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It's the Paul and Buddha comedy hour!
January 20, 2006
3:14 am
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Anonymous
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Several of us were talking about what would happen if the apostle Paul and Buddha ever met each other. Somebody suggested they might form a comedy act. I thought about it and imagined that their act might go something as follows.

First, some background knowledge that might be useful. Paul gave a rather eloquent speech about a statue erected to an unknown god on Mars’ Hill, in which he spoke of Jesus Christ as being that unknown god.

Now, let’s let Paul and Buddha take it away!

==========================================

Paul: What a fine red robe you’re wearing, Buddha! Red reminds me of Mars, which reminds me of Mars Hill, which reminds me of a certain statue. Have I ever told you about ...

Buddha: The unknown God. Not in the last [looks at watch] 30 seconds. Paul, I must hand it to you, you’ve gained a lot of converts. But in the next life, they all become mine.

Paul: Oh, yeah?

Buddha: Yeah. They become ghosts. And ghosts say, “Boo!”, duh. Bud-dha, get it?

Paul: [doesn’t get it] Ghosts. That reminds me of cemeteries, which are usually built on hills, which reminds me of Mars Hill, which reminds me of a certain statue. Have I ever told you about …

Buddha: The unknown God. Not in the last [looks at watch] 15 seconds. Hey, my disciples are better looking than yours.

Paul: Oh, yeah?

Buddha: Yeah. They’re all Buddha-ful. Beautiful, get it?

Paul: [doesn’t get it] My disciples are Christian-ful. Christian-ful, Buddha-ful, get it? [nobody else gets it] They’re that way because I told them about …

Buddha: The unknown God. Right. Hey, Paul, what’s red and green and pink all over?

Paul: I don’t know, but when I see it, I’ll tell it all about…

Buddha: The unknown God. Right.

Paul: Hey, Buddha, have I ever told you about …

Buddha: Say good night, Paul.

Paul: Good night, Paul.

January 20, 2006
3:21 am
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Mu

January 20, 2006
3:48 am
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bonita1
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funny, ha ha :p

January 20, 2006
5:11 pm
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on my way
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Love it!

ok.

Paul: How did your belly get so large?

Buddha: Well, it isn't what you think.

Paul: Beer?

Buddha: and fries.

Paul: Yeah, I was blinded for 3 days, couldn't see anything! Now I have a thorn. But in me, I can find nothing wrong.

Buddha: How can you say that, you used to persecute and kill Christians! All I ever did was drink beer and eat too many fries!

Paul: Well, I can say that because I have been forgiven, I am not the same man. Say, do you want to give up your beer, I mean does it cause you any problems?

Buddha: Nope, I love my beer. But I don't drink it to get a buz, I meditate.

Paul: Oh yeah, I meditate too. What do you meditate on?

Buddha: Well, I have many things I meditate on to reach Nirvana.

Paul: Nirvana, what is that?
Buddha: It is a very peaceful state of mind, but it takes much dedication and work.

Paul: Who do you pray to? I was chosen by God and given the power to do what I do through Him. It isn't easy and sometimes I am cold, end up in jail, am jeered at, but I love what I do!! I wouldn't go back to my other lifestyle for anything! Hey Buddha, ever been in jail with sewerage up to your knees while you wrote a book?

Buddha: No, never. I would have to do alot of meditation for that!!!! You wrote a book? which book?

Paul: I wrote...well I didn't write, in my own power in jail and standing knee-deep in sewerage would make me want to lkay down and die and curse, but I was able to write parts of the most wonderful book, the Bible, but God did it through me.

Buddha: Oh, yes, I like the Bible, it is a very good book. Jesus was a great teacher.

Paul Teacher? He was more than a teacher, He was the son of God. I've seen His power in so many lives including my own.

Buddha: Hey, want a beer so we can talk more about this teacher?

Paul: I don't drink beer, but yeah, we can talk...anywhere you want to go, I'll go.

