your thread on Bankruptcy. I had to file bankruptcy nearly 15 years ago with my late husband. At the time, I recall feeling so ashamed and overwhelmed. Now -- once again -- I am facing the possibility of filing bankruptcy again. This time, I am a disabled widow who simply cannot keep up with the big house payments, now that my husband is gone. I have had my house up for sale for two years with no offers.

The current housing market is hurting many people in situations such as mine, so I am not alone in this boat. Neither are you. Like you, I have a near-poverty income.

Do not be ashamed to file BK and get a fresh start.

- Ma Strong

April 29, 2008
2:19 pm
Avatar
DorisDay
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

((((((((((((((((((((MA)))))))))))))))

HI HONEY!

DORIS DAY!

May 1, 2008
9:22 am
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Ma, I haven't seen R in almost 3 weeks and I haven't talked to him in 9 days. Enough was finally enough. He was not supportive in any way about the BK.

Bitsy

May 2, 2008
12:46 pm
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Bitsy -

Three weeks of not seeing R! That is so good. That translates into three weeks of clear thinking and opportunity to HEAL. I am truly glad for you.

When someone is not supportive during a time of difficulties and struggles, he is showing his TRUE colors.

Stand strong, my friend. You are well on your way to walking in the Truth and regaining your peace and strength.

- Ma Strong

May 2, 2008
5:12 pm
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thanks Ma. Today has been difficult and I have cried a lot. Reading your words have helped.

Bitsy

No permission to create posts
Forum Timezone: UTC -8

Most Users Ever Online: 247

Currently Online:
42 Guest(s)

Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)

Top Posters:

onedaythiswillpass: 1134

zarathustra: 562

StronginHim77: 453

free: 433

2013ways: 431

curious64: 408

Member Stats:

Guest Posters: 49

Members: 110768

Moderators: 5

Admins: 3

Forum Stats:

Groups: 8

Forums: 74

Topics: 38534

Posts: 714189

Newest Members:

swearDazy, harrietkf16, ruslankaDazy, mitrashDazy, Markmah, Makarmah

Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0

Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer