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Hi! It's Good To Be Back!
October 9, 2006
5:31 pm
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LA Rosa
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HI THERE!

To the many of you who have never heard of me, my name is La Rosa and it seems like quite a while since I've been here.....way back in 2004!

I'd like to apologise for the way in which I left. You can be sure it wasn't as I would've liked it, without a peep, just here one minute and gone the next. I think it may have had something to do with 'burnout' or the effects of 'grief' or perhaps even a 'minor nervous breakdown' or something similar. Whatever it was though, I am very sorry for my sudden disappearance, for causing any unneccessary concern and/or emotional distress, especially for my friends. My judgement must have been impaired at the time, that's for sure.... and so I've returned to be with you again, to join you in my personal quest for deeper understanding and self-growth.

Anyway, I was definitely settling for less than I deserved, when I settled without AAC.

-----It's good to be back!-----

Very Best Wishes,

La Rosa

October 9, 2006
7:40 pm
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Hello Zinnie!!

It is lovely to see you again my friend! You've been in my thoughts often and always in my heart....along with my little mate LOUD, of course.

I'm so pleased to have this opportunity to get back to you again, and there was never really any doubt in my mind that I would be wise to return.

I actually did attempt to at one stage but for some reason I cannot explain, I couldn't get through! It seemed as though AAC may have been going through some sort of facelift, starting to use cookies? .... and as you know my little pseudo-computer 'surfboard', isn't up to the likes of those little rascals. They'd probably munch-munch-munch me right out of cyber-space, in a fast hurry. It seems as though I must have been mistaken though, maybe I could've been having technical problems, as the 'ihug surfboard' I'm using now is a new one.

Anyway Zinnie, as I keep saying, it certainly is good to be back! I hope you've been taking good care of yourself.....& Little Red Loud, of course.

See You Soon ((((Zinnie))))

Love

La Rosa

October 9, 2006
9:01 pm
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Worried_Dad
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Welcome back La Rosa!

Well, sometimes people just need to take a break.

It is cool that some of the old familiar...nicknames are still around.

Including of course, the mighty Zinnigan.

Z-I-Double-N-I...G-A-N spells Zinnigan...

October 10, 2006
1:05 am
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LA Rosa
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To my dearly and most highly regarded and respected ((Worried Dad))

Big Thank You......

......and just incase I haven't ever told you that it's great to see you again - 'Hey Daddy....It's great to see You again!!'

Yes indeed WD, it's so very COOOL to see some of the old familiar.... nicknames! The mighty 'ZINNI-GAN' being such a mighty wonderful cool gal..... understood!

Bye-Bye For Now Worried Dad,

La Rosa

October 10, 2006
2:49 am
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Hi La Rosa,

Well, for me, as a controversial and (as best I can tell widely disrespected, ridiculed and despised AAC poster) it is pleasant to hear from someone who (for reasons totally unknown to me) seems to like me.

I'm never sure who I am going to alienate next.

Like, I worry that a certain Z person might not like it that I sometimes walk around (even at work) doing a James Cagney impression of an actual Irish American (which I am) singing a song praising the superhuman virtues of a certain person whose name may or not begin with the letter Z.

And then there is the "J" person whose song I am working on is even more sickeningly sweet. I use West Side Story as my source for that melody.

I have to do it, I do it, and nobody can stop me. There. I said it and I'm glad.

Oh, there are so many AAC postewrs who are doomed to have pretty or silly or sometimes songs written for them by me. My standard treatment is to use a classic pre-existing song.

I am the Wierd Al of psychotherapy.

My only hope is that they never hear the songs I write for them. About them. Never, ever, They might get mad. Ummm. But I really like the Zinnegan one. It's so appropriate.

I think I am allowed. To write fancifal lyrics set to popular or original music about my AAC friends.

I am allowed. It's not against the guidelines. And it feels so good.

October 10, 2006
6:37 am
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LA Rosa
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Delightfully Controversial - Worried Dad - in creative mode......

.....and can I see a bi' o' the Irish peepin' through there.....or what?!

Nice One WD!!

