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Lets talk..Healing.and.Peace..
October 28, 2008
12:46 pm
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(((Healing))
thanks for the reply, I should have known you did something wonderful like your non-profit org, Bless your heart, what a very unselfish task you perform. You seem to have a wonderful outlook on life and in reading your responces to other posts you are so caring and wise, way beyond your years. Hope everything continues to go well in your life, your a sweetheart and you and your family deserve only the best..as everyone does.
Love in recovery, Peace4all

October 28, 2008
2:41 pm
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Peace4all,

Thank you... however really without the adversity in my life, I don't think I would have ever gotten to the point of healing and growing that I am at now. So, as much as I would like to take the credit... lol I can't.. it is our higher power that has given me the wisdom I've gained so far in life..and I truly feel there is so much more to learn, which is why I enjoy so much talking to you. I do believe that everything happens for a reason, and that God puts people in our path to teach us more, and I truly believe you are one of those teachers put in the path of my life.

You truly are a kind lady with such a caring heart, with the adversity that you have had in your life, I know you have lot's of wisdom too, I would guess much more then I have at this point in my life.

The funny thing is, the more we learn, and are given lesson's in life, the more wisdom we gain but then we can't make any excuses when we mess up because most of the time we knew it was wrong or a mistake... so playing innocent or ignorant in some situations just don't cut it anymore.

As for the work I do, I don't really consider it work, it is something that I enjoy doing. There are times when I don't understand why chidren get such horrible deceases, or why they have to die at such a young age but there are also times that I feel so blessed to be part of their life. The not being able to understand the "Why's", is something that I have come to believe I don't and won't have those answers, and I can only trust " Do not lean on your understanding but lean on me".

Thank you for being there for me,
Peace

October 29, 2008
12:55 am
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(((Healing)))

You are such a refreshing lady, I also believe that certain people are put in our lives to teach us and when we open ourselves up to the lessons, well we just get better and better. In my lifetime I have had many adversities as many have, but it is in those that we learn, I once read that recovery is not about how hard our lives had been but what we can do to help others get thru there problems and help them to understand that just as you said, our Higher Power is always there leading us, if only we stop, listen and open our hearts to the answers. I sometimes hear or see things and say..I dont know the answers to that, but then I add that I am not suppose to know all the answers and if and when I do, then it will be time to go home :)to my reward......So with that said, allow me to quote something I once read........

One man says, all I ever wanted was a normal life,.The other man says, There is no normal life, just life so get on with it 🙂 Love in recovery to you. To Peace...from Peace...

October 31, 2008
10:18 am
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Peace4all,

How are you doing, haven't talked to you in a while... so wanted to say hello, hope all is going well.

Healing and peace

October 31, 2008
12:41 pm
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Healing..and..Peace

Top of the morning to you and yours.
I am fine thank you although I did slip a little last night, we all do at times. I was reading about how folks who have high credit card debt may get it reduced....Now I do understand that they may need help and if I am being a good christian woman I would say wonderful...However I found myself getting upset about it and I think it may come from my husband and I's not having a credit card therefor not charging things and in some cases..well, not doing without but certainly never being able to get those little special extras that those who charge are able to get..I am not sure why this bothered me so much, I found myself saying...what is my reward for being frugle and for only buying what we can afford with cash, I also found I was very angry about it and that is so stupid, not my business and certainly not my place to judge...So I think because we have started a bond of sorts I felt I could share on my feelings with you<>>
And once I was in the middle of this rant I realised I needed to do a gratitude list to center myself, and of course as usual it worked.........
I think the core of my feelings were the fact that so many times I wanted to buy gifts for my children or grand children and had only so much to work with and living on a budjet makes it difficult to spend at Christmas or birthdays...so many times their gifts are small and inexpensive but always from the heart..and they on the other hand charge big ticket items and I allow myself to feel less than, and I know better...Ok I am done,,lol...
thanks for listening to this old woman, I too slip at times, but with the Grace of God, I get up, dust myself off and keep going....Sorry for this rant, it doesnt happen often.
Love in recovery, Peace4all

October 31, 2008
3:50 pm
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Peace4all,

You are entitled to feel that way at times... but only some times, we just have to "check' ourselves sort to speak and call in our higher power to take that care away, just as you did! I'm like you we only have one credit card and that is only in case of an emergency if need be... and so far we haven't had to ever use it. It isn't used to purchase anything at all, and if the banks raise the rate on it they can have it back.. don't need it or want it that bad. Paying cash for what we need in life keeps us out of debt. If we don't have the money to puchase something then we don't need it that bad.

