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Female Orgasm
October 24, 2003
2:16 pm
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unhappy camper
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How many can have orgasm through intercourse? It's a problem for me but being alone all that time left me concentrating on the "button" and not the internal workings.

But even when younger, I could not do this.

Is there a secret to it? Men swear ladies do and I wonder if they ladies were faking.

LOL

Not being satisfied is a problem in a relationship. The guys get off regularly. We do anything to accomplish that for them.

October 24, 2003
2:27 pm
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arwen
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Unhappy Camper,

Thank you so much for starting this thread. Female sexuality is such a complex thing, don't you agree? And truthfully much different from male sexuality...

Okay, in my typical style, I'll just toss it all out there...

I can have outstanding orgasms from penetration, but the penetrator has to know what they are doing, and they usually don't because it's not something people talk about for women. Just like years ago no one ever talked about the clitoris!

It's all in the stroke, at just the right angle kind of toward the back of the vaginal canal, because at this angle--for me, anyway--ALL the buttons get pushed! And that's the best kind of orgasm for me.

The biggest problem I have with orgasms is what goes on in my head when I'm with someone. I have such a shitty body image that I feel paraniod most of the time. And I don't know why I can spend all kinds of time making sure that sex is good for my partner, but then when it's my "turn", I feel pressured to hurry, which stresses me out, which makes it hard to relax, which makes it hard to orgasm, which makes me feel pressured to hurry... Know what I mean?

Arwen

October 24, 2003
2:32 pm
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eve
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Onely rarely can I have orgasm by penetration - but its not impossible (which I believed for a long time).

October 24, 2003
2:35 pm
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artist 2
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I'm out there too:

Body image is important, but more so for me is the relationship I have with the man. If I'm pissed, it's not good because I feel closed off emotionally. Plus, when I feel angry, I withhold giving myself. When I was younger I could have casual sex for the sake of sex and fun, but no more.

As far as orgasms, it is far more powerful and likely if there is pressure on the area below the vaginal opening. Sort of like the penis is tilted, aiming at the roof of the vagina.

Oral sex, with focus on the clitoris, has never done anything much for me either. There has to be pressure and penetration.

October 24, 2003
2:46 pm
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bridgh
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I have to get in on this one too (pardon the terrible humor).
I think it can depend on a number of things. I myself can only have an orgasm through penetration if I am "on top"...lol. Control issue perhaps? Or I think it is the whole angle issue. Also oral sex feels good but I have never had an orgasm this way. This completely frustrates my boyfriend right now. He thinks I am "too uptight" and I need to relax... I think I AM relaxed but I also feel that pressure now to have an "O" to stroke (again terrible humor) his ego. (he prides himself on his talent in this area and swears I am the only one that has not had "one" in minutes LMFAO). At any rate I think it also depends on your partner. With my last partner I barely ever could have an orgasm and was always feeling pressured to have one. With this partner I have had the joy of experiencing multiples!!! Woohoo! I deserve it after the last experience I had...lol. My partner now also happens to be very eager to please and is not a selfish lover so I think that also has an effect.

Only my thoughts here folks I am not exactly the most experienced gal in the world but this has been my experience.

Love, Bridgh

October 24, 2003
2:47 pm
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unhappy camper
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October 24, 2003
2:55 pm
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arwen
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Bridgh,

Thank goodness I'm alone right now! I can't stop laughing and everyone already knows I'm nuts!!!

Thanks!!! I'm laughing so hard my face hurts, I must have needed it!!!

Love,

Arwen

October 24, 2003
3:06 pm
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eve
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Thanks for the

"I also feel that pressure now to have an "O" to stroke (again terrible humor) his ego."

good to know that others know that feeling, too 🙂

October 24, 2003
3:15 pm
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thats what i was thinking about recently. it seems that women are'nt interested in sexual intercourse because it doesnt please them and they dont seem to want it that much. we men feel a lot more pleasure in intercourse, we have orgasm every single time. if women really loved sexual intercourse they would be more running to get it.
the bad side to a man's orgasm is that after its done, we dont want to do more and we want to think about something else, but we *can* get 'charged' up soon.

camper, adding to what artist says, you could ask your lover to penetrate you and feel you with his tool in all angles and directions slowly and you can tell him which position you like best. or you can buy a vibrator and pleasure yourself while he's doing you and you and him dont need to feel guilty about it, since its all about pleasure.

October 24, 2003
3:19 pm
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Anonymous
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I came into this thread just to see guest's reply. I KNEW he'd have been here ! LOL

BTW, excellent post, guest. Wouldn't have thought, a young and almost virginal child like you, writing such a PERFECT post. Thanks !!! (no kidding this time).

In reply to the topic of this thread: I couldn't say. Last time I was with a man was before the invention of the clit...LOL

October 24, 2003
3:24 pm
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bridgh,

That was an amazing post ! Not only very instructive (to me at least) but I was laughing so hard I had to close the window !!!!

ROFLMAO

October 24, 2003
3:30 pm
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Awesome replies.

Camper,

That was really brave of you to bring up such an unusual subject in here, so matter of factly, so naturally...thanks !!

I had always thought that orgasm via penetration was very rare, that very few women could have them. After this thread, what I think is I probably missed out on the fun. I'll keep the notes for an eventuality (though I don't think a lonely rider like me will ever get a chance again).

October 24, 2003
4:12 pm
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gypsygirl
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Ok, I can add some input here. I used to be quite the slut a couple years ago. I have to say I am one of those multiple orgasm gals. I can have one both ways. When I was younger (ok, always) I prefer the oral stimulation, But some of my most intense times were with penetration(Ihate that word)For me it was always a mental thing. Sex was never about love for me it was about power, how I could make the guy fall all over himself for me.

