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JIGS NEEDS PRAYERS NOW PLEASE
June 20, 2006
3:32 am
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mamacinnamon
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Please lift up Jigs. She came on just a few minutes ago and said she was feeling bad. Then started showing signs of having more seizures. So far the last 5 times when the signs are there she has the seizures. She'll be typing just fine and then her typing makes no sense at all. That's the sign. She is scared folks. She's calling gramma now.

Thanks for the prayers. Our little angel needs them now.

June 20, 2006
4:15 am
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ok, mamacin. Prayers going up now.

June 20, 2006
4:35 am
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mamac,

I have debated over whether or not to voice my gut feelings, which may be so far from the truth. But I have had doubts about the authenticity of 'jigsaw'.

When her(?) name first appeared here on AAC, I remember reading that she was eleven years old, which would mean she must be twelve now. Yet her typing style ranges from that of a five year old to profoundity.

I read on one thread her cat is called Bo, yet on another when asked she said it's name was kitten.

I don't know any 11 year olds who would choose the nickname 'jigsaw', unless they were an adult inadveratntly using cryptics.

Am I the only one who believes that there is a chance, a slight chance that 'jigsaw' is someone addicted to the 'mothering'?

I almost can't believ that I am going to press send, but I am..

June 20, 2006
4:44 am
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I realise everyone here loves jigsaw, and that in doing so, many have been touched by the rainbow...in which case, whatever the reality that lies behind jigsaw is irrelevant, except perhaps for jigsaw.

If 'jigs' reads this, and is genuinely herself, then no apologies could ever make up for the words I have written here...please ignore them as the ramblings of a fool...

Jigsaw, continue to heal and overcome...and may you emerge from your situation with triumph and joy...

June 20, 2006
4:45 am
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...whoever you really are

June 20, 2006
8:43 am
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Juanita
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Jigs ~

Thoughts & prayers are with you ...
(((((((((((((((((( hugs )))))))))))))))))))

Juanita

Charlie ~

Even if you are correct, where is the harm in extending love & caring to someone who needs it?

If there is one thing this World could use more of, it is love....

June 20, 2006
10:26 am
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mamacinnamon
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Dearest Charlie:

No apologies are needed for posting the questions you have. I'll be glad to clear them up as much as possible.

Jigs was 10 when she came here 15 months ago, she had her very first birthday party here for number 11.

The cat (grown) she got was named something stupid, for lack of better word, well not stupid but definitely not a child's naming. I want to say Boregard but don't quote me on that. She had picked out the name Rainbow for her kitty before she got it so when she got a grown cat she gave him the name Bo. As time passed she changed it to kitty or kitten. Par for an 11 year old.

Jigsaw is the name she picked because her life just fell to pieces, and she had a puzzle out working it when she came here. She was told to come here by a friend at school. This friend's aunt told her if she ever needed someone to come here. Don't know the circumstances of the friend other than her name.

As for the differences in her wording. She talks from a 6 year old to an 11 year old to an adult because ... she was in the 4th grade; she had Bonita and I typing for her here several times so you get the adult mix into her words and there were times she asked us to make her words not look so "stupid" as she put it from embarrassment; and there are medical reasons for the differences in her wording going from 6 yr old to 11 yr old which would go along w/ the seizures, etc.

Charlie, you are not feeling/thinking anything that most of us have not felt ourselves in the very beginning. I will tell you that I did check her out and she does appear ligit. Also, I would personally think that a troll would get tired of the farse eventually and not stick around here for 16 months w/ contact daily; some days off and on all day long.

So, to close, I'll tell you what I said in the beginning 16 months ago. IF this child was put here by God for our help I will not turn my back on her. IF this child is a troll then, well, we'll have all had some really good practice for if and when a real case were to happen. Either way I am in for the long haul. My true head, guy, and heart feelings are that our little rainbow smile maker is genuine. I've sure had alot of blessings given me from knowing her true or false.