Since you mentioned at times wanting to buy more for your grand children and children. I want to share something with you. My mother in law now in her 90's, has always lived on a limited budget. However, she always sent birthday gifts and Christmas gifts to my children and honestly those gifts had no $$ value what so ever.. but those gifts meant more to my children then any other gifts. They looked forward to them when they were young, they even laugh now about how excited they would get, and even know they are older now and they completely understand that the little hot wheels were cars she got out of ceral boxes throughout the year and she would save them until their birthday's or Christmas. They still cherish those memories of her giving, and the thought all the more. She hated that sugar ceral and all but she sacraficed what she liked just to get those little gifts for them. If it wasn't a little car for the boys she would save the little girl gifts, plastic bracelet's or cute little rings. She would save the UPS code on differant items in order to get a free doll for my daughter's, or anything else that she could figure out in order to give them a gift. The thought of that kind of giving and being able to give, and her being able to do that for them means so much to my kids now.. When they were young it meant a lot but they didn't know how she got the gifts, and now that they are aware, and they are all adults now. They smile just knowing she cared so much and put so much thought into how she could give to them, and that is all that matteres...the "thought". My husband and I would try to tell her she didn't have to get them anything and they would understand but she always insisted and we could never take that away from her, and now I can say she taught a value to our children that no one will ever take away. Love and caring has it's way of showing up even without expensive gifts, or more... so try not to ever feel bad about what you can or can't give to your children or grand children, they love you for who you are not what you can or can not give in material things.. I know you already know all this!!! lol

If you ask me what I feel about people getting so far in debt that now the Govn is putting presure on the banks to lower their rates.. I say they got themselves in debt let them learn something from it, and they will eventually get out of debt.. but it isn't for me to say... or decide so whatever happens I guess happens, they might learn something either way. Anyway I hope they do.

Peace

October 31, 2008
10:54 pm
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(((Healing..and..Peace)))

Thank you, thank you, thank you 🙂
Your story about your MIL and her efforts to always give something to your children brought tears and a smile to my face...You are a dear sweet girl and I am so happy we have started a friendship, I always say that I can learn from others young or old, and today I learn from you, I think that the fact that I have been feeling a little low as of late is the reason for my stupid rant..I know better and I am truely blessed to have just what I need, if not extra..then thats ok because I have the Lord and his love. I believe as you do that God sends people into our lives for a reason and you my dear are a ray of sunshine in my life. Thanks so much again and I hope and pray that all is going well in your life...Love in recovery, Peace4all

October 31, 2008
11:24 pm
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Peace4all,

You my new friend are very welcome! I don't feel you were ranting in the least bit. You had feelings and I'm glad you shared them with me. Don't be shocked when one day I write something, and you think of something in your life that will end up helping me just as much.

Lots of love and Peace, Me

November 1, 2008
2:30 pm
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Peace4all,

I just got this in an email today, wanted to pass it on to you. Hope you enjoy.

WET PANTS

Come with me to a third grade classroom..... There is a nine-year-old kid sitting at his desk and all of a sudden, there is a puddle between his feet and the front of his pants are wet. He thinks his heart is going to stop because he cannot possibly imagine how this has happened. It's never happened before, and he knows that when the boys find out he will never hear the end of it. When the girls find out, they'll never speak to him again as long as he lives.

The boy believes his heart is going to stop; he puts his head down and prays this prayer, 'Dear God, this is an emergency! I need help now! Five minutes from now I'm dead meat.'

He looks up from his prayer and here comes the teacher with a look in her eyes that says he has been discovered.

