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Cecelbrate Recovery
September 4, 2009
10:58 pm
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Does anyone on this side have experience with Celebrate Recovery? Are all meetings anywhere on Friday nights? I went to my first one tonight but could notstay for the whole program. It was from 6 til 9 and I had to get Cat.

Bitsy

September 8, 2009
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Bisty I do !!!

What do you want to know about it honey?

September 8, 2009
2:41 pm
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Thanks Terriberry!!!!! I was beginning to feel unloved;)

C recommended it to me. She attends in another state and I had been talking to her and the next thing she sent an email telling me when and where the next meeting was. It is right around the corner from my house and I have never been able to find a CODA meeting. I went and really liked the people. Some of it was a little over the top for me, but I am being open minded. It is in a church and I personally am among the "frozen chosen" and am uncomfortable with dancing and whooping and such in church but the message was good. I didn't get to stay for the small group introduction but plan to go back this coming Friday night. Is it like here? Is it more structured? Has it helped you?

I really think I may be having some anger issues. I am angry at being alone. My father died, a relationship ended (even if it was a bad one), I have struggled financially. I just think I am pissed off!!!!!

People have been telling me that I need to forgive R. Logically I know I need to forgive him for MYSELF but I just am not ready to let it go. Being angry with him serves the purpose of not letting him back into my life in any small way. I think I was treated badly by him and just don't want to do it yet.

But in the next breath, I want to move forward. To a great degree I have reached a certain amount of peace in my life. One of the only times I miss someone right now is when I see one of those K-Y His and Hers commercials on TV and am reminded I am not having sex. yet I don't want to just have sex with any old body. I truly want to make love with someone special.

Am I making any sort of sense????

Can you share your experience with Celebrate Recovery? What should I expect? (I also should say I probably wouldn't be the first, second, or third person you know to go down and get a "chip".

Bitsy

September 8, 2009
4:38 pm
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Hey ((Bitsy))!

Your are welcome, and your are making perfect sense! & Most of all,

You are LOVED SISTER!

Who ever "C" is she is giving you some great advice! In my opinion it is better than CODA meetings!
Much better, especially since you are a believer in Jesus Christ.

You just cracked me up with the "frozen chosen" comment.
I have to admit, to you that I am one of "those people" who find myself lifting my hands, and praising the Lord! Don’t let that scare you away,
because there was a time when I wasnt comfortable about that either. Keep an open mind, like you said.

To answer your questions, YES! & YES! And more than I could of ever dreamed!

Definitely go this Friday, and make the time to sit through the whole introduction meeting. It will be give you a good understanding, about what the whole program is about, and about the guidelines. CR is much like None, AA and NA. It is a 12-step program. The difference is that is that the people there are not afraid to say that " Jesus Christ" is are higher power.

It is also different in the fact that they have groups for several different issues in one place. Such as a group for Codependency, another for survivors of sexual abuse, another for addicts, and another for sexual addictions, anger, survivors of finical disaster, ect.

If you think have anger issues, ask them if they have a woman’s group anger issues. Then you will have a support group that has other women who trying to work thru anger like you are.

I ‘m sorry to hear about the loss of your father. I lost my Mom about two years ago, and It too was a bad relationship. Your small group can help you get thru this too.
I’m not sure who “R” is and what the situation is that happening between the two of you.
But as for the topic of forgiveness, Yes as Christians we are to forgive those who hurt us.
But I think there is a lot more to it than just that. Forgiveness doesn’t mean things have to it. Nor does it mean you have to let that person back into your life. Forgiveness is more for the person that is doing the forgiving than for the person that is being forgiven. It helps you to let go, of the hurt and resentment you have stored up.

I have learned it is much like the process. It takes time to forgive somebody. The bigger the hurt, the more time is needed. Don’t beat yourself up about not yet forgiving somebody about something they did to you. Give yourself time to feel all that your are feeling about that situation. IF your angry about whatever happened be angry. You will work thru, it. (Especially as you attend CR.)

I have had to ask God to help me learn how to forgive certain people in my life for the hurt they caused me, because I couldn’t do it in my own power. God will help you change your heart towards “R”. He maybe just is trying to show you a few things along the way as he does.

I understand the loneliness, you have mentioned, that goes along with ending a relationship that is unhealthy. Not wanting to have sex with any old body…. is a healthy choice you are making. You are making a healthy choice about considering attending CR. You are making progress, Bitsy… you really are.

But recovery is a life- time process, much like are walk with GOD.

To, answer your question about my experience with CR, well… that is a long story in itself. So hear goes.

I will start off my introducing myself like I do on Friday nights….J so, you can get a sneak preview for this Friday night.

I am a grateful believer in Jesus Christ who is recovering from the effects of Codependency, being the Adult child of Alcoholic parents, and the parent of an Alcoholic/Addict, bipolar daughter. I am also recovering from the effects of physical, abuse sexual abuse and emotional abuse and S.S.A. (same sex attraction).