La Rosa cracking up. 🙂 🙂 🙂 🙂

October 11, 2006
9:46 am
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LA Rosa
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Hello Vinnie,

I'm finally back with an bit of an update to let you know how I am, or at least to give you an insight into where I'm coming from after the long absence. There will be other things later, but to begin......

The little voices telling me that I haven't got what it takes, will never be worthy of cutting the mustard with those who really matter.....etc etc. have been a struggle. I don't really believe them thouh! Although I do have concern to doubt. I just hope I'm not using denial as a coping strategy. Now that is a bit of a concern. Mmmm?

The doctor who now replaces my doctor (who's now retired) wants to talk to me about the possibility of going on antidepression medication. That will be interesting! Otherwise my health has been holding up OK..... which I am gratful for, but really aught to appreciate more.

Fortunately the good news is, I keep telling myself that if I really put my mind to do something, I'll be at least capable enough to make some sort of improvement. It can be a bit of a struggle, trying to keep from slipping into the throws of despair at times. I'm on to it though...... and it's very reassurring to know that I'm still wanting to be friends with me. Yes, I'll try to make a point of reminding myself of that - much more often - as it did bring on a smile and feels soo like a good idea.

There has been absolutely no contact with the narcissist that I lived with for a year. The after effects are not so prominant now - more of a memory rather than a replay. There's little hope left of him ever understanding what had actually happenned - from my perspective, in the futile hope that he could show some remorse and empathy. Not an issue! I don't care anymore whether he knows or not....it really doesn't matter to me. It's not 'all' completely over though, as I am now aware that I am still afraid of him (to some extent), because only a few weeks ago, when I realised that the ranchslider had been left open late one night, a horrible sense of raw fear gripped me......and I felt in real danger. What if perhaps he was actually already in here with me.....hiding..... just waiting for the right moment to strike?!!!

That brought it all flooding back.....and as far as I am aware this man lives on the other side of the world! Surely he wouldn't come after me?! Of course not! Well...I tentatively searched the whole house, just to be sure. It was scary though. So that just came from out of the blue and really surprised me. I certainly didn't see that one coming!!

No news from my son Willie. It doesn't appear that I'll ever hear from him again. My heart is breaking and I am so worried and confused..... it is like torture! Those infamous words -'If Only'- jump out at me every day. If Only he would pick up the phone. If Only he would write.... but alas no. That is the saddest story. The only positive on that front is that I've begun receiving statements of his financial transactions with a major stockbroking company - so I believe he is still alive. So I guess there is still hope.

My little light at the end of the tunnel, so to speak......is that I still have confidence that I owe it to myself to find my way through these storms of life.....somehow. I believe Scott Peck hit the nail on the head when he said that 'life is difficult'. He also says.... it's only the people who believe that it's supposed to be easy who think it's difficult. Well, I never thought it would be that way either!! So.....more hope! It also means some real effort needs to be applied on my part and is the big challenge that faces me, as always. I am digging to find the strength within to get rid of some irrational beliefs that still are intent on holding me back...... but their days are numbered. That is not irrational!

Thank you Zinnie for having kept me so long in your prayers..... you are my friend. Do not concern yourself, I am getting there....one day at a time. I'll be thinking of You Zinnie. So until later.......

Love,

La Rosa

October 11, 2006
10:11 am
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LA Rosa
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OH ZINNIE!!

Please try your very hardest to overlook that terrible error. You know I didn't mean it..... you are not Vinnie. What a blunder! :{

Take care,

La Rosa

October 12, 2006
4:56 pm
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Hey Worried Dad!

Do not be so surprised to know that there are many people who think highly of You. Just for the record....I've just come out and told You something that I've always felt/thought but hadn't mentioned in the past not directly anyway...... that I regarded you very highly and respected You......and You know what? It felt so good. 🙂

There I've said it!

Do you want to know 'why'?!

Well WD, there are quite a few reasons actually. Your sense of humour definitely being one of them. You are gracious, caring, understanding, intelligent, knowledgable, talented and extremely endearng, just off the top of my head. A combination of qualities that really do mean you are some guy!! Most of the time I agree with you as well. Of course I like you!

