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Drug addiction
September 6, 2004
11:15 am
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Cici
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Since I've had substance abuse problems for some time, I've made an academic study of the issue since I first started. I never used any drugs that I didn't research prior to using it. Strange, just a part of my obsessive compulsive nature.

Anyways, from what I've read, human beings have used mind-altering substances since we first walked upright. I remember seeing a documentary about an oasis in part of Africa where the animals, elephants, monkeys, all sorts really - would come and gourge themselves on the overripe fruit that had fallen to the ground and fermented. Then they would stumble around drunk for a while and pass out.

Even ancient Hindu gods are sometimes pictured smoking marijuana from a water pipe, I think Vishnu used it to put himself in deep meditative trances, according to the mythology.

So, I feel that the cultural attitude with which we approach drug use contributes to the abuse problems that are escalating each year. I hear people saying, "Oh I am appalled by the number of people who are using" - but few even understand the mechanisms of action and addiction of the drugs in question. In fact, a study published recently I believe done at Columbia University showed that the anti-drug ads that the federal government spent millions on last year had a rebound effect and that college students had a more favorable view of drug use after viewing the anti-drug ads.

I'm frustrated with the attitudes of people who have never had drug problems, sometimes. Lots of times people see me and assume I haven't ever had a drug problem because I don't look like it. I look like a perky little cheerleader with exotic features. I look healthy. So I get to hear some bizarre opinions. Like once you use drugs you are a loss to society. well, many times I've felt that way. And those are the voices I hear when I am suicidal. I think, I will never be better - I will never be a good, contributing member of society - what good am I to anyone, I am just an addict. I have no place in the social structure and I am nothing but a drain on my fellow man. I should just kill myself and be over it.

Then again, at least I have the forethought to only get involved with other people who use my drug of choice.

But all that aside, I have stopped using everything but pot. And yet I see pot compared with methamphetamines and cocaine. Which, having done both, I can assure you - a cokehead will NOT be satisfied with smoking a joint. Potheads don't really destroy other people's lives. We just sit and do nothing with our lives. We paralyze ourselves. Potheads don't lie, cheat, or go crazy and rob people to get weed. We just bitch about how "dry" it is and put up with not having pot for a few days until someone finds some.

I read on another thread this guy referred to Somas, muscle relaxers, as narcotics. And it just irritates me. I've seen lives destroyed by crack and heroine, so forgive me if I think being a pothead is a blessing. A lot of people I know moved from heavy drugs to just being addicted to pot, and you know what - they have jobs and pay taxes and live normal lives without any major problems. I know OLD potheads, just because my town is full of them, and they seem fine. Married 20+ years, healthy kids who are doing good in school and may or may not be smoking as well.

I dunno. Everyone I know in my life is addicted to something. Alcohol, cigarettes, TV, the computer, work, sex, relationships, knitting, church, food....the list goes on and on. Is there any such thing as a human being free of the need to numb/distract themselves from the terrors and horrors of this modern world?

I had just planned on transferring my addiction to something healthier, life exercise or something.

September 6, 2004
5:37 pm
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Molly
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Cici, I believe to be human is to be subject to addiction. Food, sex, drugs, its all about balance , just my humble opinion. Some things tweak us more than others. I too, do not know many who are not addicted in one way or another. I always use the anology of parking in the same place, sitting in the same seat, buying the same style, eating the same thing. Speaking to my addicts reminding them of my great diet once upon a time, wanted to jump out of my chair smelling the fat of the food reheated in the microwave across from my office. We all have our own triggers, our own self medicating needs, it's just when we get out of balance that is a problem. Sure your not as bad as the crack heads, can't stand them they are mean, and heroin, they are desperate and really sick, do what they do to support their habit. Alcoholics whinners, can't work with them. Pot heads, your right, they bitch about quality, and sooner or later find a pill to make them cope till some quality smoke comes in. But are you funcitoning ? Do you have a quality of life? Do you celebrate you? Its one thing to be a user, and another to be an addict. No doubt the chemistry changes at some point. If you can function, and be happy, and accept what you do no matter your drug of choice, then I don't judge you. When you are talking suicide, etc.
That is when I say look at this picture, what you do what you can do.
Smoke your joint girl friend, but get off your ass once and a while.

September 11, 2004
8:05 pm
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Cici
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Love ya, Molls. Don't ever start to pull any punches. 😉

September 12, 2004
10:30 pm
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Molly
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Yea, ok, and so ???????????? xxoo

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