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In support of SC & this Site
June 15, 2005
7:36 pm
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Juanita
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Ok. Time and time again, I see SC's rules and guidelines questioned, quibbled, and bashed. SC, herself, has taken a number of direct hits. Now, I am all for discussion to help gain clearer understanding of certain matters - but this Site is SC's Baby. Let's not bash her.

I'm tired of hearing people say they don't like this site. (No this is not directed at a recent particular thread title - just in general) This is a good site. People, for the most part, are loving, caring, supporting, and giving. You may have issues with certain contributors, but all in all, this site has been very helpful to many.

We must remember ALL the people here have been hurt in one way or another, and are dealing with, or have dealt with, issues one way or another. We all handle our tramas and pains differently. Some of us are stronger than others. Some can move on easier or faster than others. SOME WILL NEVER COMPLETELY HEAL. Some of us heal rather cynically, others more peacefully. We must remember this too in the advice we are given & read. We are being offered the caring advice to the best of that poster's ability.... and sometimes that ability can fluctuate from day to day. The person giving advice may be having a rough day themself. Not all advice is a good 'fit' for us, we must select what is right for us and appreciate that there are other people out there at least trying to be of help to us. Let's face it - they care enough to post... that's gotta be worth something!

For those out there who have in the past said (about the site), 'well, I'd do this', or 'I'd handle it differently', or 'I disagree with SC's rules', or fire shots at SC directly - calling her basically a drama queen, or someone who loves drama .... let me toss out a suggestion - and No, it is NOT to leave, but rather - think about (and possibly even DO) how would you create your perfect support site? Surely, you would have rules. And, as all rules go, they are meant to protect the majority and help keep comformity and peace. What would you do differently?

If this site is so awful to some, why not create one of your own? (Also, you must admit there are POSITIVE attributes here or you wouldn't keep returning.) Surely those who think like you would love to visit your site & join you. This is NOT a bash. SIMPLY, IT'S AN IDEA TO SATISFY AN UN-MEET NEED. Isn't that the way in which all good business ventures begin? Satisfying an un-meet need?

If you don't like what happens at your child's school - join the PTA, PTO, and School Board to help make changes.

If you don't like the Boy Scouts or Girl Scouts, become a troop leader, or create your own "club" for the local kids.

If you don't like your government; Local, State, or Federal - VOTE ... If that's not good enough - get in the running, let your voice be heard!

Basically, I encourage those who find something lacking in the 'system' (whatever system that may be), to get creative, to particate, to help make changes in this World to make it a better place and meet the needs of those out there whose needs aren't being met... be that your child's, your own, your neighbors', your parents, whomever's...

We all are probably quilty of not actively 'participating' in changing those things in life we feel need to be changed... but if we all did put some energy towards changing at least one thing for the better in our lives - wouldn't that be something?

We pulled our daughter out of Girl Scouts because it seemed like a never ending fund raising campaign to support the payroll of the GS higher ups.... Instead, some local moms got together to have our girls get together and try to do field trips once in a while, or a campout. (Basically, all the fun of the GS' but no fund raising or cookie deliveries!) Do I think this important? Yes. Some Moms & I felt our daughters were not tools to help raise someone else's salary. They still learn team work, camping, and crafts without time away for selling this or that or the other thing. Some people may disagree, but then they can do their own thing....

I like this Site. I believe SC is doing a good job. She is doing her best, and the last time I looked up "perfect" in the dictionary her photo wasn't there and neither was anyone of ours. Stop bashing this Site and more especially, SC. Enjoy it and contribute to it in a positive and supportive manner- the same as which you should do when joining anything helpful in your life.

The SC is only human. She is not perfect, she will not please 100% of the people 100% of the time. She, herself, can only take so much - just like any one of us! She has stated she's not sure how much longer she will keep this site up, and I for one do not want to see her catching any more grief for trying to affect the World in a positive way. I'd like to see this Site continue. At least the SC cared enough about other people to try and make a difference in our lives. She should not be bashed.

For those who are unhappy with the way things are done, they should endeavor to do as the SC did, be creative and try to make a difference. We all have powers and abilities beyond what we think if we put our minds to it.

SC, you have my support... keep up the good work, and as you would say,

Peace,

Juanita

June 15, 2005
8:03 pm
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exoticflower
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Here here, thank you SC!