Bye-Bye for now WD,

La Rosa

October 12, 2006
11:03 pm
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LA Rosa
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Hi Zinnie,

I do hope you've been feeling well lately and that life is being kind to You & Yours. It's good to see You so busy and on the go......just hope that you're taking care of yourself and I'm looking forward to your return.

Back again now with the continuing story of the update, for yourself and those of you who may be interested.

Since 2004 there has been a marked improvement, in the communication department, between my younger sister and myself. We have become closer.... discussing our feelings and childhood experiences, where-as in the past there seemed to have been some sort of a barrier. It has been very enlightening and indeed empowering, to discover that we actually share many similar views in common...... particularly concerning our mother, who does appear to have narcissistic traits.

With all the research that I've been doing regarding narcissists, it seems that I may have helped her clarify and heal some of her own self-esteem issues....... along with mine too in the process. We get on together even better than I thought we would or could and it's quite touching to realise that we 'do' share a special bond after all.

How I could ever have ever doubted that isn't so very difficult to understand. I've concluded that it may have something to do with 'mother's' influence. For many years 'mother' has compared the relationship between my sister and myself and brother as well, to her own relationships with her own sisters and brothers. Naturally, we could never compare. Times were different then, their circumstances were different than ours. They lived within close proximity of each other and without telephones, when little get-togethers had become the norm..... and there were also a lot more of them. My relationship with my sister has really always been OK..... perhaps just a little nurturance required, but fine for the most part. It's nice to be rid of the doubt.

Unfortunately, my mothers health has been steadily declining in the past couple of years and I can't help but sympathize..... there's so much she has missed, so much of the important stuff that has eluded her. I think I'm finally beginning to forgive her.

In his wisdom, going back about thirteen years when Willie was about twenty, after he could see I'd spent the afternoon in the company of mother, he told me to just remember that she loves me in her own way. It was enough to make me want to cry - still does - only for very different reasons though.

Whatever could Willie be thinking to cause his decision to avoid me?? One day, hopefully, we will be able to sort this one out and re-establish our relationship. I cannot believe it's because he'd intensionally want to rob me out of my lifes savings - that I'd temporarily and unwisely entrusted to him. One day, I feel that that question will be answered. Until then, life must go on.......

Must go for now Zinnie. It just seems to take me such a long time to express certain things, at times. I'll catch up further soon. My very best wishes are with You.

Love,

La Rosa

October 14, 2006
12:10 pm
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LA Rosa
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Hello Zinnie,
Hoping that you're having a lovely day and all going well for you.

This is to finally bring me up into the present tense....that gives you quite some detail that I thought was relevant to mention. So please get yourself comfy......

I felt quite good about myself up till the age of thirteen, and had much to offer. That was in the days before the car accident in which I was thrown off my bike, when I was as 'normal' as could be......with a high academic ability at school, leadership qualities and confidence. Before the little gash to my head that had required some stitches, had resulted in my having epileptic seizures - due to some scar-tissue. Those were and are the days I remember fondly of being proud of myself.

Ironically, I'd also prayed to God to please protect me from ever suffering from epilepsy, before this accident, when my mother and I had witnessd Peter, who was lodging with us, have a grandmal siezure. It was a severe one, and he was taken to hospital. Unbeknownst to me, he had also, subsequently, been asked to leave. My mother told me, when I'd inquired as to how he was and where he was, that "He should've said that he suffered from epilepsy." Well! I'm just so very pleased to say, that even at the age of ten years, I didn't agree with her on that decision, but was in no position to put up any debate over it.... and it had already been done by that time anyway. Not that I could've really changed the outcome....but I had an opinion, and it was an important one, as this was definitely an issue!! It needed some contemplation before any words were spoken. I had already asked God to protect me from ever having epilepsy, just incase..... and could not help but feel compassion for 'Peter' the lodger, who's only fault was to not mention that he suffered from epilepsy. It was a sad day, in my mind, when even my own parents had taken such a harsh stance.....and especially the callous way in which Mum had.

So, after the accident that resulted in my having epilepsy - then the big question was, "How is Mum going to look at ME now? Now that 'I' have epilepsy." Just as I had dreaded and expected, unfortunately, I'd gotten it soo right. My first thought, after hearing the news of the first seizure, was all connected with mother and her acceptance and approval. "Why did I have to have 'this' happen to me?" I hadn't asked God for anything apart from that!

