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Female Orgasm
November 11, 2003
6:59 pm
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Molly
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Tez, thank you for your openess. You have again shed some light and understanding in my direction. I met some one recently where I surrendered to the moment, such freedom I haven't felt in many years. We have been together a few times since, and each time has been just as free, wonderful enjoyment of each other. He has asked me to stay over night each time and I have declined. I live close, but was for some reason hesitant. This last time he asked, and said why not, you'll have to do this sooner or later ? That was Friday, we met again on Sunday, he truly I belive wanted what you languaged. Sunday he fell asleep wrapped around me, and I sensed that it satisfied a longing. If the opportunity presents its self I will stay the next time. I am beginning to believe that age makes a difference, those that have had the opportunity to experience the other comforts a woman can bring to a man. Even their scent, vaginal, or perfumed, the softness, its all part of the opposites attracting.
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Not all prostitutes are dirty, and I believe that evolution is happening here, it is easier to have paid what ever for what ever than marriage. There are certain sites on line, where I read the ads posted, and wonder why a man would ever succomb to marriage again, however Tez pointed out perhaps a longing that a prostitute can't provide, or won't with out the stigma of show me the money.
Bridgh
I can remember my first oral experience like it was yesterday, and it was uncomfortable at first. I had to get over the fact, well several obvious issues, and relax. I had to trust, I had to feel good about him, and me. I was still such a child as I reflect today. Women really American women have been so brain washed, and so damn ignorant. So many factors go into sex with women, and the ears are the most signifigant. I had enjoyed oral pleasure many years, until my head messed with it. Anger distrust, insecurity, fear, crap .... But it messed with every thing. However I have found that with the right moments, person, place, when orally aroused, I want the penitration, now!!!! I think when the woman is aroused she is more willing, and a better partner, thus that devine concept that men have discovered as generous, is really selfish...LOL They get better participation, when we get it perhaps first. We are complicated.
This recent adventure has put me back in touch with my sexuality, and damn its better than ever . I feel free, not worried about a damn thing but having a good time, and giving one. I had been aprehensive for many months, exhibiting my body, disease factors that I teach about, the mores of the past, and sis told me one night walking out the door, hey your not 15 any more..... Damn true, as I will be 50 next week, and its about time I enjoyed my self.

November 12, 2003
10:07 am
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mj
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Our sexuality is a natural instinct, born within us. Babies are known to become aroused even within the walls of its mothers uterus before they are born.

Masturbation is also a feel good sensation of touching oneself.

Orgasm is another natural response to stimulation; be it emotional, physical, or mental.

Why do I react so negatively to others talking about this natural innate part of me?

The natural wonderment that a child feels is easily manipulated to train them that they shouldn't be this way.
I am reaching to understand and change what doesn't work. Female Orgasm is a marvelous sensation to experience.

November 12, 2003
6:03 pm
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Mj.

You asked the question:
"Why do I react so negatively to others talking about this natural innate part of me?"

I don't know the answer to that question; but I'm sure that you do, albeit unconsciously.

I had an interesting conversation with my partner recently. She dislikes me laughing at or even listening to a sexually based joke when told to me by a woman. When I probed around in her psyche, it appears that she sees talking about sexuality in any form as being only appropriate when within the confined of an intimate relationship. It appears that she sees any shared intimacy of any kind, sexually based or otherwise, between myself and someone of the opposite sex other than herself as 'unfaithfulness' and 'betrayal' of trust. Needless to say this 'possessiveness' has led to much difficulty within our relationship.

Do you see the open discussion of sexuality in this forum as some kind of 'unfaithfulness'?

Or is it that, in childhood, you were conditioned to believe that 'nice girls' don't talk about such things openly? The implication for the self-esteem in holding this belief is that if one openly and publicly discuss one's sexuality at depth, albeit anonymously, then this makes one socially unacceptable. Such emotion arousing self-judgmentality is so inhibiting in all dimensions of our life. Fear of abandonment based, low level anxiety, felt as uncomfortableness, can often be the result of partaking in such a discussion.

Does any of this 'ring true' for you?

November 12, 2003
6:32 pm
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Molly.

Good for you!!! You go for it, gal.

50 years old next week? Happy biffy.

