Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
lost faith
May 29, 2005
1:41 pm
Avatar
codep
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I cant believe I feel so lost, so empty so alone. No matter how much I pray, no matter how much I go to church, no matter how much I read my bible, I cant find relief from my pain. I know it takes time yada yada.... Why does it hurt so bad? why cant I find any comfort? I have opened my heart "completely" to God, begged him to come into my life and heal me, to show me the way, I gave him all of my faith to pull me through this, why do I still feel so weak and empty? I know we have to be patient, but I always seem to cave, I dont feel his strength in my life no matter how hard I try. I have been on my knees in tears, not praying for anything selfish but only for Him to show me what I need to do to be stronger, how I need to live my life, and I get no answers, only more pain and sorrow.

May 29, 2005
1:59 pm
Avatar
Rasputin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Sweet Codep,

The spiritual experience is felt and perceived diffrently from person to person, depending on our type of personality.

I remember the 1st time I gave my heart to the Lord, I felt a sense of peace and security I never felt before. Of course that does not mean that it should be the case for every one. Some people are more emotional, it is felt strongly; others are more rational, they almost feel nothing more than the rational logical thinking.

I would recommend you to Persevere. I do not know in what situation you are now, or what type of personality you have. But do persist, and you will definitely feel His presence in your life. It will not be in a huge way, but for instance by coming to this site and all those lovely people supporting you... Can you still not feel His unconditional love, care, presence in your life??? What about your other blessing, can you not count and perceive them???

(((Hugs & Prayers)))

May 29, 2005
1:59 pm
Avatar
exoticflower
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Why not start small right now? Just have faith in something helping you through the next hour. It doesn't have to be god as you know it even, just in somehow surviving this moment. You can work your way up to your full faith, baby steps rightn ow. It's better to salvage a scrap of faith than to lose it all togeather, even have faith in yourself to reachout and look for help alright. Baby steps. Have faith in ANYTHING, that you are not going to die from this pain at this moment even. Hang in there codep.

((((((((((it'll be ok)))))))))))))))

May 29, 2005
3:28 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Codep:

Have you ever heard the poem Footprints?

Footprints in the Sand

One night I dreamed I was walking along the beach with the Lord.
Many scenes from my life flashed across the sky.
In each scene I noticed footprints in the sand.
Sometimes there were two sets of footprints,
other times there was one only.
This bothered me because I noticed that during the low periods of my life,
when I was suffering from anguish,
sorrow or defeat,
I could see only one set of footprints,
so I said to the Lord,
“You promised me Lord,
that if I followed you,
you would walk with me always.
But I have noticed that during the most trying periods of my life
there has only been one set of footprints in the sand.
Why, when I needed you most, have you not been there for me?”
The Lord replied,
“The years when you have seen only one set of footprints,
my child, is when I carried you.”

I truly believe he is carrying you now. May I ask. When you give it to God are you leaving it w/ God or are you walking behind him and picking it back up every so often?

Yes, things do take time. Maybe what you are asking for is not what God's will for you is? I don't know one way or the other. Just a thought.

Please believe that God is there with you. He is carrying you. And whatever the outcome then you'll know it is of God if you just leave it with him.

PS. Leave it with God, but also, God will not do it all for you. You'll have to make some changes yourself.

May 29, 2005
4:07 pm
Avatar
Rasputin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

A good book to start off with is "The Purpose Driven Life" by Rick Warren. I give this book to anyone who wants to come to know the Lord.

You are in my thoughts and prayers,

Rasputin

May 31, 2005
2:03 am
Avatar
ladyvirgo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Codep
Perhaps your years make you blind....
Do you not still breathe?

Do you not still reason?

Are you not experiencing?

Do you ever wonder if you need this experience for some reason.... perhaps it is so that when you hear others have this pain, you will know how to empathise.

Having faith insn't so much about not feeling pain becuase of it.... but learning how to endure it...

YOu are doing that.... therefore your faith is helping.........

May 31, 2005
9:21 am
Avatar
lollipop3
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Codep----

I can feel your pain through my computer screen and my heart is breaking for you.

I'd like to share a bit of my story with you and I hope it helps. (I also hope it is appropriate, as I'm still not sure what "liberation brew" is for)

Anyway, I was brought up Catholic and as a child I went to church every week.... even so, I lost my faith a very long time ago and I'd like to explain why...(for myself as well as for you.)

1. I was brought up in a home with a very emotinally unavailable father, whose only two emotions were silence and rage. Being called a godd#@@ asshole at the tender age of 5 was not uncommon.

2. My mother, who was a devout Catholic (speaker at the church, CCD teacher, etc) was also an alcoholic for as far back as I can remember.

3. I was molested as a child from the time I was about 9 years old until 11 years old by a family friend.

4. I started drinking, drugging and smoking cigarettes by the time I was 11 years old and the funny part of was...nobody noticed! I look back on it now and can't believe that at 11 years old, I was coming home drunk and no one even noticed.

