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Friendma needs a safe place..............
November 15, 2007
2:47 am
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Friendma
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((((((((((NEED))))))))))

I miss ya! Thanks for stoppin by and thanks for the hug, I needed it!! I hope that you and yours are doin well!!

November 15, 2007
2:49 am
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Friendma
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((((((((((SOA))))))))))

I'm hangin in there, and you?

I'm strugglin with some physical issues right now and have not been around as much and I am on pain meds.

I hope that you and yours are doin well and I'm sendin ya lots of safe hugs!!

November 15, 2007
6:35 pm
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Friendma
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I'm on my second period since the surgery and nothin has changed. I'm in so much pain and they had to put me on vicodin. They have scheduled me for a hysterectomy on Jan. 14th. I am ready, I'm tired of hurtin........

November 15, 2007
7:36 pm
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bevdee
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(((Friendma)))

I know how you feel- I have been having "lady" problems too and will probably have to have surgery soon.
You have my hugs and positive energy coming toward you.

November 15, 2007
7:48 pm
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netsirk
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(((Friendma)))

Sending you love and hugs right now.

November 16, 2007
9:49 am
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Friendma
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((((((((((BEV))))))))))

I'm sorry to hear that you are havin lady problems. I hope that you get to feelin better! Thank you for the support and hugs!

November 16, 2007
9:50 am
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Friendma
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((((((((((NETSIRK))))))))))

Thank you for the love and hugs I really need them. I hope that you and yours are doin well! Take care of you!

November 16, 2007
7:09 pm
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bevdee
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Hey FM

Wishing you a happy weekend w ith lots of love and talking!

(((Perky and Jen)))

November 21, 2007
9:59 am
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Friendma
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((((((((((EVERYONE))))))))))

Just wanted ya'll to know that I won't be around much, I'll be with my kiddos till Sunday night. I hope that everyone has a wonderful Thanksgiving holiday! I hope that it is safe and peaceful and full of love and enjoyment. Take care and I'm sendin all ya'll lots of love and hugs!!

November 21, 2007
10:20 am
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ScaredinMichigan
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Friendma....

Love you girl, and thinking of you. I hope you have a GREAT holiday...

(((((((Friendma))))))))

November 21, 2007
11:08 pm
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Friendma
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I got this out of the book "Healing the Child Within"

I found it very interesting and I'm gonna have to think on it but it encouraged me and I'm hopin it will encourage others.......

Personal Bill of Rights.....

1. I have numerous choices in my life beyond mere survival.

2. I have a right to discover and know my child within.

3. I have a right to grieve over what I didn't get that I needed or what I got that I didn't need or want.

4. I have a right to follow my own values and standards.

5. I have a right to say no to anything when I feel I am not ready, it is unsafe or violates my values.

6. I have a right to dignity and respect.

7. I have a right to make my own decisions.

8. I have a right to determine and honor my own priorities.

9. I have the right to have my needs and wants respected by others.

10. I have the right to terminate conversations with people who make me feel put down and humiliated.

11. I have the right not to be responsible for others' behavior, actions, feelings or problems.

12. I have a right to make mistakes and not have to be perfect.

13. I have a right to all of my feelings.

14. I have a right to be angry at someone I love.

15. I have a right to be uniquely me, without feeling I'm not good enough.

16. I have a right to feel scared and to say "I'm afraid".

17. I have the right to experience and then let go of fear, guilt and shame.

18. I have a right to make decisions based on my feelings, my judgement or any reason that I chose.

19. I have a right to change my mind at any time.

20. I have the right to be happy.

21. I have the right to my own personal space and time needs.

22. It is okay to be relaxed, playful and frivolous.

23. I have the right to change and grow.

24. I have the right to be open to improve communication skills so that I may be understood.

25. I have a right to make friends and be comftorable around people.

26. I have a right to be in a non-abusive environment.

27. I can be healthier than those around me.

28. I can take care of myself, no matter what.

29. I have the right to grieve over actual or threatened losses.

30. I have the right to trust others who earn my trust.

31. I have the right to forgive others and forgive myself.

32. I have the right to give and to recieve unconditional love.

November 26, 2007
8:34 am
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Friendma
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((((((((((GG))))))))))

I just wanted to post to ya just in case you stop by and are readin, I think of ya often and I sure do miss ya!! I hope that you and yours are doin well! I hope that you are findin the strength and direction that you need to carry on down your path of healing. I love ya, GG!! Take care of you!! I'm sendin lots of love and hugs!! FM

November 26, 2007
6:27 pm
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bevdee
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Perky

Thank you for posting The Personal Bill of Rights. I have read it before but it's always good to see it again.

You "sound" good.

