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I'm feeling so sick today, my heart just aches.
May 13, 2009
2:40 pm
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Terriberry
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It must be so hard to deal with all of this. The to have the additional attention, from the media, I cant image how this all is.

Grammie, your a sweetie, thanks for you kind words.

Send you both huge hugs!!!!

May 13, 2009
3:06 pm
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peace4all
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((((((((((Healing-and-Peace))))))))))

(((Love to you)))

Grammie

May 13, 2009
3:08 pm
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peace4all
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(((Terriberry)))

What a shame we havent met before...you are a joy...Blessings to you today.
Love in recovery, Grammie

May 13, 2009
3:34 pm
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Terriberry
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Nice to meet you too... and Right back at ya !!!

May 13, 2009
9:32 pm
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I want to say, that you know how much faith you have when you stop and look at your own actions. I was thinking today about adversity, and how every single time I reach out to God he is there!

Not a day goes by that I don't pray even when my life is full of joy, there is always thanks, there is always prayers, but for the past few days now it seems that I am praying even while not even thinking about praying.

My thoughts today were how I got through difficult times in the past, and I realized that while going through the past difficult times I was always asking for strength all day through, all while I'm awake, and I've always been able to heal and get through times like these.

Today I am thanking God for all while asking for his strength... something that I've really never done at the same time, but after really thinking about it today I do feel thankful for all the pain he does heal and has healed, and all the strength he does give. If he wasn't giving me strength at this very moment I wouldn't be able to even be here on this site, I would be in my bedroom trying to sleep the pain away, or not able to talk about it at all.

It is God that is holding me up and has been my entire life, but for now and the past few weeks it is so much GOD that is giving me this strength and allowing me to shed the sorrow I feel to you all and to God.

May 14, 2009
11:43 am
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Terriberry
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Hi ((( HP)))),

Sending you another Psalm, to lift your spirits. May the Lord contuine to comfort you.

You keep posting, and I'm gonna keep praying for you.
God Bless,
tb

Psalm 121

God the Help of Those who seek Him

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

May 14, 2009
11:51 am
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Terriberry
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Re- posting the Psalm, It kinda got a bit jumbled up.

Psalm 121

God the Help of Those who seek Him

I lift up my eyes to the hills—
where does my help come from?
My help comes from the LORD,
the Maker of heaven and earth.

He will not let your foot slip—
he who watches over you will not slumber;

indeed, he who watches over Israel
will neither slumber nor sleep.

The LORD watches over you—
the LORD is your shade at your right hand;

the sun will not harm you by day,
nor the moon by night.

The LORD will keep you from all harm—
he will watch over your life;

the LORD will watch over your coming and going
both now and forevermore.

May 14, 2009
12:39 pm
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peace4all
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(((Healing)))

Because we have shared before I was able to read your paper and now know what happened. It is a horrible thing and I am praying for you but also for his wife to be filled with Gods grace as she goes thru this trama. I think that just maybe you are thinking that it could so easily been your husband and that is what is really troubling you. I am not the know all of everything but that did enter my mind. Please know I care and am thinking of you as you try to be strong once agian in your life. I know that you will find the strength to reach out to this young woman and give her some comfort soon. I know this because I know how very strong you really are. You have climbed mountains and come thru so you will get to the place you want to be soon. Gods blessings being sent your way today.
Love in recovery, Grammie

May 14, 2009
1:14 pm
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peace4all
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(((Healing))))

This is an after thought I am not sure I have shared with you before, if so, it still applies...........

Serenity isn't freedom from the storm.
It's the peace within the storm.....

LOve and God's blessings being sent to you today, and tomorrow and forever

Grammie

May 14, 2009
2:29 pm
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(((Peace4all)))

Yes your so right, I am so upset about what happened to Jason, and of course so concerned for his wife. I'm also concerned for my husband's safty, as I posted above. I feel like maybe he should retire as this isn't the first this year of this happening down here. I believe the numbers are up to 8 now, all the same way.

As you can imagine, now you understand what happened, and all after reading about it. Did you happen to find the news video's on the investigations going on, they called the State of Florida Department in charge of the inspections and they ended up hanging up on the investigator.

My prayers are also to give "Lisa" strength, and healing.

Thank you so much for all your kindness, you are a blessing.

Healing and Peace

May 14, 2009
3:52 pm
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Peace some more after thoughts, the strangest part of this is, the same thing was happening while my husband was training him for nearly 4 years. They were down in the same area, and the same thing started happening and my huaband being in charge calmly explained what to do and how to protect themselves, which they did.

So this is partly why it is so difficult to understand, because he positively knew what to do, he had to have been in such a state of panic for him to even try to get out instead of doing what he had been trained to do, safty is always first in this kind of job, and they have to go to school for 5 years, they are trained over and over again, so it is just so hard to comprehend why.

However, I know the why we will really never know, and I am slowly excepting this one fact.

