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In this moment.....
April 25, 2010
2:07 am
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andii
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Maybe a day late and a dollar short, my reading this and listening to what it has to say. I don't have this book. But I am loving these posts. They are speaking to me and I'm not certain why, but they are so I am going to listen. Today, I'm gong to focus on this post.

April 25, 2010
8:55 am
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Hepburn
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((((andii)))

This book speaks to me too, because I'm a raging (but now recovering) Codie. When we're ready to hear we listen, eh?

I got this book from a CoDA meeting a few years ago. They sell lots of literature at the meetings. If you go to the CoDA web site you might be able to find it there too.

April 26, 2010
2:19 am
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Hepburn
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April 26

In This Moment, I trust myself.

In my childhood, breaches of trust seriously impacted my self-esteem and ability to trust my gut instincts. I grew up thinking I was supposed to trust others automatically. When others broke that trust, I was confused and upset. I wondered what I had done wrong to cause them to be dishonest.

I've learned in CoDA that I'm not responsible for others. People need to earn trust, and some people just aren't worthy of trust. I let go of relationships with people I can't trust. Today, I choose to share my life with trustworthy people.

April 26, 2010
1:59 pm
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MsGuided
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Thanks for this thread (((Hep)))

I appreciate the reminders of the source of my "illness" and the steps offered to free myself from those debilitating chains.

I'm doing ALL of this now, but it's good to read the clinical direct ideas in sections.

Yea It speaks to me also BIGTIME!

Be Well!

April 26, 2010
4:11 pm
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Hepburn
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((((MsG))))

April 26, 2010
6:11 pm
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andii
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Oh, barefootgirl, there is always hope! Have you thought about doing something, no matter how small? At takepart.com you can sign petitions, there are sample letters to write to Obama and Congresspeeps and senators along with leaders of other countries. Are you recycling? I'm thinking of Carrie Underwood's song, don't know the title off hand, but these words "Don't listen to them when they say, you're just a fool just a fool to believe you can change the world! The smallest thing can make such a difference love is a light don't listen to them when they say: you're just a fool just a fool to believe you can change the world...."

Just one small thing.

andii

April 26, 2010
6:20 pm
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Hepburn
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andii, I think you posted to barefootgirl on the wrong thread.

April 26, 2010
6:23 pm
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andii
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Oh DUH ON ME! I read your post for the day and was thinking deeply about it while reading other threads. I guess it was on the back of my head. I don't how that happened.

Again, your posts on this are awesome hepburn!

andii

April 27, 2010
11:34 am
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Hepburn
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April 27

In This Moment, I look in the mirror and see myself.

It never occurred to me to make amends to myself while looking into a mirror, as the book Co-Dependents Anonymous suggests. Before CoDA, when I looked in a mirror, I saw a person, but I never saw myself. When I made amends to myself, I touched some of my SELF-abandonment, SELF-neglect, and SELF-abuse issues. The transformation was amazing. I saw ME, who I really am, and I fully accepted myself. What a powerful experience.

April 28, 2010
11:09 am
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Hepburn
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April 28

In This Moment, I just do it!

I'm working to gain confidence in my ability to make the right decisions and to say the right things at the right times. I believe the answers are within me, so I wonder why I don't trust myself at times. Friends and family encourage me. My Higher Power believes in me, and yet I often doubt their good opinion. Why don't I believe in me? For one day, I'll ignore my shame, fear, and doubts--and just do it.

April 29, 2010
1:29 am
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Hepburn
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April 29

In this Moment, I recognize that conflict can be good.

As a codependent, controversy and conflict are things that I have often preferred to avoid. Working through these uncomfortable feelings, I've learned there are healthy ways to address issues. I practice my new behaviors within the CoDA program. If I don't like the way meetings are held, literature is distributed, or group monies spent, I can ask for and participate in a group conscience. Things don't always go my way, but I feel good that my opinions are heard. Today, I view conflict and controversy as opportunities for growth.

April 30, 2010
12:32 pm
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Hepburn
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April 30

In This Moment, I am lovable, loving, and loved.

Sometimes my heart feels closed. I can't feel the love that others, including my Higher Power, have for me.

In recovery, I learn to trust. When I open myself up in safety, my heart opens as well. I realize I am lovable. This love expands over time, and through my Higher Power. I feel a passion for my friends and family that I never felt before. I am loving. When I feel the love others have for me, I realize I am loved.

May 1, 2010
10:36 am
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Hepburn
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May 1

In This Moment, I am willing to change.