Buddha and Paul become friends, but they still beleive differently.

January 20, 2006
7:32 pm
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"THE WANDERLING INTERJECTS:

If the speaker brings no personal, egotistic delusions into their expression, the occasion speaks for itself, the total situation alone determines what is said or done. Thus, in the case of the Zen master, what-is-said is simply what-is. In the case of the deluded person, however, the "what-is" includes his excess conceptual baggage with its affective components, the deluded ideas about the nature of "self," "thing," "time," and so on that constitute the person's own particular distortion of what actually is."

January 20, 2006
10:38 pm
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Hi Tez,

Please clarify two things:

1. What does "mu" mean (post 2)?

2. What does your last post mean? {If the speaker brings no personal, egotistic delusions into their expression, ..."}

I've read it thrice and I'm still trying to unravel its meaning.

January 20, 2006
10:53 pm
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on my way, bonita -- I'm glad you liked it. I meant it to provide some comic relief -- sometimes these threads get too serious for my taste.

on my way -- I'm glad to see somebody else take up the challenge of script-writing for these two. I like yours! You have a way of teaching via dialouge. It makes it more interesting to digest.

You're not a teacher by any chance, are you?

January 21, 2006
1:53 am
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seekerw, and omw....

thankyouthankyouthankyou.

I have a bucket full of thank you here.

That is so AAC.

January 21, 2006
1:31 pm
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Hi WD,

Thank you. I had to get myself a bucket to catch all your thankyous.

By the way, what does AAC mean?

Seeker

January 21, 2006
9:21 pm
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Now that we're into such sophistication as stand up, I feel low brow with the obvious potty humor--I laughed so hard I nearly peed my pants!!! Thanks!!!!

January 21, 2006
11:31 pm
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LOL

Very Funny Guys!

January 22, 2006
1:06 am
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exoticflower and Y&R,

Thanks. I just hope this wasn't a one-time act for them. I have no ideas yet for a second act, except to make Buddha the straight man and Paul the funny.

Glad you enjoyed the show. Thanks for filling out the audience feedback form.

January 22, 2006
3:53 pm
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Okay, on with the show. Here are some backstage wranglings between Paul and Buddha in their comedy act:

Paul wants to be the funny guy; he wants to get the laughs, not be laughed at. Buddha points out that he is known as the "laughing Buddha" and appropriately should be the funny. Paul, being flustered, starts to talk about ... you guessed it, the ...

Buddha finishes the thought " ...unknown God" and adds that he wants first billing. It should be the Buddha-Paul show. After all, he is first not only alphabetically but also chronologically. Paul points out the first shall be last, and the last shall be first, hey, he's starting to be the funny. Buddha counters that that is in Paul's scriptures, not in his own.

The two stare at each other, at a seemingly impassable roadblock. Buddha laughs. Paul give a small chuckle.

How can they resolve this? Time will tell. Stay tuned for the next exciting episode.

January 22, 2006
10:44 pm
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Seekerw
On the 20-Jan-06 you asked:

"1. What does "mu" mean (post 2)?"

Mu is an answer to a Zen koan that is an appropriate answer to the question based upon the nature of the question.

For example assuming you don't nor have ever beaten your wife, if I asked you to answer the question "Have you stopped beating your wife yet?" you could neither answer truthfully yes nor no.

The implication in the question is that you either have or still are beating your wife. Of course you could answer "But I have never beaten my wife!" Though your statement might be true, that is not answering the question but offering further information.

However some questions and propositions contain similar fallacies as the above question that are beyond words to illucidate.

Mu is the standard Zen answer that immediately tells the student to meditate deeply on the Koan(intellectually ungraspable question)and to break through to a 'way of knowing' that is beyond words yet brilliantly clear.

Now to your second question.

"2. What does your last post mean? {If the speaker brings no personal, egotistic delusions into their expression, ..."}

I've read it thrice and I'm still trying to unravel its meaning."

