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February 15, 2007
5:35 pm
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pmrh
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I am going to attend my first CODA meeting tonight and I am getting nervous. Any one been or have any info on it? Thanks

February 15, 2007
8:17 pm
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mamacinnamon
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I've not been to coda, but alanon. I think they are similar. Nothing to be afraid of although I was terribly nervous myself when I went the first time.

Pretty much you can speak if you want to, you don't have to and nobody will force you.

I think you will love the meetings once you have been a time or two. Just be sure to keep going to at lease half a dozen. Some folks go one time and quit. Unless you have gone several times you don't know what it is they can offer and teach you.

Hope it goes well. Oh, and nice to meet you. 🙂

February 17, 2007
1:20 pm
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addicts wife
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Hi Pmrh...
Nice ot meet you!!
I did go to a Coda with a friend of mine after i gave her this book titled "I hate you, DON'T leave me." she realizedshe was codependant and was going to address it. I HAD to laugh when she called (this was over 10 years ago when I was like 24-ish.) becasue She called begging me to go with her to a meeting based on codependancy to others.. i found out later it is much more than that, and of course I went to suportafriend in need, I figured I could always learn something, right?
Anywaaay, the first andeven the first couple times going anywhere ot address things we are struggling withourselves can be nerve racking scary moments full of anxiety and stress, but once inside, you(I ) realize(d) that these are also humans, wiht flaws, strengths andweaknesses and we can all leanr from ourselves. any anon type meeting Ive been t owas set up where there are group speakers andalot of people do talk and share, but there was an = amount who were jsut there to listen, without the pressure ot participate vocally. Some meetings have guest speakers who come to speak on a certain topic in a certain phase of coping with said anon. issue, for thought provocting and lesson leanred sharing and sets up a topic for discussion, with tools and coping skills.
I hope everything went well!! (let us know)
NOT all meetings will make you feel that you "click" and resonate there, IF you feel like there is something you WANT to get from a setting like this, then I would suggest another meeting location, NOT giving up becasue of one meeting/group meetings,(One way to think about it (for me) was it being like Not liking one rhematology specialist, and having to get an appointment to another one that i loved. there are many MANY different ways and outlets for us to find things that will help us, most of them will not be at the first thing we try.(CAN be very FRUSTRATING!!!!) but then again, perseverence and strength comes with being determined ot get the things we feel we need to help us.
Hope all went well, and that you are feeling good about going.
Heck, if the first few times arent quite what you thought, coming here tovent, and just get things out is FANTASTIC!!!!!!!!!!!! ive come here tojust be silly and venting that way can also be quite therapeutic!! there was a whole thread once about chin hairs!!! LOLOL. (even when dealing with serios issues it does help quite a bit to nottake ourselves so seriously!!)
WELCOME!!

February 17, 2007
3:34 pm
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I've been there a couple of times. Dont be nervous, whats there to be nervous about? I was so excited that I'm going to finally try something everyone talks about. I was thinking its my one magic pill that'll solve everything. I was depressed and desperate.

They just shared experiences and how their life was in the past week and stuff. Then in the end they read a passage from Melody beattie's book and a prayer at the end. Depends on group to group, the stuff they do. I'm an athiest so I just thought "bleah" over the prayer but otherwise, well - its good to talk to other people about your problems and be in the same group and see that you're not alone. Thats the main thing about it. I attended a few and then was out because it wasnt helping. It might help. Also I got better so I dont need them now as much although I still miss talking to people about my problems.

February 17, 2007
3:36 pm
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And yea its real relaxing to see that everyone has the same problems as you and you can identify and speak freely. Very liberating I'd say atleast for the first meeting.I quickly lost hope that this will do anything for me though.

I thought we go in, speak about ourself for 5 minutes and hear a passage from the book.

SURELY there must be MORE a group can together, so I left. It looked useless to me, but it might be useful for you.

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