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Lets talk..Healing.and.Peace..
October 23, 2008
4:24 pm
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Hi there...Healing and peace,
Welcome to the Liberation Brew side of this site. This is the place where we can say things like God and Higher Power and Blessings to you and your family....
Now back to the question you asked.....In Alanon we do not give advice, however, when asked for a suggestion we can respond..so here goes........I think if it were me with your question of weather to talk with your friend the doctor, this is what I suggest to you. First of all we have a saying in alanon, "say what you mean, mean what you say, just dont say it mean..":) So I would just let my friend know that you had been overwhelmed lately because of the fact that your son had addmited he had a drug problem, and it has taken you awhile to accept the fact that he is sick. I would also be sure to let him know that your son is in recovery and is working the 12 steps and that "You" have started to attend alanon in order to better deal with this problem. I am sure your friend has heard of AA and NA and Alanon and the 12 steps, and once you let him know that this is all still very new to you and you are just trying to take it one day at a time...he will understand. If anyone still wants to offer advice, I would simply say, thank you for your concern, but I think I am going to work this program for now and see if it helps me
I am honored that you asked me for advice, in the programs of AA, NA, Coda, ACOA, we try to give back what has been given to us. The joy of acceptance, forgiveness, peace and Serenity are priceless gifts, and I pray that you too may find these gifts. Blessings to you and your son and your entire family.
Love in recovery, Peace4all

October 23, 2008
4:56 pm
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Peace4all,

Thank you so much, and the saying
"say what you mean, mean what you say, and don't say it mean" is the best suggestion I could ask for.. I heard it, and understand it, and will tell him what I mean when he starts to tell me how, why, and when.. I will let him know I mean it in the most kind way, that his advise and help in this situation isn't something that he can change, or help me with other then listen to me when I'm down, or give me words of encouragement but don't tell me how, why, or when. As thoughtful as he can be, and all his good intentions, he just doesn't understand. Which I will also tell him, in a nice way.

Thank you so much, I almost signed my real name just because you are so real! Peace

October 23, 2008
5:03 pm
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LOL.. I just read your other post too.. wasn't sure how to contact you on this new page so will stick to this one... so we don't have to jump back and forth.

Yes there is some embarressment, but I don't care who knows, or any of that.. it's just there. I understand what your saying that it isn't anything I did, and I have nothing to be ashamed of, but that's not an issue with the Doc friend. I've never hid anything from him, he has seen me when I should have been embarressed but wasn't.. lol does that makes sense. Maybe it is embarressment that I'm down, and I'm not the strong women he thought I was... I don't know. I know I hate to let other people know I feel pain in my heart. Because I will cry, if someone see's it, so it is sometimes easier to put on a front?? Does any of this make any sense to you?

Peace

October 23, 2008
5:10 pm
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Healing...and..Peace
LOL on the almost signing your own name..teehee.. Anyway, I am so very grateful that I could help you today, that is what recovery is all about..listening and letting people share there feelings. It helps so much to just talk about it and our feelings with no one saying things like, well if it were me..
I hope you continue to share here and that you continue to attend the meetings, sometimes things dont get better right away but as we journey into our own recovery, we get better with a better understanding. It didnt happen overnight and it will take time for you, your family and your boy to heal..however, miracles are happening everyday.
Love in recovery, a very real lady.:)
Peace4all

October 23, 2008
5:25 pm
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Healing

we cross posted and you are right we will stay here....I do understand when you say that it hurts in your heart, I too have always been the strong one in my family..but this one hit me hard. I think I was not ready for it at this age, I was already 65 when this happened, and i made myself sick over it, I would say things to my hubby like. I'm to old for this shit..sorry about the languge .but that is like saying Now isnt a good time to die, its christmas..lol..
.what i mean is it is never a great time to find out our children are in pain and struggling. And the hardest part is no matter what age our adult children are, they are always our
babies. However, it can get better and if you understand nothing else, understand this, we are powerless over other people, we can only have faith and Let them go, turn them over to God. OK enough out of me for awhile i am going to take my nap, thats what babies and old people do,lol, talk to you later. Stay strong you can do this trust me, many have come before you and many will come after. Then one day you will be offering help to someone who is new in the program 🙂 Blessings to u
Peace

October 23, 2008
5:34 pm
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Peace4all..

All I can say right now, is thank you from the bottom of my heart.. I've been trying so hard to do the right thing for me, so that my son can do the right thing for him in his time frame and on his own terms.

My family is all working on this, and as much as I would love to help my son, I would like to help my the rest of my children dealing with the pain they feel by their brother's addiction and my husband too, but just like my son, it has to be on their terms and when they are ready.