As the teacher is walking toward him, a classmate named Susie is carrying a goldfish bowl that is filled with water. Susie trips in front of the teacher and inexplicably dumps the bowl of water in the boy's lap.

The boy pretends to be angry, but all the while is saying to himself, 'Thank you, Lord! Thank you, Lord!'

Now all of a sudden, instead of being the object of ridicule, the boy is the object of sympathy. The teacher rushes him downstairs and gives him gym shorts to put on while his pants dry out. All the other children are on their hands and knees cleaning up around his desk. The sympathy is wonderful. But as life would have it, the ridicule that should have been his has been transferred to someone else - Susie.

She tries to help, but they tell her to get out. You've done enough, you klutz!'

Finally, at the end of the day, as they are waiting for the bus, the boy walks over to Susie and whispers, 'You did that on purpose, didn't you?' Susie whispers back, 'I wet my pants once too.'

May God help us see the opportunities that are always around us to do good...

Remember.....Just going to church doesn't make you a Christian any more than standing in your garage makes you a car.

Each and everyone one of us is going through tough times right now, but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith.

When I read this, I thought of how many people truly are going through a rough time right now... and I wanted to share it with you because it really is cute, and God does answer our prayers... sometimes in way's we would never think possible too.

With Love and peace, me

November 1, 2008
7:41 pm
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Healing and Peace

What a cute story thanks for sharing it with me today. The message in it says volumes of what can be done by our belief in God, I think you have a very strong belief system and thats why you are able to help someome who otherwise usually does...but gets down like I did. You know sweetie, as I grow older and there are things that I am unable to do, due to poor health, I ponder many things...and when I am usually the positive one in meetings and chatrooms..I find it so comforting that our Higher Power has sent you to me...For that I thank you and Him.. Just what you needed > LOL..just kidding I am fine today and I also hope you are also. Hope you have a very blessed rest of the weekend..
Talk to you soon..your friend, Peace

November 2, 2008
10:55 am
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Peace4all,

I know your just kidding, you have been helpful to me too. I know you don't have to tell me, but I wanted to ask about your health.. I mean are you alright? Of course you don't have to tell me, I'm just concerned.

Your right about my faith, I do have strong faith.. It's not like I go to church but what happened to me years ago, in which I had previously shared with you, left me with no doubt what so ever. The knowing is all I need and I know with all my heart that we are not alone, that God is always with us, in all we do. Inside of us, something that I never understood until that happened to me.

Before it happened I believed what others told me, but now I know from my own experience, and have all the proof I need as an indidvidual. If I feel like it, or feel the timing is right, I share it, otherwise I just don't say anything because I feel only if the subject comes up is when God is trying to tell me to share it.

Hope all is well with you today, it is beautiful outside today where I live so I plan on getting outside and enjoying it.

Peace and love to you, Healing and Peace

November 2, 2008
11:30 pm
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Healing..and..Peace

Thanks for your concern, as for my health, well compared to many others I am blessed. I have many aches and pains and have alot of back pain everyday, I am not able to walk very far without trouble so, the last time we went to do our monthly shopping at Costco, I decided to give myself a break..lol..I got into one of those electric riders they have and what a joy it was..I was signing to hubby, are you having any fun, what you getting out of living ? I had heard that on TV once.. he laughed at me and said I am such a little girl.And I am at times. I also heard a song on an add for mammagrams..it said..when I grow up I want to be an old woman 🙂 I do believe that I am so blessed because I also believe that God has brought me thru so much and is still with me every moment of everyday. I am so thankful that the low point I felt last week was just one afternoon and not how I usually feel about life. You are a sweetheart and I am grateful that I have found you out here in the wide world of the internet. Everything does happen for a reason and God has a plan for each of us, and when I remember to always accept that then I am very comforted.
Have a blessed evening.
Love in recovery, Peace4all

November 3, 2008
2:20 pm
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Hi Peace,

I understand now on your health, not that it was my business but I was concerned.....those back problems can be so depilating. I know so many people with back problems and the pain they've told me about hurting all the way down their legs and stuff, I don't know how they manage it at times. Next time you go to costco have your husband get one of those electric riders and you two can play basketball into the baskets in front of them.. could be even more fun. You may get into trouble though!!!

