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Are most truly sexy women unfaithful?
September 26, 2005
6:40 pm
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A buddy of mine who is a consumate european lady's man, categorically stated to me recently that ALL really sexy ladies flirt around and cannot be trusted to be monogamous.

Further, he said that if a woman is a truly faithful person then the price tag is sex without much passion.

Normally one would dismiss such statements as a gross overgeneralizations and exaggerations. However, this guy who is very faithful and monogamous himself, has had literally 100's of relationships over very many years. Few last more than a month or two before he dismisses his partners. The peculiar thing is that all his ex's still love him and chase him. The one true love of his life, his wife, died having a routine hysterectomy, from a botched surgical procedure. They were both very young at the time and he reared their five children alone. He still loves his wife dearly and no woman comes up to her by comparison.

So ... it is not easy to dismiss his statement about 'sexy' women lightly. He has the 'runs' on the board; the experience from which to draw as it were. Perhaps he attracts nymphos!

Is he right!! Is this why so many faithful women lose their sex drive after marriage and kids? Or is it because so many 'Brad Pitts' turn into 'Danny DeVitos' - no offence Danny. šŸ™‚

September 26, 2005
6:53 pm
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sewunique
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What??? Is this? Speaking for myself, Tez. When I was married, I never cheating and there was much lacking in romance. Let's see...for birthdays, the holidays; you get it.

My eyes were downward and I never looked at another.

NOW? Wow, did not realize the charisma was still there until the opportunity allowed it's doors to be opened. Surprised even myself.

Blah! to your friend's theory. Maybe he has just found some 'available' women, whatever that entails.

For this gal, had a man flirted with me before, I wouldn't have noticed! Just thought perhaps he was charming.

But then again, Sew is pretty naive.

Or used to be, now just a bit vulnerable and I try to catch that when I get caught off-guard.

A different topic at hand to spew about, isn't this?

~Sew~

September 26, 2005
7:15 pm
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exoticflower
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"However, this guy who is very faithful and monogamous himself, has had literally 100's of relationships over very many years. ". First, explain this. There is no way that he can have been in any REAL relationship that was based on mutual respect if he could have moved on swiftly to the next. The levels of commitment, and levels of seriousness here are questionable.

Secondly, I bet I know why. Here comes my confidence: I AM a truly sexy woman. Have been told so my whole life. And I have on a few occassions dated men who had less experiance with women or who where less attractive or a little shy becasue they tended not to generalize me or deduce such obnoxious or absurd things from my appearance. Maybe the truly sexy women who would bother with a serial dating jerk like this cheat, but you know, so would I. If iwould bother at all. But for the most part I, as well as the other women who I know that are very sexy or beutiful (I think there is a difference) just want to be loved, becasue looks aside, they are nice women who want or have families and a pleasant future down the road. I think your friend sounds like a jerk regarding this matter, maybe he has been hurt becasue he has hooked up with a lot of women like himself, quick to make blanket statements or act out wityh multiple people that meet some physical marker rather than develope meaningful relationships based on more than looks and stamina and status. I know guys like your friend, and moer often then not they date this way and say these things becasue they think dating lots of pretty ladies will make them feel like better people, and when it doesn't work, they blame the pretty ladies that they where just with to feel better about themselves to begine with.

Whew! That was a moutful, wasn't it? But at least I have it all out of my system now.

Oh, and I lost a lot of sex drivw too when I had a wonderful child that runs me ragged, gets up at the wee hours of the morning and begins clawing at my breasts immediately, when I have to see stretch marks and do extra crunches to keep that 'baby phat' from coming back. And less so when I had to keep a house, keep myself pretty AND meet the sexual needs of the partner who wanted me to be mary tyler more AND madonna?! I think that one comes down to : You grow up. You have more things on your plate, your requirements and ambitions are different as an adult. I refuse to think that is the 'price tag' that comes with anything, I think that is a wonderful contribution to man kind- go get a 19 year old if you want a sex machine, why bother commiting in the first place?!