November 28, 2007
11:53 am
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Friendma
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I went to my doctor yesterday and we worked out the details of my surgery. I will have my hysterectomy on Jan. 14 and I will be in the hospital for at least 3 days possibly 4. They will be doin it abdominaly. I look forward to not havin any more female trouble but surgery does make me nervous. Any-who.......I called my mom yesterday and gave her the details and I told her that I would be in the hospital for at least 3 days and dependin on how I do I may stay one more day and she said "You'll be in there for 4 days, we all know how you are".....

Let me give you a little back ground...My mom doesn't show emotion unless it is frustration or anger or rage and so she doesn't cry or anything. She got hit with a softball in the eye and she never shed a tear. My step dad has called me a pussy many times and he doesn't show emotion except for frustration, anger or rage. He sees crying as a weakness and it makes him very mad when my son who is only 9 still cries and pouts at times. My step dad was raised military and that explains that and my mom's mom was the same with her.

I cry when I get mad, I hate it, I try to fight it but it never fails that as I get mad the tears start to fall, I do better now than ever not to cry over most things. I learned that showing emotion was a BAD thing to my folks. When I get sick or hurt I do struggle with crying or whining cause I hate to need someone but when I get sick or hurt I need someone and it makes me feel vulnerable and I usually get overwhelmed and break down.

My counselor has told me one of my biggest problems that hurts me is that I stuff my feelings. I do it cause I have learned from my care givers that it is bad and also cause my feelings just cause others problems and my folks have always said as I grew up, Oh, she is crying, call the doc she needs meds or oh, we need to get her into the therapist and so showing emotion was never a positive. Showing emotion means you are out of control in their eyes.

I also have not done well at controlling my emotions when I did let them out and I destroyed my marriage over that so I have learned to stuff and stuff well.

Any-who........My feelings are hurt over what my moms comment was, is that wrong of me? I cried last night about it, ugh!! I want to address it with her but it probably won't do any good just make more bad, she always finds a way to tell me that I make too much out of things and am too sensitive and I'm the only one I am hurting by expressing my issues that I just need to let go of it which I agree with to a point but only after I have tried to deal with it. She has taught me to stuff really well. She also has failed to tell me of my step dads cancer, and two family members died and she failed to tell me. She thinks I can't handle anything.

When I had my lap surgery two months ago and the doc told them that I had alot of scar tissue and endomitriosis and my right ovary was attached to the wall and all that had to be lasered she remarked "wow, I had no idea" as tho I was making my pain up or somethin. She also made the comment yesterday after I told her everything that "Oh, it's gonna be a Major Surgery" Duh, what did she think it was gonna be..........

I'm hurt and confused.........

November 28, 2007
1:33 pm
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needtoheal
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(((( FRIENDMA))))

Just want to send you a hug and let you know that I care.

Thanks for posting the bill of rights. I think that it is important for all of us to know that we are important and have rights!!!

November 28, 2007
1:34 pm
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needtoheal
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So sorry to hear what your mom has said to you.. I know that you must feel hurt and rejected when she speaks to you with such negativity..

((friendma))

🙂

November 28, 2007
2:01 pm
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Friendma
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((((((((((NEED))))))))))

November 28, 2007
2:19 pm
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alien
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(((friendma)))

November 28, 2007
4:28 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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(((Friendma))))

MOMS SUCK...

I am so sorry for the pain that you are going through...

It is ok to feel emotion...it really is. It is healthy...and you are learning to share them, and you are ok to do that here. It really is pretty safe...

Love you...LOTS...

Michy

November 28, 2007
4:49 pm
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Friendma
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((((((((((MICHY))))))))))

Thank ya so much sweet heart, I really needed to hear that!! I'm tryin to believe that it is ok to feel and show emotion but when my mom says crap like that to me I just suck it all back in, they have always loved to say "Suck it up, or Tough it out" UGH.......
Michy Poo I love you!!!! Hugs, hugs and more hugs to you!!!!!!!

November 28, 2007
5:10 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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((((((((((Friendma))))))))))))

You are always safe to share your feelings with me...I care, and I will listen. I KNOW that you are human. I wish I were there to give you a real human hug and tell you that I really love you....but, just wrap your arms around you and just squeeze. As long as you want, and as often as you want. Picture me being the one to do the huggin. I would if I were there.

I love you girl.....lots.

Love you,

Michy

(((((((((Friendma)))))))))))

November 28, 2007
5:33 pm
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lovinglife
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((((((Friendma))))))

November 28, 2007
5:38 pm
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Friendma
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((((((((((LL))))))))))

Thank ya for the hug!! I have missed ya so much! It made me smile to see your post! How are you doin? I hope that you and yours are doin well!! I'm sendin ya lots of love and hugs!!

November 28, 2007
5:38 pm
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Friendma
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((((((((((MICHY))))))))))

November 29, 2007
9:32 am
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Friendma
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((((((((((ALIEN))))))))))

I'm sorry I didn't post back to ya. I appreciate your hugs very much!! I hope you are doin ok. Has anyone told ya that you are special today?? Well, you are very special to me!! Safe hugs to ya!!

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