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Hey girlfriends - just thought I'd make you smile
March 22, 2006
11:29 am
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tracylyn
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The world's shortest fairy tale:

Once upon a time, a girl asked a guy "Will you marry me?" The guy said,
"No" and the girl lived happily ever after and went shopping, dancing,
drank martinis, always had a clean house, never had to cook, stayed skinny
and farted whenever she wanted.

The end.

March 22, 2006
11:35 am
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guest_guest
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lol hehe.

March 22, 2006
11:44 am
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sdesigns
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Ain't that the truth.

March 22, 2006
12:48 pm
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readyforachange
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Yeah! A fairy tale with a REALLY happy ending!

March 22, 2006
1:05 pm
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mamacinnamon
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lol. That's a good one. Thanks. I'll have to copy and pass it on. 🙂

March 22, 2006
2:41 pm
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Amazed
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Hey that is a happy ending...she really could fart whenever she wanted to????

Maybe that is why I'm so happy!!! I didn't know we weren't supposed to!!!

Yee ha!!!

March 22, 2006
8:20 pm
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readyforachange
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Here's another one to make you smile....my sister came in town last week, and I told her I wanted to introduce her to my new "man". She got a funny look on her face because she knows I haven't dated since my divorce was final last year. Anyway, I pulled out a jar opening gadget I bought from Pampered Chef and held it up. I told her that the only thing I used to need a man for was to open jars, so now I didn't need one at all! I think the gadget cost about $12...much cheaper than a real man. 🙂

March 26, 2006
4:55 am
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bonita1
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September 27, 2010
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tracylyn,

I loved your fairytale!! It reminded me of a plaque I saw at my therapist's office that said:

"'Tis better to have loved and lost than to be stuck with a loser for the rest of your miserable existance!"

Funny!!

~~bonita

March 26, 2006
5:39 am
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free2choose
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September 30, 2010
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😉

March 27, 2006
6:26 pm
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mj
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September 29, 2010
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Choice!

March 27, 2006
7:22 pm
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sewunique
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Ready,

I want the Pampered Chef.....he cooks, I pamper, LOL!

Just kiddin'

Sew

March 27, 2006
8:50 pm
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sdesigns
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1. Men are like ........Laxatives ...... They irritate the shit out of you.

2. Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm they are.

3. Men are like ........ Weather ..... Nothing can be done to change them..

4. Men are like ........ Blenders ..... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

5. Men are like ....... Chocolate Bars .... Sweet, smooth, & they usually head right for your hips.

6. Men are like ....... Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.

7. Men are like ........ Department Stores ..... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

8. Men are like ........ Government Bonds ..... They take soooooooo long to mature.

9. Men are like ....... Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign of emotion.

10. Men are like ....... Popcorn . ..... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

11. Men are like . Snowstorms ............. You never know when they're coming,
how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

12. Men are like ........ Lava Lamps ..... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

13. Men are like ........ Parking Spots . All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

March 27, 2006
11:12 pm
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sdesigns
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To the Girls !!
>
>
>Inside every older person is a younger person -- wondering what the hell happened.
>-Cora Harvey Armstrong-
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>Inside me lives a skinny woman crying to get out. But I can usually shut the bitch up with cookies.(Unknown)
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>The hardest years in life are those between ten and seventy.
>-Helen Hayes (at 73)-
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>I refuse to think of them as chin hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.
>-Janette Barber-
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>Things are going to get a lot worse before they get worse. -LilyTomlin-
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>My second favorite household chore is ironing. My first one being --hitting my head on the top bunk bed until I faint. -ErmaBombeck-
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>Old age ain't no place for sissies. -BetteDavis-
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>A man's got to do what a man's got to do. A woman must do what he can't.
>-Rhonda Hansome-
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>The phrase "working mother" is redundant. -Jane Sellman-
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>Every time I close the door on reality, it comes in through the windows.
>-JenniferUnlimited-
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>Whatever women must do they must do twice as well as men to be thought half as good. Luckily, this is not difficult. -Charlotte Whitton-
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>Thirty-five is when you finally get your head together and your body starts falling apart. -Caryn Leschen-
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>I try to take one day at a time -- but sometimes several days attack meat once.
>-Jennifer Unlimited-
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>If you can't be a good example -- then you'll just have to be a horrible warning.
>-Catherine-
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>I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde jokes because I know I'm not dumb-- and I'm also not blonde. -Dolly Parton-
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>If high heels were so wonderful, men would still be wearing them. -Sue Grafton-
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>I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears makes one you can ride on. -Roseanne Barr-
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>When women are depressed they either eat or go shopping. Men invade another country. -Elayne Boosler-
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>Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. -Maryon Pearson-
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>In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man. If you want anything done, ask a woman. -MargaretThatcher-
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>I have yet to hear a man ask for advice on how to combine marriage and a career.
>-Gloria Steinem-
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>I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man, I keep his house.
>-Zsa Zsa Gabor-
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>Nobody can make you feel inferior without your permission.
>-EleanorRoosevelt-

March 28, 2006
1:32 am
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Anonymous
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September 24, 2010
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sd,

I knew it wouldn't be long before the men jokes started rolling out. They're funny. Thanks for sharing them.

Seeker

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