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He needs SPACE???
March 23, 2006
9:23 pm
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ryny143
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September 24, 2010
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I can't deal with this. We have been together through thick & thin, but now he wants space for "a few days". This is the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I made him my whole life, andnow I'm all alone. How can you love someone and still need to be away from them? I told him not to call me until he can 100% commit to being in the relationship, and he agreed. Was this dumb of me? The pain is unbearable. He says he DOES wanna go to counseling together & he DOES wanna work it all out, but not how we are now. He wants to have some time "off", and then start new together. DOes this make any sense to anyone? Should I call im and talk to him? He said we could still talk & stuff.....but I'm not going to be okay with that. Help. I feel like my whole world is gone,and it's only been 9 hours. All I want is him.....and I thought it was the same way for him.

March 24, 2006
12:54 am
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hopeinhim
Lake Stevens, WA
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September 30, 2010
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Hi there ryny,
My soon to be ex husband was famous for pulling the "Space" card.

I am hope, nice to meet you.

I would really try to take an objective look at what your relationship with him is like. Are you to smothering, or is the attention you seek reasonable and your man can't be emotionally available?

In my case the latter was true............my STBX was not emotionally available.

It definately sounds like he is sending mixed messages.

Take care of you and try to focus on others (not him), and withdraw and give him what he is asking for. If it is reall what he wants or if he is playing games you will find out.

Smiles,
Hope

March 24, 2006
2:06 pm
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kathygy
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September 30, 2010
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ryny143,

I am sorry you are having a hard time right now but I think you did the absolute right thing to say to your bf:

"I told him not to call me until he can 100% commit to being in the relationship"

This what you want and you cared enough about yourself to take a stand for what you want.

If you call him you will be giving up your power. Hold tight and DO NOT call him. He will respect you more if you don't call him and you will respect yourself more.

That's the problem with making someone your whole life, when they're gone you have nothing.

Take this time to work on building your identity separate from this man.
You don't need him to live and be happy. You only think you do.

Its a good time to go to a lot of meetings and get lots of support.

Do you have a close friend you can call everytime you get the urge to call him?

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