Avatar
Please consider registering
guest
sp_LogInOut Log In sp_Registration Register
Register | Lost password?
Advanced Search
Forum Scope


Match



Forum Options



Minimum search word length is 3 characters - maximum search word length is 84 characters
sp_TopicIcon
A rose by any other name
November 22, 2009
4:47 pm
Avatar
hopeinhim
Lake Stevens, WA
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi there WD.......we can continue here.

November 22, 2009
5:45 pm
Avatar
hopeinhim
Lake Stevens, WA
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi again,

I guess I am unclear on why WD suggested I move things over here. Maybe he is wanting to avoid the topic, or is thinking of others.

But, anyhow......Atalose, andii, ma strong, lani, and others I guess I will keep it over here.

So, I know he read the email, and I have not gotten a response. He has not called me, or anything. I guess he is "processing". He likes to think things over, and not be hasty before he responds to things.

November 22, 2009
7:07 pm
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hello hopeinhim.

I am a bit disorganized today and I am sorry that I took so long to get back to you.

I wanted to talk to you first because your story reminds me my recent story.

My recent story contains what to some people would be outrageously bizarre and kinky sexual activity and ended in three weeks of really bizarre sexual violence.

My story did not have the same physically violent elements as yours. What happened to me was more nuanced and took place over 21 days.

I feel dirty and worthless and broken and so alone.

So to find someone like you who has a similar story to mine stirs my heart. I feel very protective towards you.

And I am very, very, VERY angry at the men who did that to you.

But mostly, my instinct is to wrap blankets around you and take you to the warm tent where the female Healers do their work.

I do think you need some wise and trustworthy men in your life and I will be a trustworthy man in your life and I do want to talk to you about what happened. But I really think it would be worth your while to gather around you some women. I recommend Kroika as a skilled and trustworthy woman here who could comfort and guide you.

November 22, 2009
7:14 pm
Avatar
hopeinhim
Lake Stevens, WA
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi Worried Dad,

Your response time was not lagging at all. I am cleaning around the house, and trying to figure out my next move. I feel protective of you, too, and your story sounds worse. I hope you haven't lost your livelihood. It is very difficult to talk to any of my friends about this, in the "real" world. I haven't been able to utter a word to anybody. Only "R" and I have talked about it, or referred to it.

I haven't had Kroika weigh in yet, but I will heed your advice. Thanks for caring so much, and for not judging me. It makes me feel less ashamed.

I guess for me, and I don't know about you, but what makes it difficult is that part of it is deviant and consensual. Then, when things got out of control, I had a feeling of "duh".

I will keep you posted.

November 22, 2009
7:47 pm
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hope, I know this thread is between you and worried Dad but I thought I would weigh in with my opinion. Anything consenting adults do is fine with me. I just don't think you were in a positiion to be consenting and that bothers me. Have I ever had too much to drink and slept with someone I shouldn't have? Yep But it was just the two of us. He didn't set me up. It was by my own stupidity. You can't even claim that. He was the one in control.

Bitsy

November 22, 2009
7:54 pm
Avatar
hopeinhim
Lake Stevens, WA
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Bitsy,

You are invited, and you are right. So, his response to my email? He wants to take a break because he thinks I have now been drinking with other people (I have not). I think I am going to let it be his decision, though.

It is easier for me to let him break up with me. That way, I can worry less. I was afraid he would relapse on meth if I broke up with him. I think it is too much gloominess for a new relationship. I should be courted and protected, and my sobriety should be protected. It is too late to press any charges, now I am sure.

November 22, 2009
8:42 pm
Avatar
hopeinhim
Lake Stevens, WA
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

WD - So, I guess we have called the relationship to a halt. A very belated response.....he ended up not trusting me. Imagine that! He had this thing about it I ever wanted to go play, that I should involve him. Well, I didn't want to go play. But, now I feel lost......he has been such a daily part of my life.

And, can I honestly say something? I don't know that I want to dive seriously into the Christian lifestyle again. I just feel like an outcast most of the time. I see, what I assume to be, intact families; and, as a single mom with children from different dads, and twice divorced I feel like I am the black sheep of the flock.

November 22, 2009
9:10 pm
Avatar
It No Longer Matters
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 72
Member Since:
September 27, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

I know how you feel, but where is better... in church or out. Remember, every sinner has a future and every saint has a past...so you have a past...so do I.

Bitsy

November 22, 2009
9:16 pm
Avatar
hopeinhim
Lake Stevens, WA
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Bitsy - there is that quote again. I love it!

November 22, 2009
9:57 pm
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hey, new improved Bitsy.

I doubt that hopeinhim and I are the only ones here that the subject matter at hand applies so as far as I am concerned I think this thread is between AAC and AAC.