5. My mother became sober when I was 13 years old. She was as happy as I had ever seen her. She was truely happy for the first time in her life and she thanked God for it.......
One year and six months later....she was dead.(lung cancer).

I was told at the time...."she fulfilled her purpose"....yeah, okay. Tell that to a 15 year old girl who just lost her mother!!!!

6. My father and I had no way to relate to each other, so I quit school and moved in with my 23 year old sister and her 6 year old son. My sister and I had to sleep in the same bed until I met my first boyfriend......

He was 24. I was 15. I spent the next 3 years living with him in a physically abusive relationship...until I married him at age 18.

Do you see where I'm going with all this?????? (and these are just the highlights)

Faith in God....are you f#@[email protected] kidding me?????

Now, here's where my point begins.

I am now, 34 years old and looking back on it....someone HAD to be looking out for me.

I maintained the presence of mind to know that I don't want to be abused and I will fight you tooth and nail if you try.

With that, I found the strength and I left my abusive husband after only 5 months of marriage.

I have been independant since that day. I am very self sufficent and have always paid my own way through life. I may not have the best stuff in the world....but it's my stuff. I own all of it and I don't owe anybody anything.

I found myself in a pattern of dating alcoholics (big surprise) and decided 10 months ago that was going to change.

Since that day, I found the courage to quit drinking, go to AA and Al-anon, quit my unhappy, unhealthy job and return to school. I just fininshed my first sememster with a 4.0.

Along my journey, I have met so many wonderful, caring, loving people who I believe have been "speaking" to me and I've had the willingness to listen....and to me, that's the most important thing you can do for yourself....have a willingness to listen.

Listen to yourself, listen to the people who truley love you and listen to those who have been there.

Open your heart and the rest will follow.

I'm still not sure exactly what I believe and I know (for myself at least) that what I was taught as a child I CHOOSE not to believe, but I believe in something....I believe in me and I have to believe that there is someone or something lighting the way.

I hope this helped you some how (I know it was cathartic for me) and hope that you find that you are not alone.

With all my love and support,

Lolli

May 31, 2005
12:17 pm
Avatar
on my way
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi codep...
First of all after having spent the weekend reading an extraordinary book about faith...it has brought home to me what faith really is. It is nothing we can do, nothing we can have or go to the store to get "more of". Everything depends on who God is...not who we have to be. Also keep in mind that many of the Biblical characters...Abraham, Job, Peter...all had doubts, fear, sadness, etc. God was there the whole time.

The name of the book..."Extraordinary Faith" by Sheila Walsh. Please buy it, it will help you through all of the doubt, depression, etc.

Keep in touch as to how you are doing.

May 31, 2005
12:35 pm
Avatar
angel4U
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((((((((((codep)))))))))))

I can feel your pain as well and my heart and prayers are with you right now. You sound like you are so much in need of people that have love and comfort in their hearts, and that are willing to share it with you. They are out there, I promise you. Please keep reaching out and God will bring them to you.

Have you tried talking to someone at the church, or joining in on church group discussions? Churches have counselors that will be able to help you look at things from a more spiritual perspective, which I find so important during these times. Sometimes you have to go to more than one to find someone that you can relate to, but it so worth it.

Don't give up, kiddo! Keep reaching out. God is here and will guide you in the right direction if you let him. I promise you that.

Love, hugs and prayers to you,

angel4U

May 31, 2005
12:38 pm
Avatar
angel4U
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

((((((((((lollipop3))))))))))

That certainly had to be alot to bear and share. I'm proud of you, girl! I am posting one for you on a thread titled "The Front Row".

angel4U

May 31, 2005
1:27 pm
Avatar
angel4U
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

lollipop3 -

I need to add that I so much can relate to what you shared. My history was somewhat different, but the pain and struggles were somewhat the same.

What I relate to most of all is that feeling of needing to keep moving in the right direction, no matter how difficult or confusing it can be ... and it is confusing when the love, comfort, and guidance as a child was not there.

These are the words you shared that really hit home for me the most ...

"Along my journey, I have met so many wonderful, caring, loving people who I believe have been "speaking" to me and I've had the willingness to listen....and to me, that's the most important thing you can do for yourself....have a willingness to listen."

"Listen to yourself, listen to the people who truley love you and listen to those who have been there. Open your heart and the rest will follow."

"I'm still not sure exactly what I believe and I know (for myself at least) that what I was taught as a child I CHOOSE not to believe, but I believe in something....I believe in me and I have to believe that there is someone or something lighting the way."

It truly is amazing what you can accomplish when you have faith in yourself and something bigger than yourself, isn't it? I know it works, I'm living proof too!

You keep going girl, I'm proud of you!!

May 31, 2005
3:35 pm
Avatar
lollipop3
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Angel,

As I said in the "front row" thread.....if there is a God....you certainly must be His gift to us.

