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Inner Child healing
March 9, 2006
5:18 pm
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Kathy, sometimes I ask myself what do I need and etc - and I reply back "I dont know" in an empty manner.

How do I start learning what I really need? Like if I said to myself "are you ok?" and I'm like "yea, I guess. I dont know".

See that? My inner child doesnt know what he needs. How does he learn to say it out whatever he needs? If he's not happy, he definitely needs something. Hmph.

Ok MAYBE I'm a little hungry but yes, many times I dont even know what I need. My inner child needs to be assertive and ASK for what it wants. How does he learn to make him do that? Constantly asking him and my adult giving all the attention to him to find out what he wants?

March 9, 2006
5:26 pm
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Ok 4th post now, sorry. It comes in pieces.

Because of my bad parenting, I'm now insensitive to my own needs. I dont know what I need, I dont know what I'm feeling.

So I think this is the FIRST step we need to do for inner child, healing, right? We have to get better at identifying our needs.

See, I had said we need step by step stuff. I feel this is the first step!

So, how do we start learning to identify our needs and how do we start being aware of what we are feeling?

Unless we can do that, we cannot know how to fulfil our needs. And we cannot how to deal with our feelings and so those feelings stay unidentified and locked away.

-->> So in summary, we want to start learning to identify our feelings and needs. <<-- Only then can we know how to make our needs met and how to react to our feelings and comfort ourselves. Isnt what I said really good?! Having some moments of clarity here.

March 9, 2006
6:29 pm
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Thanks Kathygy. I was hoping that you would respond as you seem to know quite a bit about the inner child healing.

My counselor wants me to bring an album that has pictures of me growing up and I have one of those school days books where I have a picture each year, or at least several years in it. I'm not sure exactly why she wants me to bring it except to maybe understand me better and see what I was like in the pictures from school. I don't like to look at myself during the adolescent years because there is pain there. Is inner child work just for when you were a little child or elementary or does it go into as you got older too?

Thanks,
TS

March 9, 2006
8:33 pm
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On the 9-Mar-06 you said:

"Because of my bad parenting, I'm now insensitive to my own needs. I dont know what I need, I dont know what I'm feeling."

This is something often foreign to women. Generally speaking many men, unlike women, have been taught in childhood to invalidate and to deny their own feelings as being 'not manly'. After all, what would happen in a pitched battle if the whole platoon gathered around the first casualty and started crying?

Yet if the platoon is victorious in battle drunken revelling and joyous outbursts are OK. Clint Eastwood style unemotional yet aggressive emotional self-control, such as a cool "Make my day", is seen as a highly desirable trait in men.

Now as an adult male you want to be free enough to feel your feelings and to know what your emotional needs are.

It isn't easy to reverse years of conditioning. But it can be done, bro.

I find that in the darkness of sensory deprivation of three or four oclock in the morning after an early night, I can look into my mind and see and feel my emotional self responding to a bad dream or a fear of some coming event.

I use such times as valuable self-discovery periods. I can sometimes clearly 'see' the irrational thoughts and beliefs that trigger, sustain and underpin the emotional arousals of fear.

Learning how to take the mental position of the 'observer' in one's own mind and of one's own mind in action, is the way to learn about the processes that constitute who we think we are and what we think we need.

Life is a learning curve in which we are dynamic not static beings. Who we think we were ten years ago is not who we think we are today. In fact who we actually are, who we think we are and how others perceive us to be are often very different things.

You appear to believe that there exists very simple steps or recipes for making yourself 'right' whatever that means. I don't think such simple steps exist. We all just live our lives with certain impermanent thoughts, beliefs and perspectives that interact with our emotions resulting in a myriad of personal experiences over our lifetime. Then for most of us, we all but completely disappear; but our legacy goes on in our offsprings and in those that we have influenced for the better or worse during our very short lives, albeit if we live to be 100 years old.

March 10, 2006
2:12 pm
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hi Tez

thanks for the nice post and mostly, for the encouragement that the conditioning can be undone! All I need to do is to remain true to myself and all will be OK. You're right life is so complex. I still try to simplify it, I believe there's a way out if I keep trying. Sometimes its hard though like right now my mind is in a "bleah" state. Atleast I'm not thinking negatively and feeling poorly but that does happen here and there. I wish we were taught in schools to handle ourselves and increase our self-esteem. 10's of years gone down the *'ing drain, doing maths, physics and everything else, when the most important thing I needed to learn was to be true to myself and take care of my own needs.

Maybe one day we'll see this kind of "schooling" going around when more people start seeing how important this is. Probably not in our lifetimes though.

