Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
Free or someone that can help w/ dv please, - mamaC
October 18, 2006
8:01 pm
Avatar
kasie919
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
151sp_Permalink sp_Print

mama and Free:

I have maintained the no-contact until today, i was doin sort of ok, but lucifer wanted my son tonight, of course he couldnt get to the school in time to pick him up so i had to go pick him up and drop him off,

I got the third degree,

Wqhat i really want to say to him is:

You have totally messed up my life, you are an evil, decietful man, im trying not to hate you, but your not making is to hard.I want you out of my life and leave me alone. I will never return to this house, or this marriage so please get it out of you head...PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE!!!!

But I dont>....

What i do is, listen to him tell me how i feel, how he knows what i want, how he thinks i should feel, blah blah blah...

Waht the hell is wrong with me??

part of it is becasue i dont want to fight in front of my son, an im afraid if i say one wrong thing he will keep me from leaving with my son,
Im desperate, and have tried all i can to keep peace, not sure if i can do that any more...

Im tired, physically, emotionally, mentally, EXHSUSTED!~! i cant even type right..

lucifer, has this therory, that he knows it all, and is convinced since i have put half my life, and 15 years into this marriage that i shouldnt allow it to go away,

WHAT???? hes crazy i tell ya!!!

I think maybe i should sit down and write him aletter telling him im never coming back and to please leave it at that??
what do you think???

I know once i do, i will not allow little man to his dads with out a court order, nope hes got to have some kind of supervised visistaion, hes nuts, and i dont want him taking off with my son, no way!!

FREE:

what do you mean by micromanage?

Im trying to do this right, waht more can i do, and yes i know about the classes, if i could afford some i would but ive decided to get more involved in the church to get out and meet them there, get in the game and get involved, that way i know i will always have someone to turn to..

well im gonna get off this thingy, im beat want some peace to myself and need to rest, im out of insulin, wont have it until tomorrow, feel the shakes coming on, so im gonna go..

I will check later, looking forward to your advice...

Love kaise

P.s.

ARMYANGEL::

where are you?? you ok? haven theard from you in a few days, please be safe....im thinking of you my cyber sister.......

October 18, 2006
8:44 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
152sp_Permalink sp_Print

Kasie & Mama,

I started a thread today "depressed & hopeless" after kiriri response on "hurting today". Why did it get brought up??? It makes me feel like S... makes me feel worst.. WHAT A ROTTEN LOSSER I AM.

Didn't mean to mess up your thread!!

October 18, 2006
8:59 pm
Avatar
kasie919
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
153sp_Permalink sp_Print

Army:

Honey, i just gave that kiri person a peace of my mind on another thread and im about to go to the site coordinator about this, ive read about 6 other posts to people where that kiri is trying to provoke, clearly has not read our agree ment..

Now listen to me...

you are not a looser, you are in a ver serious, and hard relationship, and this is very hard to get out of, I know, im right with you, please if you want, write your posts on this side, its where i usaally stay, unless i know you have something going on the other side,

whatever you do, do not allow someone as low and as hurtful as this kiri person get to you, they rate right there with your husband, ok??

trash, garbage, unkind, heartless, uncaring and abnormal,

We love you !!!!

Love hugs and butterfly kisses...

kasie

October 18, 2006
9:06 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
154sp_Permalink sp_Print

Thanks Kasie - can't say/talk now because, I'm bawling my eyes out...

Thanks for being there/here..don't make sense today, just stupid somedays.

October 18, 2006
9:09 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
155sp_Permalink sp_Print

Armyangel:

I haven't read the post, but I want to tell you this anyway. We have many different types folks here. They come from different countries, different backgrounds, different opinions....

Take what does you good and ignore the rest. If you take to heart what every person here says you'll jump off a bridge. You know who you are and what is goin on there better than anyone here. Don't let anyone make you feel bad about who you are. IF you were doing wrong then your gut would be lettin you know this.

