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Judgemental People who never let go of things...
December 12, 2010
12:00 am
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puptent
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Hi
OBO, part of my path towards recovery is letting go of the need to
help people even if they ask. I now realize that adults are capable
of managing their own lives, and now I am comfortable with my new
job of letting them.

December 13, 2010
12:00 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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Puptent... I am also trying to do the same and its hard
sometimes but I feel its very important to our recovery to let
people be who they are and learn on their own too!

Its like your this
nosey neighbor who has to know everyones business and you love to
tell them what to do with their property and life...

I come far too,
and I try very hard to stay there!

December 13, 2010
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puptent
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BFG,
I believe that a step towards recovery involves becoming capable of
developing & maintaining healthy & loving relationships.
The need to control & manipulate others will disappear as I
learn to trust those who are trustworthy.

December 13, 2010
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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Very
true, first we have to consider the source! HA!

December 13, 2010
12:00 am
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puptent
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BFG,
to me stepping away from codependency means working hard on our own
recovery, and letting others do the same.

December 13, 2010
12:00 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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Could
not agree more!

December 13, 2010
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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God
knows I have enough problems to deal with than to add others to
them!

December 13, 2010
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puptent
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BFG,
in order to experience serenity and growth I have to focus on
myself and my children.

January 31, 2011
4:50 pm
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LoveandLight
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BAREFOOTGIRL said:

How
do you deal with someone who holds a grudge and can not stop
finding out your fault and pointing them out to you all time? I
have someone in my life who acts like a child and constantly tells
me what I do wrong and why she does not like me…I think this has
alot more to do with her than with me, for the things she picks at
are from a very long time ago but she holds onto this anger and
brings things up that are so trivial and stupid… how long must I
suffer here in silence? I let go of my grievances pretty fast, i
always give the benefit of the doubt and am I quick to forgive,
maybe too soon, so why can't someone else do that for me
once???


 

Greetings BAREFOOTGIRL~
You bring forth an Excellent Question & I remember asking this of the Lord for I had a Man in my Life whom I Loved & still do Love but not in the same manner however I do pray for him to seek Guidance so Others (in a relationship with him) do not have to endure similar to what I did. Sadly our parting was not on the Greatest of terms- we walked in separate directions where he held his Grudge & I refused to crawl & beg saying I'm Sorry for something I Truly *felt* I was not entirely Responsible for. Yes… I did contribute something that seemed to be a Catalyst within him. While he & I dated, I *felt* in the Beginning our relationship was blossoming yet as time went on- what he was working through within that was not resolved leaked out in his Mannerisms- Personality- Attitude & so his closet door slowly opened & bones began flying out so to speak. I do take Accountability- Responsibility for my own actions & not listening to the signs that were present when I *felt* he was being competitive with me on a Spiritual Level & Intellectual one as well. What I *felt* he *tried to* make me *feel* was Inferior using Scripture to *Validate* his Words; use them as a Weapon- instead of a way to Help-Heal etc. That is what I Perceived with Written Words as Proof. Verbal viscerated in the *Worst* possible way.

We both were Writing Poetry & entering our Verses in the same Contests however there was no reason to be competitive & I *felt* he was reverting back to invoking All the Persons who ever crossed his path that *he felt* did him wrong- these Persons were resurrected as *Reason* for his Failures in Life. He spoke of his calling- but seemed to use that in a way as if possible *Entitlement*. I'm NOT Perfect by any means… I imagine I contributed in some way to his reactions but I was NOT going to be his *Excuse* for his *Failures* (he would call them). Anger he kept in his daily suitcase from what I Observed; carried it around with him… Sadly could not find Happiness- kept reliving *in what he could have been or could have done & with what he was Not doing now*. Such a Gifted Man- I relished his Talent- Admired his skills but could NOT continue to *endure* the Belittling Communication. I could not let the Guilt he worked to gouge me with… exsanguinate me.
I learned- had to be Empowered to Act… Anybody who tries to suppress my Serenity with barrel of Grudges or Anger filled bubbles that could pop at any time. They were & are NOT Welcomed to be in my Sacred space if at all possible. Negative Vibrations too toxic.
I do still treat with Respect but will NOT give them my stage to start their Drama. I do Forgive… not just for them but for me.

Couples I Believe should be Supportive of Each Other- working Together not tearing One Another apart or One clawing at the Other because he or she has Unresolved issues. Regarding *suffer in silence* … I don't Believe You have to *suffer* at all. Yes- Challenges can make us Stronger but to *suffer* Unnecessarily- You are of Priceless Worth- I would imagine deserve Better. Those who Care- Genuinely… I would think would Honor Your Words. *Benefit of the Doubt* I do give as well until the Person proves to leave No Doubt (they have to leave) Hope those who posted before me & what was shared helped in some way. Best Wishes! LaughBlessings~

 

Reason, Season, or Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime.
When you figure out which one it is,
you will know what to do for each person.

 

When someone is in your life for a REASON,
it is usually to meet a need you have expressed.
They have come to assist you through a difficulty;
to provide you with guidance and support;
to aid you physically, emotionally or spiritually.
They may seem like a godsend, and they are.
They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrongdoing on your part or at an inconvenient time,
this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end.
Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away.
Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realize is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled; their work is done.
The prayer you sent up has been answered and now it is time to move on.

Some people come into your life for a SEASON,
because your turn has come to share, grow or learn.
They bring you an experience of peace or make you laugh.
They may teach you something you have never done.
They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy.
Believe it. It is real. But only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons;
things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation.
Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person,
and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life.
It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

— Unknown

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