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Lost, and all alone
September 4, 1999
9:45 pm
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Jay
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September 30, 2010
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I am a twenty one year old young woman, and all my life, I have made bad choices, and put my self in situations that I shouldn't of been in. I have lost all respect for myself and from others. I started stripping a couple of monthes ago, I thought by doing this it would fill something in my life that was missing for a long time. I met a man there that was working as a DJ. We started dating, and feelings became involved, and he decided that he couldn't see a dancer, so I left to be with him. He was the best thing that has ever happend to me. While dancing I lost the relationship with my family, because they didn't understand why I would do this to myself. I was trapped in a deep dark cave all alone. I also lost my best friend, I was so busy making money and thinking of myself, I couldn't be around anyone living in a normal life, because I was so messed up. My relationship with that man had it's up and downs. But once again in my life I messed up. I did some things that will haunt me for the rest of my life. Michael asked me to marry him and I was so happy, because I thought my life was going to be normal for once, but by doing that mistake, I lost him. Now I lost myself. I feel like I just want to hide and to never come out, but also I feel this is a new start for me to get help and to be the real person that is hidden deep down inside of me. I hope by doing this All my loved ones including Michael will return into my life, and get to know the new and improved me. But I feel so lost and all alone for right now, but maybe I do need to be alone to get to know my true self.Jay

September 7, 1999
1:08 am
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J. C.
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September 24, 2010
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Jay,

You need to develop a good sense of yourself. Think of all the things that make you feel good. Think of all the things you enjoy doing. Try to think of all these things without other people involved. If you were to buy yourself a gift what would it be? Do you feel you deserve it? why or why not? You don't have to answer these questions to me. Just try to figure out what you really want and need. You don't want to feel down on yourself, or you wouldn't be here. Surely, losing your friends and family wasn't all your fault. It takes two to tango. Think of your rights as a human being. Don't just lick your wounds and walk away with your tail between your legs shamefully. sure you made mistakes...who hasn't. chin up, shoulders back, and show off your intelligence. okay, easier said than done. It's what you want, though isn't is? There is a lot of stuff on these threads about self esteem and codependency that I'm sure you could benefit from. Check it out. It really helps to get it all out of your system.

~JC

September 7, 1999
4:48 pm
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JC. Well said.

Jay.All the best Jay. One door closes and another opens.

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