Perhaps you need to reread it many more times and over the years to come seek out the meaning for yourself.

To me the meaning is very clear. It is "Mu"

If you insist that I put 'my clarity' into words, the best that I can do in the absence of any words to adequately explain is to see 'what is' without any reference whatsoever to a 'self' or 'other than self' in relation to the observed.

We all see things differently! As soon as the sense organ conditioned mind relates anything to the 'self' our predilections immediately color and filter what we see as 'people', 'objects' or 'things' with conditioned mind constructed boundaries and characteristics upon which to hang value judgments in regard to their worth or otherwise to that delusory, mind constructed 'self'. A 'tree' to a 'greenie' is different from the saw miller's tree, from a dog's tree, from a koala bear's tree, from ... what the tree really 'is' beyond all subjectivities whatsoever!!!

As you can see, I cannot answer you anywhere near as well as the Wanderling's answer did.

Go into deep meditation on the question of "Who is the 'I' who is doing the meditating?" See if you can find this 'I' and other than 'I' within your conditioned mind? Do that long enough with as much commitment as you can muster and given enough time you will see what really 'is'. The 'I' is boundariless - beyond!!

You will then fully understand the true meaning of the word Mu!!!

Then I will address you as Buddha - the fully enlightened one that has 'gone beyond'.

January 23, 2006
12:12 am
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Hi Tez,

I think I see what you are saying, but am not sure how it relates to this thread. I meant this as pure comedy, not to be analyzed.

You seem to think I'm conditioned a certain way and I can't see that due to my conditioning itself. I understand; I used to be heavily into psychology myself.

Of all people, and in light of our conversation on another thread, I was thinking you would appreciate the humor, or attempt at it. Maybe the subject matter hits too close to home for you. I meant no disrespect to Buddha.

Take care, Seeker

January 23, 2006
6:34 pm
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"Maybe the subject matter hits too close to home for you."

Nahhh! I think the Buddha would be amused as well.

But behind every comedian is a very serious thinker. The funniest man I knew was Tony Hancock and he committed suicide. John Cleese had a 'breakdown'. Billy Connolly had a severe alcohol problem - so on and so on.

Behind every joke instruction is to be found no matter how well disguised.

I saw much instruction and depth behind the humor on this thread. That is why it provoked my 'Mu' response.

You said:

" I meant no disrespect to Buddha."

I fully realize that - as would every one else I imagine.

Keep it up if you so choose. I do not object to it nor anything else on this site even though I may present a different view point.

January 23, 2006
9:45 pm
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Tez,

{But behind every comedian is a very serious thinker. The funniest man I knew was Tony Hancock and he committed suicide. John Cleese had a 'breakdown'. Billy Connolly had a severe alcohol problem - so on and so on.}

I hope you don't consider me a comedian, then -- I don't want the associated problems. :o) (the smiley face I like so much)

I meant nothing at all serious by my posts. I'm surprised you would find instruction in it. I simply meant to have some good old fun, and to give Paul and Buddha some personality.

Funny how I never know how what I post will affect somebody.

Take care, Seeker

January 25, 2006
7:23 pm
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Seekerw
23-Jan-06

"Funny how I never know how what I post will affect somebody."

Another extremely deep point. A butterfly flaps its wings in Australia and an earthquake takes place in Japan.

Everything is interdependent in very complex ways. The slightest thing that we do can have such profound effects as all the cause, effect and conditions combine to ripple down through the eons of time.

If we would be beneficent then our only true guide for our behavior is in keeping our intentions 'pure'.

Now that is a whole new ball game that might be worth avoiding playing!!!!

January 25, 2006
10:30 pm
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Tez,

{If we would be beneficent then our only true guide for our behavior is in keeping our intentions 'pure'. }

True, how very true. We should focus on keeping our intentions pure, and let others perceive us as they will. This is in line with what I've been thinking lately.

Seeker

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