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Are most truly sexy women unfaithful?
September 28, 2005
2:20 am
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sewunique
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Say, Tez,

Define 'sexy woman'. Is Sexy like cute, charming, sweet enticing smile with a bit of a flirt? Or that of a model or a movie star? Or a country girl?

Does intellegence or humour affect the determination of a sexy woman here? Or are you speaking only of the physical attributes of the female species? I just want to know how shallow or broad we are thinking here.

From whos' perspective are you asking what is a sexy woman that this biased opinion remark (IMHO) is about?

Perhaps if we understood what qualifies as sexy or not sexy in this first post of yours, it could help to clarify matters. What standards and criteria are you using to determine what or whom is a sexy woman?

With that in mind, with your (or your friend's) criteria of a sexy woman, then we would know whether one qualifies to answer from our own persona, (as being one of THE sexy women) or if not, to answer based upon our own experiences and knowledge.

Thanks, Tez ;-}

~Sew~

September 28, 2005
7:35 am
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Worried_Dad
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Given the high rate of marital infidelity with both men and women I don't see "attractiveness" changing it much.

But the guy with 100's of lovers? How can that be considered monogamous. Serial "monogamy" is the polygamy of the 21st century. Actually, I guess it was popular in the 20th century too.

September 28, 2005
10:06 am
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kc30
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How could an unfaithful woman be truly sexy? Part of sex appeal has to be a sense of self- a confidence that tells this world "Here I am...love it or leave it"

Being unfaithful requires deceit...an unwillingness to be who you really are. Nothign sexy about that...just ends up being a nicely wrapped present with an empty box inside.

Sexy women don't cheat...even if they don't believe in monogomy...they value themselves enough to own it.

IMHO

September 28, 2005
10:32 am
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exoticflower
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So, Kc, being one with values and personal standards of behavior is sexy?! I really like that! However, I think sexy to the man who made this statement to Tez must be something else:(

September 28, 2005
1:00 pm
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tracylyn
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I couldn't agree more.

High morals, self respect and confidence are very sexy I think - in men and women both.

This goes back to my first post about women that stray - the confidence is gone - they don't feel sexy or know that they are sexy and they seek to find that confidence booster outwardly. Let me change that however to "some" women cheat for that reason. I know there are many, merely speaking of myself and what I discovered during therapy and trying to learn and grow from those mistakes.

I think some women just oooze sexuality. No matter what their size or shape of clothes they just seem sexy which leads to the above statement about sexiness being an inner feeling or attitude.

Come on men - what do you think sexy is?

t

September 28, 2005
1:03 pm
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sewunique
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The male population either has dwindled here or is non responsive?

🙁

September 28, 2005
1:40 pm
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tracylyn
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In response to Tez's question ~

"Does it all boil down to sexy women being those with the know-how of just how to bait the hook? To wiggle their tooshies and to smile seductively? "Who will look after poor little vulnerable me in return for the 'pathway to paradise' that I'll show you?" she seemingly asks with a demure smile, blood red lips and long fluttering eyelids. Is such a sexy, flirtatious woman objectifying her own body in order to have her own needs met at the expense of her sisters"

No way - that is not a sexy woman - that is a slutty woman. There is a huge difference.

t

September 28, 2005
7:20 pm
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Phew!!

I feel like I just knocked over a bee hive while only wearing my 'under derps'.

Sew~ challenged me by saying:

"Say, Tez, Define 'sexy woman'."

Wow! I could approach that question on many levels. I'll start by defining a really sexy woman on the most shallow general level first.

From the very common perspective as held by my aforementioned buddies, a sexy woman is one who has all the guys chasing her with their tongues hanging out. She genuinely wants and likes sex as much as men do. Every ounce of her body language says, "Have me and you will be in ecstacy." She has the power to make men forget all future consequences of being with her for just such an interlude. All thoughts of AIDs, etc don't even manifest. As the saying goes "A standing prick knows no conscience." And a woman who can evoke such a hard on response at a socially acceptable distance would surely be a sexy woman - or is she?

At a deeper level, the answer to this question of defining a sexy woman, is much more subjective.