Then I read what I wrote, and yeah I cried a bit.. the reality of it is that I don't want people to worry about me, to be concerned about me, why would I feel embarressed for anyone to see I'm only human?

Peace

October 23, 2008
5:50 pm
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Healing

Bet you thought i was asleep..lol...
One more thing...We are all human and we break just like anyone can, never feel bad about that dear lady, it is all so new to your entire family and it will become your job to help them as you gain more insight into the disese of addiction. One of my favorite slogans is, "Let it begin with me" and another one is "Progress not perfection" so in finding you way you will become the example for your entire family. I know it is so hard at first but little by little you will begin to understand that even tho you love them, you must and i repeat Must focus on yourself if you are to win this fight. Read the books and attend the meetings, talk to alanons and you will find the peace you are looking for...ok now i'm done
love, peace 🙂

October 23, 2008
7:00 pm
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Peace,

No I didn't think you were asleep.. lol I had to run out and get a few things.. However, I want you to know I do believe in God too, and I'll tell I don't believe that it is a coincidence that you first posted on my post. God does work mircles, and your helping me understand is his way of teaching me through you.. Anyway that's what I believe and so far you have.

Thanks Peace

October 23, 2008
9:36 pm
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(((Healing)))

I am so happy to hear you say that you believe in God, you do know that he makes no mistakes..Everything happens for a reason and sometimes it just takes awhile to understand that reason. I am so humbled to hear you say that i have helped you, it gives me great pleasure to know that our conversations are helping you gain strength, and awareness. As you grow in this awarness you will better understand how to help your husband and your other children thru this difficult time. Stay strong, but cry when you need too, it releases alot and then move forward with your recovery..Love in recovery, Peace

October 23, 2008
9:57 pm
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Healing..and..peace

I have one more thing to add to our talk today. When we pray the Lords prayer we say.." Thy will be done" and in saying those words we are releasing our control and giving it to God. The next time your other children say they are sad or do not understand, let them know that God has a plan for everyone, for them and their brother. This too shall pass and also remember...God never leads you to..what he will not bring you thru. Have a wonderful evening...Talk to you tomorrow..Take care of yourself
Love in recovery, Peace4all

October 23, 2008
11:05 pm
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Peace,

Years ago, I had been in a accident and although it was horrible, and I went through so much medically,and emotionally that I wouldn't wish it on anyone. I can honestly say it was the best thing that has ever happened to me. The birth of my children, and getting married.. are all wonderful and were beautiful experiences in my life and they always will be.

However, the accident brought so much adversity that it broke me down to the point that I had no other choice but to lean on God, and even know I always had believed in God prior to the accident, my faith was tested. I intentionally did not reach out to God at all.

I out loud made the statement when I could not take anymore any longer.

"God, I thought you wouldn't give us more then we can take" what is wrong with you, can't you see and don't you know that I can't take anymore?"

As soon as I said this out of anger and fear. As soon as it came out of my mouth, a boyant feeling came over me that is so difficult to explain. It was a feeling of contentment, a peaceful feeling, one that I will never forget. It was the feeling and knowing that all was alright, and with that there was no more pain. The Doctor's described it as a phenomenon. It was also called an annointment, and a gift. I didn't bother telling but only one of my Doctors what had happened, and he told me that he had heard this before from two other patients in the 25 years that he had been a Doctor. He told me the other patients had told him almost an identical description of what had happened to them.

On top of this healing, and peace, came a complete knowledge of the medical condition caused by the accident, and I shared all of this with that same Doctor in detail. His reply was unless I had gone to medical school, and studied as much as he had during the 12 years he went to medical school that there would have been no way for me to even know where to find this knowledge on the medical condition. I'm not a Doctor, and I had not worked in the medical field until after this had happened to me. There was absolutely no possible way for me to have gained that knowledge other then from God.

I will never lose my faith, it is solid as a rock..it is rooted firmly in me. No one could ever tell me there is no such God.

I believe this will get me through anything, I am strong, and I know my son will be alright. I still hurt like anyone else, and I'm still learning but I know I can do this because of the experience I had been delt.

To Peace, from Peace.