I had just talked to my husband about my concern for his safty last night, and he understands my concern and all, but at the same time being the sweet man he is, he told me that he is more then careful, and that he feels because Jason was a friend and someone that we got to know so well, that it's most likely why we both have such concern right now, and all in regard to the job it's self... Not that we wouldn't even if we didn't know him because we do know how dangerous it can be, and what a horrible way to go it must be, it's just that it hit very close to home this time.

From watching the media reports, and reading about it, I know they haven't released all because there is a lot that they can't say just yet, because of the investigations. Some of what they haven't reported is truly what really brakes my heart, besides knowing how heart broken his wife is now, and will be for a long time.

The service is Sunday, and I'm hoping and praying that their family will be able to be there for her, and two boys. She truly needs her family right now, so more prayers needed in that regard.

((( Peace ))))

May 15, 2009
3:55 pm
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peace4all
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(((Healing)))

Hey lady, are you aaround today ? I was thinking of you and wanted to let you know your in my prayers. I remember when my sister and my mother died the only thing that held me up and together was the bible quote.....

Absent from the body, present with the Lord...........

I kept saying over and over until I actually began to feel it and believe it...it helps so much to know that they are with the Lord and in no pain what so ever now. I hope you get a little comfort from these words today.
All my love and good positive thoughts and of course prayers are being sent to you today and on sunday.

Love in recovery, grammie

May 15, 2009
5:52 pm
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((Grammie))

I went to the online meeting this morning and realized afterwards that you had said you do the M-thrus.. meetings. It was helpful, just to be at a meeting, something away from the present and read (hear) kindness. I didn't stay until the end of the meeting, had to get somet things done around the house since I've given myself a break.

A family member sent pictures to me via email of part of our vacation because they joined us on the coast for a few days. So it was a wonderful reminder to look at the beauty in life even during these trying times. 🙂 would you look down upon me if I said I feel like turning right back around and going back on vacation and try a do over when I get back... a fresh start again... just kidding, I know, we have to face life sometimes even when it get's difficult we can do it, I think that should be one of the CODA'S slogans, or phrases... "Just do it, but do it one day at a time holding onto our Higher Powers hand".

Did I tell you my sister got an apartment close by where I live? She has come by to see me a few times, she's still all the same, no more drugs, now drinking all the time. It's kind of crazyness when I stop and really look at her, but I'm protecting myself from getting involved with her too much. She can drink and do whatever, and I can still love from my heart, just from a distance if you know what I'm saying... which I'm sure you do, being the wise grammie you are :)!

A few evenings ago her and her boyfriend got into an arguement and she kicked their steel door... so she called me from someone's cell phone and was crying saying she thought she broke her foot... so I picked her up and dropped her off at the hospital, and it was indeed broke... So I called a friend and he set it for her in a cast... and she is now limping around with a dangerous weapon right on her leg... lol... oh well, life goes on... I'll just be the passanger though and let God drive.

May 15, 2009
6:09 pm
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A friend sent a YOU TUBE video if you can locate it, go ahead and watch it, kind of cute.

YOU TUBE
Don't Worry Be Happy Bobby Mc Ferrin [ smile ]

May 15, 2009
8:51 pm
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peace4all
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(((Healing))

First of all, I would never look down on you for anything..life is hard and harder for some so its only human nature to want to excape and turn back the clock to a more pleasent time..Look at your pictures, go back there in your mind and remember the peaceful feeling you had on that vacation, I bet you were full of serenity then...now close your eyes and ask the Lord to fill you with that same peace...He can....and so can you. You have had one thing after another ever since i first met you and you have to give yourself a break, be gentel with yourself, meditate, take a bubble bath, get your hair or nails done if its in the budget, remember what alanon and coda are all about, Self Care....let yourself feel this pain, then remember that this too shall pass, easy does it.... one day at a time... and think about what God promises us in the after-life..Dont be afraid, its ok to feel...feel, deal, heal..and so it goes. And the one thing to do in addition to these things is to write a gratitude list, you cannot feel down after writing one, lol,........
And one more thing for today..lol, I usually go every morning to the meetings but we had to go to the market this morning, I am so sorry I missed you, I would have loved to talked to you....Last sat and yesterday no chair showed so I said..ok.than.. lets have a meeting.lol..and we did. You know I always say I am not sure if my big mouth is an asset or defect...Bet that made you..LOL...Lets see...hmmm, oh yea, one woman said ...all I ever wanted was a normal life...and the other woman said...there is no normal life, just life, so get on with it..OK I am done...
Love in recovery, Grammie

May 15, 2009
10:09 pm
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(((Grammie/Peace4all)))

You do make me smile and laugh, even through some of the past difficult times, you have a way about you.... thank you!

You truly are an asset in my record books.... Lots of love to you

Healing and Peace

May 17, 2009
2:38 pm
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The service was beautiful, with lot's of amazing photo's of him. It was difficult to hear his 2 year old saying "Look their's my Daddy" while the service was going on but on the other hand to look at in through his eyes was inspirational, with him so proudly saying to everyone " Look at my Daddy " flying through the sky while sky diving, and him deep in the ocean while scuba diving, and simply loving and living life.