But ever since I was pregnant and had my daughter I don't want sex at all. I would hate to think that I wad my prime in my twenties.

October 24, 2003
4:31 pm
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unhappy camper
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I've mentioned that I am arranging to get together with a man who is 35 yrs old and I am 53. He is built like a brick shithouse with eggcarton abs. He has herpes too and needs some action. We both know it's just for fun.

I have slimmed down but still I'm soft and need to be firmed up. So I am going to ask him to recommend exercises for me.

I also have challenged him to help me achieve a vaginal orgasm. At least we should have fun trying.

Sometimes I feel foolish and scared about meeting him, and sometime I'm ready to grab him.

But I will do the "angle experimentation" thing and see how it goes. I have come close (teehee).

As long as he doesn't expect a young beauty, I'm ok. I can hold my own. I told him that.

Anyone who is not having sex must not be hungry enough for it. There are all sorts of willing partners around. You must be sure of your safety and have safe sex and watch out for emotional involvement. Some can have casual encounters with respect for each other, others won't.

I am not advocating anything for anyone. But...jeez. I'm am long overdue......arghhhhhhhh!!!

We may keep a chart and use a compass to measure the angles and see which is best. We can have a clipboard and pencil while we try and keep accurate measurement and notes. Or a chalkboard with charts and graphs and illustrations.

We can develop a "pleasure-o-meter" where the needle moves to the higher reading when the angle is good. LOL

Lab coat, black stockings and garter belt and Madonna cone shaped bra for me, and lab coat and a thong for him.
I'll have to put on my reading glasses though. LOL

Nerd.

October 24, 2003
4:48 pm
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arwen
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I am strongly of the opinion that any woman who has not experienced orgasm as the result of oral sex has been the victim of unskilled and/or ignorant technique...

And I wish I could post my phone number...

Arwen

October 24, 2003
4:50 pm
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unhappy camper
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I can agree with you. The only reason I won't climax like that is if I feel uptight with a guy. Otherwise it's heaven.

Oh...and....I must be just out of the shower.

October 24, 2003
5:02 pm
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bridgh
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Arwen
Your killing me!

Bridgh

October 24, 2003
5:07 pm
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unhappy camper
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orgasm
noun
The peak of sexual excitement, characterized by strong feelings of pleasure and by a series of involuntary contractions of the muscles of the genitals, usually accompanied by the ejaculation of semen by the male. Also called climax.

October 24, 2003
5:08 pm
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Anonymous
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lisset,

I used to ask the same question. Glad you asked. You know you had an orgasm when you feel it without a doubt. It's that simple. When you have one, you know. Because it's a very intense body reaction, involuntary physical discharge, that does not feel like anything else. You get involuntary spasms (pleasant, though!) that are not in any twilight zone but very real. An orgasm has a clear start and a clear end. It's not general pleasure. I, personally, don't like so much how it feels in itself but it's the alleviated feeling afterwards that is so good.

I guess others will be able to explain it better...

October 24, 2003
5:10 pm
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lisset,

Whoever told you to go have sex and you'll know...sorry, but is not a bright person, to put it mildly. A woman can spend a life having sex and not having an orgasm. Most in past generations, in fact.

October 24, 2003
5:24 pm
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arwen
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Lisset,

When you feel so much pleasure that you think you are either going to die or kill someone, then stop caring and just let it flow, then get a sudden urge to sleep, eat chocolate, smoke a cigarette, or all of the above--that's how you will know...

On the serious side...

Lisset, there is absolutely no shame in exploring your body and discovering what you like and don't like. If you are a survivor of sexual abuse, then I think it's very important to be aware of your emotions while you experiment and stop if what you are doing feels emotionally similar to punishment, shaming, or anger. Also, you'll want to be sure that you have plenty of privacy.

I don't think anyone should be made to feel ashamed of wanting to explore their body. It's YOUR body, after all.

My god I'm sitting here wondering how old you are, and feeling some concern that this might not be the right time for you to be hammered with all this information. If this thread doesn't feel safe for you anymore, please tell us!

Sincerely,

Arwen

October 24, 2003
5:27 pm
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artist 2
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I do wish there was an instruction manual for oral sex on women... sigh.

October 24, 2003
5:35 pm
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It feels like being lightly electrocuted... a shimmer and a shiver... then it's over.

Man.. that sounds sort of SM!

October 24, 2003
5:55 pm
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artist,

That was a wonderful way to explain it. AND it also cracked me up...SM

ROFLMAO

October 24, 2003
6:39 pm
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oral sex.. multiple orgasms..penetrations. lol.
Hello folks.. this is a friendly remind that this site is called "All about Counseling"
kidding, kidding!

lisset said:
>> mafi, my teacher says there's about 30% of women who cant orgasm... we all think is a big chunk. < < if 30% women cant have orgasms, there must be about 50% percent who have orgasm but with little feeling. that means only 20% women can have really good orgasms.. compared that for men who can all orgasm well without any problem. i really do see more reasons why the majority of women are not interested in casual sex.. or even just sex. i mean if they can't orgasm significantly or at all, why would they be interested in intercourse? makes sense. i do remmeber a few porno movies, one in which the women had a shuddering orgasm and shakes out her leg quite vigorously.. that was great to watch, i cant forget that. can we see real statistics in which we can see how many women fake orgasms during sex? and i hate anything fake ofcourse, like we all probably do.. it turns one off. i remember the figure was 73% or something.

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