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flegen in hades (co-dep)
May 10, 2007
7:25 pm
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flegen
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September 27, 2010
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hey all.

few years back didn't even know what co-dependency is, now i have learned that i'm basically the poster child for this disorder. basically my wife after a year of marriage took the brakes off of her drinking, or the demon in the bottle did, and basically did nothing but work and drink (at least in the beginning). my trying to get her to slow down did no good whatsoever, except to start a few arguements. obviously the sex life took a nosedive and so did her health. doctors telling her did no good.

gradually the happy drunk turned into the suicidal drunk, which is when i realised what a problem i had. not long after i came in from work and while her car was outside, no wife. got a call from a friend a little later who somehow she had gotten in touch with who said where she was, which in a pretty major state mental hospital. a policeman stopped by the next day to tell me he had found her on our back porch drunk and crying and he was obligated to involuntary commit her, basically an arrest, in a way.

visiting every thursday meant taking all day off work and driving 2 hours one way. plus sitting thru 2 hours of counselor-speaches.
well she was there for 4 months while i struggled with all the bills and she soon relapsed when she got out. she kept it under control for a few weeks but soon went back in. this time her sis took her when she found her drunk when she had lain outta work.

basically i've just tried to support her the whole time.

long story short, after several relapses when she went back in i told her she had to get straight or i was gone so that time was her last. she's now been sober about a year.
the problem is after all i 've been thru i feel like i'm shell-shock and really not in love anymore. i thought if the drinking just quit it would all be like before but it's not. i moved out a month ago and after the begging to come back stopped she now wants to date occasionally an i'm so stressed i can't make a clear decision. my mom just died couple months ago which has added to the stress. thinking of goin to a coda meeting, maybe that will help.

ok, i gotta run. feedback welcome. flegen

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