Hope your having a good day, and will talk to you soon, Peace

November 4, 2008
3:10 am
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Healing..and..Peace

Your so cute, the time before last I did convince my hubby to ride in one and we were able to go up and down all of the isles sp? something we had not ever done, and it was great
No we did not play basketball.LOL
Thanks for the smile and I hope you, your family and your son are doing well.God is good and does work miracles in his time................
Love to you and yours, Peace4all

November 6, 2008
11:59 am
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(((((((Healing & Peace)))))))
Hi there, how are you doing, haven't talked for awhile. How is your son doing with his program and how is the rest of the family holding up. I have not been on here much lately so I have missed talking with you
I hope your in a good place and everything is flowing nicely for you. I had the pleasure of talking with my daughter and grand-daughter the other nite. It was a blessing because I had set boundries with my daughter and we had not spoken in many months, which is never easy for me, But God is good and He answers prayers. She and I had a nice conversation and she seemed to be sober, another blessing. You know Peace, sometimes life can seem harder than it has to be and when it does, we know the answer...Letting it go and giving it to God is always the right answer....So, I let her go and said what I meant, did not say it mean, and it took awhile for her to come around, But she did, and thats all that matters....We do love our children so much and all we ever want for them is to be..Happy, Healthy, and well..and I might add that sober is nice
if its in HP's plan.
So, thats my update, now its your turn, hope to hear from you soon..
Love in recovery, Peace4all
Blessings being sent your way..

November 6, 2008
4:50 pm
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(((((( Peace4all)))))))

I too have been pretty busy, haven't been on too much. My update is this, my son seems to be doing well in his program, still calling, still going to meetings, anyway that's what he is telling me but the one thing I know from the past is when he stops calling is when he isn't working the program. Now another up date, I was talking to my nephew (my sister's son) and he had just gotten home and there was a bails bond notice on his door, requesting him to call the office that the named (my sister) was going to find out what her bail is today. So obviously he didn't understand so I told him I would look her name up locally where he lives and find out if she had been arrested. Of course she had been, and is still in jail. The problem which I know is not mine is that because she is an alcoholic she will start to go through withdrawls almost right away because of the amount she consumes daily. So I am concerned for her health... Her mental condition is pretty much gone, and a while back I tried to file an ex parti with teh courts and the judge denied it saying there was no evidence that she can become violient, and that she was not at risk to herself or others.. She was arrested for battery... I wonder it he would believe me now. I know this is all her reconvery and all, but is there a time when we have to step in and court order a mental evaluation?

Thank you so much for writing to me today... you must have known I was down about her... Lot's of Love Peace

November 6, 2008
11:56 pm
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(((((Peace))))

Those are cyber hugs for you today. I am so sorry to hear that your sister is in jail and that you and her son have to feel this. I am also sorry that she has to go thru this, however, this may be her bottom and maybe God's way of sending her a message, I am not sure if when in jail they are given anything for the withdrawls or if they are left to go it alone. I understand that you know it is her recovery, but I also understand your wanting to do something..anything, if it can or will help her. The only thing I do know is this...she is a child of God just as you and I are and he does have a plan for her, just as he has a plan for your son. The very best thing you can do is pray and see if you can assist your nephew in anyway. As for your sister, please remember she is an alcoholic and she must reach out for help on her own or it wont do her any good. When my son was in jail I called and asked if someone from AA or NA would or could go see him and they said...we go to the jails, but we only visit an inmate when THEY ask for us...So there it is, sweetie, hard as it is on everyone concerned....They must ask for the help. I believe in miracles and I know you do also..so maybe one is about to happen with your sister this time. Please whatever you or the family do, dont bail her out....she must learn there are consqenses to her actions or she will just keep doing them over and over. I hope you do not think me heartless, I am not but this is what I believe to be true.
Love to you and may you find some peace and serenity as you go thru this, again I am so very sorry this is happening. Love from Peace to Peace

November 7, 2008
7:10 am
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Peace4all,

Yes, I know your correct on all that you said... I would never ever bail her out. As a matter of fact, I begged her ex b/f not to bail her out too, and her son will not except the collect charges from the jail... She has been in jail lot's of times years ago, before she was so dependant on drinking....more for drugs, and related drug charges then. So he agrees and knows there is no bailing her out.. I feel terrible for her son, and for her daughter whom is 15, of course she wants her mother. She is holding onto so much anger, and pain, and she's starting to act out.