Charlie... thank you for voicing your opinions instead of sitting there in wonderment. Ask any time and if I can share then I will.

🙂

June 20, 2006
11:31 am
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sewunique
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Wasn't the aunt someone connected to AAc here and wanted to reamin anonomous of whom she was?

June 20, 2006
11:47 am
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sewunique
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My concern here is many. Mamacin you mentioned Jigs is allowed by you to read only the threads with her name on them and none others. This is so Jigs does not read any threads that are not "age appropriate" for her.

This thread has her name on it. Any discussion about Jigs here could be read by her.

a catch 22.

June 20, 2006
12:05 pm
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mamac,

Thank you for your response...

I extend my humility for my appalling lack of sensitivity. I have un-nerved myself by firstly allowing myself to yet again fall into my usual pattern of doubt and scepticism but mostly for posting it here..

As I wrote in the second post, it is irrelevant.

I didn't think it was the behaviour of a troll, because that is usually the action of someone who wants to hurt others...when clearly this is not the case here, far from.

I won't go into what I believed it to be...but I felt it could have been an adult, whose loneliness had become so overwhelming that this was a place to escape to, perhaps even taking experiences from his or her own life, and replaying them as though a child... I have no idea why I thought that..

I have never posted on a jigs thread in all the time I have been coming here myself, because I think even back then I had doubts, and so didn't feel able to truly speak from my heart.

My heart therefore is not as open as I would like it to be...this thread has taught me that much.

To all those who might have read this, and been offended, or perhaps affronted is a better word, by my gall...I have to say I am deeply sorry.

I have issues with paranoia and disbelief.

I also know that when I first found this site, I became addicted to the level of understanding I received, the communication stream of 'unknown' souls who actually cared...and it's all too easy to become overly-attached to the style of their written word..whether it be the affection, the mothering, or fathering, the warmth, the love...the friendship and flirtation...and to become attached to individuals here..I myself have done it.

I just hope that jigs can forgive me for allowing my own issues to cloud my eyes to an innocent rainbow...

~charlie~

June 20, 2006
12:11 pm
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sewunique
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Even if a new thread was started for discussion, Jigs could inadvertently read it. a catch 22

People are going to grieve this loss, real or not, because we greive over the loss of freindships, animals, inanimate objects. That is one reason I put out the grieving and Elisabeth Kubler Ross information out here. People are going to be hurt one way or the other; if duped, that hurts psycholgically big time. I have thought we could be part of some field study. But if I am wrong? Then I am sorry, I have done this both ways here and I feel we need to be concerned as Charlie says, about folks on the other side of the opinion who may be hurt for other reasons. It may be time to discuss this, Charlie, 15 months is a long time to be in question and to remain quiet. This site is about support and we all come here for that. We should be able to discuss what is on our minds here as this site is for us to do that, not to remain silent.

Thank you Charlie for having the strength to bring this up.

Sew

June 20, 2006
1:34 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Charlie:

Please do not be sorry for speaking what was on your mind. Jigs knows there has been doubt and we have discussed it and there is nothing you have said that we have not discussed before. She is an exceptional child and when explained in as she puts "mama's words" then she does understand. Shoot as far as that goes how does anyone know I am who I say I am. It could be any one here and I do know the point you are trying to say w/o saying it. 🙂

Sew: Thank you for your input also. Yes, I do believe the aunt is associated w/ this site. I've never brought it up in respect for her anonymity but would love to say a big THANK YOU to her for caring for her neice. It's a true example of the rippling affect that we each have on others lives. You have explained better than I would have. I always appreciate your view and opinion. 🙂 to you too.

Charlie, if you'd like to discuss further jump over to my name or start a new thread. That might open the field for you to say more or ask more if you would like. I don't have any objection to discussion further if you would like. Again, Charlie, don't apologize for speaking your mind.

June 20, 2006
2:03 pm
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sewunique
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I do not understand much of all of this, it seems to be a bigger puzzle than one named piece of it.