You coming into the prime of your life! At 50 I was entering powerlifting competitions. At 61, I still work out, ride a Japanese Harley look-alike motorcycle, ballroom dance and make love. I intend doing all of these things for many years yet - just not as often perhaps. 🙂

November 12, 2003
10:08 pm
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Molly
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Ah, gee thanks Tez, I guess all good things come at the "right?" time ????
I really do think something clicked not to long ago, like I tried to explain to Bel. I have never felt so free, so uninhibited, so complete. Loving it. Don't have every thing I want, but my NEEDS are covered. Had a few physical set backs this year, that helped me to appreciate and maintain the grace of good health, something that we young ones always take for granted. I did my first marathon this year, watching seemed harder than participating, so I am planning on being a participant next year. You are an inspiration. Thanks for the good words.

November 13, 2003
12:50 am
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I think my discomfort about all the sexual titles on the site made me feel like I was surrounded with sexual perversion. I felt my private space....the AAC had been invaded with conversations about a very personal subject. I felt embarrassed by being here.

I was very uncomfortable with reading as if I was doing something wrong.

I was embarrassed by the open talk of how everyone was reaching orgasm and by what method. It felt extremely personal.

I reread the thread numerous times just to figure out why I felt this way.

November 13, 2003
11:27 am
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eve
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Hey mj,
I felt a little bit like you, and started the "lets talk about talking about sex" tread, to find out more about what makes me uncomfortable, and how I would define my boundaries. Care to join me over there?

November 13, 2003
11:50 am
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Hey MJ and Eve, this thread makes me uncomfortable too, but I wanted to let you guys know that I feel exactly the same way as MJ and have been married for 18 years. I guess I wish I felt more free to be open with talking about these things. The words will just NOT come out of my mouth. Even talking with my counselor I feel like a teenager or a child when we get into anything sexual in nature. Silly, huh?

November 13, 2003
2:17 pm
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mj
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Not silly at all. I think that talking about sex in front of anonymous people seems just as strange as talking about sex with acquaintances. I think sex has become to common of subject in our present society. Sex is definitely our choice between consenting parties.
So it feels more like voyeurism being paraded about and exploited.

November 13, 2003
9:53 pm
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Molly
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I personally had to overcome my "stuff" for professional reasons. Suddenly I was tossed into giving HIV safe sex lectures to my clients. After being married my entire life, I had to be taught how to use a condom, talk about uncomfortable!!!!! A few of the counselors in a training given by a gay fellow, spoke their opinion on sexuality. Not only were they punished, the entire clinic had to go through sexual sensitivity training!!!!! The entire seminar was given by Transvestites, did I spell that right ? Couldn't tell who was man or woman, and to be honest it took the focus off the training trying to guess. Sorry if that was offensive to any one. How ever after many years of STD trainings, HIV trainings, and hearing all of what people do, and being encouraged to create an atmosphere of open ness. Guess I got it, but trust me, it was only recently that I personally have been able to discuss. The most amazing thing to me, is the age difference, and modesty. My partner who is 10 years younger is so verbal, something some of us older American would never dream of being with our partners, but .... it really does work, as I am now discovering. My mom did say much, dad either, just don't get pregnant, and good girls don't do it till they are married. Now with our children, and the disease ratios, and the total sexuality that is sold to every one, we really need to be able to talk about it. It takes time, trust, comfort with your self, and perhaps it is only that I have been forced into this arena, that I can now ask the questions that I need to know from all types of practices, and I still don't know them all, to help stop the spread of disease. Trust me, from my sex workers--- politically correct for prostitutes today, I have gotten a load of make me blush still information. Even up to a year ago, I wouldn't have been able to post what I did a few days ago, and I thought about it, but am today really comfortable, and perhaps it is because it is strangers here, but I really would have to come this close to openess in a group setting with my co-workers..... now that is hard, especially the next day!!!!!

November 14, 2003
3:20 pm
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bel
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Hi Molly yes things have changed greatly. My mother never told us anything about sex and if we asked she told us to shut up. Dad well he was another story.

My grandson asked me the other day what a virgin was and I could not tell him. I told him to go ask his daddy. But he is curious more and more each day and so are my stepdaughters but I dont think its my place to tell them anything do you?

November 14, 2003
3:47 pm
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mj
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Molly I admire your professionalism.