Sorry, Tez, just some outrage there, I've been furious with stuff like this for years: The second I realized I was heavily attractive, or at least the second other people did, I have felt deduced to this same absurd, frustrating, unfair steriotype and I HATE it!

September 26, 2005
7:19 pm
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exoticflower
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Oh, and I mean your friend as they once where, not who he is now (though if he still feels this way, he should examine that chip on his shoulder before reducing a lot of wonderful girls who are also lucky enough to look stunning to a shallow and insulting, degrading stereo type).

September 26, 2005
7:23 pm
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sewunique
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Okay, maybe I peeked a little....but I was interested in my partner and tried to work with that and not to look elsewhere. Being committed and loved and loving is in itself sensual.

As a matter of fact, I am sad it ended up as it did in many respects, but nothing more I can or could have done to fix it. I exhausted my options.

Bravo! EF, well said.

Tez, this guy's name isn't Don Juan, is it?

September 26, 2005
8:58 pm
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mamacinnamon
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Hi Tez... it's nice to see you again.

I am truly a faithful woman and I do suppose there is a price tag if you count expecting your partner to also be faithful. Sex w/o passion? No, not here; I am very passionate in my beliefs and in the things I do, including sex.

"Few last more than a month or two before he dismisses his partners." It is easy to be faithful to someone for a month or two. There is no real commitment there. No sense of of respect or compassion. There is no time for anyone to come close to the pedestal he has put his true love on. The type of real love he has for her takes time to grow. Could also be that with time he has elevated his true love even higher upon that pedestal that she was. So how could any woman ever measure up?

Sad his true love had to leave this life, but bless him for raising his children. What a true man he is for that.

Is he right??? NO, not in my opinion. I think you could be right about his attracting nymphos tho. The women he attracts wil be determined by the persona he reflects.

As for women losing their sex drive? Could it be that once married the hubby gets comfortable and he stops the wonderful way he treated her during the chase? And any woman that has the responsibility of taking care of the baby, the house, the laundry, the cooking, the cleaning, holding down a job, fulfilling her wifely duties.... it's enough to put any woman into total exhaustion and well need more be said?

September 26, 2005
9:16 pm
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Rasputin
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Tez,

I heard that most hot sexy-looking men are only looking for chase, one night stand, easy women, they are unfaithful even when they get married.....

To be honest with you, I do not like hot sexy men. I found out that all what they are interested in is sex. They are faraway from serious committed relationships.

Whenever I am pursued by very attractive man I know already what he is looking for, only one single thing....

So, the tables are turned!!!

September 26, 2005
9:40 pm
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faceit
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oh brother, ....define truly sexy woman? Is this aying that if you are an attractive prson that you are just so shallow and horney you can't stop from screwing around. please..inlighten me then, I must be missing something

September 26, 2005
9:45 pm
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exoticflower
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Or if you aren't, you're just a cold fish in bed. "All that toast and can't spare no jelly? " I believe they said in highschool when I dared to be attractive and NOT(gasp) ready and willing the second I was noticed!!!

September 27, 2005
4:50 am
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Hmmm!!

I read all your responses to another mate of mine who is a muso playing a Technics Keyboard at dances. He said that he agrees with my other buddy. I wonder if a lot of men think this way about sex and women partners in general?

Maybe some men on this site might like to put forward their views on this obviously controversial issue.

Is it all the man's fault?? Or is there something deeper going on??

What do you think, fellas???

September 27, 2005
11:39 am
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site coordinator
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*SC smirks and shakes head*

*laughs*

and sits back...

