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December 11, 2009
11:10 am
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mamacinnamon
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Yes, Jesus says to forgive over and over but that does not mean you have to choose to keep letting yourself get hurt.

My soon to be ex lied to me about dope smokin before we were married. He justified it w/ he thought he could quit. I have spent the last 17 years yo-yoing between his lies and his promises and his setbacks and at this point I don't know that he ever really quit. Did I forgive? Yes. But a time finally came when I realized that forgivess is given when someone asks and is remorseful.

I finally made the decision that yes, I can forgive anyway whether he is remorseful or not, but if I choose to remain in that situation then I am the one at fault and not necessarily him. God wants us to live and be fruitful, happy, serve him. How can you do any of those when you are caught up in such a mess. It honestly takes ALL your time and attention to deal w/ the situation on a fulltime basis. So, by remaining was I not doing as my Lord chose for me to do? I think so.

I am not saying it will be the same for you. It is in what you believe in your heart and how much you are willing to put up w/. What I can say is that if you don't see any change and she is still repeating this behavior then you can choose to walk away or you can choose to stay and deal w/ her for however many years you choose too.

It took me many years to figure it out for myself. Take the time to reflect. Take obligation out of the equasion and think on what you want for yourself, your happiness, and specially your family if you have kids.

I wish you the best. It is ultimately your decision tho. It all comes down to how YOU want to live your life coz it doesn't sound like she's got a concern about you or your wishes or feelings.

December 11, 2009
11:11 am
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mamacinnamon
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Quick PS here.

Sometimes someone has to lose what they have or suffer consequences for their actions before they decide to change.

December 12, 2009
1:56 pm
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Martin Eden
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September 30, 2010
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stringtwanger,

I have seen that movie, read the book, and even bought a T-shirt!

Keep posting here; there are many good folks who can offer insite and support.

Good luck, you're gonna need it!

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