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5:06 pm
September 27, 2010
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Sending you some balm for your heart. How I wish I could take the hurting away.
andii
6:06 pm
September 24, 2010
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Oh andii thank you. your so sweet to do this. unfortunately no one can take away anothers' pain. its something we have to .. experience? is that th right word? i just want to be able to override my own pain to be there for her. it just hurts so much to think about her suffering. shes' the only mother i ever knew n she is so good to me n i dont want to lose her n i dont want her to hurt. i domt know whats worse. hearing that someone you love died suddenly. never seeing him again. or knowing that someone you love will die very soon n having to see there pain n fear. i know that i need to focus on her but i domt want to do that n sacrifice my own emotions.
6:37 am
September 27, 2010
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Lillabit, what's going on? I'm trying to piece it together...what I get is that your stepmom (?) has been diagnosed with something not good, with a terminal illness(?)
Lillabit, what do yu mean by sacrifice your own emotions?
hugs to you
andii
10:44 am
September 24, 2010
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andi my stepmom has cancer. prognosis not good. shes on chemo clinical trial and the doctors make no promises. Its so sad to hear her voice. she sounds like a little girl when she talks. i womt post spacific details, thats her personal business. what i mean is that i have been trying so hard to b strong for her n its be coming a habit to push my emotions to the side. such a habit im doing it when it would be ok for me to cry. or whatever. feel my feelings. she's been so good to me n she didnt have to be. she could have been a nightmare to me. some moms. like my husbands' ... arent even nice to their own kids. i hate to see her in pain or scared n i hate to think of life without her in it. dad is devastated. i have to run now. im' visiting a new church today. i hope you have a great day. its pretty today were i live... i hope it is where you are too...
2:48 pm
September 27, 2010
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It is pretty where I live lillabit. It's so green right now. I am so sorry to read about your stepmom. Lillabit, it's okay for you to cry, you're sad and understandably so. I wish I knew what to say.
Your biological mom, is she around?
(((Lillabit)))
12:51 pm
September 24, 2010
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(((Lillabit)))
Watching and waiting as someone suffers has to be one of the worst things to endure. It is. I went through it the last 2 yrs But the connection wasn't as positive as yours.
Hopefully you can duck the family dysfunction, focusing on your StepMoms needs while this plays out.
Be well!
6:13 pm
September 24, 2010
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andii and msg thank you.
6:57 pm
September 27, 2010
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How are things going for you today lillabit?
andii
12:05 pm
September 24, 2010
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andii things r going ok. thanks for asking. ive been busy at work cos i was sick yesterday n im' trying to get caught up. ive worked in turbo speed this am. came in early cos i have double th work. i think il'l have yesteday caught up by lunch if i skip it. maybe i wont have to double up so much tomorrow if i stay late. or come in early in the am. sometimes work saves me from thinkimg n i like that. ya know? somtimes i hate it like now cos i domt' feel good. my sinuses r killing me. thanks for asking bout me. thats nice of you.
6:26 pm
September 27, 2010
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Hi Lillabit
Best thin about work is that I don't have time to think about anything else, so I surely DO know what you mean!
You'd said somewhere I think that you were trying a new church, how did that turn out?
andii
1:26 pm
September 24, 2010
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andi hi. we went to the Presbyterian church Sunday. it wasnt' too much differnet then the one i go to in terms of worship. the people were ok. welcoming. i thimk it will be hard to know how the people are until iv'e gone a few times. I wantto try the Unitarian church next week. or the week after. I like there basic principals. to seek knowledge from all sources.... encurages to develop youre own theolgy. beleives in helping children ask n answer their own questions instead of telling them th answers. they say they have a
long proud history n heritage of teachimg tolerance. supporting freedom. practicign compassion. seeking justice. n using reason. sounds so good on paper. i just hope the comgregatoin is ok. not like that nest of vipers at my old church. im so trying to move away from people telling me what i can say n what i cant. i hope itll be a palce that people can talk bout diffent opinioins without conflict n people getting there feeligs hurt. we'll see.
12:32 am
September 27, 2010
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I've never been to a Presbyterian church. How do they differ from others? I've been to Unitarian- the people at unitarian churches fascinate me. They are free thinkers. or seem to be. I gave up on church. Just couldn't find a "home." "Nest of old vipers" that's funny. I sure hope you find a home Lillabit.
andii
2:33 pm
September 30, 2010
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I could see how the unitarian church could become the one world religion one day...
6:00 pm
September 27, 2010
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Oh i agree! If the muslims don't kill all us infidels first lol
6:01 pm
September 27, 2010
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Oh i agree! If the muslims don't kill all us infidels first lol
9:41 pm
September 24, 2010
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andii the church was almost the same except they took communion. sacrament. n they do it once a month. My church does it quarterly. i dont suppose it makes any difference. wow barefoot girl. i cant imagine one reiligion in the world. No one would ever agree!!!!!! too much ego about being right. lol. not gonna happen.