OK. that said... kasie. I'll be back to type in a bit. gonna go read and let the pain meds work. I'm a bit late on my meds; my fault.

be back soon

October 18, 2006
9:10 pm
Avatar
kasie919
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
156sp_Permalink sp_Print

Army:

We are living in a very painfull situation, we are dealing in life the best we can, I so wish i knew who you were, or where you lived, im all the way on the other side of the us though...

But I know as sure as im sitting here writing to you, I would pick up and come get you and your kids, kick his ass, like he did you, and then some, then roll out the door like thelma and louise!!!!

hahahahaha...

I love you Army!!!

you are coming around , I promise you are gonna make the step...

you are opening up more and more each day... talking is good, strength is needed, you keep on, your gonna be jusst fine...

Kasie

October 18, 2006
9:14 pm
Avatar
free
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 433
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
157sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hi Kassie

What did it take for you to leave? What were your thoughts, feelings?

free

October 18, 2006
9:19 pm
Avatar
kasie919
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
158sp_Permalink sp_Print

What it took was that night when he almost beat my son to death,

the fear in my sons eyes, and the pain i felt taking the blows, but seeing my son watch it..i cry as we speak, feeling that fear all over, now i worry for my little man, and the minute i get him home, and away from lucifer, i check his body, for the smallest of scratches..

Waht it took was turning my hurt into anger, and then the want and will to live...

Now im on survival mode,

I have lived Armys life, i have felt her lowest of lows, it pains me to know she hurts like she does, I can still feel the blows from years ago, i dont think we ever forget, the emotional scars are far worse than the physical..

October 18, 2006
9:30 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
159sp_Permalink sp_Print

Kasie & mama - I re-read what I wrote doesn't make sense.

I started thread today (depressed..)... Then tonight the old thead gets brought up (hurting..)..

Kasie I'll write tomorrow...I'm sorry I can't focus

October 18, 2006
9:33 pm
Avatar
kasie919
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
160sp_Permalink sp_Print

Ok sweetie, you go get some rest, its ok, your allowed to feel this way..

No one here will tell you any different..

nite...

October 18, 2006
10:02 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
161sp_Permalink sp_Print

It was many years ago for me but it took my almost dieing to decide it was time to fight whether I'd be dead or not. well, kinda.

I had an ovarian cyst rupture and I woke him and told him something was wrong. This went on from 1am when he came in drunk till 4am and the doc told me get my butt to the hospital or die. Then he finally rolled outta bed extremely angry at 6am to take me to the hospital. I swear he hit every bump and swerved to hurt me all the way up there as he cursed me. I knew then that he didn't care if I were dead or not.

While at the hospital the police came in and talked to me. I guess the nurse saw how he was treating me and called them. I couldn't press charges. All I could think of is that I was goin into emergency surgery and my kids would be home w/ him.

It was 3 months later i found out about yet another affair and when he left me I ran to the attorney and filed for divorce. In my state the person who has the kids and files first retains custody of the kids till it is final.

Just thought I'd share so Army could see and ... I don't know.... just felt like sharing. I think it does good to others to see how desperately low and far we have to be taken down till we can swim to the top gasping for air.

That's it. 🙂

October 18, 2006
10:09 pm
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
162sp_Permalink sp_Print

Free: What's your story. What did it take for you to finally get tough enough to go?

Kasie: You say you keep trying to keep the peace. Honey there is no peace to be had. I'm sorry but there won't be any.

Yes, the you think, you feel, you did, syndrome. Isn't it just amazing how much better he knows you than you know you?

I know you are thinkin about little man, and I am so proud of you for putting his needs and feelings first. BUT, weenie won't back down at all until you stand up to him. Then he's gonna come at you even harder because you are finally standing up. Sound familiar.

I don't know what to tell you Kasie. I used to sit and just take it too for my kids. Then when he finished and we drove off I'd roll my eyes and say, whew, didn't know your dad knew so much about me. NOT. We'll let dad think he knows it all so he doesn't fuss at us so much." I know not the right thing to do probably. I didn't bad mouth him, in a sense, but it did break the ice to laughter and funning on the way home.

