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Just wondering what real worth a man has besides his penis............
September 25, 2002
12:31 am
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ok syqq, i lost.

women want more personality from a man, as compared to the personality which men want.
can anyone tell me in simple words if i am wrong and why?
please no long answer, i've lost IQ and cant read long.
as short as you can make it plz.

oh well, i admit: either i was never able to see the complex things in a relationship, or i've become so degraded in the relationship area that i have no ability to see the complex things either.
in short, im short of being a vegetable who can only do certain things.

i concede defeat, there's too much to reply too. heh.
in spite of i am dumb and all that, thats what i see, arpund me atleast.

tell me, why is it, a female never opens the car door for a male?
i was talking to my roomie, he said (now hes not dumb like me, ok, so hw knows).
he said women want protocol and have so many demands and this and that.
hes in a relationship.
i see him constantly trying to make the girls luahg.

isnt it true? its soo obvious?
boys try to make girls laugh! its SO common, isnt it? (can anyone prove me wrong here).
its just the way of nature (unfair that it is)- males try to impress females, giving them all sorts of displays, while all that the female has to do is just BE there.

the male hens exotic displays, and the female just chooses them?
it goes on around in all of nature, not just hens.

and the proof we got in this thread, by racine saying:

"On the outside he is a great person and does everything possible to please me."
men try to impress and please women! see.
[i read racine's things cause i havent read her before]

please, im sorry, i couldnt read all your answers.
if anyone still cares, thanku.

(syqq, about wanting a true fema friends, i'd love to, but as again, ive lost intelligence to be in a relationship.)
i dont see the point of a relationship.
whats there to share anyway? life? ideas? blah blah. i can do that with anyone! why does it have to be someone special?
all this romance thing is not true. the bottom line is just sex. if there was no sex, would we have any "relationships"?.. no, we wouldnt, no no.

squeezles says:
"you should think about why it isn't 'bad' that men don't 'demand' more."

well i'll be. you want us to demand? please let things be simple, and let this world be simple. oh man. ch.

if i'm offending anyone, i will stop, ok? i didnt mean to fight.

September 25, 2002
1:09 am
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Squeezles
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Guest_guest...I'm not saying it's bad to 'demand'...I'm not even saying that women 'demand' themselves. Maybe women 'expect' more and by that I mean they may have a list of 'criteria' that they seek for in a potential mate and if the person they are looking at doesn't have it then they will often move on to the next person. Is that bad? Is it bad to strive for what you want? Is it bad that you won't risk unhappiness by 'settling' for something that you don't think is right or that you won't be happy with for the rest of your life? I don't think so. You say that men don't have as many 'criteria' or they aren't as 'demanding' or 'fussy'. Maybe so when men are young (teenagers; 20s) but I think the notion of 'going out and sleeping with as many people as possible in as short a space of time' gets old for most males (and the same attitude is true in some females) later on in life. The point is that at some stage in life men have criteria TOO. They may reach the point where they won't settle for less in life LATER than women; but that doesn't mean that the WON'T get there. People are different. You can't say that women are shorter than men. Whilst on AVERAGE this is true; EVERY women is not shorter than EVERY man - some women are shorter than some men, basically there is an overlap between the two sexes. It really is impossible to generalise people in such a broad sense.

My previous point was - instead of looking at why women have so many criteria when looking for a potential mate, maybe instead it should be questioning why men *typically* are less choosy when it comes to picking a mate. Why is that women do is bad; but what men do is good? (or vice versa really). The differences between males and females are just that; they are DIFFERENCES. Being different doesn't make one way good or bad, being different just makes them different.

And guest_guest, females do plenty of things to 'impress' males. So we don't typically open car doors, but do you think we like plucking our eyebrows, waxing our legs, wearing stockings and bras and high heels and putting on lipstick and makeup etc? Granted these things make us feel good about ourselves as well (if you look good then you feel good), but most of these rituals have been designed by men as a means of modeling women into what they (men) view as attractive. Women are essentially conditioned to believe that doing so makes you attractive and by being attractive you will appeal to males; so essentially it is done for the benefit of males (don't get me wrong; I'm sure many females also do it for their own satisfaction too). I think you'll find that typically men have enjoyed having women that were dependent on them (getting back to your idea of men opening car doors for women). Remember the ancient Chinese practice of having women's feet bound since birth, the idea being that their growth will be stunted such that they couldn't walk properly and would they would therefore be dependent on males (or servents) to do EVERYTHING for them (even help them walk). I think you'll find that that plays into men's ego and makes them feel big and strong and good about themselves.

September 25, 2002
1:21 am
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D'oh! I kept getting my 'extremes' mixed up!

It should read: "Is it bad that you won't risk happiness by 'settling' for something that you don't think is right or that you won't be happy with for the rest of your life?"