Where is the aunt then to be by her?

The MS pump should suffice for pain, injections in the spine? at home? I am checking with my Hospice team.

the spelling and grammer? Your rational does not add up from before the illness.

I am sorry, but I and others have in the beginning asked questions and they were ignored. Look at the old posts, threads.

It does not add up, but stranger things have happened.

I am concerned for you mamacinnamon and many others as well as myself. Thus, for my own protection, I remain distant.

Sew

June 20, 2006
2:18 pm
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sewunique
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I do not want to sound cold, heartless. God knows I am not, I care for terminally ill.

But if I do not speak up, I will never forgive myself for speaking my mind. (How I have grown in that respect here).

The same for my mom who I had lettle contact with before she had her brain anyersm burst and put her into a coma. I would never had forgiven myself had I not cared for her against all other's wishes and advice, but as a daughter and a nurse, I had to do it. It changed my life with many good miracles.

So I believe it is time to speak up, again, as in the beginning here. The channel has been opened for it.

God will care for Jigs, however real or condition or whomever she/he is; with or without us.

Jigs presence if nothing else has allowed codependents here on this site to 'give of themselves' as codependents have a 'need' to do. Again, it takes away our pain for the moment to focus on another. What better site to be than here? The easiest to access, the least monitored.

But I guarantee you, people are going to have to grieve, one way or reason or another, in the end of this saga. I shudder to think what that will be like for all. I am just looking at the 'big picture' here and being practical, with emotions aside. I know I am not the only one to see it this way.

Just my thoughts put out there,

Sew

June 20, 2006
4:02 pm
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lollipop3
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Sew,

Although I respect your opinion....don't you think this comment is perhaps being a little melodramatic.....

"Jigs presence if nothing else has allowed codependents here on this site to 'give of themselves' as codependents have a 'need' to do. "

Since when does caring about the welfare of a terminally ill child fall under the catagory of being "codependent"?

Catagorizing the support of this child as codependent is no different to me than to catagorize a man telling a woman she looks nice as sexual harrassment.

I'm more concerned about the drama being created here than I am about a few people treating someone the way they would like to be treated under the same circumstances.

Just my opinion.

Lolli

June 20, 2006
4:15 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Sew: I appreciate your concerns. You, as many know, the need for anonimity so don't ask me questions here that you know I cannot answer.

The aunt is not Jigs; it's the aunt of her friend from the school where she was attending when this all started.

I am not a medical person but what I have asked of my sister, peds icu nurse that does work w/ cancer kids too, and she's not doubted her medical treatment so far. But then she's had more info. You know as well as I that when things get to a certain point alot of patients cannot handle their situation. It's not like an adult that you can just throw the facts out and they can either deal w/ it or not. That I think is all I need to say coz I know you get my point there. I will say that hospice has not been called in.

I agree that it is good you speak what is on your mind. I also appreciate your concern. Means a lot to me. As for me tho.... I will be fine. I know God is in control and that God will take care of things.

June 20, 2006
4:17 pm
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mamacinnamon
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One more thing.... If Jigs is not real then why did she agree to move from this site when we were gonna move her but then SC posted to her she could stay. We had the move made. We stayed coz SC invited her to and others were involved.

June 20, 2006
4:32 pm
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gayle
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Mamacinnamon- Our sweet Jigsy is on my heart and I pray for peace for her and for no pain. My son is 11 and I could not imagine seeing him like that. Take care and keep us posted! Gayle

June 20, 2006
9:46 pm
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"Jigs presence if nothing else has allowed codependents here on this site to 'give of themselves' as codependents have a 'need' to do. "

Wow, sew. While I do agree that we CoDA's are good at escaping our pain by taking on other peoples' burdens, I also see Lolli's point, "Since when does caring about the welfare of a terminally ill child fall under the catagory of being "codependent?"

Asking for prayers, or praying for that child, talking to her when she is feeling bad or lonely... isn't that what this site is for? Do we or should we always question the identity of those who post on here before we can offer words of comfort? For goodness sakes, we are supposed to be anonymous!!!