I've tried to talk to her and see if I could get her to go to alateen meetings, or to talk to a therapist but she says NO flat out.. and that she trid it before... Which isn't true, she went to one meeting when she was 11, and talked to the school counslor one time. She told me that no one understands how she feels, and no one understands because they aren't her. When she said all of this she was staying with me for some time during the summer, and my youngest daughter, so along with me talking to her, a couple of my daughters friends tried also tried to talk to her. Because of the comment that no one understands that she expressed was in such an angry tone to my daughter and her two friends. They sincerly tried to offer compassion, and tried to talk to her. One of the friends had lost her father due to a bad liver from drinking and a medical error as well, and the other one's mother dropped her off at a birthday party when she was 5, and never returned for her, and she was a drug addict. So those two girls 18 now, know exactly how she feels. Possibly even more so because their parents died. It is so difficult to try to even talk to her at this point because it is like she has closed the doors to anyone getting close to her and I love her like any Aunt would love their nieces and nephews, so it hurts to see her in so much pain... I know she misses her mother, as she completely walked out of her life three years ago....it's truly so sad she really doesn't even know her mother sober... she has put up a wall to protect herself now and she won't allow anyone to be close to her.

My niece called me a few months back which was when I attempted to file an ex parti on my sister for a mental and medical evaluation with the courts to try to get her some medical attention as a homeless person, but the judge denied it.. saying there was no evidence that she needed mental help or that she becomes aggressive without ever granting the county to do a mobil team evaluation, which they will do for a homeless person in the area she hangs around in. I truly only did that because my niece had called me one evening and started yelling and asking, why don't I do anything to help her mother, and that she knew I could, and that I had the money to put her into a re-hab and all... I wasn't angry at her for expressing this kind of anger towards me, or calling me, as I understand her concern, and wanting her mother to get help. I felt so bad for her (my niece) that I tried to do the ex parti..now she thinks I don't care about my sister, or her because the judge denied it... she said I didn't do enough to help her mother. I know all of her words are out of anger, frustration and love for her mother. I wish, I could get her to go to meetings or into talk to someone. Her father is a doctor and he refuses to offer any kind of help to his daughter, she has been living with my sister's ex bf since she was 3 years old.. because her father could careless what happens to her or my nephew. So as a codependant and being an Aunt that loves those two kids, I offer my love to them, and listen to them whenever they call me. I keep in touch with both of them on a regular basis so they know I'm here for them..and that's all I can do other then pray that God keeps them both safe and that they can heal from this terrible addiction that has caused so much pain in their lifes as well. My nephew does understand there is nothing we can do other then pray, but my niece just doesn't want to hear anything at all. She thinks we all don't care about her mother.

Addiction and dependancy truly does have a effect on the entire family, and they are part of my family. I will continue to pray for them and continue going to the meetings for me. I missed you on the online meeting last night.. it was the first time I actually was able to sit in on the online meeting.. I asked if "Grannie" had been on last night.. and they all said "you mean our Grannie" how do you know her...so I let them know from another board...I thought it was cute.

