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Diary of guest_guest
May 18, 2006
4:02 pm
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Anonymous
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guest-her old friend turns out to have a serious drug and alchohol problem. wont happen........

u might not get it now, but u will......be good

May 18, 2006
4:10 pm
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i dont get it, who has the problem? This girl's best friend is a guy, he is her ex

May 18, 2006
6:27 pm
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hey guest.

I am glad you put your needs first. I think you have come a long way.

The hardest part is sticking to your guns. I know I am not perfect...and continued contact with my ex up until yesterday. And before I left, I was very honest with him - I was not looking to get back with him - I was not looking to kiss and make up - I was not manipulating....I put the truth on the table - for what it was worth. I told him the reality of our situation and that I could not, or would not, continue a friendship with someone who treated me so badly as a relationship. I told him that he has nothing to offer and I can't offer him anything. I was honest. I can now see the reality clearly.

Once you step away from this, have some quiet time to yourself, and have no contact with her, you may see the reality - and once you do, you will accept it a whole lot easier, as well as know your decision was right.

Also - keep in mind that once you take your "sights" off of her....you may see someone else equally as beautiful that you didn't notice before because you were too busy focused on her. She may be f***ing gorgeous, but I will GUARANTEE you that there are many pretty ladies out there that would kill for a guy like you....you just have to believe it....nobody will believe in you until you believe in yourself.

Also, you may want to give some consideration to the idea that beauty comes from within - and that a pretty "outer" package does NOT guarantee a good relationship - perhaps good sex, but if she's that pretty, you may have to fight off other guys for her attention.....there are alot of "ordinary" girls out there that have ALOT to offer - you just have to be open to the idea - and spend time getting to know people before figuring out how "attractive" they really are.

May 18, 2006
6:30 pm
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and I say this because if every guy and girl looked for the most gorgeous person to be their partner, there would be ALOT of lonely people out there.

The idea that everyone has to be gorgeous is what creates negative self images in your girls and guys....is why some are so self concious they have poor self esteems - cuz most girls/guys are NOT model/GQ material.

There are many pretty AND intelligent women out there...but there are also alot of "trophy" wives/GF's who are horrible to live with and only good to look at....consider that.

looks also deteriorate in time - so if there is no personality to hold the relationship together, then the relationship will die when the looks die.

May 18, 2006
10:25 pm
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I know, I feel the no contact will clear things up. I have to stick it through. Wonder if I should ignore her phone calls too? Guess i should. Its going to be very hard to see her number on my cell, and wondering if to pick it up or not. If I dont, I might regret later. If I do, I'll feel horrible too. Anyway... I guess i will not pick up. I hope not. She can leave a mesg and I wont return her call unless its office related (we work in the same place).

I think she falls under "trophy". I have seen horrible episodes of her and her BF. She was drunk, called an office mate of his who she (rightly) suspects that he's cheating with on her and told her nasty things.

That was the same night i wanted to kiss her and we did.

Many many other things...

Two/three times she's told me "I think I drank too much whiskey"

Wonder if she has a DRINKING problem too? I dont know.

etc etc

Anywa.. its hard right now. I'm doubting what I told her, doubting my own decision, not feeling solid. Should be OK though. Once I really am "concious" to whatever has happens, my mood improves and I feel I did the right thing. I lose "mindfulness" every now and then.

I have to look ahead and at other girls. Very important to focus on my career first so I can get where i want to go. Would be super for my self-esteem, i know.

May 18, 2006
10:31 pm
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We had kissed before, that was just another time. So wonder, how she lives in the same apt, knowing that she has cheated on her BF.

Anyway.. I hope i dont spend much time thinking about. I deleted from my online "friendster" website accounts and stuff. Dont want this girl in my life anymore and I HOPE i can move on.

I also told her in my email that the biggest question in mind every since I met her and which has bugging me ever since is "whether she would be faithful to me, if we were in a relationship" - i told her that, finally. Guess should have earlier. Communication and self-assertiveness, yea.. but what about faithfulness and honesty too - which she lacks I believe.

May 19, 2006
8:50 am
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justlooking
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Hey Guest_guest

I think you have done the right thing, well done. At least now she knows how you feel, I'm sure you will be tempted to talk her. Be strong guest_guest. 'As one door closes another opens' it may help if you go into another relationship free of questions about this girl because you may be comparing others to her, don't let that happen give someone else a chance with a fresh mind.

