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Are we human or are we denser?
August 21, 2012
5:49 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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That's just a song by the killers, but my topic for discussion for those who wish to discuss is how many times in one's life does one have to make the same mistake over again before something boinks them on the head and they finally realize that the choice leads to the ultimate same outcome which is negative for them? Do some never see the correlation for their entire life? When & how can a person try to step back and get some perspective on their choices and decide that they are done trying to do that which is not working out for them? Whenever I saw goodbye to someone in my life who I felt was stuck, I check back months later & that person is still repeating the same stupid dance. I dunno. Is it inherent in each person to repeat their mistakes for their lifetime & perhaps near death realize all too late what it is that they should have understood sooner?

August 23, 2012
11:07 am
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dop
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It can be frustrating to sit back and watch someone self destruct when the answer seems so obvious. One thing we get caught up in is “if I understand it why can’t they”. As negative or detrimental things may appear, they choose a behavior that is self destructing. Our brains are in a constant search for reward, gratification and acceptance. Our subconscious behaviors that have been acquired through life experiences can rule us and some behaviors are driven by chemical imbalances in the brain.

A woman who constantly seeks a man who treats her bad is obviously exhibiting self destructing behavior. To her she may feel deserving of this or has low self esteem. She may be willing to deal with it because there is enough attention there to make her feel wanted. All learned behavior that drives her to seek acceptance. You can spell out the obvious but she’ll return to what she knows.

A passive man might seek a controlling woman. He knows he doesn’t operate aggressively enough to be assertive. So he chooses a mate that fills this need. She could be insulting and demoralizing but he sees her as someone taking control. You can tell him that he deserves better but he’ll never leave her.

A person who smokes cigarettes knows it is bad for them. Whether it’s a chemical dependence, a calming effect or both it’s hard for them to stop. It’s hard for those who don’t smoke to understand this. A lot of smokers tell me something is going to get them any way. You really can’t fix that.

I’ll give myself as an example. You can tell me all day long that it’s ridiculous to be claustrophobic in an MRI machine. Which I know it is, but try sticking me in one while I am awake. It’s not going to happen.

I wouldn’t expect a depressed person to suddenly react in a positive way because I said you need to be more positive. Or an anxious person to calm down because you told them there is nothing to be scared of.

I guess what I am getting to is our behavior can be very complex and deep which is why the obvious isn’t so obvious.

August 23, 2012
9:35 pm
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Dardar
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~Greetings to you doplar. Well said.

August 24, 2012
4:49 am
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onedaythiswillpass
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Doplar,
so you think we just live our lives repeating & repeating until we die? I won't accept that answer with respect to my own life. I might venture backwards once in a while, but I believe that if I continue in self awareness, I will make some progress in my overall personal growth. I have seen myself get unburied from horrible situations. I have found ways to heal myself emotionally & carry on with my life. I have walked through many a fire & survived. I have trained my mind to overcome many obstacles by putting my responsibilities in life first. Everyday I try to focus on self progress. It's how I live. I refuse to let that go. When my time comes, no matter what the circumstance I will not go quietly. I will give it all that I have. I don't want to sit back and chalk it up to human nature or habit. If I want to change something about my character or a habit, I will keep trying to find a way to do it. I have been that way my entire life. Yes, I know there are things that others will be able to do that I cannot, and I will not try to believe that suddenly I will be able to do those things. But I know that there is plenty that I can do & can change in my life & those are the things that I will keep striving for. Otherwise, why am I here at all?

August 24, 2012
12:47 pm
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dop
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I responded to your post as if you were frustrated with giving advice to someone else and they still continue to self destruct.
If we are talking about ourselves I couldn’t agree with you more.
To answer your question: so you think we just live our lives repeating & repeating until we die? No. There are times when the burden of sorting out is so overwhelming to an individual that they need to seek professional advice. The examples I gave in my post would pertain to people who may be in such situations.
We go through life checking and rechecking our behavior constantly trying to find a place of balance. We’re never done we are always fine tuning, relapsing and moving forward again. We should be more acceptable of our flaws.
We’ve all climbed out of a hole of despair some more than others. I gathered that you have great pride in accomplishing this and it seems you’ve overcome some substantial events.

September 27, 2012
10:39 pm
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ShiningLight
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Maybe that is why we are called humans because we have lots of unpredictable characteristics and that is part of human nature. We love doing the things that we like over and over again regardless if it's good or bad and yet we realized it too late in the end.

October 6, 2012
5:28 am
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JamesMartin
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It is just matter of time to improve. A situation certainly comes when a person gets to know about how careless he/she has been all this time, which hence becomes the turning point.

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