Thank you,

Lolli

May 31, 2005
4:05 pm
Avatar
Rasputin
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((Sweet Lollipop)))

I can't believe it you went to all that kind of life. You are such a warm and caring person!

Thank you for sharing your story with us. I admire you for the strength of your character despite what you've been through and what you are going through right now.

Your story brought tears to my eyes. I have read the other thread of you
about your separation of your B/F and I did not reply caue I could not relate to it or have a proper answer, but I am keeping you in my prayers, sweetie.

(((Hugs & Prayers)))

May 31, 2005
4:18 pm
Avatar
lollipop3
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you so much Rasputin-----

I honestly don't think about all that stuff much during my daily life.

The reason I chose to share my story was because
I just felt so bad for codep because I really could relate to how she was feeling. I just wanted her to know that I understand and that no matter what life throws at you, there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, if you choose to see it.

I truely hoped my story helped her in some way.

May 31, 2005
4:28 pm
Avatar
2bstrong
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Dear codep...

Just by posting this thread tells me how strong you are, that your faith and patience--even though they feel thin at this time--are strong enough to carry you through the torturous "growing" pain that you are feeling at this time.

I want you to know that I will be especially thinking of you in my own prayers this day, that you might break through your pain and feel the love surrounding you...

2bstrong

June 1, 2005
6:54 am
Avatar
CODA_Mom
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

(((codep)))

You are not alone, all of us here have also been thru "the dark night of the soul" as you have described, though in different circumstances.

Jesus, in unbearable pain on the cross cried, "My God, My God, why have you forsaken me? He didn't do anything wrong worthy of the death He suffered, but did many of the "right" things that you've described...read (and taught) the scriptures, He prayed, went to church (synagogue) and did good wherever He went. Yet because of His suffering and death, you and I have hope in a better life ahead (Heaven), and the promise of peace (that doesn't make sense) here on Earth. His suffering, as well as ours, is never done in a void. It always accomplishes a higher purpose.

Maybe what you're going thru right now is not making any sense at all, and you're wondering why God isn't just stepping in and taking it all away, after all, He is God and can do that. For reasons I cannot understand, God doesn't always choose to work this way. For some of us, He prefers to use pain and suffering in the form of others' rejection, physical handicaps, disease, abusive parents, loss of loved ones, etc., in order to teach us more about His plan for our lives.

One thing that ladyv wrote really touched home for me:

"Do you ever wonder if you need this experience for some reason.... perhaps it is so that when you hear others have this pain, you will know how to empathise".

I have found that I am only effectively able to help others in areas where I have been myself. Nothing you are going thru today will be wasted, you will always empathize with others who are rejected, hard on their "luck", struggling in their faith...God's power shines best thru our weaknesses, not our strengths.

For now, I just want to encourage you that all that you're going thru today will pass (not my promise, but His), it will not go on forever. Even though you don't feel very strong, rest assured that each "crisis of faith" makes us a bit stronger without our realizing it. I will keep you in my prayers throughout the day.

(((lollipop)))

Thanks so much for sharing your life with us. I wanted to say that I admire your courage and strength in the face of all you've been thru.

June 1, 2005
7:53 am
Avatar
saralynn
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Dear Codep, Jesus said that if you have faith the size of a mustard seed - you can move a mountain.

I never understood that verse. I just always figured I didn't even have faith the size of a mustard seed...until one day my husband came home, sat across the table from me and told me he had lied to me; that he hadn't been at work, that he cheated on me, and that it was with a man. We have a good marriage, 3 beautiful children, involved in church, our community....I was floored.

This was 1 year ago. There was a moment when I wanted to give it all up - my life, my hopes, my dreams, God...and it was then I understood that verse. When MY faith completely ran out, when I came to the very end of myself - that's when His Faith came to my rescue. In my deepest, darkest, hopelessness - He came.

I love you for sharing your heart - it made it easier to share mine...~saralynn

June 4, 2005
3:55 pm
Avatar
on my way
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

This is a beautiful reminder of God's love for us..."For if God is for us, then who can be against us?" Although very, vrey difficult at time, as I am at this time, going through what feels like hell, in regard to my 17 yr. old son. I hang on to and know that God is in this, even though everything seems so dark and hopeless at this time. I really believe that I would have been dead a long time ago, if I did not have Jesus by my side and leading me.

He is always there for you codep, ALWAYS. He raises us up to be more than we can be...

June 8, 2005
12:51 am
Avatar
ladyvirgo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Dropping in to say that I have been off air for a week or so... and lost the thread of the Thread!

I hope that the faith that seems lost will be there again when you emerge from the dark night.

This may well be a right of passage for you..... If you could just rise above the scene, like an eagle, and look way down with those sharp eyes, maybe you could see the whole picture and your part in it!

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
26
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110924
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38537
Posts: 714209
Newest Members:
delight1080, laticia1, Corties, patrickstayes, kevinkovalsky, izzy39
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer