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I'm feeling so sick today, my heart just aches.
May 11, 2009
3:25 pm
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Healing.. and peace
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This morning I was watching tv and locally they came on with breaking news. A man in the same trade as my husband was killed, crushed to death while working. A few friend's right away called me to find out if this man was my husband as they said family has yet to be notified... I called my husband, he was alright but it was another employee and friend, he was crying.. and as heart broken as we all feel.

In the past three weeks this makes three deaths of young adults we know well. I just started the educational funds for the other two that died for their children right before I went on vacation. Now this young man today leaves behind two young boys 2 and 6 years old and a wife. My heart aches today, and I just feel like this can't be.

My heart hurts so much, for his family, and my husband as well. It is so hard to face another funeral and another death so soon after the others.

I feel exhausted, and a feeling I just can't explain... I really just need time for it all to sink in I know, but wanted to say please pray for these family's and friends of our family.

HP

May 11, 2009
3:38 pm
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Terriberry
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Hi HP,

I will pray, for your family & freinds. I pray for strenght for you and your husband, to get through the diffuclt times.

tb

May 11, 2009
4:42 pm
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Thank you Terriberry from the bottom of my heart.

May 11, 2009
4:52 pm
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Terriberry
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Your welcome, HP.

Hope you dont mind me asking but what does your husband do ? Is he in a high risk type of job...., police officer, ..ect. ?

May 11, 2009
4:53 pm
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Your welcome, HP.

Hope you dont mind me asking but what does your husband do ? Is he in a high risk type of job...., police officer, ..ect. ?

May 11, 2009
4:53 pm
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Sorry for the double post.

May 11, 2009
6:43 pm
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Terri,

Yes without going into detail because of identity it is considered to be one of top five most dangerous career. I wish, i could tell you more... but you understand I'm sure.

I want to share what happened so badly but it was such a horrible way to go, I don't think some could handle reading what happened or how.

I can't stop thinking about it, really I keep playing it in my head over and over again. If only he would have done it this way or that way he would still be here.. but he didn't. His reaction was obviously one of panic because he could have simply laid down and he would have been fine. None of us can really understand why he reacted the way he did, but then again no one can really understand death sometimes.

My husband came home early and just keeps shaking his head in disbelief.. he seems to feel the same way as I do right now, kind of in shock. In a way I wish he would retire and I know we could if we sold our home, and moved on... but we are kind of young to retire just yet. Then at the same time my husband's life is more important then his career, and we both know this... It's just so hard right now.

I see death all the time in the work I do, and through my charity but this is so differant when they are friends and people we've done things with, and care about so deeply. Not that I don't care about the patients I see, it's just differant.

Healing and Peace

May 11, 2009
7:26 pm
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Healing and Peace,

I'm praying for you, and this gentleman's family. These things are never easy, nor easy to understand, so very painful. So sorry.
God bless,

omw

May 11, 2009
7:46 pm
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soofoo
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Praying for you, ((((H and P)))). May God bring you peace and comfort in your heart. May you, your husband and all of the family members who are hurting be comforted and held close in God's Love.

May 11, 2009
8:38 pm
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wow glad your husband is OK healing

May 11, 2009
11:07 pm
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Thank you all, I really mean it... more and more is coming out this evening and I'll tell you what happened today was something that truly didn't have to happen.. My husband told me that the exact same situation happened years ago when he was training him... and he knew what do to, he just reacted in a way that wasn't safe in the least bit. If he would have just squated down he may have been stuck for a while but he would have been rescued.. so sad.

Again thank you all, I really mean it. It's getting late here, and I just need to relax and get some sleep.

May 12, 2009
1:16 am
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May the grace of God be with you, your family, your friends, and your loved ones during this most difficult time Healing. Grief grips the heart, your faith will comfort.

free

May 12, 2009
10:53 am
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Hi Healing Peace,

How are things today ? Hope you got a good nights rest ?

May 12, 2009
1:27 pm
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I started to reply a couple times but then I stop because it's really difficult to say how we are all feeling... I didn't sleep to well last night because I just kept thinking about it.

One of my son's just recently moved home because he was laid off from his job, and he came into our room about 3am with a terrible head ache, he was so upset and stressed over what happened, the phone ringing off the hook from friends and family to see how everyone was doing, snd thinking of how it happened, really stressed him out and got to him.

