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bookstudy - Codependent No More - EVERYONE WELCOME
January 16, 2007
7:49 pm
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mamacinnamon
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HEY LADIES:

Are we doing book study tonight at 9:30 cst? I have the characteristics in but need to do corrections. Please ARMY or GG let me know. It was mentioned above but not decided on.

thank you

January 16, 2007
8:22 pm
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armyleo
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We talked about it...I can meet...but if you have corrections to do maybe we should just meet on Thursday...

I don;t want you to rush...The first post does say Thursdays, so maybe we ought to keep it like that.

Sorry mama, your asking the wrong person here, I can never make decisions...

January 16, 2007
10:16 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Army, you are not the wrong person
If you'd like to talk then we can. Totally up to you. GG has her book so we could go on, I was gonna still put them up tho for anyone that didn't. So, if GG is here great. If not and you still want to talk then I'm here. maybe you want to discuss more of what we did last tuesday? Just let me know

January 16, 2007
10:26 pm
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armyleo
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Hi I'm here,

Maybe you have an idea we could review or talk about the previous week before we start new stuff on Thursday...

January 16, 2007
10:31 pm
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armyleo
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I wanted to bring something up from chpt 3

basically it says that recovery doesn't lie with the other person...but in ourselfs.

In the way we have let other people's behavior affect us, or affect them by controlling, obsessing, obessive "helping" low self worth bordering on self-hatred, self-repression, abudnance o anger and guilt, dependency,...etc pg 36

It also says that abandoment of self, communicatio prolems, intamacy problens and whirlwind trip through the (five-stage grief process???)

Here's the kicker...

I always thought because I controlled, or I controlled, how I wanted to behave, happy, not bothered, went on with life, that I was doing good. not all the above....

January 16, 2007
10:33 pm
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armyleo
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I guess I didn't realize I was going through all that... WOW that's alot of stuff...

I always thought because I handled it well without anyone knowing that I was doing good...

I also didn't realize I controlled...and that bothers me...because I guess I don't like the idea of someone controlling me.

January 16, 2007
10:37 pm
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armyleo
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mama, you still with me?

Oh sorry, I meant to say hi to everyone who joined during the week...

THANKS...I hope you continue..

January 16, 2007
10:45 pm
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armyleo
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I don't understand the grieving comment, unless I guess you left a relationship but then it's not really grieving,

I guess I equate grieving with the loss of a loved one.

All the above, makes us look bad, and now the other person looks good, the others who made us like this...I don't get it..

January 16, 2007
11:00 pm
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armyleo
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I guess we will keep this to Thursday's since no one is in...

I took a shower today : )

sigh...

January 17, 2007
12:28 am
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mamacinnamon
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army:

just got back. still here? playin tag tonight I spoze.

Let me hear from you. Hello????

January 17, 2007
12:56 am
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armyleo
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I'm here but it's your bedtime now...

January 17, 2007
1:11 am
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mamacinnamon
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LOL sorry mom, but not my bedtime.

still here??

January 17, 2007
10:41 am
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site coordinator
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Hey folks!

Glad to see another book club going & the interest in it!

I do have a suggestion but you don't have to use it - it's only a suggestion.

My Oberservation: In the past, book clubs on this site have failed because everyone tries to get on-line at the same time & make it a "chatting book club".

My Suggestion: that you use this thread to discuss 1 chapter at a time, and post to that thread whenever you want during the day. Then whenever you all feel you've finished discussing a Chapter, move on to the next Chapter.

Another Observation from the past: not only are folks who can't get online during the time-frame left out, but it's also confusing even when everyone DOES get on at the same time, because there's cross posting... nothing gets discussed in depth.

Hope this book club is successful at studying this book!

Love & Peace, SC

January 17, 2007
1:13 pm
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ggfred4
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Thank you....It makes sense!!!

January 17, 2007
3:07 pm
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thumkin
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so when do we begin working on the next section and what section will it be? I do have a copy of the book and really need this right now.

January 17, 2007
3:43 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Ladies, and gents:

For tonight's study let's work on Chapter 3. Army had some questions there that I've not had time to address, but will before study. If anyone else would like to also address these questions it would be good to have several perspectives.

Study tonight 10:30 est/9:30 pm cst/7:30 pm est.

CHAPTER 3

This will give me a little more time w/ proofing. Scanners don't always get it right and w/ the characteristics having bullets it looks a mess, but my youngest is helping. They will get posted as soon as we finish chapter 3.