I started attending CR, because at the time, my best friend and (girl friend) at the time. Asked me to come to the meeting because she was going to start, to become a leader/ and she wanted my advice on how to do things. Since I was good at telling her what to do, and how to do it. I said yes.

See I started going to CR, thinking I didn’t have any issues, it was everybody else who had the problems. If they would just listen to my great advice, things would be just fine.
Boy, oh Boy, did GOD show me a thing or two. I sat thru, the first intro meeting and after, pick up a flyer explaining what codependency was. I learn for the first time there was a name for what I was feeling. That I wasn’t the crazy person, I thought I was. That there where reasons I acted and felt like I did.

This was the first step, in a long three-year journey of recovery the Lord has had me on.
My life has change drastically changed since attending CR. My outlook on life, towards, my family, and the people in my life that have hurt me, my daughter who is the alcoholic/ addict, and towards, myself. And most importantly my relationship with GOD has improved a gazillion percent!

So, go ahead Bitsy, step up and get your first chip! It is a big step you will be taking towards, recovery!!

Your in my prayers,
tb

September 8, 2009
5:49 pm
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Thanks Terriberry. I also am the adult child of an alcoholic. My relationship with my father was good. I am just angry with him for dying too soon. I just wasn't ready to live in a world without him.

R is an ex-bf.

C is actually one of his alcoholic ex-girlfriends. Through all that he dragged me through she and I became friends. She went through an alcohol recovery program. She attends AA, works at the center, and is in CR.

The place I will go has what they call A to Z and Addiction for women.

I suppose after the introduction CR101 I will go to A to Z.

Thanks for sharing.

Bitsy

September 9, 2009
10:55 am
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Hey Bisty,

Your welcome, I think that your headed on the right track with attending CR101, and then the A to Z.

It's funny, how God works. I too became freinds with my ex's second wife. When she divorced him and remarried, I attended the wedding and even help her get ready, and pray with her on her big day.

It shows that you do have the forgiving spirit, and when the time is right, and your ready you will forgive R too.

Well take care and let me know how this friday night goes for you.

God Bless,
tb

September 11, 2009
6:37 pm
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Attending another meeting tonight. I will be able to stay for the whole thing tonight.

Bitsy

September 12, 2009
8:51 am
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OK so I attended my second Celebrate Recovery meeting. The people who do CR 101 the introduction were not there. There was a large crowd last night so they split the A to Z crowd up into two groups. I waited until last to speak since I was the new one. I told them if I had to pick a place to begin I would have to start with "I was born..." I am the adult child of an alcoholic. I did not see my mother for the last twenty years of her life. I only attended her funeral as someone who had known her when I was a child. I have been cheated on. I am angry at my father for dying on me too soon. I have everything wrong with me that everyone else has EXCEPY I am NOT codependent!!!! How can you be codependent if there is no one to depend on but yourself?

All in all it was a good meeting and I am glad I went and I have plans to go back.

The Lesson last night was on forgiveness. How apropos for me. I still have a lot of hurts that I have coverred up and said I am all better, but I really am not.

In that forum no one can really offer advice or tell you what to do so I am glad to be able to come to this site and receive encouragement and feedback. Thank you Terriberry for responding to this thread in the first place and thank you Ma should you read this for all the support and advice you have offered to the many who have come here and poured out their souls.

I definately am not the same person who first posted to this site in June of 2007

Bitsy

September 12, 2009
3:41 pm
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Terry and Bitsy,

Are these CR meeting every where or are they new? Just tried to google it in my area and didn't come up with anything other then in other states.

Healing and Peace

September 12, 2009
3:44 pm
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go to Celebrate Recovery dot com and pull up your state. I did discover today that they have an online one available for people who cannot make it to the weekly meeting.

It is Biblically based and the Higher Power is Jesus Christ.

I have only been twice but I am going again.

Bitsy

September 12, 2009
5:16 pm
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Thank you Bitsy

September 15, 2009
10:54 am
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YEah !!! Bisty,

Did you get a blue chip for your first meeting...?

I am so happy you went again. It is great to go and let some of that stuff you have been holding on inside go ! Keep on going, and you will truely see how, to improve your life my working the 12 step program.

Hi Healing Peace,

Where you able to find a group near you?

September 15, 2009
12:16 pm
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No I didn't get a chip. Surprising but I hardly talked about R and forgiveness which is what got me to go in the first place. I literally started with I was born, I am the adult child of an alcoholic, I am angry with my father for dying too soon, and I was cheated on. Kind of a big umbrella of all that I have to work on.

Bitsy

September 15, 2009
12:35 pm
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It's ok Bisty, I understand how you feel. Somedays I feel like a poster child for dysfuction.

Just take it one day at a time. Know that you are making progress in your recovery, my even showing up to the meeting and being willing to share.

Its not an easy, step to take, but it is sure an important one, on the road to recovery.

I am sending you a virtual blue chip for your first, meeting. 😉 . And a big hug ((( Bisty))).

