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8:28 am
September 29, 2010
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That thread is taking forever to load again...we seem to do that well. As typical for all of our threads, that one was full of pain and growth.
LL, you said you were afraid to post what you did in there because you felt as if I had started to calm down. Well, there is some truth in that. But a whole different side that I am no longer comfortable discussing around here. I don't believe that anyones intentions were to hurt us. But, that is what happened. I do hope that a lot of people learned a lot through the pain that this has brought to all of us. I am not ok with what took place here. But I can not hold on to this. But to stay is for it to continue. In three days, it hasn't stopped. It has died down, but it is still going on. The fact is, even when it does completely die down, my feelings still truly resemble yours. I don't feel like I can be me, for fear of what people are thinking. That is why to me it seems pointless to stay. I would NEVER ask any one of you to leave with or for me. I think that the bond that the five of us carry is a lifelong thing. I think that we have a lot to offer here. But, I would never want to be the reason that one of you walk away from here. Outside of here, there are ways for us to keep this relationship...there are truly. The question is, is that what any of us want. I can only answer for me. But, I cannot stay where i am no longer comfortable, and I feel watched, and everything else. I need to be where I feel safe in order to grow. And I don't think that I will be able to do that here again. I do believe that for me, the ansewr is to go, together or alone. I love you all, and I ask that you please not use my decision as a rock for you to base your decisions. I love what we have. But I know that in my heart that will not continue here now, and that will be harder for me to watch go, than any amount of anything else i will EVER get from here. I hope this makes sense to you guys. I love you all. Again, I am waiting to hear from you guys. I have not yet, asked to be removed...I would never do that without saying goodbye. I love you all, and until the day I die, you will all be my sisters. I love each and everyone of you.
Mich
8:52 am
September 29, 2010
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LL, did you find me yet? I made a new thread...
9:08 am
September 24, 2010
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good morning girls...
and good night LL....
I love you all
I am not sure I will be around tonight ... but I will be thinking of you all
((LL)) ((MICH)) ((GG)) ((CYNDRA))
9:10 am
September 29, 2010
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I will be gone by 4:30 my time to go to the Martina McBride concert with ym 10 year old daughter and niece, but I will be here on and off until then.
9:12 am
September 29, 2010
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Good morning Need. And gg, and Cyn. I have a feeling Cyn is already gone. If that is the case....I love you girl. I appreciate what you did for me. You are a wonderful woman. Thanks. You helped change my life.
9:19 am
September 29, 2010
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LL, are you still here?
9:39 am
September 29, 2010
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yep I found ya. Don't know how long I will make it here but wanted to let ya know that I am in agreement with where you are at...that the "afghan sisters" as we knew is over. And thats ok, everything has its reasons for happening. Also it is time for me to move on from here, the only thing that saddens me is that I told you girls that I would not abandon you, and I wouldn't and don't want to leave you girls but I have to think about my growth, my emotional health and the AAC family has done its job for me to get me on the road.
I no longer feel safe in posting my feelings, OR feel safe in how I go about supporting others. I need a place to be able to do that freely without feeling that am being scrutinized, observed – honestly it was kinda creepy in my opinion. Not kinda, it was. I no longer have the desire to call this place my home for healing, for recovery.
Mich I do hope that you reconsider after giving it some time to settle. You have a lot to offer the newbies that find their way here. Please give it some deep thought before you make your descion. And you , GG, and Need are just getting going on your healing…the afghan sisters can still be, just a new fresh start. I would love to see the 3 of you continue on together.
I do not plan on relinquishing my rights to not be able to post here in the future as I have met some absolutely awesome people on this website as well as find many of the posts educational & resourceful. Leaving it as an option for maybe in the future to hit up the libs side ; ) But my season here accomplished what it needed to and its time LL moves on.
Well, I hitting the hay. Take care. I am sorry Mandy for deserting you, GG & Need. Please know that I am a woman of my word, and would have kept to it, but this shit is just too much for me. It’s happened before to myself in here and I’ve seen it happen to others. It ain’t my style of doing things and I need my strength & energy at this point in my life to hold onto what I have built.
I love you girls and you all will be in my heart for a long time to come. GG I wanted to be there for you during the upcoming weeks…I am so sorry lil sis. (((GG))) Know that I will be holding you close to my heart. You too Mich, and Need : ) And if the three of you continue on, I will be watching & cheering you on from the sidelines.
The drama of LL has officially ended.
((((Love you all)))) LL
9:48 am
September 29, 2010
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I now know that I am done on this site..forever. I feel like my heart was just ripped out of my chest. That girls....that is my drama,
9:52 am
September 29, 2010
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This has brought out a whole new side of anger. I love you all.
9:56 am
September 29, 2010
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gg, please talk to me...PLEASE....the hurt that I feel right now is completely unbearable.....
10:22 am
September 30, 2010
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mich are u here
10:23 am
September 29, 2010
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Kind of gg. Not doing well at all.
10:25 am
September 30, 2010
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mich, ok i am ready, actually been ready,,,but not as free here to speak as all of you...LL's words were the final conclusion...my relase...
10:26 am
September 29, 2010
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To be honest, I am angry at her too...I want this pain to stop.
10:26 am
September 30, 2010
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i am ready to leave if we can have emails; but that is your decision...I agree with everything all of you say...Sisters must really be thinking alike here and No one will ever understand the bond that is misinterpreted
10:27 am
September 29, 2010
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Was what we had worth so little that nobody is willing to fight for it? Because right now I am hurting so bad. The abandonment issue that I am facing has me grounded to the floor.
10:29 am
September 30, 2010
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well to me, cyn is gone, LL is out of my life...and at a time, I thought it wouldn't happen...I am not strong as maybe not has healed as you mich...Your posts are awesome and inspiring to me....I can't stand up to the criticism...you know me...bird with the broken wing...I don't care...I want you in my life...but, you do what you want to do, what is best for you...can't believe LL
10:30 am
September 29, 2010
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LL isn't leaving...she just is willing to give up what we have created here. What has grown...what can NEVER be replaced
10:30 am
September 29, 2010
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I didn't expect her to leave...I just expected her to fight
10:31 am
September 30, 2010
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I don't know mich...abandonment...I think they are just taking care of themselves...that is what each of us must do...do you know what you really want to do? tell me...or maybe you need more time...we can talk or try to
10:33 am
September 29, 2010
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I have to go gg for a while. I will be back. I cannot quit crying, and the pain that I feel right now is horrible...HORRIBLE
10:34 am
September 30, 2010
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mich, please, we need to talk today..can we meet back at a time...
10:35 am
September 29, 2010
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1 your time...I need to get away from here.
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