Thank ya'll.

Is that ok w/ you GG and Army? I'm not in charge so want you input also since we three started it together. Anyone else's input is also welcome.

I do agree w/ SC on the cross posting problems. I did try to do this w/ others before and it was confusing to me anyway. And if you have 1 leader and everyone puts when they have something to say and the leader recognizes which person to post next takes forever and doesn't work either.

For tonight tho let's use the times to make decisions on how we want the bookstudy run. GG & Army specially you two and anyone else.

Sound fair? Hope so.

January 17, 2007
3:44 pm
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mamacinnamon
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ooops 7:30 pst

January 17, 2007
4:08 pm
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bevdee
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Mamacinnamon,

I have been following this thread and I was wondering if it would help to have a different thread for each chapter? Then, if somone comes in later, they could go to CH 1 or CH 2.

Just a suggestion. Thank you for all the effort you are putting into this, Mamacinnamon - and please thank your daughter, too.

Bevdee

January 17, 2007
4:23 pm
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armyleo
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I am so sorry I can't meet tonight, but I think it would be a good idea, to decide on how to run the bookstudy. Wednesday's are hard for me.

I'm pretty flexible otherwise...

However, whoever is on should go ahead. I don't want it to loose momentum. Maybe start chapter 4 on Thursday???

I kind of would like to meet 1 day a week at least for whoever can, I guess for me this will help me to read, learn and discuss. Knowing other are here, will motivate me to participate. We could probably start discussing the chapter and during the week add more in depth comments that we have been pondering/wondering/thinking about. Continue until we think we're done, and then start a new chapter.

This might be good for others, who can't meet, but would like to participate. It will keep the study going with fresh inputs, ideas and feelings.

Just my thoughts.

January 17, 2007
5:43 pm
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ggfred4
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can't meet tonight either...can tomorrow though...I like bev's idea...we need to keep this organized...okay, I need this organized for me and the way i function...if there was a thread for each chapter, we could post at our leisure also...THANKS BEV...

January 17, 2007
6:32 pm
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hi guys

here's my suggestion. I've just done a whole bunch of courses by "distance education", which had an online discussion component. I agree with Bevdee that separating the chapters by thread would make the discussion easy for people to access.

You could also include in the thread title, the date by which comments are "due".

Example thread title: "Codependent No More Study. Chapter 1. Due Jan. 20"

Then everybody posts when they can, and on Jan. 20 the discussion can be summarized by whoever is online. Then the new thread title is posted, and anyone who comes along later can still read the old thread, but people who are committed to the study right now can move along together.

Since mamaC has a scanner, perhaps she could post the chapter at or near the beginning of each new thread, for reference.

What do you think?

January 17, 2007
8:51 pm
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mamacinnamon
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WAIT WAIT WAIT....

MAMA is confused on days. The bookstudy is Thursday Nite at the above printed times. I AM SO SO SORRY that I am mixed up on my days. Thought this was Thursday.

SO Bookstudy tomorrow night, THURSDAY. (oh i'm so embarrassed)

MY Sincerest Apologies for any heart attacks I may have caused. Gonna go have one myself now.

January 18, 2007
2:20 pm
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soprano2
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Hey guys!!!!

There are some really great ideas for this book study, and I am sooooooooooooo interested. I love getting insight because, like most codependents, I tend to understand only what I want to, and insight helps me miss the parts that I am in denial about.

I really like the suggestion of having a different thread for each chapter, and putting it online with a date due. Those are great. The only time that I can get on is at school, and I can't make the evening things.

I am not discouraging the evening thing, we could even do both things. And if you need someone to help out keeping it organized, I would be willing to help out in any way.

Looking forward to reading it tomorrow during my free time at school.

s2

January 18, 2007
8:58 pm
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mamacinnamon
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s2:

if you need someone to help out keeping it organized, I would be willing to help out in any way.

Thank you so much for the offer. I will keep that in mind for the near future. I welcome any and all ideas. This is all new to me somewhat.

Thanks 🙂

January 18, 2007
9:47 pm
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soprano2
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Being a teacher by trade, I seem to keep the things that matter to me in order. I am sure that other people feel the same way.

I am going to try and catch you guys when you are talking. I am at a friend's house.

If not, I am looking forward to reading it tomorrow.

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