Hang in there Kasie. You are doin great; you honestly are.

October 19, 2006
12:33 am
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
163sp_Permalink sp_Print

How can you two talk about it isn't it painful? I try to bury everthing, hide it it's toooo painful. I have only wrote a sneak of what goes on here...it's okay I survive...

October 19, 2006
1:33 am
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
164sp_Permalink sp_Print

Armyangel:

No honey you won't survive if you decide to stay. I too used to hold everything in. It has literally ruined my health. It's been diagnosed and in the diagnoses it specifically references my first marriage as the reason. If you keep stuffing it then you will be like me. My illness began when I was 35.

It is painful to talk about. My divorce was 16 years ago. I have not been physically abused since. I still have some problems tho. Example... it was less than a month ago and now hubby was playin and started to put a cord around my neck; just pretending. It set me off, but instead of goin hysterical and falling on the floor ;instead I jumped up and ripped him apart verbally. I felt bad after. And I say now.. "why did I not do that in the first marriage? why did I let him hurt me?" The answer is... now I know better; now i am strong; now I ain't takin no crap off any man; not more than once.

Armyangel.. you will get there too. Kasie and Mich will get there too if they keep trying. It feels like this specially if kids are involved. I have faith that you will decide to nto take anymore.
Has he hurt you anymore??

((( army angel )))

October 19, 2006
1:47 am
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
165sp_Permalink sp_Print

kiri's thread said I disappointed everyone....It keeps going around and around, in my head...I'm sorry if I did... I won't come back...I didn't mean too

October 19, 2006
2:13 am
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
166sp_Permalink sp_Print

Armyangel:

YOU have disappointed Nobody. And that is not what she said exactly either. I have to go look again and i'll be right back.

you still here??

talk to me please

October 19, 2006
2:16 am
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
167sp_Permalink sp_Print

I can't talk tonight...It's too hard...

October 19, 2006
2:25 am
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
168sp_Permalink sp_Print

She said.... "If you can't leave, then all your friends here would have wasted their time"

Well, I spoze she did say it after all. But what she said was "IF you don't leave".

Honey you do not disappoint any of us here. We are here to heal and to help. There is NO right and NO wrong answers. What there is, is words of help and comfort.

You spill honey. Anything and everything you feel like saying is ok here. If posting in support is upsetting you so much you can post up here in libs. Not that many folks come up here.

October 19, 2006
2:27 am
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
169sp_Permalink sp_Print

It's ok. You don't have to talk if you don't want to. When you are ready to talk then I know there will be someone here to listen. You just hollar out. OK?

October 19, 2006
2:30 am
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
170sp_Permalink sp_Print

It's late for you.. I can't say anything yet... besides, I can't type I'm crying ...I guess I'm just depressed, and can't shake it off

October 19, 2006
2:34 am
Avatar
mamacinnamon
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: 0
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
171sp_Permalink sp_Print

((((( ARMYANGEL )))))

It's hard to face the monster of truth in the face isn't it. I'm sorry for your pain.

You rest tonight.

October 19, 2006
10:55 am
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
172sp_Permalink sp_Print

Mama,

Something dawned on me last night. When you said there will be someone around to listen... Does that mean your leaving???

October 19, 2006
1:48 pm
Avatar
kasie919
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
173sp_Permalink sp_Print

Hey mama, Free, and Army...

Army I find it hard to beleive mama would ever leave this site, she is a good influence on us all and a Very big help. She has the lords wings waiting for her.. Dont you worry she will always be here, what i thnik she meant was someone will always be here to help and listen to you...

You are doing just fine my friend, you are going to pull out of this slump..

here is an idea..

Take this for what its worth but im gonna suggest it any way..

Shock the hell out of your husband, just like we have read on your other thread, get up, get dressed put the nicest outfit on you have, do your make up, put on perfume, look yourslef face to face in the mirror, and tell yourself how beautiful you really are, and I know in my heart you are..