March 10, 2006
2:42 pm
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guest,

It took me a long time to get to where I am at today with re-parenting my inner child.

I didn't figure out the whole thing all by myself. I had to learn in therapy the truth about my mother and father and the truth about how I was wounded because I was in deep denial.

I needed a therapist to teach me what my rights are and what a child's rights and needs are.

Also, I urge you to read John Bradshaw's book "Homecoming: championing and reclaiming the inner child". This book outlines all the ways a person is wounded from infancy up to teen years. It also outlines what a person needs from their parent at each stage.

I worked on this book twice with a group of people and then started re-reading the book.

If you are confused I am not suprised. Of course, you don't know how to re-parent yourself if your parents did their job poorly.

You need more information to know exactly what your inner child needs and how to re-parent him inorder to heal his wounds.

Your inner child should not have to assert himself to get his needs met anymore than a real child should have to do. A good mother meets most of her child's needs without the child having to ask. A good mother is always available to her child and is committed to taking good care of her child.

The child trusts that his mother will take care of his needs. But if he needs something the mother isn't aware of he feels safe and confident to ask his mother. He knows his mother will not shame him or put him down for asking.

It sounds like you are not in touch with your feelings and needs. If your inner child says he doesn't know what he needs or feels you might try asking him what is troubling him. Then you listen very carefully and now you can do some re-parenting.

If he says he is worried about the date with the woman from the office. You can ask him to tell you more. Then you can validate his feelings and tell him its fine to be nervous and that you will be right there with him every step of the way.

You can build him up and tell him he is wonderful person with a lot to offer. He dosen't have to prove anything to this woman. he will have your love and support regardless of what happens and such.

tooscared,

certainly you can include your teen years as a part of re-parenting yourself. But it becomes it little more tricky because teens need to separate from their parents and tend to think they know better than their parents.

But you can be there for your inner teen and ask him to tell you what is troubling him, that you will not judge him rather you will be there for him.

The thing that helped me heal my teen years the best was attending 12-step meetings for adult children of alcoholics because in many ways its like high school but a safe and nurturing high school where people love and support you.

March 10, 2006
5:40 pm
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Thanks Kathygy. I am a 42 (almost 43)mom with two teenagers myself - a 17 yr. old son and a 14 yr. old daughter.

Both of my kids have good self-esteems and like themselves. I have tried to give my kids what I needed from my parents, especially my mom, that I never received. But it brings up a lot of pain in me that I wanted so badly to be loved just for me and my opinion valued and I just wanted to feel good about myself but I just couldn't figure out how.

So, I don't know how the inner child healing would work for me. I love my own children so much and I want them to trust themselves and be confident as they grow older. How do you restore those lost years of wanting to feel happy and accepted?

Thanks for explaining this to guest and others who ask you about this topic. It is a subject that can bring healing but first I think it brings up some sadness and pain. Maybe that is part of the healing process.

Take care.
TS

March 10, 2006
6:26 pm
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You said:

" ... for the encouragement that the conditioning can be undone!"

I fear that I may have inadvertently misled you.

I said:

"It isn't easy to reverse years of conditioning. But it can be done, bro."

While this is true fear conditioning of the amygdala is pretty permanent - or so I believe. For example people frightened of spiders can be conditioned not to react in terror at the sight of a spider. I suspect that they still initially feel the same fear for a few seconds but don't cognitively maintain the amygdala's arousal by terrifying thoughts about the spider any longer.

This may seem like a moot point. But carers in old age homes say that the emotional memories of childhood, as opposed to contextual memories, are the last to go.

Thus the 'inner child' component that is emotionally based and whose emotional memory resides in the amygdala is pretty permanent. But how you cognitively respond to 'inner child' eruptions is, in my experience, not.

I don't know if this makes much sense to you. A good example is when the 'inner child' craves the attention from this woman that you are 'hooked' on. If you have sufficient insight into the way your inner child enslaves your adult self into pandering to its whims and can get that adult self to nurture your emotions into a quiescent state, you can avoid putting both your 'inner child' and your 'adult self' in harm's way

This thing called the 'inner child' is nothing more than the 'model name' given to inner processes conditioned in childhood that unconsciously drive dysfunctional behavior in adulthood. I believe that this child has a large emotional component and a cognitive component such as 'childhood scripts' and thought processes. This latter component I believe can be changed. The former I doubt will change - it is survival based and has evolved through the eons of evolution to ensure that the child seeks out its significant carer in times of perceived threat.