I don't have a problem with my intimate partner....discussing sex. I have a problem with others talking about their bodies and what they do with them. I am not inhibited in the privacy of my personal life. I think some things need to remain private.

Most people don't discuss how much they make. Should we start a thread, I make this much , how much do you make and see how much response we will get as a basis of what is acceptable in our society as a norm?

November 14, 2003
3:51 pm
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mj
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I guess I didn't state financial income as what I mean't by make 🙂

November 14, 2003
3:54 pm
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mj
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Bel, if my granddaughter asked me what a virgin was, I would consider her age, and explain it as simply as I could....For instance, Geez why do you want to know that? If she said that some little boy had been asking....I would then want to know who and get to know more. Sexual abuse is occurring far too often in our young people. I definitely would question the reason for his question but in a way that he does not feel interrogated or uncomfortable.

November 14, 2003
4:16 pm
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Mj.

You posted:

"Most people don't discuss how much they make. Should we start a thread, I make this much , how much do you make and see how much response we will get as a basis of what is acceptable in our society as a norm?
"

Why do you think it is that hardly anyone would respond?

Would it be that they fear the negative judgmentality of others, do you think?

Would it be that the same inhibitions would also stop them from public speaking, frollicking like children on a beautiful spring day or 'wasting time' enjoying a sunset when they 'should' be doing their household chores?

How we constrain ourselves by our fears - and we all seem to do it until its too damned late.

A famous person once said: "Unless ye become as little children ... "

November 14, 2003
5:09 pm
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mj
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Mj is giggling about now.
Why? I am nervous 🙂

November 14, 2003
5:20 pm
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So what you are saying TEZ is that because I can boldly state I make $10 dollars an hour now....that I have an ego....that is stopping me from divulging my personal sexual preferences?

What I think is maybe men standing together urinating might be a subject of future change. I think that is really strange why men would want to do this in the first place. Because they were taught this? I don't know.
Just seems to me an invasion of men's privacy as well. Maybe that is why men are so concerned about the size of their penises. I know women wouldn't be worried about their bodies so much if there wasn't so much porn or promiscious men comparing them to others..... Makes me wonder what your agenda is here?

November 14, 2003
7:11 pm
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Molly
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MJ, where do you live ? have you traveled ? I remember going to a bath room in France--- it was just three holes in the ground... women got to see women, just like the men did, it was eliminating..... period... Not that your feelings are being judged, but experience changes you, like those dressing rooms where there is just an open room..... damn sales and 50%off.
Discussing sex here to me is more like an educational forum, not for
Voyers.... thus I think the freedom to express oneself openly. This isn't at all like some chat room of looking for a good time, e-mail me at ....
For some of us, it has been an experience, to explore our boundry lines, what we are comfortable with or not, and then explore that... I in some ways wish I was Lissetts (sp) age had a safe place to come language my feelings about sexuality, boyfriends, and what to do, with input from other than my parents, whom I wouldn't have ever ever shared my real feelings, or my girl friends that were just as ignorant as me. Which brings me to Bel's post.

November 14, 2003
7:28 pm
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mj
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Molly, did you enjoy eliminating this way or was it done just because you needed to eliminate.

I have never chose to go where I cannot eliminate in private. It is part of my criteria for comfortable accomadations.

If you see this as my choice you may also see me not divulging my personal sexual preferences. Also My choice.
Eve invited me to join her in talking about this and now I choose not to converse about this subject any more.

November 14, 2003
8:53 pm
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Molly
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Bel, you didn't say how old your grandson is, but it immediately reminded me of an experience with my daughter. She was just around 3 with her Cabage patch kid in her arms, like a mom and said while shopping out loud Mommy me and my baby want to know where babies come from. Immediately two other older women got closer, and said we want to hear this, I said from a mommy and a daddy, she said not me... my baby,was it K-Mart or God. I said K-Mart. Just like your grandson, sometimes it is the moment, you have to grab it. Depending on your choice of morality, go for it. I would have said it is some one who is inexperienced. That leaves it wide open, no ????? I would have tried to answer the question, with out stepping on toes, yet if it went deeper, driven my agenda home. However my agenda, keeps changing, and damn it I am confused with the sex thing, like damned if you do, damned if you don't. Every thing is in a state of evolution, go with your gut, make your choice, its the best that you can make at the time or you wouldn't have made it.
Take a stand for what you belive and language it to the youth.
I used to joke with my daughters that virginity is such a rare commidity, that they should hold on to it, and wait for the higest bidder.. And e-bay didn't exist then.
Funny I know how my youngest lost it, heard it through the grape vine, nothing about the oldest, and still wonder if she is gay, or bi, or still a virgin.... The one thing I do know is that they held on to their values, and knew that they made a choice. Based on my knowledge of my youngest a weighted choice...
We need to talk straight to kids, and educate them, it is in a way freedom. I wonder what my daughters grandmother would say she was born in 1902, God bless