This whole site exists because codependents like us offer the kind of support that we do.
I guess that each person will have to decide for him or herself if posting on this site has become unhealthy. Each person will have to follow their own conscience regarding jigsy.

Food for thought.

~~bonita

June 21, 2006
3:14 am
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sewunique
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I have debated as well whether or not to post my true questions and hesitency of freely letting go and blind acceptance or to question. My tendency is to question. It is part of my nature. It is what helps to determine the essence of problems, define the problem, find resolution to the problem and how to effectively intervene to get to the solution. It is part of my daily work. It is how I problem solve. You can call it nursing diagnoses and care plans or call it "teacher plans' or class plans. Bonita, I am sure you must be aware of these as you work in a school system?

It is a matter of what is the problem, how do I get there to that goal in mind? Simple. What I do not find simple is many questions of uncertainty. When things are obscure or do not add up. I am quite intuitive and quizzitive. Just my nature. When I read something I find odd, I question it. I have been too trustful and trusted the wrong people in my past.

When I go by my gut, senses, intelligence, education, intuition, experiences, I listen to what may be to it. Usually I am right. I can be wrong. I remind myself of this especially if I do not have enough data to inquire more in depth.

Haven't you ever had a situation where something just doesn't seem right? Can't put your finger on it, but something just nags at you about it? At times you get the real infor about something and then you get one of those "Aha!" moments?

I recall very clearly the very first post. I was sitting here on line. It was all about; "what should we do? what do we say? How can or should we get involved?" I opened a thread in Libs to help mamaC out what to say, sort of like up in Libs, behind the curtains to share onto an unseen thread. The debate was later emerged in Libs, was this real or not?

Then it got where we were "on stand-by" at our computers to catch the posts coming in. I stayed up all nite one nite; recieved only couple hours sleep the next and complained I needed sleep, please someone else take a turn. That is the truth on how this started. And soon after that I made my decision that it was insanity to stand by a computer not knowing what was up, that I had to lead my own life.

So I am being brave and daring here and expressing what I have felt and suspected for over a year. I think that is pretty good amount of time to with hold my thoughts on a tpoic I am concerned if a hoax, people will sufffer. If some psychological experiment, then this is sad. But what an opportune place to do so? I am concerned and that is all.

Perhaps you see me as a cold, heartless, withch? I am not and do not intend to come off soundign as such. But I suffer with this turmoil of uncertainty. I wonder of the consequences. Either way, folks will have to grieve this as I posted before. That is why I shared the Kubler-Ross on death and dying and the grieving site.

No Bonita and others, I am not heartless, but quite the opposite. I am pasionately, compassionately concerned for all. Thus my spew on codependency and how it can relate to this situation.

It makes no difference that I get the brunt of this posting; as I know others here and not here view the same views and concerns as I have expressed. So I am not "sew unique" in posing my views. In other words, I am not alone and it is frustrating as Charlie so boldly presented here. the extra bonus for her is she so eloquently posted a rebuttal to her first posting, as I see it. I cannot do that in my conscience to be true to myself.

I will ask these questions.

How does one have the same language skills, typing skills, unimproved after a year, yet read books like crazy and posts pretty fine poems that have been claimed to be of her
own making? Yet she is samrt? My friend has a 10 year old building her own website. Interesting.

If one has a morhine pump for pain control, why the injections in the spine, not in a clincal setting or hospital but in the home setting given by a nurse or doctor?

What has happened to all the pets that were mentioned?

Where are the teachers, her best friend, social services, her tutors, etc in all of this? Grandma does not hug, posts further back grandma hugs. Grandma is seen as the ugly witch. Some postings can be seen as dramatic venting, blaming when giving information about jigs current situation.

It really does not matter what I think. Or what you (plural) think. You, I , all, are going to think and beleive what you want to think.