Sense of identity took a nose-dive, as practically overnight I'd become a problem and a shame, never expected to ammount to very much.... at least definitely not in my mothers' eyes. That's how it felt. For many many years I'd tried to gain back her approval, but to no avail. That was that.....and I'd been catagorised!

I must've listened to her too intently perhaps. It wasn't encouraging to keep hearing her tell me that it was a shame about the accident - that I wouldn't be able to do or be, all that I could've and/or would've been.... had it not been for an intoxicated driver. It wasn't much of a comfort to hear her say in later years, the classic one....."You haven't had much of a life, have you?".....and it 'always' caught me off-guard....I'd be really dumbfounded. One time, there was an exeption, and I tried to take her through it in a logical manner, as this was something I really wanted and needed her to understand! After I finished explaining, it was as if she hadn't heard a word. It was IMPORTANT!!.... yet it just went in one ear - and out the other! I'd often noticed some weird stuff from her before, but this was just more confirmation that I was correct in being concerned - but what was it??!

Another favourite was, "It wasn't your fault." Well,Geee, I ALREADY KNEW THAT!! It wasn't as though I'd been blaming myself for it - I'd remembered exactly 'what' and 'how' it had happenned!! - and 'she' knew 'I' knew!! Oh well, it was something, I suppose.

Typically though, my dad got the real brunt of it. "Why did you let 'her' go to the shop on the bike??!!" "If I'd been here it would never have happenned!"...... and of course that was, and still is, complete and utter RUBBISH!!

It was all getting too much, and life at home was not a happy place. That's when along came my first proposal of marriage, at the tender age of sixteen..... Yes, sweet sixteen - and just a couple of months after leaving high school.

I recalled my dad reassuring me that I shouldn't worry too much about my lowered school results. "Because after-all, I'd probably meet someone and get married." he'd said. "What?!" I replied to that, "Do mean to tell me that I've been wasting my time at school?! Does that mean it's only important for my two brothers to do well at school?!" I'd exclaimed, because I was genuinely shocked and couldn't really believe what I'd just heard my dad say......I didn't realise then that he'd only been trying to comfort me. Mmmmmm

So anyway, a year later, I married the man who told me he loved me and had proposed to me. He was very nice and easy-going as well, and a little bit romantic too. It did seem like Dad was right after-all, and it all seemed to be a very good idea at the time. Why put it off the inevitable? Not to even mention how much more enjoyable life would be away from mother.

My parents were naturally opposed to letting me get married so young - BUT - obviously they couldn't even work together to stop it..... and when I offerred to pay for the wedding myself - out of the insurance money from the accident. That was it! I was getting married!!

As soon as the week-long honeymoon was over.....it was back to reality!
Sex had become an obligation, something he was entitled to..... according to what he'd been told at the catholic school for boys. I'd heard about conjugal rights before, and that there was truth to it. 'Ah!So this is what it's all about?' I wondered. 'So this is what it all comes down to?' Unfortunately, it wasn't as though I was into sex.....I was still trying to figure out what the big deal was anyway. It was definitely over-rated in my opinion, and I couldn't see how anyone in their right mind would seriously consider sex to be any reasonable or respectful measure of how much someone loves someone else..... 'especially' when mutuality was not even given the respect it deserves and needs. No mutuality was and still would be, a 'major' turnoff for me. Yuck!!! There was no-one to talk to about it eiher.

OK - in our case we didn't actually love each other, but even so. Years later, I was told that he'd only married me for the sex!! Oh Yes, and because he felt sorry for me! Also, because he really had no choice anyway, 'cause otherwise I would've left him!! No kidding!!!

The whole complexion of our relationship had changed completely after only one week of our being married......and that is literally as soon as the honeymoon was over. We separated three years later, when Willie was a baby. There was no way I was going to let him be exposed to all the arguing and strain and unhappiness that was certainly looking very probable. No, that just wasn't going to happen! If he hadn't shown any signs of wanting to be a responsible, caring parent - at least
- then I'd be packin' a bag and walking......with Willie in his pram. ....and that's exactly what I did do.

