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geez go away already
May 29, 2006
8:26 pm
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sewunique
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September 27, 2010
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*CYB

May 29, 2006
8:29 pm
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mamac
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September 24, 2010
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Thankyou thankyou thankyou, I know this snt what this thread about but you dont even know how much you have helped me. I swear I forgot how to socilize with people I have been isolated so long. A gain thankyou very very muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuch

May 29, 2006
8:33 pm
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sewunique
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Thanks TWinks!!!!

May 30, 2006
10:41 am
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readyforachange
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September 27, 2010
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(((mamac))) just a hug for you today. I've been where you are, and I know how much stress it can cause. Knots in your stomach, hard time breathing...I almost sent myself into panic attacks several times just covering my butt to make sure my ex was not going to invade my privacy. Hang in there...

May 30, 2006
1:04 pm
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mamac
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thanks ready and everone else, darn good thing he works all day huh

June 1, 2006
7:00 am
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Mardoll
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"Yah, he's the smartest, no other man will ever put up with you/me, or want me nor beeen as patient as him, nor put up with me as he did. Sound familiar?"

Only from third-parties, but yes.

Honestly none of those arguments mean squat if you change the underlying assumption - Women don't *need* to have men in their lives to continue existing. Don't get me wrong, I like having a man in my life, but that doesn't mean I'm not okay on my own, eh?

June 1, 2006
8:17 am
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sewunique
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Well, Mardoll, for the most part, then you are one of the more fortunate ones who have not suffered thru the agony of this. It is most horrific. the problem is, once a person has met this era in their life, it is not a simple fix. Nor I believe, a simple answer that it is all about understanding women don't "need" a man. There is more to it than that; much more. It is not the situation of one person being more good or more bad, more domineering or submissive, or whatever. It is complex.

Being here at AAc for awhile has helped me to sort out not only my relationship situation for what it was, but also to seek deeper within in HOW did I ever arrive in that situation in the first place? And THAT is where I am today. Looking deep within. It is more complex than how a person percieves, acts, or believes if they "need" or "want" another person.

It is more about your own personal self esteeem, self worth, one's perceptions and belief system, values and also the situation are one is in and/or have been in (meaning partner relationships, family relationships, social relationships and lifespan relationships).

I wish canned answers were the simple solution, but life and human nature are both complex.

Sew

June 1, 2006
12:39 pm
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mamac
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both of you have very valid points. I know I dont need him, I just somtuimes beleive I do because of low self estemm that has plagued me my whole life. My father left my sister and I when we were seven. He had one chance to be with us and blew it. He even told me he would rather have sons in stead of daughters. He got his wish and gave up. Yes I know not my fault, but some things haunt you forever. I have had three pros tell me they are sorry to say this but I will never trust anyone again. This was after numerous differant tests and giving life story. At first I thought the doc. was a quack, but then 2 more told me the same thing. I try not to think about it much, but they are right, even after all the treatment I cant trust anyone. Maybe it is partly why I keep myself in this prison I like to call it. It is familiar, it may not be safe but I know what to expect. Internet talking so much easier then having real live paople, They can see I muistrust. I have a thing for reading minds. I know what people are thinking before they speak. The friends I do have find this comforting, but people I just meet, it scares them. Then once they get to know me they see I am not super freak. I have just kept quiet all these years and observed people, I know what comes next. But this is why nice guys are harder to trust. They are nice yea, but what happens when they get mad? Who knows, I dont want to bee the butt of somones jokes, like they could say, "yea I got that girl fooled" Hey the man I am with now did this to me. I was in a good place in my life when I met him, he lied to me for 2 years. I fell for him hard, he appeared to be my best friend. Then the day I met the woman he was dating behind my back, he fed her the same lines of BS he fed me.This threw me in a deep depression, he was the only person I ever gave trust to in my whole life. Yes people make mistakes, but you dont know the lies I heard for 2 years. Then BAM a bomb went off. I had been fooled. the person who couldnt be fooled! Now all my trust in everyone is gone again. I dont even trust family. No one but me knows the personal hell I have lived with my whole life. Imagine never really being loved or feeling love your whole life. That is what it feels like. Maybe in my past life I pissed God off and he has to teach me somthing. I am not your classic victem, I dont do wrong things and blame them on somone else, I try to be good and loving to all. I am a doormat thats what I am.Sorry so long.

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