Juanita, I hear what you are saying, and see myself the biggest problem for CS and for ourselves as this: Taoists (which I am not but have respect for hugely) say that a good leader lets the people govern themselves or something to that extent (if anyone knows what it is exactly?)...well, that is fine and a good way for sc to be able to maintain her sanity--this site is her baby, but we are the community that needs to care for it, we are the ones that it is for.

When I see something that makes me really uncomfortable, I say so. I think it is important, ala NY subway to 'if you see something say something' as someone else suggested. BUT, being uncomfortable doesn't give anyone the right (IMHO) to make someone feel unincluded--perhaps start a new thread addressing the issue itself as it may be for anyone rather than calling someone out on it beyond the basic reference to your feelings about it--lets us work as a community to sort out the feelings without letting it becoem someones forum or trial, just to aknowlege the matter not the person who brought it foreward. Say joe hates the way Liza always leans on self pity and takes threads over with it-Joe says 'well, when you do this I see this and it makes me very uncomfortable because...'. Liza could say 'oh, I see well...' THEN, as a community, people seeing something about to break forth could take the initiative to say 'well, guys, no gloves here, please, this is about--. BUT, I remember a thread about feeling upset when other peoples emotions seem to turn into the only focus, I am betting you both have a LOT to add to that".

Of course, I wouldn't do this if it felt fake, but the key there, I think, would be respecting both parties enough to realize that they likely DO both have something to offer with thier different opinions, and in the right thread, that would be great. It is honest, it offers a solution, it maybe breaks up the tension, it keeps focus where it should be--support. Just one thought, if it doesn't seem silly.

June 15, 2005
8:04 pm
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exoticflower
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CS? I'm sorry, meant SC!

June 15, 2005
9:03 pm
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SoulSpirit
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I am new here, so I hesitate to dip my foot in the waters too deep. I believe the guidelines are here for a reason...to be followed. If we choose not to follow them, then SC has the right (and maybe the obligation) to ask us to leave and not participate.

Frankly, I come here looking for support. I do not have the mental strength to read every thread, and even if I did, my "self" wouldn't be able to cope with the issues that burden so many.

My voice has been utilized here to pray for the site, and it's particpants. I have started some positive threads, with minimal participation, and yet I sit here and wonder to myself, why do people get so involved and upset over negative things, yet when the positive is handed out on silver platter for the taking, it is pushed aside.

My lifes experiences have taught me that when I wallow in the negative, I am only dragging myself down. I have made the choice not to get involved in all this "stuff"... it is to me, (IMHO) a sad situation that we are unable to communicate at a level without all the bashing of one another.

I got involved in a similar situation one time, and it drug me so far down emotionally, I vowed to not let it happen again... and so far... I have been successful.

Loving one another, and supporting one another isn't about being right or wrong folks... it is about sharing our life experiences in a way that gives someone else an opportunity to not make the same mistake. By the same token, you can lead a horse to water but can't make it drink. Choices...life is all about choices... we can choose to wallow in the garbage of life, or we can choose to get up out of it and move on.

SC, no longer than I have been here, I see your job as very stressful, and I believe your job is to be highly commended. I am sure you walk a wire that is so tight...and most here have no concept of the pain and stress you must endure. God Bless you for being willing to take it on in order to help others! I for one, appreciate the opportunity to participate...and please, if I ever click that "I followed the guidelines" button, when I truly didn't... don't hesitate to let me know... I like all, can type in a way that is read differently.

God Bless all of you!

June 16, 2005
5:51 pm
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site coordinator
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hey everybody,

I like this thread, it does show that there are folks that see there are reasons for guidelines.

I do want to make clear though, that just because you break a guideline, even in an extreme way, doesn't mean you're kicked off, or even that I show up. There's all kinds of factors & variables. Hell, one of the variables is "am I around?"

I believe I actually detailed 'how' I do things in a thread on the support threads about a month ago. It was around the time when I made my last abrupt interruption on a thread - one where peacesoul became involved as well. I didn't 'call her out' however, she did that on her own. I called everyone 'involved' out, and really just said in a mean voice "knock it off" to everyone in general. But I don't want you soulspirit, or anyone else, to fear hitting the submit button - everyone breaks guidelines by accident or on impulse. I might do it too.

