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he grabbed me tonight and I am pssd
May 25, 2006
9:16 pm
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mamac
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He had the nerve to get in my face and grab me up tonight. I told him to get the [email protected]@@ out of my face. He is turning into a crazy person. I dont even have a clue what it was for. I swaer if he ever hits me I'll.......

May 25, 2006
9:27 pm
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gosh thats scary, be safe mamac.

May 25, 2006
9:38 pm
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lollipop3
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Mamac,

I don't know your story but your post here sent up a big red flag for me.

Is he verbally/mentally abusive? Has he been physical before?

The reason I ask is because without intervention....these things, with very rare exception, almost always escalate.

A verbally/mentally abusive person can be so and remain that way forever without ever becomming violent....however, once it progresses to ANY type of violence....and they get away with it...you can almost guarantee it will continue and get worse as it does.

I don't mean to sound overly dramatic and as I said....I don't know your history but please be careful. And let him know that if he EVER raises a hand to you again...you will leave and he will be arrested.....AND MEAN IT!!!!

Take care....please

Lolli

May 25, 2006
9:40 pm
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mamac
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Yes he is. Some of my comments in other threads state that. I knew the signs and ignored them. Gosh I can be so stupid somtimes.

May 25, 2006
9:53 pm
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lollipop3
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Now, now....there's no room for calling yourself names here.

I'm willing to bet every single person on this site has seen negative signs in their relationships and chose to ignore them. I know that I sure have. But that doesn't make you stupid.

I generally do not advise people to leave relationships or to stay for that matter, BUT when physical abuse is involved...I tend to be a bit more aggressive with my advice.

Why you ask? Because I've been there.

Not only have I been there but I have seen it enough times in my friends, sisters, etc. relationships that I feel very confident saying what I said.

Without intervention....it will escalate.

This is not a situation to be blind to.

I am not suggesting that you just get up and leave (although not a bad idea), however, I would suggest doing your best to make sure it doesn't happen again.

I also wouldn't confront him in the heat of anger.

During a calm moment, let him know how his treatment of you made you feel and let him know in no uncertain terms it WILL NOT BE TOLERATED.

I would also suggest letting someone in your personal life what is going on. Do not try to protect him or his reputation by keeping this to yourself. DO NOT KEEP THIS A SECRET!

The most important factor in an abusive relationship is ISLOLATION. Do not let that happen.

Set up a support system for yourself and make sure that at least one person is aware of what he did.

Set up a place for you to go in case this ever happens again...and do not hesitate to go there.

Always remember that we teach people how to treat us. Do not let him learn that it is okay to put his hands on you. Do not let him learn that you will protect him. Let him learn that you WILL be treated with respect or he WILL be history.

May 26, 2006
12:01 am
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Anonymous
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Lolli,

What a wonderful post you made! You're always so supportive of others here.

Let me know who this guy is who's physically abused you. I want to beat the tar out of him. I can't stomach the thought of him doing something so heinous to sweet little ol' you.

Love,
Seeker

May 26, 2006
4:12 am
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sleepless in uk
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Mamac

I have read your other posts about how this man treats you....he has tried to put you down and keep you down and as I have said before IMO he sounds very inadequate....you know what I mean? Like he has to make you small and control you in order to feel bigger himself..

You seem to have gotten stronger and are showing him that you can and will make decisions about what you want to do.....seems to me like this is threatening him even further and maybe he is scared he is losing his hold...

therefore it maight well be that his abuse escalates into something more physical and I agree with Lolli 100%

This is not something you can tolerate and he needs to be very clear on that...If he raises his hand to you this is absoloutely a step over the limit and once that boundary has been crossed I too think it will happen again and again..

My husband has never hit me but when he was at his most emotionally abusive he would smash things and his rage was truly terrifying..

Take care and keep safe

May 26, 2006
8:37 am
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mamacinnamon
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mamac:

(I do like that name) 🙂 lol

Seriously, if he grabbed you this time then next time or a few times later he is gonna hit you honey. Can you step back and see the progression in his anger? usually smashes things.... grabbed me.... if he ever hits me.... You'd have not made that last comment if it were not a real concern to you.

Please take it from someone who knows... it will escalate. "The first time he hits me i'll _____". You'll what. What will you do? Most likely be so much in shock that the man you love hit you that you'll do nothing.

Listen to your head and gut and not your heart.

May 26, 2006
2:51 pm
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mamac
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Oh well I dont know about doing nothing. I see red if somone hits me. Im not easy to anger, that is not how I was brought up, but if I am hit I feel no pain. I will probably try and fight back. And because of his strength I will lose, but in that moment I wont see much else. That is what scares me, myself. I have been abused by men before and I dont intend to put up with it ever again.

May 26, 2006
3:10 pm
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mamac
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have more to say but he is off work today and I have limmited time on computer

May 26, 2006
9:28 pm
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mamac
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wondereing if he is bipolar. He is ok tonight. I dont intend to walk on egg shells my whole life though.

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