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He disconnected his email address!
October 11, 2010
12:00 am
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earthingie
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October 13, 2010
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After
sending me emails and porn. pics of himself one day he suddenly cut
off his email account. We are on the same site and he is trying to
make me jealous. Taking about how he is in a new relationship,
providing details about his sex life. It makes me feel so used.
Does he not know that I still love him. I can not just forget him.
Just like that. The way he forgot about me. Now I have to
communicate with him in a public forum. I do wonder if he is doing
the same thing to the other females he meets on the web as he did
to me? I know he still loves me. I know this because everytime I
reply to him he answers back. Any advice?

October 11, 2010
12:00 am
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It No Longer Matters
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In
Fantasy Land: He loves you, he loves you and he is only screwing
other women to show you how much he loves you. The phone company
probably just made a mistake or didn't post his payment to the
correct account and shut his email down. Remember he loves you. He
is showing you every day just how much he loves you by making you
post to him in a public forum where you run the risk of being
humiliated, but remember HE LOVES YOU.

Now out here in
the real world: It's over. He has moved on. It is going to hurt
like hell, but the best thing you can do is establish no contact
and start healing you. I know. I've been there, only I thought my
situation wss different. He really loved me. After all when he was
finished screwing the other women he always came back to
me.

Bitsy

October 11, 2010
12:00 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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Sadly
true...hurtful to hear however.

October 11, 2010
12:00 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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he
did you a favor, and some day your see that he did, I had many men
use me and hurt me like that and then just leave me too...they knew
I was hurting and they knew how to talk to me to get what they
wanted too, and when your abused and in pain, you don't really see
that till your away from it, thank god he disconnected it, take
that as something positive!

October 11, 2010
12:00 am
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earthingie
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Bitsy
you are right. I have no way of contacting him. I wonder why he
still writes messages and responds to me in a public forum? I am
thinking that he wants the public to know he is being pursued by
me.

October 11, 2010
12:00 am
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earthingie
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BAREFOOTGIRL Thank you for your advise. He did abuse me and
leave me in pain. I try to pretend that I am O.K. I even write
about how great my new boy friend and I are doing. I write details
about that relationship. Thinking that this man will be fooled into
believing that I have moved on. If I had really moved on I would
not waste my time writing messages to him. Right?

October 11, 2010
12:00 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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well
its not easy to move on and when your still in love with someone,
its not easy to just forget bout them, that is what seperates us
from them, they can move on cause they literally have no
conscious... It took me awhile to get it, i am not going to judge
you cause I know how hard it is walk away. I had a man talk me into
things I would of never normally done for him, but i loved him and
he had this strange power over me. He was living with his
girlfriend but convinced me he loved him, while still in a
relationship with her...yes I was a real fool but i did not
understand at that time, I was set up to tolerate this cause of my
abusive past... and I had on idea I was abused till later on in
life... I was basically going through life and hitting into walls
and had no idea what was wrong with me...i hated myself and life.
when you get down the reasons behind why you first got caught into
their web, then you begin to see things a quite differently! i hope
you can pull away and get to the place of apathy...it takes time
too. take it one day at a time....

October 11, 2010
12:00 am
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earthingie
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October 13, 2010
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BAREFOOTGIRL Again thank you so very much for your kind and
understanding words. You are right this man literally has no
conscious. This man who has hurt the heck out of me is from down
under and sent me some porn pics of himself of down under if you
know what I mean. Like a fool I thought he loved me. When all along
he was just using me. The sad part about it is how many people
think he is a good man. When in reality all he is doing is trying
to seek out and destroy other vulnerable females like myself. Some
people do not believe he is evil. Do you think I should share his
emails and pics with them to prove it? I really believe he needs to
own up to what he has done, and owes me a public
apology.

October 11, 2010
12:00 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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to be
really honest here and upfront too, please take this the right way,
i would stay away from him and anyone who is also entangled with
him...you need to work on the issues on why you were attracted to
him in the first place, all the rest is just drama that will
entangle you further. I would not want his commuication and I would
stay away from him as far as possible, i know, easier said than
done! i been there! but honestly, you need to get far away... And
how do you know you can trust other women who might also feel this
connection to him too, he could pit you all against each other, he
could be very good at games and from the sounds of this, looks like
it. Do something good for yourself, away from that, away from the
computer, find something healthy, good for you to do, commit to
that, pick up some books and don't forget to read the postings by
Ladeska here! Look on the support side, this lady is the one who
literally saved my life, she taught me everything I know! She
explains why we get trapped into this and how to get
out!