My husband has been quiet about it, he has kept himself very busy today. Kind of his way of dealing with this for now. Somehow in the midst of all this yesterday, no one was able to get in touch with "Jason's" wife until yesterday evening when she called asking if anyone had heard from him. I can understand her not hearing or seeing it on the news because their children are so young she probably never even saw the news, in the morning or afternoon... I'm a little shocked that no one right away went to their home, as someone should have done this right away. But maybe one department thought the other went to talk to her.

Their entire family lives up north, and she just lost her job so I'm going to go over their this evening. I'm hoping that her family is here but I just don't know, and feel she needs people around to help her with the kids, and offer as much support as we all can give.

Thank you again for all your prayers, like I said before it was probably one of the most horrible ways you could imagine on how it happened but we have to face it, we have to deal with it, and we all need the strength espeacailly his wife "Lisa". So when your praying I'm asking to please pray for her, and all those that knew him, we were all like family to him, and his family. So it weighs heavy on all of our hearts, not only ours but on all of those that knew him, and cared about him, is boys, and his wife.

Healing and Peace is what we all need to get through this loss.

Healing and Peace

May 12, 2009
2:27 pm
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Sending you comforting hugs and prayers ((( HP)))).

I am so sorry, for your pain and heavy heart. I pray God comfort all involved. I hope in the mist of this tragdy you find GOD's grace. I will contuine to pray, for all of you.

I agree, with you that maybe others thought somebody, else was going to tell his wife. It sounds like he was very well loved and will be deeply missed. How old was he ? How about the childern he is leaving behind, how old are they..?

I'm sure HP, you dont feel very strong right now. But I have to say,
it speaks volumes, that even through your own pain in these losses you are faithful in reaching out to others. Going to help, his wife and family... is a wonderful idea.

I will contuine to pray God comfort all involved. I hope in the mist of this tragdy all involved find GOD's grace. I will contuine to pray, for all of you.

(((( HP)))))! Keep posting and talking this threw, as hard as it is, it will help you to process all of this.

love and light,
tb

Proverbs 3:5

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.

May 12, 2009
2:55 pm
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Thank you so much Terri, your right it does help to process some of it, and face it as well.

He "Jason" was 31, his wife is 28, and his two adorable son's are 2 and 6. They look exactly like their daddy, they have the same curley hair as he did.. and same personality in so many ways even as young as they are you can see him in them.

I really think if it did't happen the way it did it would be somewhat easier, but maybe not. Maybe just too much in such a short amount of time too. On easter another friend co-worker of my husband passed away, leaving a young daughter, and wife. Then two weeks ago a young mom (another friend) was riding and she fell off her horse at the show grounds and the horse accidently stepped right on her chest killing her instantly. My oldest daughter was there when it happened, and of course we all were devasted to hear that this happened to her. Now this accident with Jason just seems too much to carry alone, I know and I think you know I do have so much faith in God, and I know he will help us through these difficult times, but I also know how much it means to reach out to others in time of need.

My faith and belief has given me the wisdom to know it is so alright to reach out to people, to ask for help and offer help. Like you, and like many on this site, I think we deep down know spirit when we speak to each other even know it is through these postings, you can sense a person's true spirit.

I've read it in many post on this site, and many times I don't say anything at all, and just take it in, and leave the rest.

Thank you again, I'm leaning on our father's shoulder, and know this is what will help me stand again strong. I also know it is alright to feel weak, and ask for help. I'm thankful to have people like you, and many others on here to talk to, it's kind of hard to put on a smile today, so I didn't go to work, or go see any of the patients, but I'll go back next week. As difficult as this loss is, I know it will teach me more, and give me even more compassion to give to others.

Healing and Peace

May 12, 2009
3:44 pm
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(((HP))),

Wow he was young. So are his childern. This will be so incrediably hard for his wife.

I just had a freind die a week ago, that was unexpected. Unexpected death is always a shock. Do you know if he was a believer ? I couldn't agree with you more, when you say, "we deep down know the spirit when we speak to each other even through these posting." Yes you can sense a person's true spirit.

Did you know it's that "take what you a like and leave the rest behind" is a saying in Alnon. I agree, that is the best way to look at some of the posting.

It is wonderful, to know your drawing close to our father in heaven. As you do he will, renew your strength. I always think of Psalms 91 when I am overwhemed with difficult times. I am thankful for people like you too. It's ok, not to put that smile on today. It's ok, to be sad, and mourn, and greive the losses. The more you try to avoid it, and push it away... the longer it will take to process.