And: "EVERY women is not shorter than EVERY man - some women are taller than some men"

September 25, 2002
10:26 am
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guest_guest if you could do that with anyone......why aren't you? "Why does it have to be special?" It doesn't have to be....but if you need and want it in your life...why not? You have a choice and it is yours, it's think blah blah blah and go on with life as it is or say okay I want and need a special relationship in my life. You have the choice to just get any woman or YOU choose who is good for you and who will do things to please you back. If you don't like the "taking" kind of woman, then meet the "giving" kind. Guest_guest it's all in what you need or don't need. You are not offending me at all. If you want to take the sex out of it and see what happens......then do that. To me though I want sex with a man I also laugh with, cry with, eat meals with, sleep with, pray with, and live with. It's just better that way FOR ME. Life is what you make it sometimes......atleast yours can be. If you are happy having these feelings on women and relationships and don't want a change, then why bother going into it at all? Do you understand that? But........I sense that you are not happy living this way and I am only here to help you come to your own views with some more added information on the subject. I do not want to change your mind........just add some things to think about.

September 25, 2002
1:34 pm
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guest - physiologically speaking men are the persuers. They persue. Like, in terms of sex. The little sperm swim frantically around trying to find the egg, who is complacently traveling slowly down the fallopian tubes into the uterus.

But it's also a socio-cultural thing. In the old days, women were a commodity to be bought and sold, from father to husband, or from pimp to john. So, to be a "gentleman" - you treat your property gently. Women were cloistered, kept hidden from public view by large dresses, and when they were pregnant they were physically confied - hidden from the rest of the world for 7 months or so.

It's a relic from times past - women still want to be treated gently. My husband seems to derrive such joy out of being a gentleman.

And Squeezles is right - women do plenty to impress men. Makeup. PANTYHOSE (yuck), painful high heels, sexy clothes, we learn to cook ("the fastest way to a man's heart is through his stomach"), we have to keep house, be pregnant, give birth (you squeeze a watermelon out of an opening the size of a lemon), nurse children.

Maybe because you don't see the acrobatics women go through to impress men, you haven't internalized it. My husband sometimes watches me get ready for bed, or get ready for work, walk around with a green mask on my face and moisturizing gel around my eyes, painting my toenails and fingernails, and says "Jeez, I'm glad I don't have to do all that."

Hah.

September 26, 2002
9:13 pm
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good responses, will read in leisure (in a hurry now, work is piling, till monday. ahhh)

September 30, 2002
9:48 pm
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thanks squizzles, u said "is it bad for women to want more?"
and that you see that as a difference, not a bad or good quality.

welll. i'd say not wanting more is a better quality, why so, becuase
- if you want less, you can find satisfaction more easily
- if you want more, you put the other person in distress and tension, cause now they have to 'give' more.

but atleast u admit that women need more emotional support, i bet all would agree here.

how many times do we hear a girl talking to a boy about her problems? a lot many times.
about a boy talking to a girl about his problems? no.. she usually runs away from him.
the boy stays around, he probably does in hopes of getting some "fun".

the boy is ready to "rock" almost all the time. the girl is ready only if she has an emotional connection.

is it cause women rear children and so they have to give emotional support to their childs, they have to be emotionally sensitive to their infants needs?
that forms part of the survival gene, that women who were sensitive to their infants emotional needs, gave their infants better chances of survival.

yay for tez, who taught me this im if correct?

there you go girls, i solved it for you. so whats the treat gonna be? heh.

thanks syqq, you're more advanced than me. i find talking and being with people a problem, i mean i dont have much to talk about often.
and oh.. i'm not doing "it" cause i dont find any girl to do it with. girls want the emottional connection which im unable and unwilling to provide.

oh talking about support, has anyone ever seen a girl being behind a guy and giving him a hug from behind? its always the guy who's giving the hug, and shes receveing it.
fine then.. maybe the guy's joy is enough just to have her accept his hug.
or maybe its cause often, men are taller.

good point cici, yes.. why arent there any gentle "women"
its the man who has to be gentle always 🙁 boohoo.

oh im glad i dont have to do that too. haa. heh.

sorry for the late replies. i was just budy too much, plus my mind gets blocked and i cant think much. short replies please. replies longer than 5 lines will be charged a dollar extra per line. thankyou. just kidding. heh.. oops.

October 1, 2002
9:20 am
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(((((((guest_guest))))))))) I will also hug my husband when he gets home. I do see that alot too. Women need to be there for men more.......the way the man needs them to be and not how the women want to be there for them. Even with your views on women guest_guest.....I like you. I hear you. I even understand more now about the fact that men all around me have feelings too. I judged you...I now will judge me also. This is more than 5 lines! oops! Again guest_guest....I like you. I like your honesty. I bet you would be the perfect friend to someone.......even a ladie.