I'm ashamed to say that I didn't and haven't had enough strength of character, or whatever's required, to be able to break completely away from him. Even though I know I shouldn't be too self-critical, and that there was a very real reason. It's still something that makes me feel very shameful, among other things. Good news is I'm resolved to get rid of that irrational emotion. I don't need it....and has never been good for me.

When I escaped from the N, with just enough money for my plane fare back to New Zealand, he took me in. Yes, he did. It would seem that I actually do have much to thank him for.....but then again, when put in true context, much more reason not to. No he isn't a bad man, exactly, BUT he sure doesn't have any idea about relationships. Sounds funny coming from me?! Well, he could contact his son...IF...he wanted to!! IF he was concerned about his son's disappearance. ---I KNOW THAT I CERTAINLY AM!---

It's quite amazing how I can live here with him - in a platonic style situation.....NO SEX!! Quite amazing too, how little objection he made when I told him I would not stay here if it meant having to have sex with him! Like, not for just a week, not for just a month, not for just a year but never!! That is the way it is - and he actually does prefer to have me around, even if it is just for the company.....it would seem.

It's also good to be here incase there's any news from or about my son, as this is the contact address he definitely knows of and has used before...... and that brings us to the conclusion of the not too basic update.

As you can see, I still have some work left to be done. It would be made so much more harder without some feedback. That is one thing I do not have over here, being in this situation.....and THE big way in which AAC has comes to my aid.

Love,

La Rosa

October 20, 2006
2:57 pm
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LaRosa, I just quickly read this. Haven't been on here as much again. I usually just check in to see if I need to respond to anyone. Many times I don't know what to say since my story was told a long time ago. And we are where we are in our growth, that I know. Sometimes a person can throw ideas out there, but if one isn't ready to accept or consider them they will not be worth much. I don't really have anything to add and I know this was posted for Zinnie who has been very busy lately. I miss her, too, but I'm happy for anyone who can be that active and enjoy what they're doing. I hope you will continue posting and not be discouraged. Everything in its own time, you know, and I know you're a very intelligent person. Have certainly helped me in the past, too. Take care, okay. Hugs.

October 20, 2006
4:52 pm
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Dearest La Rosa,

Please, please, please - do not think I have been ignoring you or this thread.

I have been super busy with a new job. My health seems to be holding it's own in the cancer arena. However, now? I am completely bedridden with... the common cold!

So, I am not on at all right now. Something today told me to look at this thread and I'm glad I did.

I so look forward to catching up with you. I will try to do so over the weekend.

For now, just imagine this - the little red LOUD dog has a new canine brother... The Inspector - or as we call him sometimes Bubba, as he is a little on the tubby side. Cute as can be, and LOUD is his absolute hero.

Anyway, starting to fade fast... but, I will get back to you soon.

I have missed you terribly, and I'm so very happy to see you.

With much Texas love...

Z.

October 21, 2006
12:03 am
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Z, Take care, okay. Sorry, you are down with a cold and hope you'll be feeling better soon. Love and Hugs.

October 21, 2006
7:29 am
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Hi Tumbleweed,

It's lovely to see you. Big Thank You for Your thoughtful vote of confidence and encouraging support. I do appreciate it a lot. By the way, Tumbleweed, please know that You are more than welcome to come on in.... anytime. Let me explain about this thread.....

Zinnie was so surprised to see me again, asking if it really was me, and wanting to know how I was(sound familiar?), it really did feel so very good to be back (still does), hence the title 'HI! It's Good To Be Back!' Although written for Zinnie, however, it became entangled in my aplology and some probably unnecessary insight into my past, for those who don't know me yet. I especially hope that Zinnie can understand the dilemna that I'd gotten myself caught up in.....which I somehow felt she would. I just hadn't expect to feel so excited about being back! So you see Tumbleweed, You're certainly more than welcome to come on in anytime... and please try overlook my awkward, over-excited and confusing opening attempt back.