Then go, walk out that door, take your girls or make sure they have some place to be, and go.. Im not saying leave him, but get out, to the mall, to the park, to the church, some where, and when you get there, wherever it may be, just sit there, and feel the moment, feel the peace,the silence, the words of God telling you,what you need to hear...Do it for you, for your girls, and for peace of mind..

Then when you come home, look him eye to eye, if he is there, and tell him, you have had enough, It will scare you shitless, but looking him in the eye, does wonders,, I just found this out myself, Im tired if hiding and running, and im tired of the pain,,,when he tells you your horrible, lazy, blah blah blah, look at him, shake your head, say yes, yes i am... then say, its time to change...
Then once your ready and you have practiced this over and overm and you kahunas get bigger, you will either leave or tell him to go.. I chose to roll, I didnt want to be in a house where i couldnt afford, that he had crap all over, i had less stuff to move, and this is my home, i picked it out , i pay the bills I am responsible for what goes on here.

YOu know what?? I can lock the door, turn off the phone, and be FREE!! totally FREE!!....

My son, he will be ok, Im gona get over this slump im in, im sure in my heart i have to stand up for myself, I have to say enough is enough,he will not bully me any more..no more!!

Then I will shut the door and go on with my life... not matter how much pain it causes, because i have a 5 year old little boy depending on me showing him the right way to life...

I thought about alot today, went to the School at my church, am going to have my son tested to see if he can get in, I want him to have a good christian back round, i feel its important, although Im catholic, i believe this school will benefit him, and lead him into church and a good moral standard..

he will be taught to love one another, not beat them or hurt themm..an i will attend that church unitl i move away or die, they have given me a peace in part of my heart, so settling, in one part of my mind...

You can do this Army, I know you can, take you time, keep telling yourself, you area agood woman and you deserve the best, you dont need to be treated like this, and you know, you arent a bad person...

i will keep you close to my heart, and in my prayers, your gonna be fine. i just know it...

Lots of Love...

Kasie

October 19, 2006
2:17 pm
Avatar
kasie919
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
174sp_Permalink sp_Print

Army Angel,

I know this will make you cry, but its impotant you know, you can break free...

Martina Mcbride, can sure make you think.....

this is our lives and others as well...

You might have a broken wing, but you can fly...

I love you..

Kasie

Hence where I got Angel.....

She loved like he was the last man on earth. gave him everything she ever had.
He’d break her spirit down, then come lovin’ up on her. give a little, then
Take it back. she’d tell him about her dreams - he’d just shoot ’em down. lord,
He loved to make her cry. "you’re crazy for believin’ you’ll ever leave the
Ground." he said "only angels know how to fly."
And with a broken wing, she still sings. she’ keeps an eye on the sky. with a
Broken wing, she carries her dreams. man, you ought to see her fly.
One sunday mornin’, she didn’t go to church. he wondered why she didn’t leave.
He went up to her bedroom, found a note by the window, with the curtains
Blowin’ in the breeze, and with a broken wing, she still sings. she keeps an
Eye on the sky. with a broken wing, she carries her dreams. man, you ought to
See her fly. with a broken wing, she carries her dreams. man, you ought to see
Her fly. (with a broken wing oooooh)

October 19, 2006
2:54 pm
Avatar
armyleo
New Member
Members
Forum Posts: -1
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline
175sp_Permalink sp_Print

Kasie & Mama,

You two took that wing and flew...

You ARE the strong ones you broke free... I can't, I'm not good...no one will love me... I don't want to be abandoned I don't want to be alone...I was when I was little...I just want to be loved...

Mama...He started to hurt me again...but it's okay, he stopped..he said he was sorry he says he loves me...

ArmyAngel - whose been sitting on the bathroom floor all morning crying

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
24
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110929
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38539
Posts: 714213
Newest Members:
stanley, LarteyWellnessGroup, dr ado spell caster, Leslie Ann Satin, overmyhead201, delight1080
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer