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Female Orgasm
October 24, 2003
8:06 pm
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arwen
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Lisset,

I am so very sorry if I have freaked you out in any way at all whatsoever and I mean that from the bottom of my heart to the top!!!

Arwen

October 24, 2003
8:10 pm
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arwen
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Artist2,

I could post the instructions, but then I'd have too much competition and I have it rough enough already. There is this little secret, though...

I told someone about it. They tried it out, and I got some positive feedback. Hey, that came out kinda funny...

Anyway, I have never had any complaints from anyone--male or female--at least not to my face. Hey, that came out kinda funny, too.

I totally swear I did not do that on purpose!

Love,

Arwen

October 24, 2003
10:10 pm
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Hoopla
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I'll chime in on this. I can experiece orgasm through penetration and oral stimulation focused on the clitoris.

When the oral is done gently--no jabbing and darting tongue--the pleasure is unbearable although quite. I fervently want it to last forever AND end immediately. I don't feel capable to experiencing such excessive pleasure.

I can also turn off sometimes (relating to what you said Artist2). If I'm angry or hurt or anything other than 'in the moment', then it's a lot of work to achieve orgasm. Sometimes I just give up and sometimes so much work will make him come and that ends it all.

For me, there also has to be some physical attraction. And a dash of romance and/or adventure is still a turn on. I can't just do anybody...even in a most desperate state. And, desperation doesn't happen here since I have no issue with masterbation.

That's all from me. I've got joke for you Unhappy Camper. I'll have to dig it up and post it tomorrow. You'll like it...

October 24, 2003
11:16 pm
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tracylyn
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Sooooo, I came to this thread because Guest said that by this thread he perceived women as not enjoying sex.

I don't see that...is this true?

I definitly believe that we have to be comfortable enough with our partner to tell them what we like, show them how it's done....help them to know exactly what does it for us, because each of us is different.

I've also read that you can train yourself to have orgasms from different methods. Your body gets used to certain kinds of stimulation and so you can basically train yourself to have orgasms. Dispite all the problems I had with my ex-bf....I believe the relationship lasted as long as it did because of the sexual connection we had. He was very, very patient..very tender, and very eager to please. We could also experiment and have fun without ever feeling weird or uncomfortable.

Hummmm.....digging thru my cell phone to find his number!!! =) j/k

Unhappy Camper...nothing wrong with what you are doing at all.....ENJOY baby!!!!!

October 25, 2003
2:33 am
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Anonymous
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Guest,

Women have less orgasms and orgasms are less important for a woman to enjoy sex. That's one not many men understand and they find it hard to accept, but it's the way things are. The reason women weigh much more whether to have sex or not is rooted in the risk of pregnancy (and consequent further emotional involvement implied for a woman in sexual relations) and not in the level of potential enjoyment.

October 25, 2003
12:06 pm
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justjane
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geez, i go away for a little while and come back to find everyone horny! what's gotten into (no pun intended) you guys! lol!

October 25, 2003
12:08 pm
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Anonymous
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justjane,

We just had a little Friday night party among us...no big deal...:-)

LOL

October 25, 2003
12:08 pm
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unhappy camper
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I think they put something in the water.....

Is it hot in here, or is it just me?

LOL

mafi would know ... spanish fly? LOL

October 25, 2003
12:53 pm
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lost_one
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i always make sure that my woman cum first. i am a giver what can i say?

i also enjoy the woman's epressions while she is having an orgasm. it is a real turn on for me.

October 25, 2003
3:14 pm
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lol.. friday night.

tracy, thanks for the input! its entered into my mental database for further reference. hmm. thanks mafi too, what you said adds more weight to whats heavy for me already (which means i agree with it so the scales top in that way), that women dont enjoy orgasm or they dont give a lot of importance to it.

tracy, your BF was the one who moved in your apartment, right. whats he doing now? cant you get back with him now?

October 25, 2003
6:12 pm
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arwen
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lost_one,

Will you marry me?

Arwen

October 26, 2003
1:18 am
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lost_one
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Our honeymoon will be on tropical island where there is a pure fresh air, sandy beaches and tranquility all around us. It would be nice to walk around the island holding hands with you under a moonlit night with gentle waves strike our feet............

October 26, 2003
1:20 am
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lost_one
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Our honeymoon will be on tropical island where there is a pure fresh air, sandy beaches and tranquility all around us. It would be nice to walk around the island holding hands with you under a moonlit night with gentle waves strike our feet............

October 26, 2003
1:22 am
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Anonymous
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Guest,

I never said they don't enjoy it.

October 26, 2003
1:35 am
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Anonymous
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Tell us more ! Tell us more ! What happens next on the sandy sands ? It'll be good for the story I'm writing !

October 26, 2003
1:41 am
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lost_one
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yes arwen

i would love to be with you and marry you.

October 26, 2003
3:35 am
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lost_one
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i like the woman who has long hair so while we are walking there i love to touch her hair gently. i keep looking into her eyes and i feel so fulfilled emotionally. i feel that i want to be closer and more intimate..........