May 19, 2006
9:22 am
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justlooking-welcome to aac. i hope u find what u are looking for here. there are many wonderful people to learn from. to share ideas with.

gup

May 19, 2006
10:26 am
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Thanks JL, i couldn resist sending her a "miss you" email just now. I wanted her to know how I thought she was special to me. She should know that she was special to me. I told her maybe one day she'll realize that. I told her I was very sad how this had to happen like this. I think it was good that I expressed my feelings to her and that sometimes I miss her. She should know. Now she can do what she wants, but atleast she knows how I feel about everything.

I told her I'm very sad but I'll be OK with time.

May 19, 2006
10:54 am
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I could realllly copy paste the emails I sent to her, but maybe not.. so i'll keep them in my inbox. I wish i could post so you guys could read though.

May 19, 2006
7:15 pm
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justlooking
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Guppy

Thanks for making me feel welcome I work as a reflexologist and healer, at the moment I'm having a little trouble healing myself. I like the idea of learning and sharing ideas.

Guest_guest

I would like to read those emails but you know what they say'curiosity killed the cat', can anybody tell why it's cat and not dog, dogs are curious too.

May 19, 2006
10:45 pm
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I might post them later, not sure.
here's what i got from the net for you:
-----------
Curiosity killed the cat - Be cautious when investigating situations.

The saying originally was "care kills a cat," and began in the 16th century. "Care" was a warning that worry is bad for your health and can lead to an early grave; the phrase was a recognition that cats seem to be very cautious and careful. Over time, the word "care" evolved into "curiosity."

---------------------

right now -she called in the evening, and wanted to see me. She wanted to see me and told me not to send her any emails like that.

I told her that I'm attracted to her (and she replied she is too) but i dont want to see her because, its just torture keeping a food you like infront of you, which you cant have. Whats the use. So we said, ok, we'll just say hello hi in emails, I said yea, ok.. (whatever).

Saw on her fridge a note of a month ago, saying she loved his BF. But then when I asked her if her BF said he'd marry her(she told me he said he would not), would she marry him? She said she doubted it.

So I'm like, how can you love soemone, but not want to be with them? She said she doesnt know what she wants in life. She said she's depressed 70% of the time and she bugs her BF and she'd bug me in the same way probably.

I told her I wouldnt like to be bugged. I'd like a happy peaceful life. Etc. etc... lot of talking.

I just then wish we could have sex then. Maybe i'll ask her if she comes over. Atleast I could get some action, haa. Now that its not gonna work out anyway, so might as well see if I can get some action. heh.

Or... maybe not then. I want to focus on these other girls from the dating sites. And I could also um, join some local groups to meet girls, I dont know.

oh well..... feeling a little relaxed. Dont want this girl, want to keep her out of my sight- and I told her this. I told her its tough on my heart, I dont want it like this. I told her what was on my mind.

ha! I asked her "would you be true to me if we were together?". She didnt answer, said she doesnt even want to think about relationships. SO, wonder how she's already in a relationship then? She says she's stuck in life.

A big mess I think. A big sexy mess actually becuase she's still so sexy. And then what- she said she cant give me answers to these questions because she doesnt know the answers herself.

Anyway.. sad. I wish it could have worked out.

May 19, 2006
10:47 pm
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typo: "saying she loved HER BF"

May 20, 2006
12:16 am
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Anonymous
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guest-will u post that link again u did that time with that totally hilarious man on there entertaining himself. i want to see it again and i can't find it now.

May 20, 2006
12:30 am
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sewunique
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Say, Guest,

Was that you? Cute link.

May 20, 2006
12:53 am
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is it this one:, its not me in the video: link

May 20, 2006
1:01 am
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Anonymous
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nope, it's not u unless u hietailed it to norway recently.....:)

May 20, 2006
1:02 am
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guest-u dont ever sleep do u. on here all day and all night looks like.

May 20, 2006
1:16 am
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i woke up, thunder

May 20, 2006
1:27 am
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Anonymous
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it's thundering where u are?
hey i had a just wonderful evening. my son took my car to take a kid home and hit a bloomin goat. took out my headlights, my fog lights, blinkers, and the scoop thing up under the front end. the emblem on the hood is sticking up kinda wacky now. it say baaaah!!!!!! i had to drive it home going turtle crawl.....

yea, before u ask, the goat is DEAD!!!

May 20, 2006
1:33 am
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u must be in the ohio area then. that is the only place the weather radar shows thunder storms at the moment......

May 20, 2006
1:36 am
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just be glad u dont have goats!!! aaaauuuugggghhhh. my poor car....

May 20, 2006
2:52 am
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guest-hope lightning didn't get ya

May 20, 2006
2:55 am
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think i am going to be sick.......over my car........

May 20, 2006
2:57 am
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the early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese!!

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