We once kept semi-wild ducks on a dam. Their mother and thus all of the ducklings were scared of us and remained so for life no matter what we did. One day I performed an experiment. I separated one duckling immediately after it hatched and nursed and petted it for only a few hours before returning it to its semi-wild mother. That duckling never feared me as an adult all its life. Imprinting in infancy is readily achieved and life long in my opinion. Wild animals can be tamed in adulthood to some extent but they always are in danger of reverting in an instant to their dominant wild emotional responses.

I doubt that we humans, being a species of animals too, are much different.

March 10, 2006
9:09 pm
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Tez,

"This thing called the 'inner child' is nothing more than the 'model name' given to inner processes conditioned in childhood that unconsciously drive dysfunctional behavior in adulthood."

I think to refer to this process as 'nothing more than' greatly undermines its power and effectiveness.

I see the concept of the inner child as a route to access childhood wounds and to heal them. Inside of me are all the messages I got about myself growing up and all of the pain I expereinced as a child that was not safe for me to feel at the time but now as an adult in a safe environment I can allow the pain to surface and to feel it fully. In that way I can release it as I re-parent myself and heal it.

"I believe that this child has a large emotional component and a cognitive component such as 'childhood scripts' and thought processes. This latter component I believe can be changed. The former I doubt will change"

The latter you refer to is thought processes. Yes, indeed it is my experience that they can be changed in fact I have made enormous strides in changing mine in re-parenting my inner child so that I feel I have undone a lot of the negative childhood messages I got.

My self-esteem has greatly risen by givig my inner child everything she didn't get growing up.

You doubt that childhood scripts can be changed. I have found that this is NOT true. In fact, I have dramatically changed mine to the point of non-recognition.

I had a therapist once who talked a lot about how childhood scripts can run our adult relationships. She told me that I had to let go of those scripts inorder to be present and genuine in my adult relationships.

This I have worked very hard on doing with great sucess. It is the awareness of these scripts and how much they get in the way of having a healthy intimate, loving relationship that motivated me to unearth myself from them.

I felt as though that therapist had taken a hose and washed the 'dirt' of of me to help reveal my true self without those scripts.

As I have developed a loving relationship with my inner child she feels safe enough to let go of those scripts.The most important thing to my inner child is that she knows I will never leave her or abandon her and always love her and accept no matter what.

I give my inner child lots of attention, something that was lacking in my childhood.

I validate her feelings and needs. Again, something I did not get as a child.

The more I give my inner child the things that a child needs to grow and develop into a confident adult with a strong sense of self the less outside events can hurt her or effect her sense of well-being.

If you have never done inner child work on your own self I don't think your opinions about it can be valid.

You need to experience it inorder to evaluate it. Its like expressing an opinion about what you think about vanilla ice cream without ever tasting it.

March 11, 2006
8:49 pm
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kathygy

On the 10-Mar-06 you said:

" think to refer to this process as 'nothing more than' greatly undermines its power and effectiveness."

I don't agree about the truth undermining anything except falsehoods.

The truth is that the "inner child" is just a 'model' for processes occuring in the brain and not a 'real child' living in one's head.

I have found that many ill-informed people often take umbridge at the thought that they have an 'inner child'. They seem to think that one is inferring that they are immature and/or childish. I have found it helpful to stress that the label 'inner child' applies to a 'model' of processes in the brain. It is especially helpful when scientific evidence is available that backs up these processes that occur.

You also said:

"You doubt that childhood scripts can be changed."

Did I say that??? I thought that I said the exact opposite.

What I said was:

"I believe that this child has a large emotional component and a cognitive component such as 'childhood scripts' and thought processes. This latter component I believe can be changed. The former I doubt will change "

The "former" is a "large emotional component". The "latter" is "'childhood scripts' and thought processes". I said that "This latter component I believe can be changed".

March 11, 2006
9:03 pm
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kathygy
On 10-Mar-06 I see that you said:

"If you have never done inner child work on your own self I don't think your opinions about it can be valid."

Why would you assume I hadn't?

On such scant evidence, why would you assume that I am denigrating John Bradshaw's School of Therapy?

If you had read my many posts here over many years(since the inception of this site) you might have come to a very different conclusion.

March 11, 2006
10:50 pm
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__kathy, thanks for the post. I emailed a lady out of state who said she might be near our city in summer to have an inner child workshop. I'll find out more, there might be some local stuff in my city going on too.

Yes I thought you two would disagree on this inner child topic.

___Tez__, you say the inner child is the bad emotional implusive part, e.g. you say when I crave for that woman, its my inner child doing it. I'll say that, I crave for her when I'm not taking care of my inner child's needs and not loving myself. We may say that its my unloved inner child that craves for that woman? When I'm feeling good, I dont crave for her in that way. I do miss her sometimes like right now - gosh I'm feeling not good because I'm hungry. I feel guilty about eating all the time. I asked her what I should eat and she told me carrots and stuff in between meals.