I certainly agree and do appreciate, the essential need for being 'receptive', in order to learn our lessons. So often, I feel, we can be so close to being receptive, and yet for one reason or another, we may not quite reach it, and be left feeling soo far away. Going along on that same wave-length....and at those same times, IF there had've just been a different twist here or later turning there, our receptivity may well have had the opportunity to connect....fully..... or at least adequately enough to actually result in our having a much deeper understanding. The 'To thine own self, be true.' saying, is perhaps the greatest lesson we need to be receptive to.....in my opnion.

Our lessons in life are itended for our self-progress/self-growth, and therefore obviously appreciate (and need) a thorough workout, best done on a regular basis. Going by that kind of logic, it makes lots of sense to not give up hope. A little encouragement in knowing yourself, that you may actually be a lot closer than you even realise, could very well make all the difference. Especially in difficult times when much needed resources are scarce. The sayings and words of wisdom keep on telling us..... Keep on keeping on. Never give up. God loves a trier. It doesn't take a lot to make a big difference. Let there be light. These and many more, may all assist us in accepting and understanding our life as a journey. It being in one's best interest, to persevere through all our ups and downs, twists and turns, and inevitable highs and lows that life invariably visits upon us along our way.....bringing with them, of course, our valuable lessons for growth, there for each one of us to learn, in our progression through our own personal journey.

Perhaps the most helpful thing I ever chose to do, in the big picture, was to have a real interest in trying to understand human psychology.....so that I could also have a better understanding of myself. Apart from feeling like a naturally sensible idea and subject, I realised that it could help in giving me, at least some of the answers I knew I needed. It did and hasn't disappointed...... and it also let me know too, most importantly, that I must have at least OK intelligence to work that one out, particularly at such
a young age. I've been able to not allow myself be brought down too far, by those people with ulterior motives and personal agendas towards me, who actually seemed to derive a sense of personal satisfaction (or whatever), from seeing me as an inferior human being. So probably, I guess I haven't done too badly in learning some of my lessons after all..... and of course it is an ongoing process. Oh yes, I can see it now, there's got to be hope.

- and so, Tumbleweed, on that optimistic note, it's time to say - Bye Bye For Now

Love, La Rosa

October 21, 2006
10:51 am
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Hi all, Ty La Rosa. I think it is wonderful when we can not be bothered by how others act toward us. Certainly not easy to get to that point. I know it still bothers me when people see me as someone to be talked down to and I pick up on it right away. So tempting to ask them who they think they are or who do they think I am, but I guess its better not to let them see any concern over it and just laugh or smile and keep going. I very quickly no longer bother with them, a couple of ladies who were so called friends did that here in my building and I don't miss them and their attitudes at all. Some because of their beliefs have such a sense of entitlement, it is just unreal, but once we know who they are it is such a help to be able to spot this in them. Makes all the difference for us. Later. 🙂

October 21, 2006
11:36 am
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Hello, My Dear ZINNIE!!

It's so soo very good to see you again Zinnie - after all this time!! Not just since arriving back. Naturally, I'm 'very' sorry to hear that you've caught that horrible cold virus, otherwise you would've been getting BIG hugs. Right now though, I'm just hoping that you're not feeling too uncomfortable. So please, do keep taking lots of good care of yourself, and I'll be hoping you start picking up real soon. I'll definitely be looking forward to us catching up again then. Just make sure to get all the rest you need. That's your number one top priority....OK?

Don't fret about me thinking that you may have been avoiding me either. I knew you wouldn't do anything like that...that's just not Zinnie! I was just a wee bit conerned about all the work you've been getting into, but at the same time, also very happy that your health has been on your side. Now THAT, I was thinking, really is absolutely wonderful for you! Just so sorry though Zinnie, that the common old cold came along trying to make it harder for you. So please just make sure you give it a short sharp shove, right where it hurts, by taking the very best care of yourself you possibly can. That'll give it exactly what it doesn't want.....and THEN it'll get the message.

So....my little darling, little red LOUD dog has found himself yet another adulator!! Now I wonder why that just doesn't surprise me?! Please let him know I was asking after him. I expect 'The Inspector!' would've certainly made a most informed decision in making the imfamous little LOUD as his absolute hero. I'm I right in imagining that they're getting on really well together? I hope that the little red LOUD dog made a good adjustment, to having live-in-home, full-time canine company.