Each man(and perhaps women too) has, in my opinion, a deeply unconscious desire to recapture the rapture of infancy, being totally without individuation, at one with the universe, totally loved, infinitely valued with every need satisfied. The closest we ever come to this is, in my opinion, in early infancy wherein a psychological, physiological, and emotional 'image' or 'template' of our mothers(and perhaps including fathers in an indiscriminate way) was formed in our memory banks. Who men find extremely sexually attactive very much is, in my opinion, partially(if not largely) a function of this 'image' or 'template'. I stress that this image is complex, containing much more than just a visual component.

When I was 20 years old, I joined the Royal Australian Air Force. On my way down to my rookie training base, I stopped over in Sydney and went to what was then the famous Palmer St., of Kings Cross where all the prostitutes had their 'cubicles'. Dozens of women stood at the doors of their individual rooms opening out to the street. Each tried to exude sexuality to compete with her next door rival. What amazed me was that some men were milling around the door of a big fat moma while slim horny looking chics were being bypassed by them. This reinforced my life long belief that when it comes to sexual attraction, 'to each his own' is very true.

Over the last few years I have come to believe that the 'template image' explains what 'each wants to own'. A man, I believe, wants ideally to have unlimited access to whom he unconsciously believes can deliver what he once had. When he gets this person, he is often if not always less than satisfied and not knowing why. This explains our very high divorce rate in the western world. Those who do stay together often do so for other reasons and accept their 'sexual' frustration, not realizing that it has little to do with sex!!!

What about those who do get their perfect template match? Well ... if that man had a very loving mother, then he will be a very happy man and if the woman has her match too then a life long relationship will probably result. If not then 'codependency' may rear its ugly head and the old push-pull game may start on its way to its destructive end.

Phew!!

September 28, 2005
9:03 pm
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sewunique
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Tez, you Rock!

Digesting your full and clever explanation. Putting the wind back into my sail before returning a post.

Whew!

~Sew~

September 28, 2005
10:20 pm
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Neshema
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My head is spinning...is that sexy?

kc- cool answer.

Love me or leave me, babycakes! Here I am!

September 30, 2005
2:05 pm
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on my way
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I am a very sexy lady, and I have never been unfaithful, nor would I ever consider it. In fact I am very loyal. Relationships that are important, do not warrant such behavior, but I also beleive it has to do with morals as well.

September 30, 2005
6:45 pm
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on my way
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Also, there is a difference between sex drive and sexual attraction. Sex drive can decrease as we get older....ok, maybe for just the women folk...but if a relationship has remained for many years, the sexual attraction is always there...just slows down as to do something about it. All part of the whole schmo.

October 1, 2005
12:51 am
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Neshema
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I am sexier than yesterday. Does this mean I am going to be less faithful? HAHA!

October 1, 2005
7:26 pm
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I talked to the buddy who made the statement about really sexy women being unfaithful. I asked him to confirm this belief of his and he did so. I read to him what I had written about him on this site and he laughed. I asked him if any of it was untrue and he couldn't deny it.

He still strongly maintains that the truly sexy women that he had known over many years were all unfaithful to the men that they were with. None where ever unfaithful to him because he never went into a relationship with these types of women.

He said that he didn't know the number of the women with whom he had been in a sexual relationships. Some were very short. However he said it would have to be well over a 100 women over the years.

He has been with just one lady now since the 6th Jan 2004. I know the date because I laughed when he told me then that this was the 'one' for him for life. I then made a wager with him and wrote it down. He said that if this lady turns out NOT to be the one then he will give women away for ever. Then after realizing that I was documenting his words, he rethought what he had said and modified it by saying " ... well, I will only screw them" meaning that he would not go into another relationship again, other than one night stands. But I did not believe him then nor do I now.

Well guess what? He is now in the process of breaking it off with this partner(that of the wager)! I dragged out my documented wager and he laughed. I said "WELL, what about how sure you were then? Wasn't I justified in telling you that I didn't believe you then?" He came up with a litany of reasons why this present partner wasn't the one, facts that he didn't know at the time of the wager. I said, "You never will find the perfect woman like you remember your dead wife to have been." He smiled wistfully and said, "You're right." Now he is on the single's dance scene and has other women chasing him already. At least his relationships are lasting longer.

