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changing a dysfunctional family
March 25, 2006
4:57 pm
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jastypes
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September 30, 2010
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Can it be done? We had a great family session this week -- by great, I mean intense and deep. A family is a system. Ours was sick from day 1. I married my husband not knowing he was using his drugs. His drug use made it impossible for him to fill my needs. I filled his for a time, but then got tired and was unable to fill his needs without building resentment. We had children. Children need their needs met by both parents. Mark was unable to fill their needs, so they're like half-filled. Now the dysfunction is playing itself out for my children by coming out in anger, depression and self-destructive behaviors. If they go on, half-filled and unbalanced, and they marry someone else who is unbalanced, it starts all over again. Now, I've been seriously considering divorce. But how does that fix the system? Is this just an impossible task unless my husband takes responsibility for himself and starts meeting the needs of his family? How do children repair the damage their parents caused? Can they repair it? I mean, my family of origin was dysfunctional, and here I am at the age of 46 trying to get healthy in body, soul and spirit. Do you think there's a way to help my children avoid years of bad decisions and harmful behaviors?

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