I pray his guidance and direction, will fill you, so you handle things with your husband and family as God wills. I pray that he he fill your heart & mind and all suffering for these lossses with God's peace that surpasses all understanding. May he supply you everything that is needed to help, lift up these greiving families as well as your own. May compassion, and comfort and sernerity abound, for you all.

Take some time for you during all this, HP.

I am sending you one of my favorite Psalm's. My hope is it will comfort and refresh you.

Psalm 91
1 He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High
will rest in the shadow of the Almighty.

2 I will say of the LORD, "He is my refuge and my fortress,
my God, in whom I trust."

3 Surely he will save you from the fowler's snare
and from the deadly pestilence.

4 He will cover you with his feathers,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his faithfulness will be your shield and rampart.

5 You will not fear the terror of night,
nor the arrow that flies by day,

6 nor the pestilence that stalks in the darkness,
nor the plague that destroys at midday.

7 A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand,
but it will not come near you.

8 You will only observe with your eyes
and see the punishment of the wicked.

9 If you make the Most High your dwelling—
even the LORD, who is my refuge-

10 then no harm will befall you,
no disaster will come near your tent.

11 For he will command his angels concerning you
to guard you in all your ways;

12 they will lift you up in their hands,
so that you will not strike your foot against a stone.

13 You will tread upon the lion and the cobra;
you will trample the great lion and the serpent.

14 "Because he loves me," says the LORD, "I will rescue him;
I will protect him, for he acknowledges my name.

15 He will call upon me, and I will answer him;
I will be with him in trouble,
I will deliver him and honor him.

16 With long life will I satisfy him
and show him my salvation."

May God Bless you !!!

May 12, 2009
4:33 pm
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(((((Healing)))))

Oh sweetie, I am so so sorry for your loss. The The will of God will never take you where the Grace of God will not protect you...I know these are just words and I also know your strong faith so I know you will be fine after awhile. I cannot even begin to say that I understand what you are going through right now, it would sound trite but please know I do care. I understand altho that you must be feeling overwhelmed at this time and all I can do is pray for you and your family and of course this young mans family. Death is such a mystery and we cannot always wrap our minds around it when its someone so young. All I know is all I believe and that is, that God will bring you through this in his time. We have shared many personal things here and at meetings and the one thing I know about you is your faith will carry you. You are a kind soul and a sweet spirit when you reach out to so many others. Please remember to give some of that kindness back to yourself, dont let this rob you of your Serenity..you have worked too hard for it. I am sending my love and prayers to you today and in the next few weeks as I am sure you need all the love you can find...Take care sweet girl and always remember...He is in Control and we must for our survival...accept what we cannot change..
Love in recovery, Grammie

May 12, 2009
7:44 pm
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(((Terri))) (((Grammie)))

I will post later on, I'm going to lay down for a while... I really need to get some rest.

May 12, 2009
9:46 pm
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Terri - Thank you so much for reminding me of the truths... and the word as it is, I need to be reminded in times like this... your a sweet heart.

Grammie - I was so tired when I read your post, I wanted to say thank you and reply to you but I also truly needed to lay down for a while.

When I laid down, my mind was still thinking and I kept thinking about the fear "Jason" must have been feeling..while he knew his head was going to be crushed in a space that he just could not get out of in time, then I started to cry, thinking about all of it... the why's, the how's, the everything.. Then that familar feeling, that familar soft voice, the one I know many of us can hear and do hear - he is in peace "He is in Peace". The comfort feeling came over me, the knowing "he is at peace", and was even before it happened. As for his wife, his little boys, and for those of us that he leaves behind we will heal and we will never forget the lessons he taught us, even in his death there are lesson's. There is so much to learn from death from people that cross our paths. Some people stick around for a long life time, some are here to teach us something, some come into our life and then move on but we learn from everyone weather they are alive or die.

Jason was a gift from God, our paths crossed for a reason, and sometimes we can become blind to this during painful experiences in life, but I know with all my heart that many of us can see, and have been blessed even through the difficult times we are being blessed. This I know, and nothing can truly take this comfort away, it hurts my heart deeply, and it will take time to heal but I know my eyes and heart are open to the love and comfort God has for each of us. Even from many of you on here, I'm being taught, I'm learning something important, I believe he has sent each of us to this site, and I have met many people here that I feel are gifts and comfort just for me, and for each other. We have to remember to open our hearts especailly in times like this, sometimes I take for granted all the blessings I have in my life and in times of great need like this, I have to remind myself it is then that God hold us up. We can lean on him, and rely on his promises, and this gives me comfort.

