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Afghan Sisters Refuge
November 22, 2006
10:50 pm
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ggfred4
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thanks light, what a nice welcome, and so badly needed now....

(LL) (mich) (cyn) (need),,,love you...I am still at loss and deeply hurt and the only thing keeping me here is you four...I do attend coda meetings regularly now (you hear that out there?) I am too upset to talk. It is NOT that I need your your friendship and support; I WANT your friendship and support...and there is a difference...with love and many tears here, gg

November 22, 2006
11:08 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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I want out

November 22, 2006
11:10 pm
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ggfred4
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mich, please, been waiting for you all day to make a decision...

November 22, 2006
11:11 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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the problem lies that I don't know that I can make it without LL

November 22, 2006
11:12 pm
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ggfred4
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please read everything...and make sure you read LL's posts...then breathe, then talk to me...because I have to talk to you...I don't give a damn what people think

November 22, 2006
11:12 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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gg, it sounds like you are willing abd Cyn I think, I haven't read enough to know yet

November 22, 2006
11:13 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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is LL gone I am gonna lose my fucking mind over this....over people that really had nothing to want with us...give me a break...

November 22, 2006
11:14 pm
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ggfred4
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??? don't understand what you just wrote..totally confused, hurt, mad, sad, you name it

November 22, 2006
11:15 pm
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ggfred4
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i am sure LL will check in b4 leaving for work...

November 22, 2006
11:18 pm
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ggfred4
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mich, can we talk? I will wait here until you are ready, guess you are reading?

November 22, 2006
11:21 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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I am done reading gg. This is so stupid that it makes me just livid...period...

November 22, 2006
11:26 pm
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ggfred4
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mich, I have cried more than ever the last 24 hours, but there is other stuff too going on...i have not gotten this off my mind all day...even ruined two desserts because I couldn't keep my mind on what i was doing...It doesn't matter what i say here, no one understands and I think it is NOT their business! I do feel publically humiliated and sorry out there listening, I am oversensitive...but don't think you care anyway!!!

November 22, 2006
11:27 pm
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ggfred4
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Right now, I want to know what you think and want to know what you are going to do...this is important to me...Oh yes, anyone out there, I can make up my own mind, I am not dependent on mich, I love her and want her in my life!!!

November 22, 2006
11:29 pm
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ggfred4
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Please LL, this would be a good time for some big sis wise advice...

November 22, 2006
11:31 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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I am so broken hearted over what my psychologist believed to be a good thing. This makes me sick. gg, I do not know. Part of me really wants to go, part of me doesn't know what I want. This makes me abolutely sick. I would give it all up, if I could still have contact with LL, you, Cyn, and Need....

November 22, 2006
11:33 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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gg, when are you leaving to go out of town...? Where is Cyn? Is she gone for the night? Ll hasn't come back...what is Need saying. I am so confused.

November 22, 2006
11:36 pm
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ggfred4
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mich, guess twins think alike...I feel the same way...I felt safe on that thread to open my heart and empty my thoughts and now, if I stay, I don't feel that way...so can I feel supported here? if I am guard here? I don't know...I am sure LL is staying and I can't leave her either...

I don't mich...I was hoping I could have this resolved tonight because tomorrow is going to be a very hard day and I just don't need this too...mich, I do want your friendship and want you in my life...I love you mich...

November 22, 2006
11:38 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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we are the two emotional messes, where are the two with any ration to their thoughts? When are you leaving tomorrow gg?

November 22, 2006
11:39 pm
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ggfred4
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I think need is okay here, but going through a very depressed state...

Cyn is a trooper, so strong, but is hurt, and went back and talked on the hurting thread that I cannot go back to...don't know if she will be back on tonight...

I really think LL will check in before she goes to work tonight; she usually does

Mich, I don't care what they say, you are so important in my life and I don't want to lose you...

November 22, 2006
11:40 pm
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ggfred4
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I am leaving by 9 your time mich...yes, we tend to be the emotional messes and yet because of it...we get talked about...I am sure you got the message there...

November 22, 2006
11:42 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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honestly I almost feel betrayed...I feel like everything that I have trusted in and everything is gone...people who don't give two shits about any of us, felt like they should destroy us. For what? I have shared my heart here....I have emptied my closet, and only to be told that the way I am dealing with it is wrong again. Where the funny thing there is, my psychologist thought that it was wonderful. How does this work? I am so hurt and so confused that there are not words.

November 22, 2006
11:44 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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I really don't give a shit what anyone thinks of you and i. I truly don't. PERIOD. Our sisters accepted us just the way that we were, and that is that. That is what made us close. We didn't judge each other..we could say anything. We tought each other to love, laugh and hold. I am so sad by all of this.

November 22, 2006
11:45 pm
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ggfred4
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mich, I agree...someone looking in to think they are supporting us and helping us by stating that? I am sorry, I do not agree with them at all...and mich i know you read my lost poem...do you understand?

November 22, 2006
11:47 pm
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ScaredinMichigan
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yes gg, I do. I have never been so torn as I am over all of this...I am just sick

November 22, 2006
11:48 pm
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ggfred4
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I didn't know how to tell you and didn't want anyone else to know.

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