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Forgiving ourselves
June 14, 2005
8:18 pm
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SoulSpirit
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Once again, timing is impeccable...
This seemed appropriate to post... it is from a daily email I get.

June 14, 2005
Forgiving Yourself
Releasing Guilt
We all know what it feels like to feel guilty about something and many of us struggle with feeling guilty all the time. Guilt makes us feel that we are somehow unforgivable. While this experience is common, it is detrimental to our overall wellbeing. Feeling guilty generally promotes a sense of powerlessness-an anguished agonizing over a past action that cannot be changed. The problem with this is that it doesn't inspire us to forgive ourselves, make amends for mistakes, and move forward free of emotional baggage.

Originally, guilt referred to the fine paid for proven wrongdoing. Once you made the payment, in time or money, for what you had done, you were free-free of the sentence and free of the guilt. The problem with guilt as it is often experienced now is that it becomes a permanent state of mind for some people. In this case, it is a neurotic preoccupation rather than a fair assessment of wrongdoing followed by a course of action that leads to reparation.

It is part of the human experience to make mistakes and hurt others. There is no way to avoid this entirely, and wallowing in guilt will not help you or anyone else. It will not prevent future suffering. Understanding this is the first step towards liberating yourself from guilt.

If you are hanging onto guilt about something, the first thing you need to do is practice compassion for yourself; you are human and you make mistakes. Compassion and self-forgiveness are much more effective than guilt in helping you determine a course of effective action. You may need to make an apology, or you may need to make some changes in yourself. Know that with each action you create healing for yourself and anyone you have hurt. Finally, learn from your mistakes, but never beat yourself up. Know that you are inherently good, love yourself, and always do your best. Then there will be no place for guilt in your life.

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June 14, 2005
11:50 pm
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on my way
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SS...
You know I have never even thought about having COMPASSION for myself, always for someone else but not for me...so I have learned something new, will begine ot have compassion for myself. It sounds like such a loving word!!

To me guilt is good if we have done something against our morals or as we have been taught...it is conscience, we feel it when we wee children. But I think e should recognize it but not feed it to beat ourselves up with. Or maybe being contrite is a safer more healthy way to be rather than feel guilt.

"Guilt" is a hopeless feeling, as it can hinder or stop someone from growing, moving forward with healing. AS long as we feel guilty, we do not love ourselves or accept ourselves. So then as above we need to forgive ourselves for nay wrong we have done.

They go hand in hand.

Great thread subject!!

June 15, 2005
1:45 am
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mamacinnamon
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I posted this on another thread but have modified a bit to forgiving self.

On the topic of forgiveness. I usually recommend a book called "When Forgiveness Doesn't Make Sense" by Robert Jeffress.

CS Lewis wrote "To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable, because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you." Unfortunately, for those of us who have been genuinely wounded, the prospect of forgiving those who have caused us pain often seems impossible. (This includes forgiving ourselves for our own destructive or abusive behaviors.) Yet, through Christ, all things are possible including forgiveness.

What is important about forgiving whether said to the person or to yourself is that you are healing yourself. Not the person that hurt you. In fact, the person that hurt you probably does not even remember the incident or care.

Forgiveness is part of self healing. It's part of growing; part of learning to respect yourself.

Just my take on the subject, and alot of what I got from the book.

June 15, 2005
9:06 am
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2bstrong
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Soul Spirit:

Thank you for the post. I am hanging on to guilt with all my might. It has been so difficult for me to reconcile with myself, especially since the recent end of a relationship. I am a sensible and forgiving human being, but I struggle to forgive myself. I dream of undoing past damage. I pray so much about it, and as God for help.

I hope everyday for a break through.

2b

June 15, 2005
6:10 pm
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2b

http://www.joycemeyer.org... she has some wonderful teaching healing messages that teach us how to live everyday life! She is marvelous.

It is a process, it takes time, and committment to move forward, it doesn't happen over night, and it means working diligently to change our thinking processes...

I can say this because I have been there... have worked hard... and am still working at it.

Good luck to you, God Bless!

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