Do some women pretend to be sexy only to bait the hook? Or do some women need men chasing them to get some basis for feeling of some value? Or are some women just trying to turn men on in order to feel their power over them? Do some women want to inflict pain on men in retaliation for past rejection, pain, punishing dad for lack of validation, etc? Do some women dolly themselves up to look really horny to get just that one special type of guy but then resent it when other men make passes at them?

Isn't it all about honest with oneself and others?

October 1, 2005
9:18 pm
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Randomwomen2
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i dolly myself up so that i can feel wanted by someone even if its just guys whisteling or looking at me it just makes me feel wanted i dont do it to toy with anyones emotions i just want to feel pretty i guess. I have been faithful inn my marrige and i have been told that i am beatiful and i dress sexy sometimes.

October 2, 2005
3:31 am
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Neshema
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Okay, now I have heard everything! Yeah, I like to look good just to bait guys and then hurt them...

Maybe you and your friend's definition of sexy, Tez, is the problem.

I read a lot of extremes here. So, the answer is to look like crap, is that what you are suggesting? I think someone who takes pride in her looks has a healthy self esteem. This isn't the dark ages. On the othe hand, it doesn't mean that all sexy women look like hookers, as was implied.

As I said before, appearance does not define our values...but I do not know the correlation coefficient between how someone would be rated on appearance and number of times she cheated.

Regardless, I suspect there is some variation in that different people find different things attractive.I sort of resent this stereotyping.

October 2, 2005
3:39 pm
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mj
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I consider myself to be a sexy woman and I can guarantee I am faithful!

October 2, 2005
5:46 pm
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Neshema

On 2-Oct-05 you said:

"Maybe you and your friend's definition of sexy, Tez, is the problem."

Maybe you do have a different definition. What is your definition of a sexy woman?

October 2, 2005
5:51 pm
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mj.

Perhaps Neshema is right. Perhaps my male friends and I do have a different definition of what is a truly sexy woman.

Maybe someone should start a thread called "What are the Characteristics of a Truly Sexy Woman?"

What's your definition of a sexy woman?

October 3, 2005
4:25 pm
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on my way
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We attract who we are, what is familiar. If your friend attracts sexy women who are unfaithful, it is most likely what he knows, and even may subconciously attract such women without knowing it. So the statement or title of the thread only applies to your friend and not necessarly sexy women.

October 3, 2005
4:26 pm
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bel
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Tez, you mean to say that all sexy women flirt around and cannot be trusted to be monogamous?

I am not bad looking and have been told I am or was sexy looking but I dont think that had any affect of how I treated my partners. I dont believe that sexy looks determines what kind of woman or man we are. I think it goes case by case.

When I have dated a man I dont think my first thought was I want this man to take care of me and spoil me and if he does I will give him my body to use as he wishes. In fact I never started a relationship with those thoughts.

I dated men because their was a mutal attraction and the relationship continued to whatever it would be...

And I Have never flirted when I was in a comitted relationship, I never even thought of it.....

Bel

October 3, 2005
5:46 pm
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bel

On 3-Oct-05 you asked:

"Tez, you mean to say that all sexy women flirt around and cannot be trusted to be monogamous?"

No ... I didn't say that. My two buddies both said that and both agree with each other.

But from the many responses here, I guess there are a some words that mean several different things to different people.

Those words are: sexy, flirtatious, monogamous, unfaithful.

October 3, 2005
5:54 pm
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On my way.

On 3-Oct-05 you wrote:

"... If your friend attracts sexy women who are unfaithful, it is most likely what he knows, and even may subconciously attract such women without knowing it. So the statement or title of the thread only applies to your friend and not necessarly sexy women. "

While what you say may well be true, it doesn't really apply to him. I don't think that any of his very many women were unfaithful to him. I think that he observes women who he sees being unfaithful to other guys and the sexuality that they exude. He sees lots of guys drooling over these women - he doesn't. In fact, while observing their sexy behavior and appearance, he has contempt for them. He admits that these women could well be rotten in bed. He never lets them get that far with him.

October 3, 2005
7:38 pm
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eve
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Maybe men find women sexy who exude some kind of *availability*? A woman who seems readily available for a sexual encounter will of course not at the same time appear Mme. faithful.

October 3, 2005
7:41 pm
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on my way
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Maybe your friend then sees a lack of authenticity among these types of women who exude this sexuality? I think we get what we put out there, do you?

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