November 15, 2003
10:37 am
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Heck no I didn't choose it!!!!!!! But when you gotta go..... It taught me mind over matter. I had waited and searched as long as I could for what I thought was up to my standards. At the time I was greatful trust me.
I think it is great that you are drawing your line in not discussing this in a more exposed forum, yet willing to explore with Eve, where you perhaps feel more comfortable. That is one of the things about life that some how got lost, close female relationships, or sewing circles. Now we have to go to web sites.

November 15, 2003
10:46 am
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mj
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Hugs MOlly...thanks for understanding.

November 15, 2003
6:35 pm
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Mj.
You said:

"So what you are saying TEZ is that because I can boldly state I make $10 dollars an hour now....that I have an ego....that is stopping me from divulging my personal sexual preferences?"

Whether the cap fits or not is for you to decide - not me.

I'm saying that most people have a different understanding of the meaning of the word "ego" to that of the psychologist. Most people tend to attribute a negative connotation to the word. That's what I was initially saying. I was then trying to get to a much more in depth meaning of the word - similar to that of a philosopher or a psychologist's understanding and usage of it.

And:

"What I think is maybe men standing together urinating might be a subject of future change."

I doubt it - toilet construction costs are the major consideration in the inclusion of urinals in place of multiple cubicles as seen in women's toilets - I suspect.

And:
"I think that is really strange why men would want to do this in the first place. Because they were taught this?"

Yes - since public toilets were first invented, I would think.

And:

"Just seems to me an invasion of men's privacy as well."

Men's privacy is given little or no consideration. When it is, it is usually to knock any 'sensitivity' in that area out of them. I still recall my military training wherein the need for privacy was deliberately and systematically 'knocked' out of me - whether I liked it or not. Neither shower nor toilet cubicles existed - just one big open room with bowls and fawcetts protruding from the walls.

And:

" ... Maybe that is why men are so concerned about the size of their penises."

I don't think so. I think that male virility, prowess and standing is often equated with penis size. On the Jerry Springer Show I saw a guest of dubious intelligence drop his pants for the audience - for shock value I suppose. One woman laughingly held up her hand with her finger and thumb apart by about 2 inches, in a derisive indication of his penis size. Women were all laughing at him. When it comes to penis size, what do you think men viewing that show would think about what women value?

And:

"I know women wouldn't be worried about their bodies so much if there wasn't so much porn or promiscious men comparing them to others....."

Well ... I'm not so sure about that. I suspect that some younger women partially base their self-esteem on their body image as they compare themselves to the models who strut the world stage selling swim wear and underwear etc. As they grow older some women learn to find value in themselves that is independent of their body image. Some men do this also.

And:

"Makes me wonder what your agenda is here?"

Well ... my agenda is pretty straight forward as most people here, who have read my postings since the site's inception, would probably know.

I consider myself a student of human nature. What better place to study a good crossection of that than this site? So my agenda is to learn as much as I can about the human condition. In doing that, I learn about myself. In others I see a mirror reflection of myself. As time goes by I'm slowly coming to the realization that I am, in fact, seeing myself.

You will rarely see me posting on the 'Support Page'. 'Supporting people' or 'being supported' is not my forte. If someone wants to share in my thoughts, then well and good - if not that's OK by me too.

My agenda in a nutshell:

He or she who sees all, knows all, understands all, forgives all, and loves all, will eventually become all that he or she has always been without knowing it - Tez.

November 16, 2003
12:01 am
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mj
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I am surprised that you watch Jerry Springer 🙂

November 16, 2003
9:34 am
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Tez, YOU may have been here since the inception of this place but to me you are like the Wizard of Oz.....

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