October 24, 2008
12:01 pm
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(((Healing..and..Peace)))

Top of the morning to you dear lady. I want to thank you for sharing your beautiful experience,strength, and hope.You seem to know right where you are and what needs to be done...I doubt that after reading your story that there is much I can add other than....Amen and Amen......You have been there and back and you have a very strong hold on your faith, good for you!!!!! I believe that most people who have trouble with the 12 step programs are those who do not believe in God and his powerful healing, I do and have always believed HE heals and is the answer to all things..I love to say, He is the boss..The boss of everything......
I also have to agree with you about it not being a coincidence that your post caught me eye right away...and I felt lead to respond....And..another thing is that you and I seem to be same type thinkers...LOL..same kinds of things happening in our lives, I too had a younger sister who sadley lost her battle to drugs, mine passed and maybe yours did not, however the same kind of history of families. I also read and post on the Dali Lama site and I answered the same way you did on what is always constant
So, I think that we may have sent to help each other here in cyberspace...
You are doing just fine, bless your heart, and I dont think there is too much I can teach you other than Alanon. talk to you later, Love Peace

October 24, 2008
12:17 pm
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Peace,

There are always things to learn in life... I've learned more in the past few weeks then I had in a long time. We always have things to learn, as the BOSS has a lot to teach us. He works on each of us in his own time, and I believe he puts people in our paths to learn more.

Lol... so go ahead your here, I'm here start teaching..lol... You already have so much.

Thank you, Peace

October 24, 2008
12:19 pm
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(((Healing))))
Here's a little background on me so we can get to know each other with trust I am soon to be 69 am married to my 3rd hubby for 28 years,(they say the 3rd time is a charm) lol
the first 2 were alcoholics, poor choices on my part due to being raised in an alcoholic home....I have 4 grown children and 4 grandchildren, which the Lord choose to bless me with. I believe that God is in control of everything and that He know all and works thru us, I am a grateful member of Alanon, which helped save my sanity and brought me to a place of peace and serenity that I never thought I would have. I have always prayed and have been blessed with many miracles in my lifetime, the healings of myself and many of my family members, so there it is, I put myself out there to you with no hesitations, and I usually only do that in alanon rooms, so as we say at our meetings...take what you like and leave the rest<<
>>
Have a blessed day, love in recovery
Peace4all

October 24, 2008
12:33 pm
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Healing

If your around and want to chat in real time, here is an alanon room we can go to....but1purpose.org/
it is my home group and it is small with only meetings on the weekends
i will go get another cup of coffee and go sign in there, see you there if you want :-)Peace
btw...I am grammie there

October 24, 2008
12:41 pm
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Peace,

Your funny to with a great sence of humor.. You forgot to put that in there!

I am 48, have been married to one man. We married when I was 17. Yes, I said 17 and were still married 30 years later, with five beautiful kids. My husband is a wonderful man, he is my best friend in my life. We waited for a few years to start a family as we were so young...but didn't waste too much time by the time I was 28, we had already had the five kids. My home life while was good, I mean really good, my brother is a recovering alcoholic, and my sister is both a drug addict and alcoholic. The drugs have not taken her life, but her health is terrible, her mind is damaged, and she is lost. I don't know where she is physically but I do in my heart. She started using when I was 14 and she was 13.... so we were always close as young children.

My faith has kept me safe, my faith has brought me to where I am now. I started the 12 steps years ago, when I was ready to let go of my sister and put her in God's hands. The rest of it I shared with you, and is why I'm stronger now then I ever have been.

It's funny that you wrote take what you like and leave the rest.. because if you read on of my post on a another thread I said.. I've learned how to "take what I need, and ignore the rest".... even laugh at it.

Your friend, Peace and Healing

October 24, 2008
12:54 pm
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Hello new friend
I am a funny lady and it is funny to me that that comes thru in my postings. My humor has brought me thru many years as well as my strong faith in God...so we are alot alike
when i read your postings i could tell you had had some alanon in you, that is great, it sure does help....
right now i am going to go to chat in but1purpose.org....the home page will come up and all u need to do is click on enter chatroom, no one is there right now but me....c u over there 🙂
peace

October 24, 2008
3:29 pm
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Healing & peace

Isn't it funny that we would both chose the same name for our nics, I am sure there is something to that...
Here is a little lesson in our journey of recovery, when we love someone and they are in the throws of addiction we can either continue to think of them as our babies, husbands, wifes, sisters ot brothers or whatever...It is in realizing that they have a higher power just as we do that we are able to step back and let God do his work on them. When it first came to my attention that my son was in trouble, I thought about it morning, noon and night, I would let go and give him over to God..But then I would take it back and start to worry again, now this went on for sometime until, I remembered a quote I had heard or read.................
If your going to pray, dont worry....
If your going to worry, dont pray...
its as if we are slapping God in the face to me 🙂 I dont know when I decided that "I" had so much Power that I could fix things by worrying. But as time goes by and I continue to grow in faith and recovery..I do know one thing for sure..God is ever present and he will take care of it all in His time as you said. I have a daughter your age and she is beautiful and works in the medical field as you said you have and she is an alcoholic...this breaks my heart,but I know that God will speek to her in his time and she will be saved from her unhappy life. Now I do understand that this may not happen in my life time, but I have no doubt that it will happen...So, with that I say....Keep it simple...and as with everyone and everything...it is, One Day at a time..
Peace out 🙂

October 24, 2008
4:54 pm
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Peace,

There is a lot of the "same" in both of us.. as we have found out. I've been working most of the day today so haven't had a chance to go over to the chatroom.

