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Big Love
March 26, 2006
12:37 am
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free2choose
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Hey, has anyone seen that new show on HBO called "Big Love". It has that guy Bill from the movie "Twister", and Chloe Svegny for "Bouys don't Cry"...

It is about a "family", a man and his 3 wives and all of thier children.

It really made me think ALOT. I actually frightened myself because I found my head saying..."OMy, what are the children gonna think, that this is OK???!!!??" I mean, this is exactly what most people think abot gay people raising children, so that this would come out of MY brain really freaked me out, but in a way, that is what I think.

I mean, I think there is a big difference between polygamy and being in a gay realtionship....but really, if we are all consenting adults....????

Why am I so against polygamy? Well, I think it is very male centered!! I think it is mysogenistic in principle. I can not imagine being capable of not being jelous and someone not eventually getting hurt.

And that is not even mentioning the fact that in some countries, including small portions of this on, polygamist men often take wives that are in thier early TEENS. This is just sick and pedophilia!!!

But on this show, the wives of the main charater area not minors, they are all adults. Actully, it shows tha they do come from one of those "compounds" where men do marry teens, but they left because they do not agree with all of that.

But they are still polygamists...

Anybody wanna talk about this?? Anybody seen the show.

I am genuinely interested, I want to know peoples opinions, so that maybe mine will be more educated and I woun't remain so judgemental.

PLEASE....no preaching. Just easy talking, maybe some debate, but in the spirit of learning and growth, not saving souls!

Erica

March 26, 2006
2:02 am
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free2choose
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Come on People.....

Anybody...

Somebody!!!

March 26, 2006
11:31 am
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taj64
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To me it just about a man who cheats but it ok because all the women involved are in complete denial and willing to share and settle for the crumbs. Yuck.

March 26, 2006
7:50 pm
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free2choose
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LOL, Taj, thanks for responding.

Well, I guess nobody really cares about this. I'll just go check out the "Big Love" message boards.

If anybody wants to talk about this, I'd be happy.

Free

March 26, 2006
8:06 pm
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taj64
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I didn;t actually see the show. But I think it is crazy. I may have seen it if it was a repeat. On dateline last year or year before there was a special on a polygamist. It may be the same man. I just can't believe it.

March 26, 2006
8:57 pm
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free2choose
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Well, the show is actually a series, like a drama series. It is fictional, with basis, I believe on modern day polygamists.

I saw a special on Oprah once about one of those polygamist fundamentalist compounds, very cult-like. that was scary, and they show that on this show, but the main charaters are not a part of that anymore. They are much more modern.

I have a srong gut reaction to disagree and dislike that concept of polygamy. I view it much to much as very male centered. A very mysogenistic way of like. I can not imagine being someones 3rd wife.

But I am also VERY biased against all things I view as Male centered and degrading twards women, so my opinion is very biased.

I would like to learn more about it, before making such harsh assumptions and judgement. Especially sice my lifestyle is often compared to polygamous lifestyle in our fight for equla rights.

Erica

March 26, 2006
9:46 pm
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Zinnie
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Erica,

I did see a commercial for this show, but as I am working/traveling right now I did not get the chance to see it. I was not sure from the commercial if the show was a series or another (gag) reality show.

So, have you watched the show?

I have seen several specials on polygamy, and yes they do seem very male dominated; and yes, in the documentaries I have watched the men were marrying girls as young as 12 years old. Sometimes they were the daughters of one of the other wives from another relationship.

Z.

March 26, 2006
10:47 pm
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free2choose
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Z,

Yes, I have watched the show.

I have to admit, I am drawn to it in that sick way that people stare when they pass a car accident, looking for the blood and guts.

Morbid curiosity? An odd mix of fascination and disgust?

It is done well. As with most Cable series', it is pretty graphic sexually. Because I do not know much about Mormons, or polygamy, I can not say if it is accurate, and from reading posts on the message board for the show, I feel it is, and then it isn't. The same way that the L Word and Queer as Folk on Showtime is, and is not an acurate portrayal of gay life.

I will have to do more research.

My GF says, leave them be. They are consenting adults. She does not get my disgust, my anger, my view that it is so male centered.

She says that she bets that some women would have multiple husbands if they could.

I said, NO WAY!

And even if she would, what MAN do you know would settle for being husband # 2, or 3??? No way, hosea!

What do u think??

Erica

March 27, 2006
1:07 am
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Zinnie
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Personally? No, I cannot imagine any man (or at least any that I know of) that would settle for being #2 or #3.

There is a part of me that wants to agree with your girlfriend in the belief that they are consenting adults. BUT, the disturbing aspect for me personally was the documentaries that I watched depicted as I mentioned previously grown men marrying girls that were little more than children.

I feel the same unease with this as I do the Travelers who parade their young daughters (think sexed up Jon Benet) at little over toddler ages for prospective marriages.

Z.

March 27, 2006
2:53 am
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free2choose
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" feel the same unease with this as I do the Travelers who parade their young daughters (think sexed up Jon Benet) at little over toddler ages for prospective marriages."

??????? What are you talking about? I really have no clue, can you explain.

My main thing is that I view it as the women are thought of as beneath the men. As less than. The man is the one in charge. I don;t like this at all.

And of course the ones that are not just polygamists, but pedophiles.

Erica

March 27, 2006
7:42 am
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Zinnie
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I do agree with you there, at least from the documentaries that I have seen - the women depend on the man to make all the decisions. Including which wife he will "favor" that particular night. The women seemed to me to be treated as objects and not human beings. Kind of like "think I will drive the green car today."

Anyway, I need to scoot - but, look up Travelers on Google. Perhaps another interesting topic to discuss.

Have a good day.

Z.

March 29, 2006
8:07 pm
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smarterone
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i have seen the show and love it, so just put it along with other facts of life. Look at the other programs "L word" "queer as folk" its all part of life. Accept it or dont watch it or just kick your shoes off and make light of it. I do think that they are doing this program in a cleaner way.

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