Hi 4me and welcome to the site.

When I first read the title of your thread, I thought "now there's an oxymoron".

All kidding aside, I think perhaps your friend should talk to someone that is not biased one way or the other. Meaning that because you are gay, your opinion may sway her in that direction. And her pastor, may very well sway her in the other direction...which combined could leave her even more confused then before.

Maybe a therapist would be able to help her work through her conflicting feelings and help her to make a decision that is right for her.

I hope this helped.

Lolli

"When I first read the title of your thread, I thought 'now there's an oxymoron'."

ROFLMAO @ Lolli!!!

I agree with Lolli...When MammaC said you would sway her, let her talk to the pastor, I thought, "Well what do you think the Pastor is gonna do!!!!" Believe me, I know from experience, talking to a priest/pastor when you are already feeling extreemly ashamed and like a sinner for being who you are is not always a good idea. They tend to just reinforce the shame and self-hatred. At least mine did!

As a young uneducated indoctrinated Catholic girl, coming to grips with my sexuality and "The Lord/The Word", has been a very slow, very personal, and very painfull process!

Since then, I have come across many an other such as myself, lost children, cast out form the love of "Our Father".

I do only what I know how. I share my experience, my stregnth and my hope. I share my journey, where I have been, what it felt like for me, where I am now.

I offer understanding. I offer comfort. And still I try very hard not to let my judgements and bias out, so as not to try and "convert" someone.

Coming to grips with our sexuality and our spirituality is HARD!!! It hurts, IT HURTS!!!!!

For a very LONGGGG time, I felt as if I was damned. I felt so very alone, so lost. I felt as if God had abandoned me. I felt as if I was unworthy.

Still, at times, in certain situations, regarding certain things, I still feel alone, lost.

But I hold fast to the belief that above all, God is Love, and a genuine, heartfelt expression of that love, such as what I have with my partner, can never be wrong.

Gay and lesbian people can act immorally, the same as straights. We can sleep around, we can missuse sex, we can hurt ourselves and others sexually...but no more than any other straight person. But I truly believe that actually BEING gay is not wrong, or immoral.

But your friend has to come to what ever decision she makes, what ever her truth is, all on her own...because what is true for me or you may not be what is true for her.

All I can say is listen. Share your truth, offer it up to her, not as advice or in an attempt to change her, but simply to tell her, "This is my truth, this is my struggle....You are not alone."

Good luck, I wish things were different and we were not forced to feel the way that we are made to feel simply because of who we are...But I am learning, this particular struggle has been and still is an ESSENTIAL part of my journey. Everything happens for a reason, and the harder the hurt, the larger the lesson. And the greater the growth...

With heartfelt comapassion,

Free2Choose

Erica

May I suggest that your friend read the recorded words of Jesus? This can easily be done by using a Bible that has His words in red. (I use an older translation).

If she comes upon a passage that concerns her, tell her to pray for wisdom.

Something else to think about....has your friend given much thought to all those hundreds and hundreds of sins before pondering over homosexuality?

Homosexuality has been personified. One needs to look at the "whole picture" and commune with God.

Hope this will make a difference.

You know what the good news is though? She's a mother that loves her children. She is to be commended for that fact. She is a Christian. The Lord will never stop loving her - regardless.

Regretfully, many organized religions/churches do not reach out with love as Christ taught. That is the saddest aspect of this situation.

And you? Remember these simple words: When dealing with other people, you didn't cause it, you can't control and you can't cure it.

take care.

4me
I agree with you that you should go to a church that accepts everyone. It makes me very upset when anyone judges someone because they are gay or whatever. The church should always accept everyone with open arms. My dad is a lutheran pastor (retired) and I'm not sure where he stands on the subject but I personally believe that if a church will not accept someone, not matter what it is, that church is more in the wrong than the person that is trying to stay in the church. Tell your friend to get out of that church and accept the way that she feels. God does love everyone and there is no pastor or priest that should make anyone feel guilty because they have gay feelings. She won't be happy till she gets it out in the open. If she has to stay with her husband for financial reasons or the kids that makes it more complicated but as for her suppressing her feelings it will only get worse if she doesn't accept how she really feels. I hope she can at least find a church that will accept her and not ever have anyone make her feel guilty. And by the way, God is not going to send her to hell for being gay. God loves e v e r y o n e.

Nice Guy.

Hey...

Yeah I heard abou the MCC...I think the closest is in Baton Rouge.. not sure though. There was one in Dallas.

Never heard of the Unity Church...time to do a little research.

Thanks for getting back to me!!!

((((HUGS))))

Free