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hey tump...r u around?
May 30, 2007
8:46 pm
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bevdee
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GG

When do you see the therapist again Does she know that you are afraid to be alone?

May 30, 2007
8:54 pm
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ggfred4
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I thought this was odd, but then again, I am not used to it. She said at the end, well, do you want to schedule another appt.? I said, sure, and she said in one week or two. Immediately, I said two weeks without thinking. I think it is on a Monday of the following week...

No, she does not know that I am afraid to be alone...hey, it has only been 2 visits...

Did you read the previous post about what I did today?

May 30, 2007
9:04 pm
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bevdee
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GG

Yes I did see the post about your driving past the old house. Why do you reckon you did that?

May 30, 2007
9:06 pm
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ggfred4
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Heck, I don't know!

May 30, 2007
9:08 pm
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bevdee
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Really? I wondered if you were wanting to remember?

May 30, 2007
9:10 pm
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ggfred4
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I don't know...maybe???

May 30, 2007
9:31 pm
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bevdee
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GG-Don't ask me! The answer is in you.

May 30, 2007
9:42 pm
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ggfred4
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I guess I did. At the time, I didn't think about it much. I had time on my hands and knew I was near it and went...a little curious...guess,I wanted to remember...It just occurred to me that maybe I wanted to remember something positive from my childhood...sorry, didn't mean to ask you; I know the answer has to be in me...

May 30, 2007
9:44 pm
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bevdee
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Don't be sorry! Sometimes I get the feeling you want to be drawn out. And sometimes I want to see you throw a little vase.

Is it still raining there?

May 30, 2007
9:47 pm
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ggfred4
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I am sorry, I think I disappoint a lot of people by not being more assertive. I have a hard time getting my feelings out.

It is just drizzling a bit.

May 30, 2007
10:05 pm
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ggfred4
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tump?

May 30, 2007
10:39 pm
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ggfred4
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Did I say something wrong?

May 30, 2007
10:56 pm
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bevdee
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NO

May 30, 2007
10:57 pm
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bevdee
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GG

No - my neighbor came over - she must have smelled the lasagna I made today. She never cooks, and she seems to know when I have.

As for not being assertive - I believe you may be that way because you were never allowed.

May 30, 2007
11:24 pm
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ggfred4
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I have been trying to think if and when I have ever been assertive. I know I have tried at times and if I get what I perceive as a negative reaction at all, I recoil.

To stand up for myself, I am going to have to become more assertive and take what comes my way. I am ready for a practice run. Hmmm, maybe I am not by what I felt earlier...gee, this is hard.

May 30, 2007
11:29 pm
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bevdee
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What is one thing you could be assertive about? A small scale assertation?

May 30, 2007
11:33 pm
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ggfred4
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hmm...gee, I need to be more assertive with the h and my kids as I do everything so they won't be angry at me or raise their voices to me. Let's see one thing...Everything I think of seems large scale here. Still thinking...

May 30, 2007
11:40 pm
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bevdee
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Well- you could start with telling them you are going away to a spa weekend, or a night away- at a motel- to see a show or something.

May 30, 2007
11:44 pm
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ggfred4
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okay, I need to be assertive with the h about not getting things out of my purse. I have issues with that and he knows that. Once last week, he told me that he got in my purse to get my debit slips. He hates that I don't leave them on the desk immediately. I didn't say anything. Now the week before that I had told him not to get something out of my purse. He can't stand if I get anything out of his wallet. Anyway, today he came back up before work demanding the cell phone...long story. I told him why he didn't need it, small little argument and he left. When I went downstairs, I could tell he had looked in my purse for the phone which wasn't there. Then it hit me what was in my purse that he could have seen....my therapist's card which has her name with this following...Licensed Professional Counselor, Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist, Board Certified Behavior Analyst w/ phone #s. She even gives her cell #. I didn't want him to know about this and now I am not sure if he does. I am watching for signs.

So, long story short...I think a small scale assertion could be about staying out of my purse...just have to think how I will bring it up...Whatcha think?

May 30, 2007
11:47 pm
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ggfred4
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We must have cross-posted. Yours would be large scale for me unless it was with friends...then he would gripe about money.

May 30, 2007
11:49 pm
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ggfred4
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You know what tump? The more I have talked today about my relationship with my h and kids, the more disgusted I am feeling about myself. How did I ever allow myself to get this bad?

May 30, 2007
11:51 pm
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bevdee
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Well - the purse thing drives me crazy! That is such a violation of boundaries - especially since you have told him not to go in there.

Lucifer did that, so I never kept anything in there that I didn't want him to see.

Oh- that purse thing drives me crazy.

May 30, 2007
11:55 pm
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ggfred4
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The odd thing is that he has done it twice in one week. Now I don't know if he knows about the therapist. He has hugged me a couple of times this evening and then made an smartass comment that he thought was funny, but pissed me off.

I don't allow my kids to dig in my purse either.

May 30, 2007
11:58 pm
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bevdee
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Ok- so you didn't tell him about the therapy. DO you think he is suspicious of where you are going?

May 31, 2007
12:05 am
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ggfred4
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He asked where I went this morning,but kinda sidetracked him. He knows I have to play catchup to a lot of appts. this summer.

My h is very opinionated ever since he started watching the O'Reilly Factor. He saw Rosie O'Donnell on t.v. and said his usual negative opinion about her. Then a few minutes later, he said, I think you are gay, you like Rosie...I told him I didn't care for her...then he said, well, you like Ellen D....I told him that I like her show and don't really know her...I told him that I also like Oprah and he found something negative to say and walked out the room with this, "you better not be." Where in hell did this come from tonight? I do talk to friends on the phone...

Anyway, I have got to get away...BAD...I am googling...looking up stuff...I am trying to find retreats for women, but I do not want to go to a religious retreat.

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