October 26, 2003
3:52 am
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LittleBear
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I highly recommend the book "When The Earth Moves: Women and Orgasm" by Mikaya Heart.

Here is what the author says, followed by a "review" of the book from another reader.

"I interviewed 26 women for this book and received over one hundred in-depth questionnaires. But my expertise on the subject of sex arises from years of open unjudgmental dialogue between me and my friends. I write from my own personal experience -- and, since I have been a lesbian for twenty years, I have had plenty of experience with women's orgasms! I am very aware of the incredible diversity of women's sexual responses. I know firsthand that there is no such thing as normal: the array of our desires is endless, and there should be at least forty words to describe the nuances of that undefined and often elusive event which we now label "orgasm." But more than this, I am someone who has been through a long and diffcult process around my sexuality. I was sexually abused as a child and I had a very hard time being sexual in my teens and twenties. As a result of the work I did on myself I now enjoy sex enormously, and feel empowered enough to know what it is I want and to be able to say yes to that! But I also know what it takes to get from there to here. I have a very deep comprehension of the problems that women face in claiming their sexuality. There are many different factors that affect the way women respond sexually. This book looks at sex not just from the physical but also from the emotional, the psychological and the spiritual points of view. Sex is not just what we do in bed -- it is about how we are in the world."

Review by a reader:

I am amazed at what this book has done for me. Due to this book, I am learning to communicate my needs and desires, and my husband and I are having the best sex ever! I realized that it is not only ok, but good for me to be sexually satisfied. There are so many aspects of the book that have helped me. Mikaya Heart writes from a very personal level, which really showed me she understands what women like me struggle with every day. She examines so many angles of orgasm, from emotional, to technical, to spiritual. She also includes the words and experiences of many women with different experiences. I could finally see that there are other women out there like me. It was so empowering! I feel supported and encouraged to finally make changes in my sexual satisfaction. This book has been a life saver for both my husband and myself. I am finally learning how to have the orgasms I've only dreamed about! Every woman should read it!!!

October 26, 2003
11:08 am
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unhappy camper
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That sounds good. I am afraid that my inability to vaginally orgasm is due to lack of opportunity!!!

My first husband was not into sex.

My second husband had me pregnant twice during our short marriage.

Then I was alone for 17 years.

My third husband was abusive and drunk.

Who was I supposed to try it with? LOL

Sheesh....

Lots of wasted time. I hope to make up for it. Maybe my husband will get better. Small probability.

October 26, 2003
1:08 pm
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ok mafi

October 27, 2003
8:28 am
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bridgh
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Big discussion this weekend with b/f about this subject....I won't get into the messy details (he he) but he and I disagree on a point and I would like to ask the other ladies (or gentlemen) their opinions. Is it true that most women would rather have oral sex over intercourse? If you read the beginning of this thread you know that I have oral issues...lol. I just don't agree with him I think he is totally off on this one and he is not a woman so I feel like how the hell should he know????? Anyone?

Thanks! -B.

October 27, 2003
10:27 am
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artist 2
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Arwen, what's the secret? Come on... tell.

Uh, secondly Lost-One, watching a woman, being so into her during love-making is such a turn on. I think it's more about being present, just being there. Thanks for sharing that. It was sexy.

October 27, 2003
1:06 pm
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unhappy camper
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That is how I am with men. I love to watch their faces and see the lust and excitement and the final savage expressions. Mmmmmmm... very macho. Very very sexual.

October 27, 2003
3:00 pm
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arwen
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Hello to all!

First: I will publish the oral sex secret if there are enough donations made within the next two weeks to carry the SC through into 2004.

Second: lost_one, thanks for accepting the marriage proposal, and for the romantic honeymoon. I'll write more about it, since Mafi asked, but some things should be just between us...

Third: The oral vs. intercourse debate depends on who I'm with. To me, oral sex is the most intimate thing I can allow to be done to be because I am extremely self conscious. If I know the person well enough to relax, then it's great, but in all my relationships I have to say there has only been one where I could relax to that point. Also, I love to make out during sex, so the "intercourse" thing is more optimal for that, but there are ways to accomplish this during sex with a woman, too.

I think it's great that people are comfortable talking about sexuality here and are willing to be vulnerable in their honesty about it. I thought I was all alone in some of my issues...

Arwen

October 27, 2003
3:14 pm
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bridgh
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The whole "comfortability" factor I think is key for me as well. I am also very self-conscious anyway especially when it comes to oral. I wouldn't even let my last b/f go down there. I had a lot of morality issues back then though...I was young and tended to see things very black and white..good and bad. I was good, that was bad. I am obviously more open minded now and enjoy sex in general more than I ever thought I would. My b/f says I just need to relax but I really don't know how to....(major prob. for me in all apsects anyway...lol). Also again feeling that pressure about the whole thing. I mean once it is an issue I just can't stop thinking about it. ARGH!!!

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