Well it appears that it's now me whose starting to fade Zinnie....so you'll have to excuse as I go and get heavily involved in some ZZZZes of the essential sleep variety.

...so until later Zinnie....Take Care

Love, La Rosa

October 21, 2006
3:05 pm
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Zinnie
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Hi La Rosa,

The LOUD one and I just stopped by... we are checking e-mail, and thought I would pop in.

I wish I could tell you all that I am doing for work - but, that of course would let everyone know - exactly who I am! Let's just say, I ended up back in the music industry and I am putting my bossiness to good use in helping to run a full time rock n' roll tour. I have over the last eighteen months seen the world, by bus, train, planes and limo's. I also have the Inspector traveling with me. As much as I would love to have brought the LOUD one... I'm afraid the world was not quite ready for him.

Everyone was concerned about me doing this because of my health, yet, it seems that this work has given my health a giant boost! I am feeling better than I have in a very long time. I will need to have another surgery when this is all said and done - in the fact that I need to have a tumor and a ton of scar tissue removed - but, otherwise the cancer seems to be holding back at bay and I'm feeling good.

This is also giving me the chance to work with three of my brothers, and both of my sons.

Since you have been gone, my son and his wife have had two sets of triplets in addition to the twins - so they have eight children, under the age of five. Of course, I'm probably very biased, but, they are all beautiful.

My darling daughter Lisa, got married! She is doing well, and she herself has returned to music. She is not as active as she would like to be, and is still hindered by physical limitations but... she is out there doing her best every single day.

My husband continues his work in volunteering his services in teaching both self defense to women, and helping them make their new living quarters "safe" from their exes, but, he still also volunteers a lot of time giving legal aid to those that need help in filing restraining orders and such and cannot afford and attorney. Right now, he is keeping the home going as I'm traveling.

However, I AM home for another week - this is my hiatus time and I'm enjoying the time at home, even if I do have a touch of the flu.

Sadly, as much as we discussed our Mothers - I am sorry to say that my Mom died on January 26 of this year. I made my peace with her, and I was able to see her one last time before she died. Her passing seems to have built the bridge of foregiveness between my sister and I - and she is expecting a child on Christmas day.

Thank you so much for coming back - you gave me such a scare - I feared that the ex had gotten a hold of you. Many months Lisset came back looking for you - I do hope she might pop back in to see you here (smile), but, I have not seen her post in many months.

Take care my dear La Rosa - I'm happy to see you back.

Much love,

Zinnie

October 23, 2006
4:03 am
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LA Rosa
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Hi Zinnie....&....HELLO LOUD!!!

There certainly has been a 'lot' happenning over there in Texas!!

I'm so happy Zinnie, that your health has been kind to you for the most part....and hope you're now improving from the nasty flu bug. I don't think it'll be too long now before you're back up and about - which is simply BRILLIANT! - and I'm glad the job really has been agreeing with you. 🙂 ...maybe the family connection has played a little part in that.:)

Special 'Congratulations' and best wishes for Lisa, and I do hope the married couple will be very happy together. I remember how much she appreciates music..... and hope she is very happy in life. Lisa is a true inspiration and such a lovely person.

Not too much happenning over here in Aotearoa - (that's Moari for New Zealand) my ex-husband, - has now settled down to the realisation that any hopes of fantasized 'perks' - for having me here, were all part of his fantasy. It's all a bit 'strange', of course, the way things turned out. Understandibly, there are some unavoidable restrictions but not too many. Anyway though, I'm still back in my old bedroom, ironically sleeping in Willie's bed - this time round. It certainly is true that 'You never know what's around the corner!' Ex and I have what may be called a respectable relationship - where my boundaries are well enforced. Mainly, I just keep to myself - apart from meals, an occasional cup of coffee and the odd TV viewing.....(I've got TV here in my room anyway - allowing me to opperate the 'ihug surfboard' that means I can make contact with Yourself and others at AAC