September 27, 2005
1:37 pm
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mamacinnamon
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HI SC.... nice to see you. Sit back and enjoy the show. šŸ™‚

September 27, 2005
1:45 pm
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exoticflower
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Is sc shaking head like "no, no, you guys are too much" or more of a "yes, yes, fight my little pets" way? šŸ™‚

What if we woke up and where all just some site coordantors dream!? šŸ™‚

September 27, 2005
2:01 pm
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sewunique
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Ah! The challenge is on! Tez has invited all to participate in a most engaging topic. Where will it go from here? What are the outcomes? Will there be any resolutions?

To be continued in AAC fashion, another enticing thread........

September 27, 2005
4:21 pm
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Rasputin
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Wow, this is getting so exciting. I can hardly wait for others' perspectives!!!!

Come on guys, lets get started!!!

September 27, 2005
5:16 pm
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exoticflower
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Well, in large part, men seem like they would HAVE to be the ones who really contribute to most problems...Women aren't physically ruled by something the way man is, or at least where not given that excuse. Men break our heart. Women 'tease' men. It is not a matter of loving or respect or regard that is the first problem for a man, it is a matter of the entitlement issues their winkie has! When women cheat it is becasue they lack something emotional, and you always hear men say that they 'got caught up', 'got seduced', 'where not having their needs met'. Cheating, I think, is ALWAYS a wrong and selfish act, but the excuses men have are really reflective of the things about a lot of men that we are dealing with here: entitlement, chips on shoulders, pride, ego, status. That may be a lot to type out at once, I'm gonna think of a better way to word this...anyone else see what I'm getting at here that could phrase it better or hone in on what I am really trying to say?

September 27, 2005
5:28 pm
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tracylyn
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OOOoooOOooooOOOo ~ this one looks fun. I have some thoughts.....

Many stunningly sexy women that I know have truly low self esteem (myself included - IMHO).

We are seen as sex objects, we are looked at not for what we have to offer emotionally or intellectually but rather what we offer up physically.

We struggle through our jobs having to try harder than the next person because we are not taken seriously. You know, we couldn't possibly have a brain because we look good.

We are asked out simply because we are eye candy. Not taken seriously when we try to buy a car or go to the hardware store or try to do to most basic of tasks.

So now, consider after being treated with such little respect and not being seen for who we are but rather what we look like - that tends to give such sexy women and sense of very little self worth.

Take that low self worth and add a few drops of a flirtatious man and suddenly he's made us feel good about ourselves - even though superfiscial - at this point we'll take whatever feel goods we can.

So if what Tez stats is possibly statistically correct - this could be such an answer as to why.

Just some food for thought here and speaking from experience.

I strayed from my husband but not because of how I looked but because of how I felt at that time - I had such low self esteem and someone made me feel good about myself.

The me today - still very sexy - would never stray because I think too much about myself.

Ohhh wait - and passionless - no way!!!

t

September 27, 2005
6:48 pm
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exoticflower
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Tracy, GREAT thoughts! ALso, feeling like a sex object and used after you got that good vibe from a man the first few times...always leaves me feeling colder and more betrayed and hurt, thinking less of myself beyond a sexual being. WHy would you want to stick with a guy that left you feeling that way?

September 27, 2005
7:55 pm
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Where are all the responses from you blokes? Is it that you fellas believe what my two mates believe is true but don't want to admit it for fear of being attacked?

What does Tez believe about this issue?? I dunno!

Perhaps we ought to be discussing what men generally considered to be sexy in women. Is it just good looks? I don't think so. I've known very good looking women who project very little sex appeal. Yet I've known other much less attractive women who just ooze sexuality.

Does it all boil down to sexy women being those with the know-how of just how to bait the hook? To wiggle their tooshies and to smile seductively? "Who will look after poor little vulnerable me in return for the 'pathway to paradise' that I'll show you?" she seemingly asks with a demure smile, blood red lips and long fluttering eyelids. Is such a sexy, flirtatious woman objectifying her own body in order to have her own needs met at the expense of her sisters?

Exotic Flower said:

"It is not a matter of loving or respect or regard that is the first problem for a man, it is a matter of the entitlement issues their winkie has!"

