Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In
Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
The forums are currently locked and only available for read only access
sp_TopicIcon
free's something or other
February 27, 2008
9:27 pm
Avatar
soofoo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Free

You seem to be asking, "am I justified?" in ending it. If you are old-school, then you are never justified; if you are new school, then you are always justified because it is merely personal choice.

But you don't have to be any school. You are free. So what does free choose? What does free want? What will free do? And what rules does free follow, if free follows rules? What happens when free breaks her own rules? Do the rules change? Does free change?

My love to you.

February 28, 2008
12:29 am
Avatar
free
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 433
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

soofoo~

did he stop berating you after you made up? Did it happen again-him berating you? When you made up, how did you go about telling him he can't do that to you or did the key do that?

Were you able to trust him again or do you hold back?

thanks for posting here

I guess the answers to your questions, good questions I might add, is that I choose to stay here, for now.

If our marriage didn't entail sex, I think I'd be okay. Well, maybe not. I'm lonely in that department.

free

February 28, 2008
11:30 am
Avatar
soofoo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

The key made him stop berating me. It shocked the hell out of him. It worked when nothing else did. That was horrifying to me. He was silent the whole ride home. Which was what I needed.

Did the berating happen again? Yes. It was not the last time he pushed me too far. But it was the last time I went after him with a car key.

He makes mistakes. I make mistakes. Then forgiveness has to happen and that can be tough. The really tough things leave their mark. The car key is a mark. There are other marks. He probably has marks too that might be very different from mine.

Yes I trust him again. There is a while of holding back when you are healing from a car key type thing. But I find that I do eventually let it go, or work it out of me or whatever it is that happens in the forgiveness process. It will sometimes come back up if a similar situation happens. So I don't totally forget it, but I do trust again.

February 29, 2008
1:41 am
Avatar
free
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 433
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Thank you soofoo.

I'm thinking about the question: what happens when I break my own rules.

I don't know. I feel like shit, but also justified somehow.

I don't know what happens. I think with everything that happens in my life, I change.

free

March 1, 2008
2:37 pm
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Free, if the guy doesn't want to act like a Dad and he doesn't want to share equally in housework then he is not really cut out to be a husband--not to you, anyway.

His behavior sounds like a deal-breaker to me.

I would try taking him up on the counseling thing.

Let a professional explain to him what a schmuck he is being.

If he loves you and wants to stay married--he'll clean up his act.

March 1, 2008
7:30 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Free:

I agree w/ WD. Our case was a bit of the opposite in where I insisted on counseling, and he shot of he would die rather than go, but when it came down to it he went and I am more hopeful. He even agreed to return. I think the key tho was when we were at the counselor's I kept my mouth shut and let him do most of the talking. When the counselor wanted my interjection he asked. My husband said he felt the counselor was very fair and listened to him. That after he told me he'd not be shrunk but he'd go to help me get fixed.

Anyway, yes, there is a long way to go. Marriage always takes work. The think the counselor said tho, and I am not sure how to fix it yet is this... He said that hubby has to interact w/ me so I get my emotional needs as a woman met. If I do not then I get all out of whack and am bitchy. Then he feels nagged at and just wants to run to his brother's house. Understandable on both sides. The deal is tho that we have to BOTH do our parts. I have to not demand his time and in return he has to give it in a nice way.

For you it is that you need consideration and if he cannot give consideration then how much are you gonna be willing to give back. Now, how to get it thru to him I don't know. Take him up on the counseling and possibly the counselor will get it across to him. He won't snow a good counselor, they know what to look for.

Just my two cents for today.

Hope all is well.

March 1, 2008
9:17 pm
Avatar
free
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 433
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

60th? That's cool. Let me tell you why I think it's cool.

I don't think anything bad is gonna happen. do ya like numerology? I find numbers fascinating and often "see" them when people talk or in print or, especially, in nature.

the numbers you list are leading to

march 20, 2020

Your 60th is coming. Note the three two's. they add to 6. March, month three, note the three zeros. there are 6 numbers in this date, 6 non-numeric symbols (the 5 letters in march and the comma)

Your 60th year is a year of awareness for you red blonde. And that is what is happening. these things have always been there, you are just now noticing.

The two's and the zeros alternate. That's interesting. Does that mean anything to you?

what about 03 20 2020 : Let's look at it. What significance could the 03 be playing? 3 is an odd integer, 0 and 2 are even integers. 03 breaks an alternating pattern of numbers. How many people are involved in this coincidence? males and females?

don't mean to freak anybody out. I'm no numerologist or anything. I just think the stuff is cool. Heck my favorite number is pi.