October 11, 2010
12:00 am
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earthingie
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October 13, 2010
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BAREFOOTGIRL I know I am not making any good sense right now. I
know I have issues. A healthy female would not be attracted to a
way older 70 something year old male who did what this man did to
me. I have been getting entangled with other females, siring up
drama only to find that they have cut off their email addresses
too. I know I need to find friends in the real world and stay away
from chasing down strangers on the internet. It is all so sick when
I think about it. You are a doll!

October 11, 2010
12:00 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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but
you realize this...so many people do not, so what you do with that
"realization" is up to you. If you want to take this and apply it
to getting healthy, you will:) We do what we were brought up to do,
I once did that too, I am not perfect and I never plan on being
perfect! That is how it is in life, we can mess up and we can
change and try to do better or we can wallow in our old ways, its
our choice!

October 11, 2010
12:00 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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LOL @
people who cut us off, if they had good reason too, sobeit! If not,
its their loss, not ours! I been in both case scearios, is part of
life, part of being abused and growing up where drama is normal and
even encouraged, its not our fault we got stuck in that, and no one
is perfect, but at some point, we have to "help ourselves" no one
can do that for us! I am glad I could help you, just suggestions,
the rest is in your court!

October 11, 2010
12:00 am
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It No Longer Matters
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Listen I know you have probably acted in ways that you never
thought you would. You can't change yesterday. All you can do is
start from today.

Bitsy

October 12, 2010
12:00 am
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Worried_Dad
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earthingie,

"I know he still
love me..."

Umm, love is not a
feeling. Feelings are part of it, but love is also a pattern of
behavior.

A pattern of
loving behaviors.

His pattern
doesn't sound too loving to me.

I suggest joining
another site and trying to forget you ever met him.

October 12, 2010
12:00 am
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chinadoll
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Love
is also a decision. A person has to make a conscious choice that
they want to give you their heart and their love. Real, true,
honest love.

And like Worried
Dad said, it's actions. Actions speaks louder than
words.

Anything less than
that is merely infatuation, lust, or someone just wanting to get
their kicks.

A person who loves
you would never let harm come to you...physically, emotionally,
mentally.

With love comes
respect. If a person makes a conscious choice to harm you, that
person does not love you or respect you. They go hand in hand. It's
really difficult to have one and not the other.

I'm speaking of
love in a general sense, not so much about romantic love. The kind
of love that allows you to care for another person. Love that is
real.

I have a lot of
male friends that I love, they each have a special place in my
heart. It does not mean I am in love with them. I genuinely care
about them and respect them.

Now, with my
boyfriend, I love him with all my heart. I am deeply in love with
him. This is not a romantic type of love, but something much more
beyond that, a love that will last longer than this life and into
the next---whether we stay in our relationship or not. This is a
decision that I chose to make, based on his actions toward me and
his behaviors that he demonstrates to me.

I think people
often make way too much of the romantic, Hollywood fantasy type of
love. Real life does not work like that. We don't live in fairy
tales, at least I don't.

He is a huge
important part of my life, but not my whole life. I still stay true
to myself and do what I need to do for me. It is the same for
him.

The biggest
indicator is to ask yourself, how do I feel when I am with him? Do
I feel good? happy? or scared? disrespected? do I have a say? do I
feel like I count?

If there is
anything there that makes you feel discomfort, pain, or fear, it is
not love. It's a matter of convenience, for one or the other or
both...in some way.

Anyone who wants a
healthy relationship with you will be looking out for your best
interest along with theirs. Anything less than that is just playing
a game with your heart.

The apology you
are waiting for? You're not going to get it, guys like this don't
like to be confronted. They would prefer to *poof* than take
responsibility. Closure is over-rated. We rarely get it.

People almost
never behave in the manner that we wish or expect them to,
especially if you were not on the same page with them to begin
with. Yeah, you could say, "well I would never do something like
that, I would apologize if I hurt someone."

Well, hate to say
it, but all people are different and they are driven by their own
desires and choices. Would it be nice if he did apologize? Yes, but
if you expect it, you will surely be disappointed. Let go of the
idea that because you would do something a certain way, other
people will do it, too.

The key is to find
someone with compatibility in values, beliefs, and goals as
yourself. It's not anyone's job to "fix" anyone. People are the way
that they are. Accept it, or not, but trying to change someone is
just making trouble for yourself. You get what you get. It's up to
you to determine if what you get is what you want.

If you have a new
boyfriend now, concentrate on your relationship with him and forget
about this guy. Any power and energy that you give over to this guy
will undermine and eventually destroy your new
relationship.

October 13, 2010
12:00 am
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BAREFOOTGIRL
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Well
said (((chinadoll)))

October 15, 2010
12:00 am
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Lanigirl
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This
man gets a thrill out of being cruel to you. He enjoys the drama he
causes. Thank goodness he cut you out by changing his email. Now
you can avoid any contact with him. I can understand your pain at
the moment but eventually the end to the head games will feel so
much better.

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