Artist2,

I could post the instructions, but then I'd have too much competition and I have it rough enough already. There is this little secret, though...

I told someone about it. They tried it out, and I got some positive feedback. Hey, that came out kinda funny...

Anyway, I have never had any complaints from anyone--male or female--at least not to my face. Hey, that came out kinda funny, too.

I totally swear I did not do that on purpose!

Love,

Arwen

Sooooo, I came to this thread because Guest said that by this thread he perceived women as not enjoying sex.

I don't see that...is this true?

I definitly believe that we have to be comfortable enough with our partner to tell them what we like, show them how it's done....help them to know exactly what does it for us, because each of us is different.

I've also read that you can train yourself to have orgasms from different methods. Your body gets used to certain kinds of stimulation and so you can basically train yourself to have orgasms. Dispite all the problems I had with my ex-bf....I believe the relationship lasted as long as it did because of the sexual connection we had. He was very, very patient..very tender, and very eager to please. We could also experiment and have fun without ever feeling weird or uncomfortable.

Hummmm.....digging thru my cell phone to find his number!!! =) j/k

Unhappy Camper...nothing wrong with what you are doing at all.....ENJOY baby!!!!!

geez, i go away for a little while and come back to find everyone horny! what's gotten into (no pun intended) you guys! lol!

Our honeymoon will be on tropical island where there is a pure fresh air, sandy beaches and tranquility all around us. It would be nice to walk around the island holding hands with you under a moonlit night with gentle waves strike our feet............

Guest,

I never said they don't enjoy it.

yes arwen

i would love to be with you and marry you.

I highly recommend the book "When The Earth Moves: Women and Orgasm" by Mikaya Heart.

Here is what the author says, followed by a "review" of the book from another reader.

"I interviewed 26 women for this book and received over one hundred in-depth questionnaires. But my expertise on the subject of sex arises from years of open unjudgmental dialogue between me and my friends. I write from my own personal experience -- and, since I have been a lesbian for twenty years, I have had plenty of experience with women's orgasms! I am very aware of the incredible diversity of women's sexual responses. I know firsthand that there is no such thing as normal: the array of our desires is endless, and there should be at least forty words to describe the nuances of that undefined and often elusive event which we now label "orgasm." But more than this, I am someone who has been through a long and diffcult process around my sexuality. I was sexually abused as a child and I had a very hard time being sexual in my teens and twenties. As a result of the work I did on myself I now enjoy sex enormously, and feel empowered enough to know what it is I want and to be able to say yes to that! But I also know what it takes to get from there to here. I have a very deep comprehension of the problems that women face in claiming their sexuality. There are many different factors that affect the way women respond sexually. This book looks at sex not just from the physical but also from the emotional, the psychological and the spiritual points of view. Sex is not just what we do in bed -- it is about how we are in the world."

Review by a reader:

I am amazed at what this book has done for me. Due to this book, I am learning to communicate my needs and desires, and my husband and I are having the best sex ever! I realized that it is not only ok, but good for me to be sexually satisfied. There are so many aspects of the book that have helped me. Mikaya Heart writes from a very personal level, which really showed me she understands what women like me struggle with every day. She examines so many angles of orgasm, from emotional, to technical, to spiritual. She also includes the words and experiences of many women with different experiences. I could finally see that there are other women out there like me. It was so empowering! I feel supported and encouraged to finally make changes in my sexual satisfaction. This book has been a life saver for both my husband and myself. I am finally learning how to have the orgasms I've only dreamed about! Every woman should read it!!!

Arwen, what's the secret? Come on... tell.

Uh, secondly Lost-One, watching a woman, being so into her during love-making is such a turn on. I think it's more about being present, just being there. Thanks for sharing that. It was sexy.

Hello to all!

First: I will publish the oral sex secret if there are enough donations made within the next two weeks to carry the SC through into 2004.

Second: lost_one, thanks for accepting the marriage proposal, and for the romantic honeymoon. I'll write more about it, since Mafi asked, but some things should be just between us...

Third: The oral vs. intercourse debate depends on who I'm with. To me, oral sex is the most intimate thing I can allow to be done to be because I am extremely self conscious. If I know the person well enough to relax, then it's great, but in all my relationships I have to say there has only been one where I could relax to that point. Also, I love to make out during sex, so the "intercourse" thing is more optimal for that, but there are ways to accomplish this during sex with a woman, too.

I think it's great that people are comfortable talking about sexuality here and are willing to be vulnerable in their honesty about it. I thought I was all alone in some of my issues...

Arwen