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how to manage relations with parents in case of opposite mindsets
December 27, 2005
12:40 pm
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dreams
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hi everyone
i am a 25 year old fairly mature and educated male....
at the moment i am going through a complicated situation in my family...i am willing to marry a girl who is not in my caste(i belong to a country where caste system is still very strong.she and me both are very ambitious and are in love with each other..it has been 7 years now..
in brief the roblem is my parents dont accept this marriage...and i am getting married to her soon..
now i am in the stage where i feel a knot is coming in the thread of relationship with my parents....
i read an interesting line lately....SOMETIMES THERE ARE RIGHT REASONS TO DO A WRONG THING.....i know i am doing wrong from there point of view....i need some views on such a situation ..
aal views are welcome...i hope i can think in a new dimension..
love to everyone

December 27, 2005
1:43 pm
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eve
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Hi dreams,

you are in a difficult situation and I hope that you will find a good solution to your problem.

For me it is very hard to give you advice, for my culture ist very different from yours. I would consider different aspects of the situation:

Will you be able to live happyly with your wife, and with your future family, or will you get problems (from other people than your parents) because this marriage is outside your caste? How long would these problems last?

What does the rest of your family think about it? Is it just your parents that disagree, or would your marriage be like a divorce from your family? Would you be able to bear that?

Can you do anything to convince your parents that this woman is worthy of you, even if she is in a different caste? Could your priest help you there, or will they take the side of your parents?

December 28, 2005
1:17 pm
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dreams
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thanks eve
i am sure we both will make a good WE....it wont be a permanent divorce..but yes can be upto 1 year or till we have kids....priest is not an issue..court marriage is possible...i mean to do is no issue..but surely ur comments will help..
thanks
dreams

December 28, 2005
1:17 pm
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dreams
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thanks eve
i am sure we both will make a good WE....it wont be a permanent divorce..but yes can be upto 1 year or till we have kids....priest is not an issue..court marriage is possible...i mean to do is no issue..but surely ur comments will help..
thanks
dreams

December 28, 2005
1:19 pm
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dreams
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to eve
and yes i have tried every possible way of communicating it to my dad..the girls family is happy..my mom is cool...just my dad is very conservative....he is very eduactd but is stubborn on mindset....he loves me a lot as well..but he is short tempered..so commuincation is tough to do after a while...
keep me posted thanks

December 29, 2005
1:06 pm
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kathygy
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dreams,

Give priority to what YOU want, not what your father wants. You are the captain of your ship. You have to live in your own skin, your father does not.

In time your father may come around.

You are an adult and free to choose to live your life the way you want it.

If you go along with your father's wishes how would you feel? I suspect resentful and angry. Be true to yourself first and foremost!

December 29, 2005
6:09 pm
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guest_guest
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dreams, I think there is no other alternative than to be tough on your dad, maybe talk to him gently that you have your own life to live and he has his own and if he loves you, he should accept you for what makes YOU happy. Dont let anyone come in between you and your wishes. There is really no other way about it. No other way. If your father still doesnt care about your happiness, then its time for you to stop caring for him as well and give a damn about him. it will be tough but you have to do it and move on with your life. Life is short.

December 30, 2005
1:48 pm
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dreams
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dear friends
i am really up spirited by all ur responses and point of views..i am laready on the track and hope fully within a month i can post u all the news of my marriage...
wish u all abeautifull new year..
may all ur dreams get their dates
love puru
i read the other day...
THE BIGGEST RISK IN LIFE IS NOT TO TAKE A RISK AT ALL

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