November 22, 2009
10:03 pm
Avatar
hopeinhim
Lake Stevens, WA
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

WD

Why am I sad that he broke it off? It is going to be hard, and he totally did not treat me right. What do I do to change this?

November 22, 2009
10:04 pm
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hi hopeinhim,

Thank you so much for getting back.

Well, aren't we a pair.

Discussing sexuality in public is difficult and embarrassing for most people.

When relationship stories involve kink it is extra embarrassing.

When relationship stories involve abuse it is really scary and confusing, There is always that nagging question “did I ask for it or bring it on and how much of the abuse was my fault?”

And when abusive relationship stories also involve “unusual” sex there is also always present an element of shame and wondering how the heck we can find anyone who can possibly understand us.

So I am drawn to your story.

I’ll tell you my story too, over in the Embassy. I promise it’s a doozy, and the correspondences to your situation are going to knock your socks off. Well at least mine are already laying on the floor.

I want to ask you some questions, because I am missing a lot of pieces here.

Tell me how long you have known “R.” and tell me about that relationship.

Then tell me about the “scene” that went wrong for you.

I gather you asked for a “scene,” asked for a fantasy to be fulfilled, it that correct?

Tell me about the conversations where you negotiated the scene.

Respectfully,

WD

November 22, 2009
10:06 pm
Avatar
hopeinhim
Lake Stevens, WA
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Where is the embassy at?

November 22, 2009
10:15 pm
Avatar
hopeinhim
Lake Stevens, WA
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Yeah, I probably should save some of the specific details for a more private type of thread to answer the questions. It is pretty crazy.

November 22, 2009
10:19 pm
Avatar
Worried_Dad
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 43
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Hope in Him,

How long ago did this "scene occur?"

About the religion thing, I suggest you just don't worry about it. God is listening to you even right now and if you want he is totally open to having a conversation with you about this or any other topic.

Yes, it can be hard to lose contact with community. If you want to be close to them go be close to them. Your differences are not as large as what you have in common.

According to Science, every living creature on Earth is related by Blood. The Earth is the Mother of us all.

According to the traditions of every religion we are all siblings in God's eyes.

Human Beings are imbued with innate Dignity and Beauty.

I am proud of you.

November 23, 2009
10:02 am
Avatar
atalose
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 18
Member Since:
September 24, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

hope,

I read the update over on the lib side. Just kind of wanted to comment over here then will join you over there!!!!!

I kind of figured he’d bolt when the “rape” word was mentioned. And in typical addict fashion, he twisted it and turned it all back on you. You can’t be trusted??? LOL he is for real or most likely projecting.

Isn’t it funny how us codies think how lost or hurt they will be without US, when it fact it’s really us that gets lost without them….guess we project to.

You deserve so much better, you’ve worked so hard on your sobriety and in an instant he didn’t hesitate on taking that away from you. Nor did he hesitate on putting your life in jeopardy to satisfy his own sexual addiction…………..because that’s what addicts do.

See over on the other side……

Atalose

~~Hope has a place, but not above reality~~

November 23, 2009
7:05 pm
Avatar
StronginHim77
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 453
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

He bolted and ran because the word "rape" was used. He knows darn good and well what he did was criminal.

- Ma Strong

November 23, 2009
11:56 pm
Avatar
hopeinhim
Lake Stevens, WA
Member
Members
Forum Posts: 3
Member Since:
September 30, 2010
sp_UserOfflineSmall Offline

Atalose,

It IS funny, and we are so replaceable too. It is maddening.......

Yeah Ma, how could you not know? It was beyond unfair what was done to me, although I was being really dumb to get tied up to a bed naked. I mean, hello? But, I guess it is over, and I am safe now..........

Forum Timezone: UTC -8
Most Users Ever Online: 247
Currently Online:
37
Guest(s)
Currently Browsing this Page:
1 Guest(s)
Top Posters:
onedaythiswillpass: 1134
zarathustra: 562
StronginHim77: 453
free: 433
2013ways: 431
curious64: 408
Member Stats:
Guest Posters: 49
Members: 110935
Moderators: 5
Admins: 3
Forum Stats:
Groups: 8
Forums: 74
Topics: 38543
Posts: 714223
Newest Members:
jessicawales, documentsonline, SafeWork, thomasalina, genericsmartdrugs, 才艺
Moderators: arochaIB: 1, devadmin: 9, Tincho: 0, Donn Gruta: 0, Germain Palacios: 0
Administrators: admin: 21, ShiningLight: 572, emily430: 29

Copyright © 2019 MH Sub I, LLC. All rights reserved. Terms of Use | Privacy Policy | Cookie Policy | Health Disclaimer