In the past, I thought my life would be better if other people changed. But that didn't happen and I was miserable. I came to CoDA hoping to learn how to change other people. What a surprise to find out that I was the one who had to change! Now, when I say the Serenity Prayer, I concentrate on "the wisdom to know the difference." If I stop, think, and pray, I discover choices. Change begins with me. Today, I'm willing.

May 2, 2010
3:04 am
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Hepburn
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May 2

In This Moment, I am.

I exist. I am no longer a cringing shadow in the corner. I am substantial. I have a presence. I have personality, character, and personal style. I matter. I am free to be me, up front and in the open. I am an integral part of the universe. I am needed. I am here to fulfill my purpose on this earth. I am unique. I am precious. I am me.

May 3, 2010
1:25 am
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Hepburn
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May 3

In This Moment, I start anew.

Before recovery, I spent many years hiding, never being honest with anyone--family, friends, co-workers, and myself. I didn't even know I was being dishonest. All of my self-centeredness, self-pity and self-will had to go. I am grateful for my recovery and the changes I have made. I'm a new person.

May 3, 2010
11:46 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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you can only change yourself and be responsible for YOU...anything else is controlling and not healthy...YUP.

May 4, 2010
12:42 pm
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Hepburn
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I had a rough morning and couldn't post the In This Moment for today. Sorry. BUT look for it tomorrow.

Love,
Hep

May 4, 2010
5:56 pm
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andii
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(((Hepburn)))

May 5, 2010
1:56 am
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Hepburn
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Thank you andii.

May 5, 2010
2:14 am
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Hepburn
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May 5

In This Moment, I focus on the present.

An important lesson I've learned in recovery is that "what if" and "if only" don't belong in my vocabulary. When the committee in my head fills me with fear and anxiety, I maintain my sanity and serenity by focusing on the present. "What if" projects to the future, which I can't control. "If only" refers to the past which I'm powerless to change. If I want healthy and loving relationships, I need to stay focused in the moment.

May 6, 2010
11:32 am
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Hepburn
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May 6

In This Moment, I have a safety net.

I have a favorite photo of my 2 year old grandson. He's looking at the camera with excitement and determination, while hanging in the middle of a set of monkey bars. On one side of him stands his "higher power", his dad, with hands ready to catch his beloved son should he slip. On his other side is a representative of his "fellowship" excitedly cheering him on...Grandma. I recall how it felt when I was a child, hanging from the rungs of the monkey bars, grabbing the first two bars and hanging there...scared to let go to reach for the next rung. Stuck.

I have come to believe. I have a Higher Power that stands with hands ready to catch me should I slip. I am part of a Fellowship that cheers for me. With this image in mind, I need not fear letting go.

May 7, 2010
1:43 am
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Hepburn
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May 7

In This Moment, I seek balance.

I'm aware of a need to find a balance between extremes. I want to be kind, not smothering. I want to be truthful, not brutally frank. I want to be generous, not enabling. I want to control my own behavior, not another's. I want to be an example of recovery and not lapse into the traits of codependency.

I know I can count on my Higher Power's help, today and every day.

May 8, 2010
10:29 am
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Hepburn
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May 8

In This Moment, I am whole.

I am one with the universe. I am a complete being. I reach to connect with my Higher Power. I wish to know my soul's aspirations. I feel strength from within to heal from within. I know another human being will not complete me. My Higher Power completes me. I am whole. I am one. I am worthy of love.

May 11, 2010
11:50 am
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Hepburn
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Today's In This Moment is in honor of my birthday. Which is today. And I'm taking the "birth" part literally, since I really feel like I'm new in a lot of ways. Happy Birthday to me!

May 11

In This Moment, my reaction is different.

When I was a child. I hid. I was told that "Children should be seen, but not heard." "I love you" was never spoken in my house. No one hugged. I never heard, "You did good", even though I did well in school. I didn't think I mattered much. I tried to run away at the age of ten.

Today, I know I matter. I'm not perfect, but I don't have to rely on another's approval in order to have a good self image. I do positive self-talk. I can't change anyone else, but I can change myself and the way I treat me. When I did something weird, my first reaction was to call myself, "Stupid!" I am changing that. Today, I hit my head in the shower. My reaction was different. I said, "Oh, are you OK?"

May 13, 2010
4:27 pm
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sexychoclady
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Happy Birthday Day and happy new u.I was raised as u were.Seen and not heard.In fact i often refer to myself as the witherd plant in the corner.No water,no nuturing but some how grew...Anyway!!

Just wanted to stop by and let u know, I feel u,and loved what ur doing..KEEP Up the good work..

We are beautiful just as we are..THANK YOU GOD!!!!!

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