If I stop by, all I ask folks to do, is say, "oops, I'll try to watch that" - - and poof I'm gone. It's so simple. And if you don't agree, then send me an email. Simple again. But trying to bait me into an argument, topping on insults, attacks, calling me a drama loving power queen is so - - well just not the way to go, and not accurate. I want to just smile and wave goodbye... and be gone for a good 6 months!

I know most of us get the point. And if anyone thinks I'm picking on them - - well, if now I'm talking to you directly (rather than just in general), you probably picked yourself. If you keep doing stuff that I ask to stop, and argue w/ me, you've been picked! You're it! I know it's not funny, but even being picked, hell, what am I going to do? Give you some "brutal feedback"? I guess if it's truly brutal, it does hurt. Even people that like that kind of thing don't like mine. I don't like to ramble - at times it feels like I could write 2,000 pages of crap and still not explain 1/2 the crap in my head about this site, but hope it's ok that I just did a little.

I hate what happened w/ peacesoul. It hurts me deeply. It's a loss.

June 16, 2005
6:01 pm
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exoticflower
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SC,Thanks for letting us know even more clearly what we are looking at and what your feelings are on the matters. Hope things are going ok, and that you have not been losing much sleep over recent events, as well as the personal life I'm begining to suspect you may have as well..! Hope things are looking up in other areas, thoughts with you right now.

All, I was having a thought about this today-My daughters four year old cousin was playing with my daughters favorite doll, and was being sort of rough about it and daughter started crying. Cousin says "she won't share', and we mommies tried to explain "No, honey, she WANTS you to enjoy her baby, but seh doesn't want you to break it. You have to be nice to other peoples things so they can keep sharing with you". Just as we where saying it, I thought...aha!

So, from the mouths of babes, or at least form their play habits, right? Let's be nice to AAC so we can all enjoy sharing it. Thanks for sharing, SC.

June 16, 2005
6:44 pm
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SoulSpirit
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SC.... Thank you for being clear about your expectations... I know I appreciate it, and I am sure others do too.

It makes me sad when adults can't "police" themselves, and others have to be backed into a corner and then made the bad guy.

Trust me, I understand, I manage a people business, and it happens to me all the time. I hate wearing that hat, but hey, it is only one of many that hangs on my wall.

I pray everyone here can find the means to communicate in a manner that is conducive to healing, growth, and expression of oneself in a positive way!

June 16, 2005
7:30 pm
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Rasputin
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Dear Site Coordinator,

Thank you for giving us this beautiful cozy place to rally around and comfort each other. I do not have so many friends. Having sweet cyberfriends is like a spiritual spa to me, to heal, grow, advise and be advised by everyone.

I am sorry for the emotional upheavals that took place lately on so many levels. We have been through ups and downs: religions, misunderstanding, over-reaction...etc.

I pray to God that these are the storms that precede sunshine!

In addition, I am sorry for the loss of some members. I hope they will be comforted by some other means.

Site Coordinator! May God bless you richly for providing us with this Spiritual Spa!!!

~Love, Hugs & Prayers~ Rasputin

June 17, 2005
8:40 am
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Juanita
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September 27, 2010
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SC,

Just like in life outside out apartment or home door, we meet all kinds. Unfortunately, not all the people we meet are of like temperment or think similar to the ways in which we think.

I wish everyone could be even tempered and be able to rationally talk things out and compromise. But, sadly, that is not life. It does, however, make us appreciate it all the more when those good or smooth things happen.

Sadly, it is the old, we need the bad to help us remember and appreciate the good.

I just thought it would be nice to speak up for you & this site, and perhaps give some motivation to those unhappy... help them realize they have power to help create changes in their life for the better - even if that means doing a little more work to create a site of their own & not try to change This site into Theirs'...

Best,
J

June 17, 2005
9:51 am
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SoulSpirit
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Juanita... my thinking is so like yours. I participate in a different boards, and it makes me sad to watch people avoid even considering making changes for themselves that can and will change their lives dramatically. Sometimes, making the change does creat more work, and takes a long term conscious effort, but oh the difference in one's life those considerations could make.

I try to diligently to offer my lifes experiences in ways that create food for thought....and then I pray for them... I have learned I can lead a horse to water but I can't make it drink. Watching it dye a slow death of dehydration is sad.

June 23, 2005
2:27 pm
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Anonymous
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SC, I think you are dished way too much crap!!!!

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