I am not here to change anyone's mind. I am simply stating what is on my mind. I have a right to that. I have a right to my opinions. I have a right to express my feelings and concerns for myseslf and others. I have a right to question rather than to take on blind faith anything that anyone or book or rule says to be so.

I had a shirt once that came from the Teacher's Association, the NEA.

It said QUESTION AUTHORITY

June 21, 2006
3:23 am
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If the NEA of the USA, who are in the teaching position, make a statement to question authority, then I think it is a pretty sound value and statement.

It was while I was in college. Funny, simple as it is to understand, I had a revelation. I learned NOT EVERYTHING YOU READ IN A BOOK IS TRUE. Just because it says so, does not make it true. Laws are changed every day.

So yes, it is good that folks here have a little jigs to care for. If reality? Then all the better. And I keep my prayers open to that to my God. But that is from my lips to Gos's ears. I do not have to pulbicise to know what all is in my heart.

I appreciate this forum and the ability it provides to share my personal views and comments in a free nation.

~SewUnique~

June 21, 2006
3:25 am
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sew,

are you there?

June 21, 2006
3:36 am
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My third posting to mamac was in fact a poorly disguised attempt to quickly cover myself from the potential indignancy of any one who might then have attacked me for voicing my views here. In pacifying the main 'carer' for 'jigs', or showing submission, I was trying to de-fuse a topic before it had the potential to turn on me. A cowards way, of course.

Forgive me mamac, I have huge respect for you. You have been a part of my healing here too.

I am just being as honest as I can, which is sometimes harder than it looks.

I have no more to say on this subject. I have no more thoughts about it. Other than this...may we all of us live our lives authentically, with respect for our own feelings and those of others in equal measure...and in return receive a peaceful state of mind.

~c~

June 21, 2006
3:56 am
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i'm curious. is there anyway the sc could verify that jigs is for real. that way it would end the question of authenicity that many of us are in doubt about. as i understand it, many , well, most, of us on aac are very codependent. we have all been hurt by caring way to much for people unworthy of it. i understand what sew is saying; she is worried that some people on aac are going to get hurt by being so passionate and caring, esp if jigs is a hoax. this is a very serious matter. the ending of a young life. it is going to take a toll on many of us. we have all been had to many times in real life. to be had on here is an injustice of the highest when it involves such grief over a dieing child. imho.

June 21, 2006
4:03 am
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Another thing and then hopefully, I can leave here.

MamaC, you mentioned the spelling and grammer were due to seizures. Seizures did not occur until later. One does not spell during a seiure. After a seizure things clear up. People who have seizures take medicine and actually have driver's licenses to be able to drive on the streets.

So why does not an almost 12 year old (birthdate of 9/15) not have better spelling (and same spelling errors, very consistent) and sentence structure? I have been around children, and have grandchildren and also was able to correct ex's kid's papers. Gee, even my dyslexia changes!

Bottom line? Whatever I ask, there is an answer. Not always a sound nor medically reasonable, accurate one, but an answer to fit the jigsaw puzzle.

Questions I asked and others asked repeatedly at the beginning.....were ignored by jigs or she got off line. Smart. Very smart. Because those where great questions asked, they just never got answered, even today.

These are a few questions that are bare essentials. Too many more to ask, too many inconsistencies in the data reported about and from jigs. And I do not care to turn this into some debate or get ugly to me, or my ideas. Suspect they have already; I feel the dry biscuits hard as bricks being tossed upon me.

I love puzzles; my life has been a puzzle to which I have been able to piece together and I love psychology. But it does not make me an expert.

So I leave it lay. I had to speak up, for had I not spoken up, I would never forgive myself. To thine own self be true. I have to take care of myself and this is part of it. I am not here to win any popularity contest. I am quite used to having an oppossing thought or to have a different slant on a subject.

And please, no sense answering my questions, it just won't do. Unless you feel a need to justify, then do what you must. But I really am quite content to leave the rest up to Him.

Keep the faith and Peace will find you,

~SewUnique~

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