October 3, 2002
2:04 pm
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heh.. thanks syqq. there's a lady, i wish she starts to like me. shes older than me, but very nice. i hope my nervousness and desperation for sex doesnt get to her. i really dont know the usual male game, talking and listening to the girl, until she feels close and then she wants to do the stuff. for me, i dont need to know the person a lot, before i can trust them. but whose wrong, me or the rest of the guys? or women, no idea at all.
ur a nice lady too, ur hubby should be lucky to have you, i hope both you enjoy forever

October 3, 2002
2:48 pm
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I couldnt find nobody in my life at all had my beliefs at all even my mom christian, get married, have kids I havent met one christian man even my grandmothers a sick fake. Not one. my mother either. Cops either these are the worst Brent Zellers homosexuals child molesters since I turned 17 all I ever met. They force themselves biggest waist of time perverts all of them instable doing crazy stuff to kids not right at all. No morals at all no firm beliefs no respect even for children or others bodies none not ounce of it. My moms mom claims that her husband raped her anyway me and my brothers and sisters were product of rape anyway so they killed four of them her family a gang of them did. Molested all the kids told them they were famous movie stars on the TV Marilyn Monroe who they were kid call up the cops say she did it who they said they were this resulted in no solution. Fraud kept doing it. Cant represent yourself as a famous person if you aint.

October 7, 2002
11:45 pm
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Well like my bf's best friend said "Get a relationship; You get sex on tap then".

Guest if you're looking for someone just to have sex with there are usually plenty of options - go to a bar, a brothal or something. Some women are choosy; some aren't. If, however, you want sex AND a relationship - that's going to be more work because you get so much more. If you see that you can only have sex with someone if you put in all this work to have a 'relationship' and you don't want that, that's OK...you just need to change your focus and look in different places. If your sole focus when you meet a person is sex when there is not a prior understanding that it is going to be ONLY about sex then I can certainly see how most women would find that off putting. Maybe you're just not ready for sex? Focus on yourself a bit more. You seem unsure about what it is you really want.

October 12, 2002
2:48 am
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Sex seems to just screw things up.

It's when you really open yourself up to be hurt. SEX IS BAD..
Say no to penis hehehe

No but really, lust really gets in the way of real love.

October 12, 2002
2:49 am
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maybe waiting until the lust dies down, and the love is more prominant sex is good. But if having sex during lust, it just all falls apart

October 13, 2002
6:04 pm
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thanks well, i dont know what else to say, my mind is numb. hmm

October 15, 2002
4:17 pm
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Guest_guest.

"....my mind is numb. hmmm"

Birdie num... nums? 🙂

October 16, 2002
1:12 am
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heh.. yes.. i become numb when birdies talk to me.. is that what you meannnn. kidding.. i become numb every now and then, regardless of who im talking to.

ok so tez tell me, what do u think, will there come a time when the world will get rid of violent faiths. the event in bali. will this earth ever heal of these evils, dividing everyhing. what do u think.

October 16, 2002
4:57 pm
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Guest_guest.

When we all, both men and women, learn to parent well, then violence will disappear from the face of the earth.

However, to parent well, we will have to break the cycle of fear breeding more fear. This requires a constant effort to be patient, kind and compassionate in the face of humiliation and insult. Not an easy thing to do, eh!

Can the United States of America do that in response to September 11th?

Can Australia do that in response to the Bali horror?

None of us are innocent victims. When we can stop exploiting third world countries and help them - when we can stop ourselves from crying for retribution and justice - when we can respond with kindness and compassion - then we will have a chance of breaking the generational cycles of hatred and violence - but not before.

Can the United States of America do that in response to September 11th?

Can Australia do that in response to the Bali horror?

Christ emphatically said that we have to turn the other cheek not seven times but ...

But, what Christian nation ever followed Christ's teachings!!! We launched the crusades in direct contravention of the Christian dovctrine. WWI and WWII were fought between Christian nations. So why would we expect an Islamic nation to follow its own teachings. It isn't the founders of the religions that are at fault but the deluded humans who follow the dictates of their fear based emotions blindly.

Wisdom and compassion, when practiced together by all, will "heal of these evils". Will hell have to freeze over first? Let each of us first make peace between the warring phantoms within ourselves.

Can each and every American do that in response to September 11th?

Can each and every Australian do that in response to the Bali horror?

We cannot hide behind the excuse that it was our politicians and big business CEOs that have done all the damage in these exploited countries. We are all collectively responsible, if only because of our apathy and our sins of omissions rather than comissions.

Let it start with me!!!

October 18, 2002
6:21 pm
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peace and compassion, thats right tez, but coming from me, its like extracting gold from copper (cause im in the requried good mood THAT rarely).

for now, i have to do what i can, to try to expose the myths and lies and help to make people see. i know i cant, but maybe someone else with compassion will see what i have to say and say it in a better manner (this happens with me often).
i say good original things, but they dont have an effect unless someone will confidence says them.

it has to be both of them. we have to tell them that its lies and it doesnt make sense, and say it with compassion, or treat them nicely, maybe they'll learn.
difficult process but progress must go on.