Yes I'm trying to remind myself that she could not be faithful to me. I know its wrong of me to miss her. Its right of me to take care of myself, but I'm missing a girl in my life so much. I know, that when I'll have a girl, I'll not miss this other girl.

Tez wrote:

>> Thus the 'inner child' component that is emotionally based and whose emotional memory resides in the amygdala is pretty permanent. << I think this is where kathy is disagreeing with you? You say the duckling was never afraid of you later on. I think we humans are very different from animals in the area of intelligence and flexibility. Creativity e.g. is not found in animals and lots of other stuff. So I think the duckling example though valid to an extent, is not valid if we say the fear conditioning is permament. Animals cannot think cognitively out of their fear conditionining. They cant even try to think out of it. Atleast we humans can try. We can be concious of our conditioning and how it effects us, but can animals be concious? I dont think so. So I'm saying the duckling example must not be applicable to us totally. Thanks friends. I'm having a hard time right now :(. Want to cry, but its becuase of my hunger, my inner child is hungry and upset and wants to cry. I'll go do something about it. Tomorrow I might go with her to buy carrots and she'll tell me more about dieting. I'll ask her for some relationships and what I should do to find a girl. I want to let her know also that, I'm free of her. I really do want other girls interested in me as much as she is and I want to ask her frankly what I can do to get other girls interested in me. Oh man, my hunger! I miss human company :(( hmm :((( sniff :(((((.

March 12, 2006
1:34 am
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Guest,

I'm not trying to be flippant here. You said something a while back on this thread, and I wanted to add a new twist to it.

You described how your inner child was hungry and your inner parent did't want to get up to feed the child.

Here's what you could do to satisfy both of them. I assume it's been the inner mother doing the parenting of teh child. The inner father could get up and tell the inner mother, "Sit down and rest, dear; I'll make dinner tonight."

That way everybody wins. The inner child eats; the inner mother rests; and the inner father gets the joy of nurturing both of them.

Seeker

March 12, 2006
12:05 pm
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Thanks. Its both the mom and the dad who were tired. I could then go on and say, both the mom and dad are tired, so let uncle Bob get up and fix up dinner and so on. Gets funny. I think there's only a child and an adult, not a mom and dad.

March 12, 2006
12:32 pm
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Or perhaps you could have an inner maid to do the cooking, while the inner child plays with the inner dog and cat and the inner parent watches an inner-taining show.

Perhaps you could even have an inner babysitter to watch the inner child so the inner parent can get out for an inner-esting evening.

I mean no disrespect for the concept of inner child and parent. I can see that it could be useful for healing oneself.

Seeker

March 12, 2006
2:00 pm
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lol "inner-esting" hehe.

I'll try to read the inner child book today, but first gotta feed the little guy some food cause i'm hungry.

March 12, 2006
8:30 pm
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Guest_guest.

You said:

"_Tez__, you say the inner child is the bad emotional implusive part, e.g. you say when I crave for that woman, its my inner child doing it. I'll say that, I crave for her when I'm not taking care of my inner child's needs and not loving myself."

Yes ... I would agree with that.

And you said:

"So I think the duckling example though valid to an extent, is not valid if we say the fear conditioning is permament."

Our initial or dominant behavioral response to fear conditioning and fear conditioning itself are two different things. I am talking about the fear conditioning itself.

Our cognitions can given sufficient insight and under certain levels of emotional arousal control and direct our behavior in spite of our emotions. Cognitions are however not part of our 'emotional' conditioning; that is the conditioning of the amygdala to provide our initial emotional response to a threat.

See the references to the "Le Doux short cut" and the neural transmission and feedback pathways in the brain (LeDoux, 1996, 2002) for further edification on that to which I refer.

Since our mammalian brains are almost identical with that of our fellow creatures neuroscientists consider that extrapolating from the experiments performed upon rats as being valid in so far as explaining our human behavior. In addition much research done on rats' brains has been
validated as applicable to humans by scientific research into the pathologies resulting from severe cases of brain damage in humans.

I have not overlooked the fact that our neocortex and other cortical functioning has evolved to the point wherein language has resulted in our present cognitive capacities give us advantages over our primate cousins and other animals. This also is a different issue.

March 12, 2006
8:56 pm
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Guest_guest.

