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IS IT LOVE
May 9, 2001
11:26 am
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badchoices
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HI, I AM 26 YEARS OLD, I HAVE BEEN MARRIED FOR 8 YEARS, I HAVE A BEAUTIFUL 3 YEAR OLD DAUGHTER. I HAVE BEEN WITH MY HUSBAND SINCE I WAS 14 YEARS OLD, I NEVER DATED, BECAUSE OF RELIGIOUS REASONS WE WERE TOLD THAT WE COULD NOT DATE AT ALL. SO, TO GET TO THE POINT, AFTER HAVING MY DAUGHTER THINGS CHANGED WITH ME, I FELT LIKE I NEED TO MAKE MY OWN DECISION AND I HATED BEING THE NICE, QUIET PERSON EVERYONE KNEW I WAS. SO, I STARTED PAYING ATTENTION TO MYSELF, FIXING MY HAIR, WEARING MAKEUP AND GAVE A LOT OF ATTENTION TO MY WARDROBE. SO, I STARTED FEELING THINGS FOR ANOTHER MAN I WORKED WITH, HE WAS MARRIED TOO, SO, I STARTED SEEING HIM AND THEN STARTED TO FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM, HE HAS RECENTLY LEFT HIS WIFE AND SAYS HE WANTS TO SPEND THE REST OF HIS LIFE WITH ME, BUT I AM AFRAID OF LEAVING MY HUSBAND, WHEN I WAS A TEENAGER, MY FATHER ALWAYS TOLD US GIRLS THAT IF HE EVER CAUGHT US TALKING, JUST TALKING TO A BOY HE WOULD KILL US, MY RELIGION IS VERY DIFFICULT, ESPECIALLY LIVING IN AMERICA, MY HUSBAND IS THE SAME RELIGION, I THOUGHT I LOVED MY HUSBAND WHEN I MARRIED HIM, BUT I DON'T THINK I AM NOW, I AM NOT SURE WHAT I AM FEELING FOR THIS MAN THAT I AM SEEING, I WANT TO BE WITH HIM TOO, BUT I AM SO AFRAID OF WHAT WILL HAPPEN IF I LEAVE MY HUSBAND, MY FRIENDS SAY THAT I LIKE THE EXCITEMENT OF GETTING AWAY WITH BEING WITH ANOTHER MAN, I AM SO CONFUSED, I FEEL THAT I LOVE THIS MAN, BUT IS IT REALLY LOVE OR WHAT MY FRIENDS ARE SAYING. I HAVE TOLD THE MAN THAT I AM SEEING THAT I CAN'T LEAVE MY HUSBAND BECAUSE OF MY FAMILY AND MY RELIGION,I AM SO AFRAID OF LOSING HIM, I DON'T WANT TO LOSE HIM, I CAN'T IMAGINE LIFE WITHOUT HIM, I ALSO KNOW THAT I WOULD BE THE TALK OF THE FAMILY IF I LEFT MY HUSBAND.

MY HUSBAND HIS A GREAT GUY, BUT WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME? SO, PLEASE HELP ME!

May 9, 2001
1:45 pm
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Molly
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Your looking for excitement in all the wrong places. You are feeling the constraints of a strict life style in a wild wild world. You might be boared, and when that happens, we look for trouble. Leave this guy alone, they will always ask and promise, but how committed could he be to you, if he left his wife, birds of a feather flock together. Check on your character, check on your integrity, and honor your committments. Talk to your husband. tell him what you need, your a big girl now, be an adult. You should be very afraide of the out come, and should think of your daughter first and foremost.

May 9, 2001
2:08 pm
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badchoices
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May 9, 2001
2:12 pm
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badchoices
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Molly,

Thank you for the advice, you are very right and all my friends say it to me too, but I feel like I can't stop myself, I am not sure if I can let this guy go, I want to, but something is holding me back and I don't know what it is, I know what I am doing is very wrong, but why don't I want to end it? That's where I am lost.

May 9, 2001
6:00 pm
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Molly
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That part is so simple, its called passion, validation, excitement, something new, and he noticed. the old same old female trappings. I used to thank God for construction workers, what a whistle can do to a woman with a bad hair day. But we need to create that feeling on our own, and when the whistle is tossed, be greatful, but hey don't act out. Like going out to eat the other persons plate usually looks better, or we wish we had chosen the buffet line, you chose what you chose, and need to seek validation in some other way. Not near as exciting as the rush of a lover, but what kind of man messes with another mans wife, not a good one, and is this guy worth the thrill, I don't think so,cheaters are cheaters, and when they are done cheating, they are guilt ridden, for all the crap they caused. Set goals and obtain them, that is a thrill, that is better than what your playing with which is fire.

May 11, 2001
8:24 am
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badchoices
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Molly,

Thank you, I really know what to do now. I am going to end this relationship and concenrate on my marriage because deep inside that's what I want and when I get that urge to call this man up and get back with him I will just read your advice, because you have really made me think about this whole mess. Thank you!

May 11, 2001
11:10 am
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Molly
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Smart move, work on what you have, its up to you to make it the best as best you can and enroll him into the us thing. Good luck. Good choice

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