October 18, 2002
7:08 pm
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Guest_guest.

"... for now, i have to do what i can, to try to expose the myths and lies and help to make people see."

What you "see" as truth, is what has gotten past your own 'filters' and has then been processed by the past conditioning of your mind. Your resulting 'reality' is therefore very subjective.

Do you not see that the perpetrators of Sept 11th lie somewhere between blood thirsty, evil 'terrorists' and galant, courageous 'freedom fighters' depending upon the above mentioned conditioning of the mind of the person perceiving the event.

Be careful of extrapolating your 'truth' into the realm of 'absolute truth'. Fundamentalist religions do exactly that and believe that they have the god given right to insist that everyone adopt their views or suffer the consequences. Do not fall for this same trap as have the jihad exponents.

You will lead a far happier life by realizing this. It makes 'being wrong', 'making mistakes', and 'not agreeing with the views of others' a lot more comfortable to live with.

October 18, 2002
7:12 pm
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Guest_guest.

Hey, matey... what's all this got to do with judging our worth by something else other than our dicks? 🙂

October 29, 2002
5:29 pm
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tez, i;m not forcing my beleifs on anyone. i just want to tell everyone that this is certainly not the truth. what is, no one knows. but i do know for sure, that these religions are not true.
ya, nothing to do with the dicks. heh.

i'm so spent. hadnt had time to come here in a long time. see you

October 29, 2002
7:32 pm
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Guest_guest.

You said, "tez, I'm not forcing my beliefs on anyone. "

Yes ... I fully realize that you never had that intention, matey.

My point was that believing our own perceptions of our external reality to be 'truth' can often times lead to inner conflict and unhappiness.

All of our perceptions are 'colored' by our past. Since our pasts vary from one individual to another, there are as many different realities as there are people on this earth.

What we tend to call 'real' is that which is held as a common perception. However, being a common perception in no way guarantees that a perception, view, opinion or belief is a true representation of reality. Dr Richard Alpert once said of the perceptions of his insane brother that they were just as valid as his own - just different. 🙂

Now when it comes down to fundamentalist religions, whatever the creed or color, the adherents all commonly hold that they possess absolute truth. This is the evil - the inability to concede that they might be deluded like the rest of us - including me!

November 1, 2002
2:36 pm
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ummm. i was saying that i am not forcing my beliefs on them (no on this group).
soo.. those religions need to be told "what you say is not right". what do i know? i only know that they are wrong.

November 1, 2002
3:54 pm
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Guest_guest.

You said, 'those religions need to be told "what you say is not right".'

What do you think their reaction would be to being told that by an "infidel"?

Have you ever tried to disabuse a Christian fundamentalist - even in a very tactful way? I have - many, many times. It used to be my Sunday hobby, wherein the Jehovahs, the Seventh Day Adventists and other evangelical sects made their regular evangelical calls on me. I enjoyed the stimulating exchanges that usually ended with them beating a hasty, frustrated and angry retreat because I questioned the veracity of both their beliefs and their scriptures. Now that, I live on acreage, I rarely even see them. Oh well ... .

Fundamentalists by definition believe in the absolute truth of their literal interpretations of the words contained in their particular versions of their scriptures. All reason flies out the window and they feel very threatened by any hint that they or their 'book' might be 'deluded' in any way, no matter how small.

Fear often breeds agression. The Al Queda movement must be very fearful indeed. They are not helped by confrontation. It only provokes more fear, more agression and even more violent responses as a consequence. WW3 is the inevitable result of a continuing escalation along these lines.

We need to find ways to reassure these people not justify and enhance their fears by attacking them. But I'm sure that your president would not agree with me. 🙂 China's Chairman Mao used to say that "political power comes out of the barrel of a gun". I think that your Mr Bush believes a similar thing. Mahatma Gandhi proved them both wrong.

Such is life.

November 1, 2002
9:53 pm
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tez, we cant be soft about it. they're wrong, its like beleiveing in a hitler, who thought its ok to kill anyone who doesnt beleive like them.

someone has to do this and i dont have the capacity to deal with them compassionately. i'm not mother teresa. maybe my message will be used by other more stable people. my life been like that. i say things that are wise, but i dont say it in the best way, and someone else repeats it in a better way.
in this case, i dont care, i want the message out, its natural for me to tell everyone about the story of how i got out of the hellhole, and what it is in reality.
soemone has to be there to stop them. gandhi or anyone else who was mild, could not deal with the extremists.
the message has to be firm, they have to be told, yes, they are wrong. well i could say more and more details but for security, i will not. maybe thats why i cant tell you what i wanna say in reality.

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