You correctly quoted me as saying:

>> Thus the 'inner child' component that is emotionally based and whose emotional memory resides in the amygdala is pretty permanent. << And then you said or asked?: "I think this is where kathy is disagreeing with you?" I'm not sure that she would. Of all of Kathyg's writings that I have read I have fully understood I, have not disagreed with any of them, the only exception being her misreading of what I wrote and her gross underestimation of the credence and the extensive usage to which I have put Bradshaw's and Family of Origin Theories in my own life. Of course I am much more eclectic than to put all my 'eggs in one basket' as it were. There are many ways of modelling human behavior. Dr. Eric Bierne preceded Bradshaw and perhaps inspired him with his Transactional Analysis Theories. Bierne mooted that there is a Parent, Adult and a Child(PAC) in each of us that communicates with the P, A, C in others. He further maintains that his PAC model accounts for problems in human relationships. Simple mathematics show that there are 9 combinations that can result in either effective or dysfunctional communications. In coming up with his model Bradshaw seems to me to have focussed mainly, but not exclusively, upon the Adult and the Child. But I stress that this is just the modeling of and therefore perhaps over simplifying very complex mental processes. Again - I have not overlooked the need for models and oversimplifications when giving coping 'tools' to lay people with little understanding of or insight into their own psyches. However you being a 'left brained'. male, electrical engineer will most probably need much more 'nitty gritty' justifications for accepting the 'inner child' theories as valid tools for learning an effective way of living your life. Phew! People seem hellbent on injecting inferences, implications and intonations into what I write. So be it!

March 13, 2006
10:53 am
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I do believe in the inner child healing and want to try it to see if it works. Sorry if I infered what you wrote wrongly :D. heheee. I registered at another depression site yesterday, they had a chat room. I met an old woman who said she had done it and it helped a lot. Seems like everyone who has done it, has said that it has helped. I should contact the local groups in my city. You remmbered that I'm an engineer eh :D, hehe. Thanks for remembering. I didnt even know I had told you here.

March 13, 2006
2:49 pm
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Tez,

The main thing I want to say is that the inner child model has worked and is working miracles for me in healing my childhood wounds. I have tried many, many different approaches and this one does the trick for me.

Of course, I realize that my inner child is not a living and breathing person. However, I love her and re-parent her as though she was.

Sometimes I find your writing style to be very confusing. Rather than talking from your heart about your own experience you use psychological verbage and talk about the inner child concept abstractly. At least in this thread that is what I am picking up. You sound distant and authoritarian, detached from your feelings, more like a text book than a human being.

It tells me nothing about you and makes it hard to relate to you.

March 13, 2006
3:22 pm
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😀 you can count on kathy to give it to you straight lol.

_____Tez____, I agree I think you like abstract stuff and that "verbage" thing. It keeps us up in the air, doesnt it? Or no? Its so true what kathy says. If it, its definitely interesting. Hmmmm. What are your thoughts on that? oh boy. If someone gives frank straight stuff like that to me, I take it as a rare oppurtunity to learn about myself. How many other people have you had saying it straight to you on this site? Not many. Do you think its really verbage and abstract ideas? Come to think of the Bhudda thread, I've learnt little from it. The only thing I know is we have to see beyond our mind. Now the question is how and how would it benefit me? etc.

I think now I REALLY want to do this inner child thing, now that kathy said how much it has helped her.

___Kathy____, can I ask if it has helped you that much, are you planning to do more inner child work? There's no such thing as having too much love for ourselves, right?

March 13, 2006
4:38 pm
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Hi guest,

I do inner child work everyday by interacting with my inner child in a loving and validating way and really listening to her.

I am working through John Bradshaw's book again. I kept re-reading the infancy stage and what an infant needs and how an infant can be wounded. My inner child loves it when I read the inner infant affirmations out loud to her in the mirror. It is very nurturing and healing.

I told my therapist I was working through the book again.

March 13, 2006
5:15 pm
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oh ok.. very good. I've had one question. I havent read the book totally yes (still trudging slowly there).

Does it matter if we dont remember what happened in infancy and other stages? It doesnt matter, right?

March 14, 2006
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One more thing kathy: To all the people you've talked and given advice on this site, the problem is really them not taking care of their inner child, right? That would solve everything for everyone? If not, for whom would it not solve the problems?

March 14, 2006
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what's wrong with being a kid? Kathy i seem to have a part that loves to play. i just thought it was my personality. do u mean i am going back and reworking my childhood. if that is the case i hope i am slow at it because i plan on keeping my inner child. She and i get along just fine.....i'm curious now about what u are doing. does the book tell u how to be a kid or cure u from somethng traumatic in childhood????
thanks, gup

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