September 15, 2009
12:40 pm
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OK Terriberry on the record September 15th Blue Chip for Beginners.

Bitsy

September 15, 2009
1:21 pm
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Hey Bisty,

Just want you to know, please feel free, to talk to me anytime you want. We can use this thread as a virtual on line meeting anytime you need it.

I know it is hard to open up, in front of a whole group of people, but just know it gets easier each time you do it. You'll grow to feel safe and open up as you hear others share as well.
So ok, today is the offical first day for Bisty...
Congrads on taking the first step, I am proud of you!

tb

September 17, 2009
11:26 am
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Ma do you offer something like this at your church? What are your thoughts?

Everyone else, please join in, this isn't an exclusive club between Terriberry and myself you know.

Bitsy

September 18, 2009
7:56 pm
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I am not going tonight becaues I have Cat and a friend of hers spending the night. I really am missing it. I will go again next week.

Bitsy

September 24, 2009
11:02 am
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Hey Bisty... .

Just thought I send you a quick hello. Hope all is going well.

t

September 24, 2009
1:26 pm
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Thanks. I am holding on until tomorrow night. I did find an online one if you aren't able to make your real life meeting. They stress that they encourage you to attend the real one. I kind of feel like you and I are two voices in the wilderness on this thread. Anyone else is welcome to join.

I am seeing a gradual change in my thinking.

Bitsy

September 24, 2009
1:58 pm
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((Bitsy)) & ((TB)))

So nice to read about Celebrate Recovery, if I am correct, after looking it up..It is a support group that beleives that Jesus IS there HP. I also believe this and often refer to God in my shares at alanon meetings. So many folks do not believe in God and Jesus but I can't even imagine living without my beliefs. I have a son who is recovering in NA and he was in a sober living house which is called Overcomers Outreach, they openly declare Jesus Christ as there higher power. He was expected to attend church each Sunday and also in-house meetings.and Bible study. It only took him about 3 months to call me and say "mom, I'm getting baptised this sunday" there even dunking me in water LOL..which made me smile. I believe that working the 12 steps are very simalair to the 10 commandments.
If we try to surrender our will to the Lord and try to our best ability to be kind and non-judgementel, and forgive all those who have harmed us, well,I think we will then be forgiven I think we become better people. The basis for this Overcomers Outreach is..recovery, salvation, serenity, and service. Thanks so much for this thread, it is a very positive bit of information for those in need of healing.thru Christ....

Love in recovery, Peace4all/ grammie

September 24, 2009
2:13 pm
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I am so glad you dropped in Peace4All. Join us in our discussions. I just started CR and have only been twice. It uses the Beatitudes a lot. I would love to dig deeper in but have scheduling conflicts so I am just catching it as I can right now.

Bitsy

September 24, 2009
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Hi Bitsy,

Glad to hear the meetings are helping. Online support is good. But there is a lot to be said for the meeting face to face.

It is a good, thing that you are starting to see some gradual changes. Remember your walk with Jesus and your in your Recovery is a process that will take a life time.

Peace4all,

So you glad you joined the conversation. CR is a great group, to go to. I also attend Al-non, both have been instrumental in my recovery process. But to me there is nothing like being able to worship, and fellowship and than share in safe place the struggles that go along with being co-dependant. Bitsy is right the 12 steps with CR are based on the Beatitudes and not on the 10 Commandments. I have a question regarding your comments,

“If we try to surrender our will to the Lord and try to our best ability to be kind and non-judgmental, and forgive all those who have harmed us, well, I think we will then be forgiven I think we become better people.”

Do you think that God wants us to try our best, by are own will power to do what is right?

September 24, 2009
4:31 pm
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Terriberry. I think you are splittin hairs so to speak. God wants us to do it ourselves, but He will give us the strength to do it. Does that make any sense at all to you. I think of it sort of like a parent. We want our children to learn to walk, but while we are letting them learn, we are hovering to make sure it all goes well. Occassionally they fall and bump their butts, we pick them up and let them try again. Or I could be over simplifying things.

Bitsy

September 26, 2009
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(((Terriberry)))

Hi there, you asked me if I think that God wants us to try our best by our own will power to do what is right.? Well, please allow me to restate my thoughts on this. No I do not think that God wants us to do anything by our own will power, I think we must surrender our will to him, I believe in letting go of our willfulness and giving our will back to him we can be healed. When we say the Lords Prayer we say "Thy will be done" not mine. So if i mis-spoke or it came out wrong, please forgive me. I believe that when we continue to hold onto our own will we continue to act as if we are in power, and I never meant to say it like that. I never ask for my will in my prayers, I always ask for God's will to be done and then I ask for his help to accept his will.and I ask these things and accept these things in Jesus name. Not sure I answered your question but all I know is this...for me..I believe that God is is complete control of everything and everyone and all situations. I am powerless over people, places and things. Thanks for inviting me into this thread and I hope we will be talking again soon.
Love in recovery, Peace4all/ grammie

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