HI MAMMA!

free

March 1, 2008
9:48 pm
Avatar
red blonde
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

free -

This is SPOOKY! I don't know why I pulled your thread up first! I just got home from work....and there is this message to me on YOUR thread!

WAY TOO COOL!

Yes, I do believe alot in things like astrology and numerology. I have 'read' palms and cards (regular and Tarot)...thought it is more of and inner 'knowing' rather than 'reading' the cards...more like 'reading' the personDefinitely believe that there is more to all the coincidences that have happened and are happening in my life. (I have been tested by Duke Univ...now the "Rhine Research Center" all my scores or percentages are 87% to 99% in ALL psychic abilities including healing...except the one I 'fudge' on purpose, to bring down - remote viewing.

And I do believe in God (or a postive beneficial energy/HP).

I am going to look into the numerology thing...I just freaked and I have been feeling kind of bad because this is my 60th and the first 'decade' birthday that has affected me this way.

Since 2/14/07...to 2/27/08...there was me (of course) female...another female, should include the bartender's wife because of their being married on 3/20/07? If so, 3 females...3 males.... a total of 6 people.

WOW!

March 1, 2008
9:53 pm
Avatar
red blonde
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Free,

The only ones who knew eachother were the man and his wife who were married last year on my BD...the man and the other woman in the very first incident (or coincidence) on Valentine's '07 did not know each other at all.

March 2, 2008
5:54 pm
Avatar
Zinnie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I got married on both mine and my sister's birthday - and we are not twins. Does that mean anything?

March 2, 2008
8:00 pm
Avatar
free
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 433
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

oh shoot red blonde I meant to put that on YOUR thread. I get to reading and thinking and...blurting...wherever I might be at during the moment of thinking.

I hope you're okay with that. Copy and paste and move it to your thread- that's cool.

That IS kinda spooky that you pulled up my thread first and my post to you was on this thread on accident.

coincidence?

I really don't think they exist. But when they occur, the reasons for them could be quite minimal in importance, from our perspective.

Now that you're looking red blonde, you're gonna see them everywhere. Kinda like when you're out in the backyard and you "suddenly" hear the lawn mower off in the distance. Well it was going for a while, you just hadn't acknowledged the senosory input.

this is cool- I love weird stuff.

Zinie you are a riot. Hey, when are your birthdays? We can check out the numbers and end it with "not 2" "the negation of 2", etc, and see what happens. Could be cool.

free

March 2, 2008
9:18 pm
Avatar
red blonde
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I wish I knew how to cut and paste it to my thread....really...I am not that sometimes the complete novice when it comes to doing that. I can't even do things with bold type etc. where as others can.

March 2, 2008
10:16 pm
Avatar
Zinnie
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 1
Member Since:
September 29, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Mine - 5/11/64

Sis - 5/11/70

March 2, 2008
10:58 pm
Avatar
red blonde
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Zinnie -

That is kind of eerie as well...What year did you get married?

That would be;

three 5's....which would be 6

three 11's (which breaks down to 2's) ....... which would also be a 6.

(and there are 6 years inbetween you and your sister.)

March 2, 2008
11:04 pm
Avatar
red blonde
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I would like to move this over to the either one of my other threads...
I don't want to be taking over free's thread.

Would that be okay with you, free? You don't need to be distracted by this...okay?

((((((((free)))))))))

March 3, 2008
1:18 am
Avatar
free
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 433
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

that's cool rb, I'm gonna copy and move. Ya highlight what ya want, go to "edit" and down to "copy" and then close out this thread, go to yours, and then "paste."

(((rb)))

March 3, 2008
1:23 am
Avatar
red blonde
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

FREE!

Thanks for showing me....WOW! Would you want me to move the other couple of ones as well? It's up to you!

((((free)))))

March 3, 2008
1:41 am
Avatar
red blonde
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

How are is everything with you?

March 3, 2008
2:16 am
Avatar
free
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 433
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Touch and go....marriage is hard work..

I want peace and harmony in my life. I don't need any bumps in the road to appreciate serenity. I got the point a long time ago- serenity is a treasure.

I like people, but they don't seem to go well in a zen garden. They trample.

free

March 3, 2008
2:26 am
Avatar
red blonde
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Me too!

I need peace and harmony in my life...Lord knows I hadn't really had any! It has been chaos for so long now.