I do have to go back and finnish the last of the work for today but will be on later this evening.

Your a sweeeet heart, and yes it was clear that you have a great sence of humor.... Don't we have to though. About your daughter, I understand, and agree it is exactly how I feel about my sister. My son is working the steps and in his own time frame or the bosses time frame maybe I should say. i don't want to get in his way, my son's or God's. Talk to you later on tonight.

Peace

October 25, 2008
10:19 pm
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Hi Healing and Peace

Haven't been on much today but wanted to say I am thinking of you. I hope your weekend is going well and I wanted to invite you to an online meeting tonight. Now I am not sure where you live and the time difference can be late if your in the mid-west or the east coast. Our meeting is at 9 pacific time and all you have to do is go to the site, click on chatroom and your at the meeting.......Hope you can make it...
http://www.but1purpose.org/
Love in recovery, Peace4all

if too late, we also have one on sunday at 7 pacific....

October 25, 2008
11:15 pm
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Hi Peace,

I haven't been on too much either today, other then working but I've been working from home, and business. So I've actually been in and out of the house all day, and evening too.

I'm ET so that would be 12 for me, think I'll most likely be in bed... lol... busy day but I went to the chatroom and saw the meeting is at 7p Sunday so that would be better for me 9p ET instead of 12!!!

Have to ask though when I went to the chat room it didn't have a place to sign in or anything.. or create a name?? I may have missed it but I couldn't figure it out. Let me know how it works if you can... is it just my screen name from my server? Which is alright, I don't mind but was wondering.

I had an interesting day.... I had a lot of young children for some reason today, and this women walks up and started talking to one of my volunteers.. then out of no where she rudely says very loud; "I hate Children". I was dumb founded.. the young 24 year old volunteer looked at me like "help".. I looked at this women and politely asked her to leave.. But my boldness really could have lost it with her rudeness. Ugg I just don't understand so much anger sometimes.

The volunteer was very upset by it and shocked as well. So I took a deep breath because it bothered me that this women not only said something really rude and in front of children, she also hurt the volunteers feelings as well. I tried to explain to the volunteer that the woman is obviously unhappy, troubled and has some issues.

Why do some people have so much anger, I just don't get it sometimes I try to look at it like well maybe they're hurting inside, or they have a mental illness but why do they take it out on people they don't even know.. it's not really a question to you.... just me thinking out loud... don't think there is an answer really.

Will talk to you later on, and hopefully I will be able to meet you in the chatroom tomorrow.

Peace

October 27, 2008
4:23 pm
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Healing..and..Peace

Hi Healing, I haven't been on much but wanted to say hello and hope you and your family are doing well today.
How was the weekend and how are your meetings going, I hope well. Anyway, we talked so much at first and I didn't want you to think I had forgotten you I hope you continue to be strong and know in your heart that all will be fine, in time. Love in recovery, Peace4all

October 27, 2008
7:48 pm
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Hi Peace4all,

I also was busy all weekend, but it was a good busy I have to ad. Meetings are good, and no I didn't think you had fogotten me... I trust all will be alright... Thanks Peace

October 28, 2008
11:08 am
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Healing
I have a question for you..you wrote that you had alot of young children on one day. Do you have a daycare or a shop ? I just wondered, not my business I know..lol...but it had me wondering. As for the chat room, when you get there you type on the bottem of the screen...../nick healing or you could type /nick peace it will not interfer with my name i am grammie there so thats the deal in most chatrooms. however to leave a space between nick and your name. and the backslash must be 1st. So hope this helps you and I continue to pray for your family and you to continue on this journey of recovery, Love,Peace4all

October 28, 2008
11:36 am
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Peace4all

No I don't have either a day care or shop.... I have a non-profit org., which offers a form of therapy to children and adults that are recovering from serious illness, and/or are terminally ill.

Thank you for the /nick information on the chatroom. I'm not too knowledgable on the chatrooms or anything because I've only gone into one and that was to get information on a certain pet illness that one of our animals had.

Peace

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