Garfield & Horsefly & Tez......hope that I didn't hurt any feelings......was really great to hear from you guys too!!!!!

Tez, as always - thanks for your slant!

"We are not who we seem to be."

But then again.....why not?

Afterall, let's face it - I don't know how old you are....but there just comes a time when you just throw your chips in and say - well - hell - this is who I am......at this stage of the game.....love it or leave it - you know? I Bare NO EXCUSES!!!!!!!

Life is getting way too short for me to be playing games with myself (or anyone else for that matter) anymore...............

Let's just get down to the real "nitty-gritty" you know...THAT STUFF which you have tried all of your life to validate through others - but to which you learned....only WE can validate ourselves!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Yes indeed, I really AM.....who I seem to be....(no excuses!!!!!!!)

Nothing is more forthcoming in this world than to delve deep....REALLY deep..... into our own pain than to finally emerge as a more wholesome and available person emotionally...(and a much more simpler being - I might add....all things considered)

(Where the desparate passion to spar intellectual premises simply fizzles down into a fire, a bare single, fighting flame - which really - had its moment to shine....but now...is really.....rather passe.)

Truth Be Told 🙁

Hey Bev,

I defected to another site for awhile.

As far a some great stories....alls I can say id that I have never felt better in my life! (Though it was quite the rocky road to get to this point)

Basically - in a nutshell - I was put into an absolute tailspin recently financially....

I can honestly say that I can't remember the last time I have been THIS broke. Even when I was a kid - I always had a little something put aside - even if it was only $100. NEVER without the "Plan B."

So - what the hell - I asked my angels and spirit guides to help me heal and was reminded of a scene from the movie "Castaway" - with Tom Hanks.

If you are familar with this movie, there is a scene after he is finally rescued and he is telling a friend about his experience....about how depressed he got after so many years of being on the island and wanted to hang himself over the cliff - so he tested the rope with a big log and the rope broke. He then knew that if he were to try that - he would end up with a broken neck or back instead. Then...the famous line in that movie that hit me square between the eyes: "I HAD CONTOL OVER NOTHING!!!!!!!!!"

That was it for me.

I delved deep and hard into that line in the movie and realized that that was exactly how I was feeling!

Then - after sitting with that awful feeling for awhile....came to remember that part of the Serenity Prayer....at the end....which talks about having the courage and strength to recognize the things that I can and can not change (or control) and the wisdom to know the difference between the two......(I'm para-phrasing here......)

But I emerged from all of that with a better understanding of my circumstances. What I do and do not have control over.

Then - just this morning - around 4 am or so - I prayed again for more answers....and a very simple conclusion presented itself to me:

Bottom Line (I even wrote it down so that I wouldn't forget it:) "I was naive for a very, very long time. Trusting all of the wrong people and mis-trusting the right ones."

Now - I am feeling much better.

I can actually single out various priorities where as before...I didn't have a clue and EVERYTHING seemed to feel like a priority.

It was worth going through the awful crap recently to come out in the end with a FINALLY....peaceful state of being.

(Also helped that I was remembering some of the things I read in the book "Necessary Losses by Judith Viorst.....as it really came into play.)

Anyway - that's my scoop. How are you doing these days, my friend?

(((((hugs Bev)))))))