I hope you are doing well, and will talk to you soon, Peace and Love, Healing and Peace

November 7, 2008
10:46 am
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(((((Sweetie))))))))

I am so sad to hear that your entire family is hurting so much, and I do so understand. My family is very broken as well and all I can do is try to heal myself so I may be of help to them.."Let it begin with me"
You know Healing I also understand how helpless it can make you feel at times, however, we are of the fortunate one's because we do believe in God and his Power to heal and the power of prayer. Have you said if your mom is still here with us? if so, then she must be hurting very badly, as you know what this can do to a parent. Your niece is very angry and it is understandable, I know you wish you could wave a magic wand over her and just make it go away, sadly, she will more than likely act out as she gets older, if she has not done so yet. All you can do besides praying is continue to let her know how much you love her and care for her,and continue to let her know how much you love your sister (her mom) but also let her know that even if you had the money to send her mom to rehab, her mom must want to quit..and if she forced into one than she could check herself right out. I do have one thought, maybe a suggestion if I may, may or may not work..but worth a shot..here goes..When my son was in jail I knew what his core problem was so I prayed he would get into a rehab, we could not afford one so I prayed that the judge would sent him to one..court ordered....I also found out who his court appointed attorney was and call her..and said that I was praying for my son to be sent to a rehab...that the drugs were not his only problem, as in most cases, only the excsape of deeper problems. Well, the first time , no dice, the judge sent him to jail for 3 months and ordered his rerestatution payments and probation and all the other stuff. Now time went bye and he was out and saying he was going to meetings..well I as you do know from a person's speak if they are in the program, and he was hit and miss at best. So, I knew he would get testing and he would fail...now all this time I was on an on-going prayer vigel for him to be sent back before a judge..and it did happen and my prayers were finally answered. And he was sent to a rehab that is a state funded one and again I thought that he would get it..so to speak..
he was ordered there for 6 months over his b-day and Christmes of that year. When he (graduated) from this place I rode the train down.aching back and all to see my son, and when I did, I knew he had made some changes, but I also knew he had not gotten it. He was still cocky and full of himself,still angry, it was still everyone's fault.. not humble and loving, and I knew that the miracle still had some work to be done. OK now that I have written a whole book here..heehee...this is what i say.....God had a plan for my son..God has a plan for your sister, and for all of us..His will be done and in his time. My son now is such a joy to be around and to talk to, but it took time and as with my own sister, sadly as the AA BigBook says some don't make it. All I can say is if it is meant to be it will be, keep praying and keep believing in miracles..know I am concerned and you are in my prayers....Love in recovery.
Peace4all.....aka..Grammie

November 7, 2008
2:35 pm
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Peace,

Thank you again, I just got home from a nice day on the ocean so I feel refreshed... I'm going to look up the Jail's chaplin online, and request that he or she stop by and pray with my sister. I will continue to pray.. I'm trying realy hard to be strong for my neice because I know she needs me right now. As to my Mom, she is still around... she is a couple years older then you, and as you know, I know and every other parent out there knows.. it is so difficult on the parents. My mother and father are doing well through all of it.. but remember it's been 32 years since my sister actually started using... However, my sister can con our Mom so easily.. she's done it over and over again. My mother is learning to not answer the phone, when she see's unknown numbers come up, and she knows not to answer it...but my sister will get very persistant to the point my mom will give in.. I've tried to explain to my parents that if there was an emergency during the day, that they would see a hospital name or a emergency responder's such as sherriff, or ambulance.. and they don't need to keep their ringer on in the middle of the night because they wouldn't be able to save someone anyway so all else can wait until the morning... I feel the only time anyone can help in the middle of the night would be if someone needed a blood transfussion so there is no point in them laying awake at night worrying about if they are going to get a call or not.

I know easier said then done sometimes but I do it, and I started doing it years ago when I let go of my sister's addiction.. and wanted some peace in my life. When I got home today, my sister evidently has been trying to get ahold of me too, because there were four collect calls from the correction inst.. on my answering machine.... I feel for her pain and all but you know and I know it we have to take care of ourselves... I'm so glad to hear about your daughter and grand daughter calling, and that you shared the story about your son... I agree with you there is always hope but some just don't make it as the big book says.

So strange and kind of funny how they all get that attitude you descibed when talking about your son's past... they all get it... don't they.. blame others, angry, cocky, and talking like they know it all.

I do and will keep believing in miracles no one can ever take that away.. that's one thing I can say for sure without any doubt what so ever... will talk to you soon.

Love Healing and Peace

November 7, 2008
5:13 pm
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Healing.. and peace
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PS.. I mean I do pray...NOT I know it all...lol

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