I'm not saying that it is not difficult, because it is, and I know it will take time. Thank you so much to all of you, right now, I'm feeling a bit rested, a bit better just reading what you have to say, and I know I will continue to lean on you as blessings from God.

Healing and peace

Healing and Peace

May 13, 2009
1:23 pm
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Hi HP,

I'm so sorry to hear your struggling with the images of Jason's last moments.
I can completely relate. I was with my Mom when she died, 2 yrs. ago and I understand how thinking about those last moments can be extremely painful. At first when those moments surfaced, I use to try and just push them down. But they always re-surfaced.

So, finally I got to the point I knew God would help me deal with the pain, and comfort me through it. He did, and Once I just dealt with, and cried my way through them. I started to see that time as not only the time she died, and left me.

But it was also the time she went to be with Jesus, and that brought me comfort knowing that I was able to witness, her being ushered in to his loving hands.
I pray in time, you will be able to see that for Jason, as well. And be able to share that truth with your husband to be able to comfort him.
Where you able to see his wife, and kids, yesterday? How did it go?

I love your thoughts about being directed to this site, And the people we find, here as a gift from God. Because I see it the same way.
We sure do have an amazing God that is in control of all.

Keep posting as time allows.
Know you and your family are in my continued prayers.
tb

May 13, 2009
1:24 pm
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Hi HP,

I'm so sorry to hear your struggling with the images of Jason's last moments.
I can completely relate. I was with my Mom when she died, 2 yrs. ago and I understand how thinking about those last moments can be extremely painful. At first when those moments surfaced, I use to try and just push them down. But they always re-surfaced.

So, finally I got to the point I knew God would help me deal with the pain, and comfort me through it. He did, and Once I just dealt with, and cried my way through them. I started to see that time as not only the time she died, and left me.

But it was also the time she went to be with Jesus, and that brought me comfort knowing that I was able to witness, her being ushered in to his loving hands.
I pray in time, you will be able to see that for Jason, as well. And be able to share that truth with your husband to be able to comfort him.
Where you able to see his wife, and kids, yesterday? How did it go?

I love your thoughts about being directed to this site, And the people we find, here as a gift from God. Because I see it the same way.
We sure do have an amazing God that is in control of all.

Keep posting as time allows.
Know you and your family are in my continued prayers.
tb

May 13, 2009
1:32 pm
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opps.... double clicked a little to fast. 🙂

May 13, 2009
1:48 pm
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((Terriberry)))
What a beautiful response you just sent to Healing, it actually gave me some comfort that I hadn't even known I needed, The Lord does truly work in mysteris ways, his wonders to behold.
I am very sure that Healing found alot of comfort in your words, she is a woman of Faith. Bless you today Terri and I hope to talk to you again.
Love in recovery, Peace4all/ grammie

(((Healing)))
My sweet friend, please know my heart aches for you right now. The thoughts can be overwhelming at times after such a tramatic death occurs and all you can do ..is cry, pray, and ask for strength from our Father right now. I am holding you in my arms right now hugging you and letting you know that in time..This too shall pass.. All my prayers are coming your way..and its a long way 🙂 Be well sweet girl and remember that everything takes time, grive the way you want and feel whatever you need to feel. God is with you all the way, Always..you know this.
Love in recovery, Grammie

May 13, 2009
2:13 pm
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I didn't go over there last night because I didn't feel that I was strong enough last night.... I'm planning on going over to see her this evening. The media will not leave her alone, they were actually asking her last night on the news who she blames for this... first of all no one has told her what happened, and she still doesn't know what happened, because the State, and investigations will not allow the information to be released yet. This upsets me so much, she has so many questions, and she wants to know, she was crying so hard, they showed the video of their wedding, which was while sky diving...while they were interviewing her. She kept saying over and over again, I don't blame anyone, how can I, I don't have time to blame anyone, my mind can only think of him and my boys, I want my husband back. I broke again while watching it on the news, and then again this morning I was on a business call and the lady asked me if I could meet with her this week, so I started to say no, and why.... by that time we were both crying, and I was cousoling her... hah, is that not the codependant in me or what!

Thank you so much both of you, (((Grammie & Terri)))

Believe me I am excepting your hugs and prayers, your prayers are needed, and I'm thankful for all your prayers everyday.

Healing and Peace

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