The reason for my untimely and unexpected departure from ACC last time, Zinnie, was probably brought on by a combination of 'overload' and 'burnout'. All the emotional upheaval and tension I was feeling - finally resulted in my 'hitting the wall', and I folded up shop, so to speak. I was having difficulty collecting my thoughts together - and writing them down become increasingly taxing. (I still have to be aware of not over doing it) I'd thought in a couple of days or so I might've been OK, but not to be.... then started worrying that maybe it would be best if I just disappeared....I was also feeling that maybe Willie might've been going through something similar, and had become all very distressing, confusing and making me feel soo guilty and ashamed of myself - realising that I'd let my freinds down as well. I'm so sorry I wasn't here for Lisset....with all her endearing qualities, she had a natural ability to capture hearts - without even being aware of her effect on people. So I do hope she decides to give AAC another little check-out sometime again. Of course, I wish it had've been different, but this is a new chapter - and I promise there's no way I'll be disappearing again!

My sister and I have closed the communication barrier that had hindered our closeness for many years prior.....we keep in touch often now, and are both appreciative of our special bond. That's real nice.

I was sad to hear about your Mum Zinnie and am glad that you were able to see her once again, making your peace with her. My own mother almost died a few months ago, when rushed to hospital suffering from respiratory problems followed up by a minor heart attact. It's really quite amazing that she managed to pull through. At 82 years of age, my mother is a real survivor....making a good recovery. I keep in touch by phoning her regularly and visiting every other week.....

I'm so looking forward to seeing my most favourite little doggie, LOUD, arrive up on the magic carpet with Tumbleweed and Yourself.....now THAT really WILL be something else again!!

Happy hiatus! & Take Care Zinnie

Love, La Rosa

October 23, 2006
9:55 am
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LA Rosa
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ZINNIE!!

I hope you WILL be coming over to see me with LOUD and Tumbleweed on the magic carpet ride too, Zinnie. 🙂

Love, La Rosa

October 23, 2006
11:37 pm
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Whoooooooosh...

The magic carpet is circling New Zealand. The little red LOUD dog can barely contain his excitement! His three favorite people in the world - coming together for some tea, pastries and good conversation!

Let's hope for a safe landing.

October 24, 2006
1:45 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Checking to see if we arrived yet and wondering what we will have for tea. La Rosa, are you home today? 🙂

October 25, 2006
2:42 am
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Yes (((Tumbleweed)))

Yes! La Rosa is home and looking forward to our special tea party, and I hope you've all had a most pleasant magical journey - and it's really good to see you! Come on in and make yourselves comfortable. Many tasty treats are here to be had. Apart from the club sandwiches and assorted pastries and savouries.... our tea shall be served, of course, with a 'Magic Carpeters No-Calorie Count'. So we can certainly enjoy the Melting Moments, Chocolate Eclairs, Strawberry Doughnuts, Shorbread, Apple Streudel and Coconut Macaroon Cake.....along with some of the choicest of nibbles for the little red LOUD dog...... and fresh creamy whipped cream for coffee if preferred later.

October 25, 2006
3:30 am
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Zinnie
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Swwwwwooooosssshhh!

We are arriving quikcly, when all of the sudden the carpet slows slightly over the ocean. The little red LOUD dog drops a lei into the beautiful blue waters for his friend Steve Irwin and his family. All of them friends to all animals. After saying a quick prayer - they are off again.

SSSSSWWWWWOOOOOOooooosssssh!

The magic carpet has arrived. Unfortunately, Tumbles and Zinnie must wait for a moment to greet La Rosa.

Upon sight, the little red LOUD dog lept from his magical rug and has been showering her with kisses and love.

However, remembering his manners... he graciously helps her back up (since his greeting was SOOOOO exhuberant!) and leads her to the table laden with all the goodies.

He then goes back to his magic carpet and takes his Mom and Tumbles by the hand and leads to the wonderful table.

The garden is in full bloom, the breeze is softly blowing and yet, the scent of the ocean wafts by as well. The three friends gather together, and pick up on their conversation as if there was never a day missed.

The three chat on...

Z.

October 25, 2006
3:17 pm
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Tumbleweed8
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Oh, you have reminded me that there is still such a wonderful treat as a chocolate eclair. This is heavenly. And I must share with LOUD, of course. Though I think I'm being stingy with his treats today. 🙂

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