10:03 pm
September 24, 2010
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ok. my mil has been totally bugging me for th past week. my h's b-day is coming up n she wants me to decorate his grave. with her. first of all thats not th way i do thimgs but she doesm't care . she thinks i should show respect to him. the way she shows it. I told her i do things differently. i respect him but decoratign a grave isnt how i do it. but she doesnt care. aparetnly i dont have the right to my own opinion and ways. shes wanting to make a party of it have the whole family go out drop flowers and say a little over his stone then a lil get together later. she is blowing up my cell with calls n texts. they are doing this email thing. cc'ing each other about me. n forwarding them to me. i dont know why she needs me to be there. if she feels its the right thimg to do then why not do it? why does she need me to be there? does my being there make her really really right? i dont get it.
11:55 pm
September 27, 2010
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mil- mother in law- got it! that took me a few. Oh gosh Lillabit. I don't know that I could go decorate a grave. I don't know that I would consider going to a grave a celebration. I don't know that I would be able to do this for anybody.
This is a tough one!
did you mil and you have a good relationship? How are you responding to them?
andii
11:25 pm
September 27, 2010
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Hay u okay?
11:04 am
September 24, 2010
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andii. yes im doing ok. ive had a sick puppy. he almost died. taking care of him has taken all myu time. giving shots. medcine by eyedropper n tryimg to fix foods he cn eat. thanks for askimg about me. how have you been?
10:10 pm
September 27, 2010
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Oh Lillabit I hope your puppy will be okay....maybe put on "the doberman gang" on tv. I don't know if it's even on tv anymore, but my old Dobie used to love that show. No kidding. He'd sit up on the couch and watch it, periodically whine, growl, and howl at it. he really seemed to know what was going on. he was the sweetest dobie ever.
Keep me updated on your little one.
I'm doing good, work much of the time, it keeps my mind off things. My oldest child does, too (keep my mind of things). We're looking at bariatric surgery for her, this has been a long process and now it looks like it might actually happen. We were geared for the lap band but now we are looking at the sleeve, where they take out a part of your stomach. Turns out obesity is not a willpower thing. I went to a seminar with her where we learned that there is a part of our stomach that produces a hormone- I forget the name of it, that tells us we are hungry. Well in many obese people, this hormone can be produced at up to 10 times the normal levels. So what happens, is that they are hungry 24-7. Like starving. I know when I'm hungry I get cranky after an hour or so! Her blood work shows that she is about 9 times the normal level. I guess this is why peole like Oprah and Kirstie Alley can't keep weight off no matter what- very few people can maintain a normal weight for an extended period with this hormone running rampant through their bodies. Eventually, they gain the weight back. so surgery really is the only long term solution for obesity where this disorder in the stomach occurs- taking out that part of the stomach that generates this hormone.
She's a whale activist and I guess they just caught a sushi restaurant in SAnta Cruz (northern California) selling whale meat. They took a piece of the meat for genetic testing. Turned out to be a Sei whale, an endangered species. There are only 80,000 left on the planet. She is livid and storming around the house as I type. The federal government is involved. Now she is too (that can be scary lol). I admire her tenacity.
My thoughts are with you and your puppy lillabit.
andii
12:04 am
September 24, 2010
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Andii. hi im' sorry i didnt answer this. i didnt see it!! i found it to check on YOU. my puppy love is better. hes' back to his usual scrappy lil self. i had a rough 11 days with him. he got a bug of some kind. got the runs n his glucose n sodium levels were so low. he had 7 seizures in 14 hours. they sent medicine. valium. home with him. to stop the seizures. when i picked him up he was all loose n weak n it broke my heart. i had to give him shots in the muscle n antibiotics with an eyedropper thing, i had to feed him with syringes. one day i gave him babyfood then th next day i cleaned up green trots. poor lil guy. you know hes not a big dog. the dobie show might scare him. but he actually seems to watch Crank Yankers. He looks right at the screen n his little ears go up.
Did your daughter get her surgery yet? i know that it takes a lot of discipline to stick to that after- bariatric surgery diet. theirs some stuff you cant' eat. and you acnt eat as large of portions. no carbanation. i just love that kirstie alley. she's beautiful thin or not thin. shes so fabulous!!! Have you seen the advert for her new show? Life - lick it!!! its a shame people place so much emphasis on looks. but there is the health factor. obesity has higher risk for so many other things.... i hope it goes well for your girl.
i can't believe that. whale sushi. that's sick. but I wonder why noone cares about squid or octupus? octopi? cos thier not endangered? or cos their not pretty? lol sorry. j/k. sorry it took so long for me to see this.....
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