March 9, 2008
7:18 pm
Avatar
red blonde
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Free -

Just checking in on you to see how you are doing.

March 10, 2008
1:41 am
Avatar
free
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 433
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi rb-

I'm doing good for now. Taking things one day at a time, and working on becoming financially independent again. I need to pay off debts, and that is going to take some time.

My husband should have never brought up divorce in anger and sworn at my child and I the way he did. Things will never be the same.

It's different now, for me.

He's not my soulmate.

I came here to find one, and I haven't. This concerns me. I don't want to come back to this plane. overall I don't like it.

But I'm doing good. I've been working out in my yard alot.

thanks for asking rb. How have you been?

free

March 11, 2008
2:00 am
Avatar
red blonde
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Still working on myself...it's going to take sometime to overcome all the 'conditioning' or brain washing by my mother and others. At times, it feels like I take one step forward and two steps back. I really have to work constantly on my self esteem/self worth and self confidence. I guess I have been terrorized, confused and criticized by people for so long that I have difficulty accepting encouragement or even 'praise'. I guess I am looking for 'me'.

Soulmates? I think I stopped believing in soulmates when I thought my first love abandoned me 40 years ago...when I blocked out all of the trauma I had experienced from just one night so long ago plus almost all of my memories up to, including, and shortly after that one night. I had no idea that my mother had been lying to me as well as him...keeping us from eachother. Thankfully, God brought us back together again in '05. He truly believes we are soulmates and says he has always looked for me all those years. He has faith in me, I only wish that I had faith in myself. I doubt myself all the time. My therapist says I am too hard on myself. I am not sure I can overcome the brainwashing that I have been through because it was always backed up with terror or abuse in some way by others before him. I hate being full of fear and worry all the time.

Now with happiness and being truly loved is within my grasp - again, I am totally afraid. Actually, terrified that perhaps God (that which I call - God) could possibly be playing a cruel joke on me and will rip him away from me again. I can not overcome this fear yet. I had wished so many times that God would just take me back home. I don't believe I can bear a life without him in it again. It would be like teasing a child...I know that you understand.

I don't want to come back to this plane either. I don't understand why I am here in the first place. My life has truly been very bizarre.

I am just fearful and confused lately. Before he came back into my life, I had given up, even lost hope. It has been very hard to regain that faith and hope...it has been a very long crawl up and I am so very tired at times. And at times I am so profoundly sad. I wish I could hate those who terrorized me and hurt me...I don't, I can't.

Inside of me there is so my turmoil. I am not feeling sorry for myself, but more or less am feeling that I shouldn't forgive myself for accepting the terror and abuse in order to feel that I was 'loved'.

March 11, 2008
2:33 am
Avatar
red blonde
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Free -

What scares me the most, Free, is that I truly do not understand WHY I am still on this 'plane'...for all intents and purposes...I should have stayed dead when I was born...or at least have been a total 'veggie'. And I should have died at the hands of many others...my mother included in those 'others'...yet...I am still here. I could have also ended my own life...but I haven't or can't.

I don't understand why God has made me 'appear' to others as someone they know and have them come into my life, tell me about their lives, confess their 'sins' to me, or impart some 'wisdom' to me and then just go, most never to be seen again. If it were just a few that have done this, I can ignore it...but when it has been hundreds or even thousands...how can I ignore that? I don't understand it and have become afraid...resulting in self isolation at times. This is a part of the 'bizarreness' of my life.

I wish someone understood this and can explain some of this to me because I surely do not understand any of it at all. Maybe I don't want to understand it and am trying desperately not to.

Or perhaps.........I am just crazy.

March 11, 2008
4:15 am
Avatar
red blonde
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
100sp_Permalink sp_Print

You asked why coincidences scared me so much. I stated that it was because who had recognized these 'coincidences' happening around me and scaring her...my therapist (hence the title of my thread 'when do coincidences stop being .....' but that was only part of a true statement.

It was the 'coincidences' that happened (and, shortly afterwards, prompted my returning to the same therapist) ... which cost the life of an innocent woman ... which I have felt responsible and guilty for until this day. That is why I am afraid....that is what frightened me.

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 349
Currently Online:
23
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 111165
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38716
Posts: 714574
Newest Members:
anissafield, Aemorph, CaitlynForlong, AndrinNetzer, MaarcusPedersen, MarcusPedersen
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2021 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved.
Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer | Do Not Sell My Personal Information