His life was taken like a theif in the middle of the night steals, but he did not suffer, he did not even have time to see his life coming to an end here on earth. He is with God now, and I know he is at peace.

Healing and Peace

May 18, 2009
10:50 am
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peace4all
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(((Healing)))

Goodmorning, I am happy that the service was nice and I am hoping it has brought some peace to you because I know you have really been hurting. Life is so fleeting and we must try very hard to live each day gratefully, always counting our blessings and understanding that we are only promised "right now" not even this entire day..so with that in mind I believe if we accept the things we cannot change and believe that in our lives we meet many people along the way for a reason..some bring joy and some bring sorrow..so the ones who bring joy, well arent they just a wonderful gift..
Start fresh today, mourn his loss but continue to do all the good deeds that you do and always keep him in your heart..he was one of your gifts.
Yesterday is history.................
Tomorrow is a mystery................
Today is a gift....Thats why we call it the.. Present... Blessings to you today dear girl....talk to u soon..
Love in recovery, Peace4all/ grammie

May 18, 2009
1:22 pm
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(((Peace))))

Thank you, this morning was my daughter's graduation, so it that certainly brought joy. So strange how our week has been, a week ago today Jasson died, then my God son's baby was born, and today our daughter's graduation.

My husband and I briefly talked about it this morning after the graduation, the ups and downs of life all in one week. My daughter looked beautiful and she will do well in all she does, she is one of the most kind, generous, compassionate people I know, and I'm so proud of her!

Would you believe she is going to be a narcotic's agent....none of our son's went into any kind of law enforcement but our youngest daughter was determined that this is what she wanted.

Maybe will see you online this week.

H & P

May 18, 2009
3:06 pm
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Hi HP,

Sending you prayers and glad to hear the service was nice. I am hoping you are finding comfort and blessing from your loved ones.

love and light,

tb

May 18, 2009
5:15 pm
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Thanks (((Terriberry)))

Yes, we are doing a lot better. It helped a lot yesterday, the service was difficult but at the same time comfronting.

Healing and Peace

May 20, 2009
11:29 am
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(((Healing))))

Hey there it's wednesday and how are you doing, tryed to log in last night and no site. I think I would miss you the most if that ever happened.lol Got up this morning too late for the meeting and tryed again and just had to re-log in with name & password so thats good...It is really funny this internet, we start up a friendship with someone we will more than likly never lay eyes on and become somewhat connected and when I thought Oh no..no more H&P I was sad.
hoping that at some time you would show up at a meeting...anyway..this is more about me and not you..sorry..
So are you feeling any better ..I pray so its been tuff for you lately and I know that it hurts your heart..................... My daughter and g/daughter and I had a nice visit last sunday, we are working on healing our relationship ..so here's hopeing this will come to pass. Guess I just needed to talk to you today.lol..no words of wisdom just me sharing and of course careing.....talk to you soon
Love in recovery, Peace4all/ grammie

May 20, 2009
11:51 am
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((((Grammie))))

I feel the same way about you, you truly have been so inspirational to me, and helped me with your kind heart and wisdom many times now. If something ever happened to this site, I would make sure that I stayed in touch with you at the meetings online... So we will remain good friends forever...LOL so you see it is just as much about me as you, simply put it is that connection that we have.

I'm so glad to hear about your daughter and g/daughter coming to visit, and that your working on healing your relationship! How is your daughter doing?

I feel a lot better this week, still took the week off... which I'm glad I did because the service was Sunday, one of my daughter's graduation was Monday, and my another one's birthday was yesterday, so it's been fairly busy, and now I get to relax for the rest of the week. My husband and family will take the two girls out Saturday evening to celebrate with both of them.

Will most likely talk to you online at the meeting tomorrow because we have been getting a lot of rain, and I'd rather just go to the online meeting for this week because of the rain, and I can't wait to talk to you! 🙂 🙂 🙂

Lot's of love to you, Healing and Peace

May 20, 2009
12:28 pm
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(((Healing)))
Your such a sweetheart, thanks for getting back to me so fast. I am so glad that your family has these wonderful things to celebrate at this time...God's infinite wisdom..huh...
My daughter seems to want to let all the things of the past go, as do I, I find as a mother I still want to fix her problems and you know I know better..lol...so for now and for the future..I will continue to work my program and just love and accept her as she is..after all, it's not in my power to change her no matter how much I would like to. She is a beautiful woman in the same field as you were in and a real sweetheart, also the same age as you or close..48. and I do not want to leave this world without her knowing how much I love her...I told her that we can heal if we both try and really want to..so we will see if its successful, I pray so cause she is my only daughter and I adore her...BUT..I have for years been on her about her drinking....but its her choice, isnt it .......Ok enough out of me.....I will try to get up in time for the meeting in the morning.I may be late but I will be there....
Love in recovery. grammie

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