Hmmmm! The one eyed trouser snake cops the blame once again.

When it comes to keeping their man's "winkie" happy, do women see themselves in competition with each other? Is that what makes this issue so much of a hot potato? When it comes to their men looking at other attractive sexy women, do women generally resent the way nature coerces males into fathering offsprings?

Many years ago, another mate of mine came into work furious with his missus over something or other. When I asked him what his problem was, he said: "Wimmin!! We wouldn't talk to them if they didn't have a pussy!" Then as the all male company roared laughing at him, he stomped out of the room in dsgust.

Is this true??? When it comes to relationships, for men is it all just about "getting a bit of pussy"?

What about the main motivation for women seeking sexual relationships with men? Is it all just about satisfying their security needs for themselves and their children? Is it just about women getting their emotional needs met? Though I'm not so sure that it is true, is this why women seem to want long term stable relationships more so than men?

What is this thing called 'love' really all about, girls??

September 27, 2005
8:00 pm
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Is it all about who controls who and how?

September 27, 2005
9:03 pm
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exoticflower
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I'm told a lot of times that I'm sexier because I am smart and funny, and because i get a lot of guy stuff which takes men by surprise. ANd because I am blunt with men. And I've heard it's sexy that I drinl scotch. I don't get any of it, I really don't. That stuff to me seems interesting, but if you saw a very unatractive girl with these traits you would call her Rosanne or one of the girls from ab fab. I think it's just what men say to excuse their own pettiness while thinking "so hot, never expected her to have a personality too...". And it's only likable on a pretty gal. Saying it isn't about looks is BS!

September 27, 2005
9:06 pm
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hottamales
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No, not all men think like the other two "blokes" do

September 27, 2005
11:16 pm
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mamacinnamon
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I agree that not all men think like the other two "blokes" do, but it is very few that do not.

I hate to think the chase is all about mr. winkie looks around and the first sexy girl that blinks at him, he nods back and there ya have it. winkin, blinkin, and nodd.
Say it isn't so.

I am not qualified to speak on the chase coz I never did any chasin. Hmm. Doesn't look like I missed out on much as far as that goes...

"What is this thing called 'love' really all about, girls??" "Is it all about who controls who and how?"

I would truly hope not. What a miserable existance that would be.

Ok, to me, imho, this is what I think love is all about....

Love is perseverance. It take 100% commitment and hard work by each person.

Love is committment. When you stand by your partner and take the slack for him/her at all costs.

Love never fails. You never give up; you go thru the happy, the sad, the fights, the making up, etc.

Love does not envy or boast. You don't hold things over your partner's head or make your partner feel less to build yourself up.

Love is not self-seeking. You have to give and take. There are commonalities; goals.

Love is not easily angered; keeps no record of wrongs. Well, most of the time.

Love is patient and kind. Specially when you want to jump in and let your partner know just how it is.

Love never fails because each partner does not give up on the other.

Love protects, trusts, hopes, forgives

Love is not perfect; life is not fair.

Love is growin old together and bein able to look at each other and say "how bout that" and smile. šŸ™‚

September 28, 2005
12:04 am
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The question is:

is site coordinator really the site coordinator?

I am a very hot woman who has never been unfaithful. I would be hotter, but I am too skinny now...I guess that means I will be even more faithful now? I don't think looks have anything to do with values, but I have not read the research on that!

September 28, 2005
12:58 am
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Anonymous
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No!

Some long to be joined and committed to that one prefect man.

I was unfaithful...twice in a 6 year (on again, off again) relationship. It was a lifetime ago, and he still doesn't know about it. I won't justify my unfaithfulness with a sob story of how he treated me. I choose to cheat.

I've only had a few serious relationships since that one.

While my mind may have gone wondering about what life might be like with, say, Tom Cruise, I haven't been physically unfaithful to anyone since.

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