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Friendma.....................................
June 11, 2007
11:53 am
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Friendma
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Took my kids back to their Dad's last night. Because I know that they will be back this week sometime, it didn't kill me but it hurt like hell. I sit here today and just feel empty. When they go back to their regular schedule in the fall, well, I will deal with that then, but I appreciate and know that I am blessed to have this time with them during the summer but when it ends in the fall it just about kills me. I appreciate everyones support and last week was heavenly! I'm sendin lots of love and hugs to all ya'll!

June 11, 2007
1:33 pm
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ggfred4
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(((fm))), I know today is hard for you but maybe you could find a project to do to keep your mind off of things. I know it is hard to make yourself do things when you feel this way, but it really helps to get yourself moving.

Love, gg

June 11, 2007
2:40 pm
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needtoheal
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Friendma--

I think GG had good advice about finding something to do to occupy your time..

I sometimes have a difficult time when the boys go with their father every other weekend..

I understand how you feel...

I am glad that it was heavenly for you to spend time with the kids.

My time with my boys is precious to me.. It is hard to let go -- especially now that my oldest is getting at the age of wanting and needing more independence from me..

love.
NEED

June 12, 2007
10:46 am
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Friendma
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(((((GG))))) That's great advice! I do need some kind of a project or something. When my kids are not here, I am just here with no real direction or purpose and I don't do well with time on my hands and nothin to do. I'm on disability and each day that I get up without my kids I just exist. I'm not complaining, things could always be worse but I know you are right. I do need somethin in my life, just don't know what yet. Thanks for postin to me! I hope that you and yours are doin well! Has anyone told ya that you are special today? Well, GG you are so very special to me! Take care of you! I'm sendin ya lots of love and hugs!

June 12, 2007
10:51 am
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Friendma
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(((((NEED))))) So wonderful to hear from ya! I know that you and GG are right. I do need somethin in my life to occupy my time. I just haven't come up with it at this point. Thanks for understandin bout how it feels to have my kids go back to their Dad's. It means the world to me to have someone understand. My daughter is 11 goin on 18 and she has decided that in public she doesn't want to hold my hand anymore. She is growin up fast and I understand what you are goin thru with your son and him needing independence and all. My daughter is doin the same thing. She is still affectionate in private but it is very hard to let go. Thank you for postin to me! Has anyone told ya that you are special today? Well, Need you are so very special to me! I hope that you and yours are doin well! I'm sendin ya lots of love and hugs! Take care of you!

June 12, 2007
11:10 am
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ggfred4
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(((fm))),I hope you know it is normal for an 11yr. old to not want to hold your hand in public. I teach this age group and appearance and acceptance by peers is priority. They feel they have to seek independence and it is no rejection of you. They still need your guidance and love at all times.

Now, I don't know what you are capable of doing concerning projects. This is something I did that picked up my mood. All I did was clean out two kitchen cabinets, wiped them down, new shelf liner, threw things away and put everything else back in neatly. It didn't take me long at all, but I can't tell you how many times I open those doors and smile. It makes you feel good and it wasn't a lot of effort on my part. Just thought I let you know that little projects help too.

Love ya gf

June 12, 2007
11:23 am
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Friendma
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(((((GG))))) Thanks for the insight bout my daughter, it helps to know that I haven't done anything to upset her. I respect her need for independence and I love her to pieces and she gives me lots of love in private and I'm so thankful for that! I appreciate what you said bout cleanin out cabinets. I need to clean out my desk. I need to do several things but usually I just stay in bed unless I have something going on like an appt. but even those I struggle with to make and then if my kids are with me I have no problem gettin around and findin purpose. I don't know how to describe it to others but after losin my marriage and kids which my son was 3 and my daughter was 5 at the time and that killed me to have to say goodbye. I feel like when my kids go back to their Dad's that a major part of who I am dies but then when they come back some parts of me are ressurected, (sp?) Does that make any sense? The mommy in me dies to an extent. It has been a tug of war, traumatic situation since the seperation and divorce and as time has gone by I have had to adjust but it has taken a toll on me that no one understands or even seems to care about, it has been a death of a loved one in a sense with all that goes along with that but then they come back only for a short spurt only to leave again. I hope I am makin sense. Thanks for listenin. Love ya, bunches!!!!

June 12, 2007
11:36 am
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ggfred4
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fm, it makes a lot of sense...Here is my struggle now...I am scared to give advice because I hate to be wrong and possibly hurt someone. Yet, I want to tell you this, this is important and you are young. My last child just graduated from high school last year and all of a sudden I have all of this time and freedom. Yet, I am lost. I lived for my kids and was totally involved in their education and extra-curricular activities. I neglected my marriage some, but mostly I neglected ME. Now I am 51 years old and don't know myself. I am so indecisive, don't even know what I like. Now, I must work on that, discover me, and learn to accept myself. Fm, I feel this advice for myself could go for you too. I may be wrong. I just don't want you to make the same mistake as I did. You are a wonderful and caring person. You are worthy...

((((((fm)))))))

June 12, 2007
12:03 pm
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Friendma
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(((((GG))))) I truly appreciate your insight. I truly want you to know that I hope you feel comftorable with me to give your insight, opinion and advice. Your feelings, opinions, insight, point of view and all is yours and cannot be wrong in my opinion, it is yours and you are entitled to how you see things. I feel that you are very wise and I look forward to your point of view. I may not see things the same way but that's ok, we can always agree to disagree. I hope that helps you to feel comftorable to express yourself to me. I understand what you are explaining. I unfortunately have had the empty nest way too early in my opinion. I was just becoming a mom and learning and growing and then poof it was gone. I do need to find myself and know me, I guess I just don't know how to go about doin that. I have never been me for me if that makes any sense. I have always been who I am for everyone and anyone but me. I guess that is what makes me co dependent. I don't know how to be anything other than that. I don't like me and I never have and so I live for everyone else. I hope that you can discover the real you and find what you need to find to have a healthy and happy life, that is secure in who you are. I like who you are and I truly hope you can find the ability to accept you and love you. I hope that for all of us. I am really enjoying postin with you. Thank you so much for your time and care! Love to you, Sweetie!

June 12, 2007
1:41 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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(((Friendma))) Love you girl.

June 12, 2007
8:55 pm
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ggfred4
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Hey fm, I took my own advice after I posted to you. I cleaned out the drawer and the shelves with my makeup, nail polish, lotions, etc. I had excess crap there. I filled up a small trash can and yes, it made me smile!

(((fm)))

June 12, 2007
10:56 pm
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Friendma
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(((((GG))))) You just brought such a smile to my face! Good for you, girl! I love ya bunches! Take care of you!

June 12, 2007
10:58 pm
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Friendma
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(((((MICH))))) I love ya too! Wonderful to hear from ya! I hope that you and yours are well! I'm sendin ya great big YA'LL hugs! Take care of you!

June 14, 2007
12:00 am
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Friendma
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((((((((((MICH< GG< NEED< LL<))))))))))

June 14, 2007
9:19 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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(((Friendma)))

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